How much is too much and how much is too little in a relationship? I have noticed that if I don't give my girlfriend attention daily, she will go into withdrawal. She may perceive that she is doing most of the effort..I mean, I don't want to text her when I don't have anything to say. For example, today was my day of reflection, because I have been having low points in my self-esteem the past few days. I didn't text anyone who didn't text me today. If you texted me today, then good for you, I responded. She didn't text me all day, so I didn't bother. No, I am not gaming my girlfriend, but I just wasn't in the social mood. I even turned down a social outing today. I believe she took it the wrong way and thinks I am trying to place all the work on her...which isn't true.


She has the same pride/stubborn quality as I do when it comes to these things. That is the only thing I see that may be a problem in my relationship. We are alike in the way we handle things...which isn't a good thing sometimes. Other guys are always there to chat her up. As other girls are always there to chat me up. What do you recommend? I am thinking of just sucking it up and throwing her a text every day.


P.S. : As you can see, I am not very experienced in the relationship realm. It is a whole new ball game.

Mr. A

_________________
In a funk? Read this

pua-lounge/the-importance-patience-this ... his%20game

Damn, I was just going to write about exactly the same problem.
For me, it's just relatively new to be the one that starts the conversation.. it's usually her who writes to me ..

Hope that you get some good answers

At least you're not texting for the sake of texting, and genuinely want something of substance to share with her.

_________________
"Let me ask you something. If the rule you followed brought you to this, of what use was the rule?"

If you don't have anything to say, don't say it. But if you have a meaningful relationship where you share activities and thoughts than who texts who and what to text about should never be a problem.

For example sometimes I have a rant, or just generally I'm in a good mood, these times I text my girflriend a shitton without expecting her to reply. Like 5-10 texts without waiting for reply (well we do SPAM, but whatever). If she doesn't reply I don't really care. Sometimes she does the same thing with me, so things equal out.

I had relationships where I was thinking about when I should text, what should I reply etc. But at the end of the day these relationships turned out to be quite empty. We had nothing really to talk about, we just had sex and watching movies pretty much, eventually these will end in a break up anyway.

I mean if you have a proper relationship this is a non-issue. You shouldn't even think about this. If it bothers you talk to her about it. If you have a bad day, talk to her about it. Maybe she can help you cheering you up.

Just text her if you feel like at I believe. It would feel more genuine, and she will like the fact that you want to chat a bit up with her. But don't throw daily text that don't mean much. That would seem like calling for attention (too much).

It's ok to be a little bit dependant sometime with your GF. That way she feels that she is 'needed', in the sense that you love the way she gives attention to you. Too much neediness, well you know what will happen then. And make sure you don't close out your feelings for her, because that could cause a trust problem.

Wallie

_________________
The Learning Journal:
--> wallies-journal-vt141967.html