Okay, so I'm gonna start with this a bit of a background on me. I'm 20 years old and I first found out about the PUA community last year when I signed up, pussied out of doing even the Newbie Challenge, met a girl at work a few weeks after joining and got together with her after about two months of talking/seeing each other.

We were together for three months before she dumped me in November. Since then I've been a mess and now I've realised it's time to get my life on track, so although this journal is primarily about PUA and improving my game, it's also a blog detailing how I'm bettering myself at a person and something for me to analyse and see how well I'm progressing.

Currently, I feel like I smoke too much weed, drink too much alcohol, don't try hard enough/don't feel motivated at university which is causing me to fail, don't go out and socialise enough and I'm also currently in debt. I'm also not happy with my appearance which I'm in the process of changing. By this time next year I would like to reverse all these things so I'm making some fairly straight forward long term goals which I'll evaluate this time next year, if not sooner. I'll make sure to tick them off as I go along.

Stop drinking to get drunk [ ]
Do not smoke more than 1/8 a week [ ]
Gain a 2.1 degree [ ]
Go out at least twice a week [ ]
Get a job [ ]
Pay off debts [ ]
Get a new wardrobe [ ]
Go to the gym three times a week [ ]

Like I said, these are long term so some I won't be attempting until September. I go the the States in June for the summer so would like to enjoy that before really focusing on self improvement.

As far as PUA type goals go, I'll make weekly targets. I'm not sure how quickly I'm going to progress so the only long term goal I'm going to set it to have more women in my life and be comfortable and confident talking to them. Currently, I've slept with three girls, two one night stands and my ex I mentioned earlier and got head off one more, another one night stand. one of the girls I fucked and the girl who gave me head occurred after the break up. I am not confident talking to girls at all, however, when I'm hammered I'm actually quite successful. If I make a point of going out to get wasted rather than to pick up, I usually always k-close. at least number close. I want to be able to get the confidence to do this when sober.

I'm going to update this as often as I can, preferably daily, at least weekly.

I'm also going to keep the OP updated with stats, just out of interest.

Approached [3]
Number Close [0]
Kiss Close [0]
Fuck Close [0]

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JayBo's Journal

Day One

Okay, so today I went into town to buy a new pipe. I went in with unwashed hair, a sports jacket, baggy jeans and trainers, not dressed up at all. Currently I'm in the middle of reading the game. There is one bit, near the halfway point, where Style depicts the four different types of people who attend the workshops. One of the personality types was a guy who was uptight in his ways, learnt as much theory as possible but never put it into practice. I'm that guy. I have spent the last week, at least, reading PUA articles, watching videos, gathering as much information as possible. The differences between day game and night time, difference between direct and indirect openers. Knowing this stuff is useless unless put into practice. Therefore, I'm not reading anymore theory until I've approached at least 20 girls. I decided why not start now? What's stopping me. I knew the answer, approach anxiety. The thought of stopping woman in the street and talking to them scares me. It shouldn't, but it does. And I want it to go away.

I set a target for myself to stop ten people and ask them a question. I have been growing a beard lately so I decided to ask ten girls if I would look better with or without the beard.

I'm gonna say now, I failed. However, there is a silver lining.

I walked around for half an hour, with butterflies in my stomach every time I saw a girl. 'I can't stop her' I though. 'What if she laughs.? What if everybody around me laughs with her?'. Then it hit me, 'keep thinking like that and you'll never have girls around you. You can't expect them to stop you'. Then I saw a six out of ten walking on her own. I walked infront of her, put my hand out in front of me and said 'Hi, Can I get your opinion on something please?'. She looked at me, stopped for a milisecond and carried on saying 'I've got to be somewhere.' Although she didn't stop to talk, I felt better. I actually stopped a girl and talked to her. And it wasn't that bad! However, when I thought about doing it again, the butterflies came back. Another twenty minutes passed before I built up the courage to do it again. This time a blonde 7.
Me:Hi, I need to get you're opinion on something, It'll be quick. Okay, do you think I'd look better with or without this shitty beard?
Her: Errrrr, I dunno.
Me: Come on, honestly?
Her: Without
Me: Thank you.

