Yes, I'll end discussion at this point.

-her investment hasn't been pulled away, or lessened. Yet.
-in some ways affection has been demonstrated and risen
-but she rarely got out of the line of her accustomed schedule to back that up spontaneously, like person with experience and insight into relationships would.

Reason I'm confused.

If she really starts to visibly pull away in more than one aspect from now on, I'll know what to do.

Thanks everyone for your time.

[well, important update]

On top of all that, now she did started acting aloof in communication, and I think there are hints of boredom (shorter and quicker one liners, less enthusiasm) and small shit tests are starting to strike again(or is it cynicism), even passive aggressive disrespect. Naturally I act unmoved, but so does she. That's the texting part recently. Generally, if I'm visibly pissed off for some reason(which is rare), she'll just ignore my mood.

And I know from experience, when it comes close to 5 months, these types of teen girls start taking things for granted. Then it becomes a choice to go along their crap of maturing process, but usually its not a good timing for LTR with them at this stage, especially when its first they got into. Interestingly, their maturity level seems to drop with time, as it was acted to initially impress you.

After there was suspiciously no sex last time, today I noticed such behaviour over text.

These days she goes through graduation period, which possibly includes parties and drinking, and as usually until I'll try to make specific meeting, I'll be last to know if she plans to attend something that same day.



But, I don't know if you're supposed to ignore when it becomes like this, whether lazy period(day or week) in relationship should be normal, not being needy all the time from both sides, or I must pack up and be gone before storm comes.

I don't think she's cheating, but this is subtly starting to seem like a fertile ground for it. +I'm sure she's the type to notice other men, she used to comment 'celebrities' like crazy. Wouldn't be surprised she falls quickly, according to insight into her character.

Chemicals are probably wearing off, and considering all of the parameters now, I'm not sure if its wise to let it flow, or check if soft nexts are going to turn into final NEXT, or some third option.

I'm starting to loose parts of my enthusiasm as well.

I don't mean to sound like I'm repeating myself, but until you stop giving a fuck and start seeing other girls, she will definitely not want you any more than she does now.

Believe me, I do give less fucks now.

After all, I'd have no problem with another HBs coming across, now that things became unpredictable. However, I'm not living in a city of opportunities. And mentality here is very poor and crude, including women, which catastrophically limits selection. If I start to think I've met intelligent female adequate for any type of deal, it turns out like this later on, another one in history of failed relationships. Then I just come out bitter and fucked. Its just crappy to end like this and see it was all a fucked up waste of time.

Which is problematic because I have to focus on other important things in life right now.

Dear Stephen B.

I have read your first thread, and reading this one, your posts of explaining yourself and your thoughts on the matter have impressed me, especially for your age(23 was it, am I right?). Im 21 and have been in this same situation, noticing the same things you do, analyzing the exact same way you did, came to the same conclusions of slutty acts, and mine hid it from everyone,however opened up to me after digging trough, and she admitted nobody has asked her questions like I did. Our texting goes the same way, im the last to know, and if I talk to her about it, ill just get a stupid I dont know why I'm like this answer, etc, don't want you to be mad etc.

After reading your post, I realize we see ourselves as very high value men, I atleast do, and won't settle for anything less then our requirements, we want the diamonds in the dirt that haven't been found/used. I dumped this one straight, just today! Told her done playing games, and she understood me, and we left it at there, straight No Contact now, not to get her back, but for me to allow all these feelings to sink in and stop myself from going crazy over analyzing everything. Time to move on, and find that diamond that i've been looking for, all the while focussing on the other important stuff in life, which is improving yourself academically,financially, physically and mentally.

Its true that if this were a fuckbuddy relationship it wouldn't bother as much, however as I did, you have invested alot in this ,and thats why its hard to let go, because you want to protect your investment. I have many posts/threads that will be very interesting for you to read, and if you want to chat about it, please pm me, I have the feeling we can share a lot.

Also thanks to the other posters, zmcb, your words also hold true, in which where you said
" Now, I don't want to sound mean, but I highly doubt you will act on those reasons/or the decisions you're contemplating. What will happen instead is most likely she will continue to withdraw and you will continue to try to make it work, while blaming her, and becoming more and more insecure, and eventually it will all come to a whimpering end."

I have done exactly this, and now its come to an end, don't regret it as much tho, because I know what I did wrong(atleast I think, became to available as you say). I've tried to fix it, all the while blaming her, and I actually feel sorry for making her go trough this. This has been a nice experience, and time to move onto better ones.

Good luck and thanks all.

So.

Basically when things upgrade to better, I find myself creating problems out of the past, because it can't stop bothering me and I start to see it in unrelated details, like its hinted at me.

When I bring it up(can't help myself if I'm triggered), and the way I bring it up (indirectly), she ends being maybe offended and angry. Thus I have to deal with her attitude additionally. This counts as a first fights and I loose my nerve easily as well. I also called her out on some other things recently. Now I know how she acts when 'provoked'. Well, aloof, which is opposite of her good behaviour.

I was angry that she gets moody with me just because I touch some subjects in certain tone(it was typing online btw), even though I try to control it to sound less harsh. I was also drunk and made a mistake to delete her from social network where we communicate the most. I'm not even sure if she noticed it, but she keeps replying like she didn't.

What do you suggest is the best way of sorting things out when you're both not sure who is being more irrational and silent conflicts are bred?

She was on a vacation ?

Well everybody is a potential sex addicted monkey when push comes to shove.

Considering that the setting for this past experience of hers was probably very promoting for what happened I doubt that there are a lot of women -who accept their instincts- who wouldn't have done it.

group pressure, lessening of social boundaries.

The reason she wants to talk to you about it is probably because she doesn't know what to think of it herself and she wants to be accepted by you (which is a good thing cause that means she values you). Cause of people like some previous commenters on this post many women have an hard time accepting their natural cravings for sex.

She just went with a certain flow and it culminated in her and her friend having sex. Big deal, from what I read I think the fact that she hided the largest part of it was because she was ashamed of it, which means that she dissaproves it on the one hand while on the other she feels that by the time it was the natural thing to do, it would be for any women.


Monogamy is a self-imposed frame in which two people decide to be exclusive to eachother.

In the time she had done this she wasn't comitted to anyone, so she didn't break anyones trust.

So what was your reaction to her?

If I would want to have a good relationship with her I would say:
O.K. I understand and though it does raise some doubts I'm glad that you've chosen to commit yourself to me, and I'm in for a monogamous relationship with you, are you?

And she'll say yes and you'll know that she means it.

And you will live happily ever after enjoying an sexually commited but unrestricted GF.

Nevertheless it's always smart to keep your options open.

Let go of the past, start living in the present.

Go listen to some Eckhart Tolle audio