So i started seeing this girl around christmas. We fell for eachother pretty quick, more so her than me. We started dating around Valentine's day, despite being cautious early as she said she wasn't good in relationships. She was very needy, always told me not to go anywhere, said i was the best guy she'd met and that there's no way she could leave me, she's fallen that hard. Anyway around a month after dating, everything was at its peak, I really really liked her. Then in a split second one week, i noticed her becoming distant, it was bizzare, i knew something was up and she described it as "she has no idea what shes feeling, she just woke up one day and was like uhhh"

I went away a few days later and said i'd give her some space until i got back. The day before i came back i text her saying are you ready to talk and she said "yes but don't know if its what you want to hear". We text alot and she just wouldnt let me in and let me know what was going on, so i sent a message pretty much saying you want it over so ill give you that. Then she just did a complete backflip and said "We'll get back to where we were i promise."

For the next month i tried so hard to ressurect things, and on refelction i now know she put little to know effort in. I would always text her first, always go to her house to see her, and she would never do the vice versa. About 3 weeks ago we talked about it and she said she didn't know what her feelings were doing, said she had no energy to feel a complete attraction due to so much going on in her life uni, work etc. Then she ended it because she didn't want to lead me on, despite me saying i can wait as long as she tries, and she said she did try(absolute bullshit)...

Anyway i was in pretty bad shape, a week later she found out id discussed with her sister what i should do, and she got pretty upset, i've tried to ask to catch up and chat with her and she said she needed space and me not giving her that made her uncomfortable. At that point i realised that's what i needed to do.

For the last two weeks i have given her space, deleted her off facebook to avoid the temptation. Then today, this might seem pathetic and maybe i'm reading into it to much, but she likes my instagram photo... I decide to kind of ignore it, i noticed she uploaded a photo as well(possibly looking for me to like it). Anyway 2 hours later she unlikes my photo?!?!?

This girl wanted me to give her space and she pulls stunts like that, doing my head in. I still really like her, miss what we had cause it felt so special, and i still don't understand why it ended. I just don't know what to do, I just feel like i can't completely move on, i start too and she does things like that and it makes me want her back.

I guess the questions are, is she ever coming back? What do you think i should do? What do i do if she does come back?

She is very stubborn, but has a beautiful soul, just immature and doesn't know what she feels.

It sounds like she got what she wanted, and quickly got bored with it. Either you became really clingy, and/or she has BPD tendencies. Overly emotional girls never stay on one side of the emotion spectrum for long. You were definitely trying too hard to make it work. Best way to deal with her, is to completely remove any traces of her from your life. Remove her from instagrams, phone books, everything. cut all contact and find 3 other girls. If she ever comes back, make sure you're with another girl (or better, girls) by then so you won't have any way back. She's bad news for you and you should stay away whether she wants you that day or not. Because even if she comes back to you, she'll 180 on you every time she gets comfortable.

I know your probably right. I was clingy as well i know that, but she can't stay like that for ever, at some point she's got to allow herself time for her feelings to change and grow. Every girls feelings change like the seasons, she just doesn't realise that.

I also feel like, what if i dictated the relationship, I did this for the first 2-3 months of seeing her and she was head over heels, and i know for a fact if she came back and we were back on, i would be so much more cautious about how i approached it, and if she really did want me back she would try and make me feel comfortable again...

Sounds like a borderline personality to me. If that's true, there's absolutely nothing you can do about it. Having a BPD in your life is intoxicating and, of course, toxic. I've been there, what you wrote feels too familiar not to raise a flag.
Best way to deal with such a person is to remove her from your life. Period.
Anyway, you might want to google a bit about borderline personality disorder to see if she meets the criteria.
Here's a links to get you started:
signs-of-an-emotionally-manipulative-woman-vt87161.html

Do these types of girls know they're like this? She doesn't seem smart enough to employ something like that. I don't really understand the independence stuff either, but there is definitely some similarities.

Can these girls be changed, and if she comes back should i tell her this is exactly what shes like?

Yes they know, but they don't know why. Their minds are like an 8 years old, they lack maturity and are incapable of real love. You cannot change them.
Here are some documented articles about BPD:
http://www.primals.org/articles/hannig03.html
http://gettinbetter.com/articles.html
When I dumped my BPD, in december, I haven't heard about BPD, HPD, etc but I ran into a great article on SS that opened my eyes. Read from here "LESSON XXI: HOW TO IDENTIFY WHETHER A GIRL HAS BORDERLINE PERSONALITY DISORDER" see what you make of it: http://www.sosuave.net/forum/showthread ... 705&page=4
For me, this was an eye opener. PM me if you want.
Ask yourself this: a girl who really loves you will not mindfvck you the way this one does.