And I walked away. Behind me, I heard screams of laughter, I think maybe her friends saw me as she was meeting up with them. But I didn't care, I literally had the biggest smile on my face. I had just stopped a girl and had a small exchange of words with her. This was a huge achievement for me. Again though, the thought of doing it again terrified me. I waited around another twenty minutes or so before approaching a blonde 8.
Me: Hi. I need to get your opinion on something quickly.
She stopped and looked at me.
Me: Okay, this is kind of a weird question but I want you to answer honestly. Do you think I'd look better with or without this beard?
Her: Erm, probably without.
Me: Okay, thank you. Bye.

This last approach was by far my best. The girl actually looked interested and I think I could have kept her there talking. However, just asking her a question was enough for me. After this I decided to go home. I was happy approaching three.

I'm definitely going back tomorrow and I'm gonna set a target of approaching 5 girls. I'll update then.

Day in Review[

Approach 10 girls [3]

Total
Approached [3]
Number Close [0]
Kiss Close [0]
Fuck Close [0]

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JayBo's Journal

Okay, just a quick update, yesterday was the hottest day we've had in a while so I decided to spend it chilling with some friends rather than go out trying to open girls. Today I need to go and meet some people I haven't seen in a while so won't get anything done today either. I'll probably resurrect this on Monday when I'll have more free time.

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JayBo's Journal

I've got quite a bit of stuff I need to get done today so I'll be heading into town a bit later. I've just re read my last journal entry and thought about what I could do to improve my chances of having longer conversations with women. One thing I noticed is when asking for their opinion on something, I was asking a closed question 'Do you think I'd look better with or without this beard?'. Today, I'm going to ask the same question in a slightly different way that will hopefully require her to give me more than a one word answer; 'My friend said I should shave this beard, what do you think of it?'. I'm also feeling more confident today, I've taken my time getting ready and put on some decent clothes.

I'll update later when I'm back with results.

Targets

Approach 3 to 5 girls [ ]
Move conversation past the initial opener [ ]

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JayBo's Journal

Day Two

Okay, so I've come home for lunch and thought I'd give a quick update.

Basically, I failed. I was in field for about two hours, saw plenty of opportunities and didn't take any of them. I just felt too nervous. Twice I walked over with the intention of opening, over-thought things and backed away last minute. I'm so pissed off with myself.

What's getting me is the fact that I've got an opener pre-planned. I know what I'm going to saw and that's causing me to over-think how to word it, and I get worried that it'll come out completely wrong. At the same time, I don't think I'd be able to improvise something. Any tips from anyone who may have experienced something similar?

On the plus side, when walking home, I remembered the newbie mission. I only encountered one person, an old lady, but I managed to hold eye contact and say 'Hi'. She smiled and returned the 'hi', reminding me that talking to strangers is fun! I was hungry so still came home but it's given me a boost and I'll be going back out after to try and hit my targets for today. Let's see how it goes...

[EDIT]

Okay, just got back from round 2. And 3. And still nothing. Man, I'm so annoyed with myself. I could lie and say the opportunities didn't arise but they did. Numerous times. I just pussied out.

It's not that I'm not a confident person, I am. I'm good at talking to strangers in certain social situations. In those awkward first meetings, first day of university, for example, I'm always the one to get conversations flowing and making people feel relaxed and comfortable so I know self confidence isn't the problem. I am scared of rejection and I don't know why. I know I need to push myself out of my comfort zone but I think I need to take baby steps.

I'm more than comfortable asking strangers questions when I need to, directions, when the next bus is etc. Going out and actively looking for people to speak to seems, I dunno, weird to me, like I'm deceiving people or acting creepy. I know it shouldn't, I was trying to hype myself up today telling myself 'would you be creeped out if a stranger asked you an opinion on something? No, you'd be happy they value your opinion', which is true.

I dunno, I suppose the more time I spend in-field the more I learn about myself, which is a positive. I'm gonna have a read through the approach anxiety board tonight and make some new targets for tomorrow.

Day in Review

Approach 3 to 5 girls [0]
Move conversation past the initial opener [x]

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JayBo's Journal

Okay, it's been a while since I've updated this, I've only been out twice since the last update, the weather has been really shit here and there's no indoor mall or anything that I can easily get to, just a small high street which is outside and with none stop rain, it's not very populated.

