I'm looking for some direct, honest advice here.

I've been dating a girl exclusively for about a month now. On the whole, things are going great; we spend a lot of time together, have sex very often, etc. We get on really well.

But something's been unnerving me more and more recently: she's friends with a lot of her exes. Now, I can be fairly confident that this girl will be faithful to me: she hasn't cheated before, she's not secretive about her exes (she tells me about them, etc.) -- and in one recent case, she shot an ex down who was trying to get back with her. On the one hand, she's honest with me and I feel I can trust her.

On the other hand, however, that doesn't mean it's easy to accept. I'm certainly not friends with any of my exes -- that's the last thing I want. I can't understand how my girlfriend could have a fling (short-term sexual relationship) with a guy for 1.5 months, and remain just friends with him, without anything going on (this guy in particular has a girlfriend now).

What do you guys think? Am I being insecure? Or are these red flags which I'm missing?

I'm happy to provide more details if necessary. Thanks in advance, guys.

I think you might be over analyzing the situation... however, any time one of my ex's calls me... We wind up playing naked twister. Depends on what type of exes she has really... If they are the type of guy who can get girls, she will probably try and lock them down because thats how some girls are. There is such thing as a "female player"... All women are pick up artists lol

Sounds to me like it's just a case of insecurity. She's not hiding it and you admitted she is honest with you.

Try to let it be. For the record, being with a guy for 6 weeks I would think makes for a lot easier time to be friends afterwards. Something that last a year and a half and was really serious at one point makes it a lot harder.

Me personally if I have a gf whose talking to her exs that's a big red flag and sometimes a deal breaker. I look at it from my point of view the only exs I keep talking too I know I could smash or get with easily. Your girl keeps guys around she knows want to get with her, which to me doesn't signal to them that she's real serious about you. No straight single ex boyfriend is not going to end up trying something with your girl eventually.

If she is up front and honest with you then I think you can relax.

If she's dodgy with her phone, texts in secret, saves their name as "Mum" or something then next her. If she meets up with them a lot, especially without telling you, then you should next her.

In my experience, there are SOME situations in which I am cool with a girl being friends with/in contact with an ex, but its usually bullshit and there is something else going on. That is just in my experience, I have had a shitload of ex-bf drama and it put me through a lot of hurt with girls I really liked and turned me jaded and a little cold. I shot down an 8.5 recently purely because she was always on about being friends with her ex and even saying how she went to the zoo with him. I called bullshit and walked away.

How does she talk about her exes? A girl constantly bringing him up and vehemently badmouthing him is a red flag for me. She should either be indifferent about him, or not bring him up unless you ask or are on the subject. An ex triggering an emotional response in her is a sign to fucking run a mile.

I agree with RO on this one completely.

Her actions tell you what you need to know. Openness and honesty about a guy she fucked for a couple weeks in her past doesn't bother me one bit. Getting shady with the phone, etc says a lot more.

Generally I consider seeing exes while dating someone inappropriate. I set that down as a boundary when I date, and I reciprocate by cutting contact to my exes when I'm in relationships. Like said before, exes tend to have a tendency to want sex when they contact their former SOs. I think trust is earned, and the paradigm of "just be trusting" is somewhat stupid, to be honest. When people give trust for granted they get burned. While at this point its a bit early to be telling her that she can't talk to her exes, I think you should make it clear to her that if in the future your relationship becomes more serious and committed, the exes have to go. It's one thing if a girl you just started seeing is going out at nights around groups of guys or casually (not as in casual sex) encountering her exes. It's a totally another thing if you're married and she's leaving the home at night to see an ex as "just friends". At the end of the day, you have to be rational about things.
Also, just because she talked to you about "just being friends" with exes, doesn't mean that she's honest. Ok she was honest about having seen them. But how do you know she was honest about what she was doing during that time? She might have only told you to have a cover in case you found out from someone else that she was spending time with an ex. She could have told you to feel less guilty. She could have told you because while now, she's doing nothing, but at the same time, each of her exes that she's seeing right now, is an option for her, and she's keeping her options open. Tempting ones, because if they weren't, she wouldn't be seeing them after a breakup. It could be a number of things. I have female friends that tell me everything (probably more than they tell their girl friends...) and I have a good look in to their minds. I know girls that tell their BFs totally honestly, that they're going to see friend X. Then going out to bars with friend X and sucking his dick later that night. The best way to deal with this, is get involved very slowly, and only as slow as your trust builds. Don't "give your heart" to someone you've been with for a couple months, and make sure that even if they do fuck you over at those early stages, that it won't cut you down from caring too much.
Before people call me paranoid, I say this to PUAs. Would you trust you, if you were a girl? Do you think if would be a good idea for your gf to trust you to be spending time alone with your exes? Would you trust someone with your past? Personally, I'd never date someone with my past. Why would I date someone who used tricks and games to get people in to bed/relationships, and couldn't seem to settle on one person? Hypocrisy? Sure. But at least I look out for myself.

Nearly all girls are friends with at least one ex, so what? If you were truely higher value then these guys then you wouldn't

My fiance still talks to an ex, he's a jobless guy who still lives with mummy, if she wants to cheat on me with him then i'd drive her up there

Dont even mention them unless you are very much prepared to dump her for it otherwise you will look like some insecure pussy