I have been there, I have done that. I've dated a BPD. Now, I don't know your girl. And I am very careful throwing the "crazy" label around, especially until there's been a diagnosis. BUT, assuming this girl really is BPD (which is fairly common. ~6% of women and ~5% of men have it), you should know the following: I've done the breakups(always from her side)/and (also always from her side) makeups. I'm generally a very dominant "alpha" type guy, whether I get the girl or lose her, but with this one (she was below average for looks compared to most girls I dated too), I lost myself. Turned in to a mangina. BPDs are masters of the craft of emotional manipulation. They use "soft" power through emotional manipulation. You can be an alpha that will let a tank roll over you before you budge, but it doesn't help with a BPD. They find the ways to your heart and they'll wring it like a rag. You always fall back in to old patterns. Always. As long as you love this girl at all, she will find ways to manipulate you. Unfortunately, that's just how it is. You might do it right for a little while, but the moment you get comfortable and slip up (you will slip up), she'll turn on you once again.

No. Never. In their mind they're just "lonely" "depressed" and "slightly emotional".
No intelligence needed. This isn't a chess game to them , they don't do this consciously. It comes from within, driven by emotions. Think of BPD as being a bad program that just issues commands (in the form of feelings). She just follows them.
There are claims that BPD has a reasonable remission rate about ~10 years after diagnosis. However, If you choose to try to stick around for 10 years, I'm telling you right now, that you will be finished as a man, and there is no chance the relationship would last that long anyways.
If she comes back, do NOT tell her any of this. It WILL create more needless drama, and hurt you more. Just tell her you're done. Or better yet, ignore her.

I've been doing some research and I see some definite similarities between this girl and what you have explained. However i know for a fact that in the past she has been on the receiving end of a break up... She has only ever had a relationship last as long as 5 months, and she said she didn't like them because someone always gets hurt. She never told me specific experiences, but when we broke up I told her i'd remove contact for a while to help me move on and she said she understood because that's what she did with guys who broke it off with her. A key factor of this whole disorder seems to be that these girls dictate and manipulate your feelings, which in turn makes it so they are always the ones that end the relationship, therefore i guess the next explanation i'm looking for is how did she go for 5 months and then be the one to get told it's over...

They don't always end the relationship. I ended mine because it felt toxic. I'm not going to kid you: these girls are addictive, once you drop them you have second thoughts, you might think you were wrong about her, but in fact you are not. I too was tempted to act on one of those weak moments.
If given the chance, they will destroy you and will love every moment of it. In their eyes you are the original abuser. And when they shut down as you stated in your original post, they actually try to protect themselves in the past from said abuser.
Simply move on and be strong. You're going to need all your strength when she will start calling you and wanting to get back together. You have to say no.
Just so you can see where I'm coming from, here's my story with my BPD: http://www.sosuave.net/forum/showthread ... ost2004142
Trust me, you're better off moving on to other chicks. Currently I'm banging a very sweet 8.5-9 HB and have never looked back.
A hot chick is the best remedy.

Often times they end relationships, and then come running back (if you don't chase them). If not, given enough time, and if they're not with an insecure/codependent guy, the guy eventually gets fed up with the madness and leaves, as you probably would, given 5 months with this girl, all the while she'd be trying to cling on at any cost, desperately trying to cling on. The girl then frames herself as the victim and as the forsaken one, pretty much no matter how it ended.

You have to learn how to put an end in that situation. She didn’t know exactly how she feels about you? That’s awkward. It seems like she’s just playing with you. You don’t have to waste your time with this kind of girl. It makes you crazy. Forget her, and find someone that is better than her.

I know what you guys are saying, and while i think it's all true, i still have that sense of doubt. I know that's my feelings telling me that too, but god i've never felt so strong about a girl before, and it was all good for 3 out of the 4 months, then nek minnut its over. I think this BPD thing is a definite possibility. A very good chance it could be true, but like someone said it's very extreme to be throwing that label around too much, so i almost would rather get destroyed by it again if she did come back, rather than not trying and never knowing, at least if it happened again i would know for sure, I'm hurting enough now i feel like i can be hurt again...

What do people think about this, i know the general view is stay away due to your previous experiences, but you all seem to say you went back and paid the price, think about me in that same position, do you think theres any chance at all if i go back things would be like they were the first 3 months, an ending is likely to be inevitable, but those times were so good, i would kill for it again... I'm in such a confused state of mind, but i know where my feelings lie, and i know its dangerous that that's how they lie, but i just overthink things and i feel like if i didn't try and cut her out, i'd think it over so much of what could of been it would drive me crazy....

Also what are even the possibilities of this even happening, should i be preparing myself for such situation, what percentage of girls like this do come back?

42,732221422388962 %

Honestly, dude, I feel bad for you, because I know how it feels to be with a borderline. My advice to you is, do NOT hold your breath for her to come back. Carry on as if she never will. In this particular case, even if she does come back, you would be doing yourself a great disservice by getting back together. A psychiatrist I sat next to on a plane told me once, that borderlines are addictive like a drug. They idolize you like no normal girl would in the good times, then they demonize and walk on you in the bad times. You get addicted to the idolization, and like with a drug, you're willing to take more and more shit for less and less of the "pleasant" hits. Eventually it becomes toxic and all you ever experience is the bad, and just hoping that she'll revert to the sweet girl you once knew, but it won't happen.
I'm sorry dude, its a horrible situation to be in, but you have to move on without her no matter what.
Good luck.