However, last couple of days I've been out, not with the intention of gaming but because I genuinely needed to go to town. I thought this would help as my main problem is over-thinking, I thought, 'if I'm there for a genuine reason, I'll feel more comfortable approaching'. I was wrong.

I didn't approach a single girl. And I feel so frustrated with myself. I've posted this in the AA section but it can't hurt to post it here too.
I'm staying at my mum's for a couple of weeks and I know literally no-one except my mum and my sister in this area so going to parties is out of the question. It's the perfect chance to improve my day game but I'm just too pussy. Anyone got any exercises they recommend?

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JayBo's Journal

So, this journal is becoming more of a loser's journal than a beginner's journal. I've decided that the reason I can't cold approach is because I don't have the confidence, even though I may think I do. I'm scared of rejection and and effectively, I'm trying to take too big a steps before laying down the foundations. I found this post which I think will help me a lot.
This sounds like something I can do, so from now on, these will be my targets for the next seven days, building up momentum and confidence as I go. The way I see it now, asking for directions is better than not talking to strangers at all.

Let's see how it goes, I'll report back later today.

Targets

Ask 5 girls for directions [ ]

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JayBo's Journal

Just got back. Once I got to town, I said to myself 'I want to do this in one hour. Five sets in one hour, one every twelve minutes shouldn't be too hard.'

Another challenge I wanted to set myself was to only ask girls I found attractive, starting on Day 2 of the guide TheFear set out. I think it took my twenty minutes to approach the first girl. I just stopped her by saying 'Hi, do you know where the bus stop is?'. She kinda got embarrassed and quickly pointed in the direction, laughing and looking down at the floor. It turns out she was going there too, and quickly walked off while I walked behind her. It was kinda awkward and I probably could/should have said something but I was happy getting the first approach out of the way. Managed to walk around for a bit and ask someone else. After 45 minutes in-field, I had only asked two people for directions, if I wanted to reach my target I needed to approach three girls in 15 minutes, one every 5 minutes. I looked up and saw a girl in front of me texting while walking. I sped up past her as I didn't want to approach her from behind, got a few feet in front of her, stopped turned around and asked her. She was really friendly and said she'd walk me to the bus stop. It was only round the corner but I made an effort to ask her if she was local and where she lived. She told me and asked if I was from around the area. I told her i wasn't, thanked her and she left. This really boosted my confidence and it proved to me strangers are friendly and I shouldn't be scared of approaching them! Shortly after, I got my fourth approach, checked my phone and realised an hour had passed. I didn't mind though and walked around looking for a fifth attractive girl to complete my targets. Fifteen minutes later, I saw a girl smoking a cigarette, standing outside a shop I guess she must have worked at so I approached her and asked for directions. She also seemed kinda nervous and told me to 'walk through the carpet' instead of the carpark which we both laughed at. I thanked her and left, happy with myself for finally completing what I set out to do.

I did notice that I could have probably worked with what a couple of girls said to game them, however that wasn't my task today. The third girl, when I stopped her, had to think and get her bearings when I asked her where the bus stop was. As she was thinking she said 'God, I'm so stupid sometimes', and I just said 'Nah, don't worry about it'. What would be a good thing to say if this situation were to arise again and I was trying to game her. Secondly, what would have been a good, teasey comeback when the fifth girl said I need to 'walk through the carpet'?

Overall I'm happy with myself. This is the first time since starting this journal I've completed all of my targets, albeit, 15 minutes later than I would have liked. All the girls I asked were 7 or 8s which I'm happy with. I'd like to say a big thank you to TheFear for sharing his strategy, I think it will really help me!

Day in Review

Ask 5 girls for directions [5]

Notes
- Girls are actually friendly!
- I pussied out of approaching 2/3/4 sets etc. Something to work on in the future
- Approaching people in the street isn't weird

Stats to Date

Approached [8]
Number Close [0]
Kiss Close [0]
Fuck Close [0]

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JayBo's Journal

Just a quick update today. It's a Sunday and as my mum lives in a small town, it's not busy at all on a Sunday. Because of this, I didn't want to set myself any targets as I knew the lack of girls did not work in my favour so I decided to just go on a walk with nothing in mind and just make something up when I got there. I decided to look in a few shops and realised I need to buy a new pair of sunglasses, so decided to just ask shop assistants which pair they thought looked better on me, an aviator or wayfarer design.

The first shop I was in, I could see an attractive assistant, a solid 8 walking around, rearranging clothes, not really doing much at all. I spent ages looking at the sunglasses trying to build up the bollocks to approach and after about ten/fifteen minutes, finally did. Got a decent response from her, probably could have talked to her longer and probably the only one I could have stayed in set with all day but I was just happy getting the first approach over and done with.

I went into two more shops and with each approach, I could feel myself getting more confident. In the third shop, there were two girls behind the counter so I just went and asked both of them. I know they were store assistants so it was kinda a false environment, but this is the first two set I've approached, feels kinda good.

I tried a couple other shops but the only people working there were men so I decided against it. The final mens clothes shop I know of in this town is the biggest. I walked in and went straight to the men's sections. After scanning the men's section, I realised that only men were working here so went and had a quick look at the women's section. Here, I saw two workers, talking about something and thought perfect, I felt so confident at this point. I walked back to pick up two pairs of sunglasses and in the back of my head, something was telling me 'You don't need to do this, you feel confident, just leave'. I fought this, though, took the sunglasses straight to where the girls were, where I discovered one of them had left. Oh well. Asked the remaining girl anyway.

I walked out thinking about how it took me 15 minutes to muster up the courage to talk to the girl in the first shop and how I just went in, selected a target and approached straight away in the final shop. Seeing an improvement is good. I'm happy. Confidence is building and I'm looking forward to see what tomorrow brings.

Oh, and for the record, apparently wayfarers look better on me, they won 3-2. Weird because I've only ever bought aviators in the past..

Notes
- The girls in the final 3 stores all looked at me like I was a bit weird. I don't know whether they actually did or if it was just me. Either way, I don't care
- I'm not sure if I was more confident knowing that they worked there so they couldn't outright reject me. We'll see tomorrow
- I'm not sure if the girl in the second store did try to reject me. I put on both pairs, asked her and she said 'I don't know' and just kinda looked at me. I had to push her for an answer but got one in the end. Again, even if this was a rejection, I didn't care

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JayBo's Journal

I'm going to stop masturbating today. I've read mixed reviews on the effect it has but most have been favourable so I'm interested in how it will affect me. For today's task, I want to give at least two girls on the street (not employees) sincere compliments. I have three openers in mind and I'm not sure which I'll use yet, I guess it depends on the situation. The three I think I'll use are the directions opener (I want to avoid this if possible, I find it easier and want to push myself. Maybe to warm up though), the cologne opener and the 'it's my sister's birthday coming up, where did you get that -insert item of clothing here- from? It looks really good on you.'

Feeling pretty confident so I'll but in a bonus challenge. I want be too pissed off if I don't complete this today but it's something I want to do soon, I still feel so nervous about approaching 2 sets.

Targets

Open at least 5 sets [ ]
Give 2 sincere compliments [ ]
*BONUS* Open a 2 set *BONUS* [ ]

_________________
JayBo's Journal

Just been in field for an hour and half and came back to report progress. I've only come home for my dinner so I'll be going back out later to complete my objectives.

Firstly, being in such a small town is not good for meeting women. Due to the fact it's a monday, most of the girls I want to meet are at school, at work or shopping in bigger towns/cities. Walking through the streets today I saw many elderly people, single mums, middle-aged couples but very few girls in their late teens/early 20s.

However, let's not make excuses. I first went into Boots to spray two different aftershaves onto my wrist in case I wanted to use the cologne opener. As soon as I did this I realised I wouldn't be using it, I just don't have the confidence. So, I went to a women's clothes shop and started looking at the necklaces. As I was choosing two, one of the assistants, HB7, came over to me and asked if I needed help. 'In a joking I-don't really-what-I'm-looking-for way, I replied 'Well, not yet but I might come and find you in a bit.' She laughed and walked off. When she came back I asked her for her opinion on two necklaces, explaining my sister's birthday was coming up. She was receptive and I think I could have carried on a conversation. Straight after that, I walked outside and saw a two set, thinking about my bonus target, I asked them where the post office was. What I didn't realise was that they were also with two guys, making this a mixed 4 set. Although I only asked for directions, this gave me confidence.

The final approach I made this morning was a HB8 sitting down texting. I went up to her and said 'Hi'. As soon as I said it I realised my voice was so shakey and lacking confidence. She looked up. 'Where did you get that scarf? My sister's birthday is coming up and I need to get her a present." She told me and I said 'Thanks, it looks really nice on you'. She seemed pretty disinterested and looked at her phone while she thanked me and I walked off. Oh well.

I'll go back out to get the other two opens and compliment at least one of them later.

[EDIT]

Okay, just got back from the second leg. I had to go and pick a parcel up from the post office and then decided to go onto the high street. I spent about 20 minutes walking around, too hesitant to approach anyone. I've noticed that lately, rather than being scared to approach, I' just hesitant and the moment goes. I know that's approach anxiety but, I dunno, it's just a different feeling from before.

Anyway, after pussyfooting around for 20 minutes, I thought fuck it, next girl I see I'm approaching. 2 seconds later, a girl walks out of a restaurant and sparks up, remembering Mystery's 3 second rule, I made eye contact and just walked over. Using the parcel in my hands as a prop, I asked for directions to the post office. As she was pointing them out, her sleeve rolled up her arm a little showing a tattoo. 'Thanks, nice tattoo by the way', She smiled and thanked me and I walked off. I was happy with myself, got the approach out the way, got the second compliment of the day out the way and improvised something to say, a thing I've previously struggled with. Literally 20 seconds later, I got my fifth approach of the day by asking for directions to the post office again.

Although I completed all of my objectives, I was a little pissed off that 3 out of the 5 were using the directions opener. It seems like a cop out. From now on, I'm only going to use this to warm up, and any set I open using it won't count towards my daily objectives.

Another thing. On my way back I saw a girl in front of me with a really cool jacket. I was going to ask her where she got it from using the 'It's my sister's birthday' opener but as I tried to walk past her and open her from the front, she kinda noticed me and we made eye contact. I should have said something there but again I was hesitant and it would have been weird for me to open her again after that. Or so I told myself, I was just making excuses. I regret not opening her, it would have been good practice.

Day in Review

Open at least 5 sets [5]
Give 2 sincere compliments [2]
*BONUS* Open a 2 set *BONUS* [x]

Notes
- I feel more comfortable approaching
- I'm very weak at continuing conversation. something I need to work on
- Two sets are not as intimidating today
- I'm really beginning to enjoy this. Can't wait until I start seeing results
- A number close still seems like a long way off
- Warming up is paramount to success. I need to stop trying to jump in at the deep end
- I want to challenge myself and stop using the directions opener

"Never regret the things you do, only the things you don't"

"The magic happens at the end of your comfort zone"

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JayBo's Journal

The weather's a bit shitty today, overcast and windy. Still, I'll be venturing into town a bit later.

Today, I want to work on conversations rather than just opening. I feel a little more comfortable approaching and opening so want to move on the next stage. Last night and this morning, I've been watching daygame videos on YouTube, James Marshall in particular. I like his natural style so this is something I'm going to experiment with today.

Due to the weather and the fact that this is my first time using a natural style, I think I'm gonna set my targets pretty low. I know it's good to push yourself, but seeing green in those boxes is motivating as fuck. Also, the no masturbating didn't last very long. As Russell Brand once said, 'If I sit down, on my own, at home, in front of a computer, I will just end up wanking'. Self control is the next thing I need to work on.

I'll be back later with updates.

Targets

Open 3 sets using situational/natural openers [ ]

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JayBo's Journal

Just back. Today was a complete failure.

Firstly, town was much busier than yesterday, however, I didn't feel comfortable trying to use a natural opener in such a busy place, so went to a quieter section by the river. I guess the confidence to open in busier environments will come with time.

Anyway, pickings were slim, obviously, as less people were about. I saw the perfect opportunity to open a girl sitting down eating a Subway. However, I hesitated, got into my own head and bottled it. I was so frustrated with myself. More frustrated than I've been since I properly started learning game. I take this as a positive, it means I'm taking this seriously.

However, not approaching just killed my motivation. I had a walk around a local park but no-one except mums and kids were there. I was so disappointed in myself I just came home.

I think I'm gonna try meditating tomorrow, try and learn to live in the moment and stop overthinking things. I also want to give this no masturbation another blast, use the frustration I felt to motivate myself to stay committed. Let's see how it goes.

A question for anyone who may be following this - How do you meditate?

[EDIT]

Fuck this. I've been sitting here for nearly 3 hours now pissed off. I'm going back out, using this as motivation. Setting no targets, just want to see what I can do, whether it be opening, trying to initiate conversation, whatever. Even if it's just asking for directions again, I don't want today to be a complete failure.

[EDIT]

Back, 40 minutes later. Town was much less busy than earlier. I walked over to the quieter part by the river to try a natural opener but there was no one there. I still didn't feel comfortable naturally opening on the high street, I suppose this is psychological and will dissipate with time and experience.

I decided to try a new opener, asking girls what they thought of make up on guys and explaining it was research for a university paper. If anyone's reading this, I'd like you to critique this, I thought it worked quite well as it allowed follow up questions such as 'do you think it depends on the guys style?' and 'what would you consider too much?' which could then lead into a conversation, however, I'd be open to changing it. I wasn't too sure about the research for university part but that's something to work on later.

I was in town for probably 25 minutes total. In this time, I managed to open 3 sets, carry on conversation with these follow up questions. Something to note, two of these sets were 2 sets, something I've struggled with in the past. I noticed that the last girl I spoke to, a HB7 (would have been an 8 but had 2 facial piercings, not my thing) was really interested and I think I could have got her to stay if her friend hadn't dragged her away. I could tell she was attracted to me - holding eye contact, her legs were crossed, she was asking me questions. Felt good.

Anyway, approaching is definitely getting easier and I'm enjoying the progress. The 3 second rule is golden. I didn't complete what I set out today but after a bad start, it didn't end too badly. Progress was still made.

Day in Review

Open 3 sets using situational/natural openers [0]

Notes
- I didn't warm up. This is something I need to do in future
- I need to stay in the moment, forget about the future. Stop thinking ahead!
- Everyone has bad days. Use this as motivation for the future
- 3 second rule, 3 second rule, 3 second rule
- Opening is becoming easier
- Opening 2 sets is becoming easier

"If at first you don't succeed, try, try and try again"

"One of the most common causes of failure is the habit of quitting when one is overtaken by temporary defeat.”

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JayBo's Journal

Okay, what I learnt yesterday is I think I need to warm up before going straight into less comfortable territory, so today I'm going to try that.

Also, today marks the first day of no masturbation (again). Gonna go for at least a week, just to see if it affects anything.

Targets

Open at least 7 sets without using the direction opener [ ]
Give at least 3 genuine compliments [ ]
Open one set with a natural/situational or direct opener [ ]

_________________
JayBo's Journal

Back for now. I might go back out later, we'll see. Depends on how I feel.

I got in field at 12.08, left at 12.53. In that time, I made my 7 approaches, a couple were 2 sets (I forget how many, 1 or 2) and at least 3 were HB8s.

My confidence seemed shot today. I don't know why, but I just couldn't give any compliments. Only one set was actually receptive, I think I need a new opener. On all 7 I used 'what do you think of guys in makeup' each time explaining it was for a university project. Maybe this comes across as too researchy/salesman-ish..

Another thing to note, the third set I opened completely blew me out. This is the first time this has happened since the first time I ever opened a girl about 3 weeks ago. Was I bothered? A little. But rejection is good.

A good thing about today is looking back and comparing it to Saturday (God, it seems like so long ago!) It took me 1 hour and 15 minutes to ask 5 girls, all 1 sets, for directions. And I saw scared as fuck each time. Today, I used an opinion opener which I previously struggled with and managed to open 7 sets, some 2 sets, in 45 minutes. The approach anxiety wasn't eating away at me, either. The improvement is there. I am now comfortable opening sets. I now need to work on engaging them into a conversation. I'm still not sure how I'm going to practice this. I'll look around the boards for advice.

Day in Review

Open at least 7 sets without using the direction opener [7]
Give at least 3 genuine compliments [0]
Open one set with a natural/situational or direct opener [0]

Notes
- My approach anxiety is much less, I still have a fear of rejection. This is why I presently struggle with opening directly/naturally
- I need to work on building past the opener and move onto starting conversation
- Maybe I need a new opener(s)?
- It feels good to see improvement. Keeping a journal is probably just as important and learning the material.

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JayBo's Journal