Age: 30
Location: Somewhere in the Middle East
Occupation: Web Development
PUA Experience: None.

I'm just a regular guy in a dating hell hole, but occasionally i get some chances.. and somehow it always fucks up.

Here's what happened:

Decent looking older woman (36), lives close to my friends, occasionally hangs out with us.

She's telling my friends (married couple) all about how she just wants to get laid, has no interest in monogamy, etc. etc. And she shows an interest in me, to my friends.. obviously, this is intended to get back to me..

She's hard to read, or maybe i just don't know how, but I don't make a move, I simply talk to her the few times we run into each other, like normal folk. I ask questions, she answers, I do my best not to show interest, because frankly, i don't even know if i want to be bothered.

Then one day I say fuck it. If she's all about "having fun" then I'm going to be unnaturally direct. I sent her a text. I said "let's skip dinner this weekend, and get a room. So and so hotel is nice i hear, and it has so and so bar that we can go to".

An hour and half later, she responds. "I'm busy this weekend, how about the next?".

Cool, whatever. I reply "I'm cool with that. (and this is where i lay the grounds to my own fuck up) I imagine you're worth the wait".

Sometimes I wish i can kick myself in the ass.

Anyway, I find out later that she really liked my forwardness and was all giddy and excited. That weekend (the one she is says she's busy), she asks if i'm going to a friends gallery event. I said yeah, I always go to her events. She says she wants to talk to me. Ominous.

At the event, she hints she wants a drink, so i take her to a bar in the closest hotel. We flirt, she tells me the reason she wanted to talk was to tell me that a) she doesn't want monogamy (good), and b) she is seeing someone at the same time (could care less, but that's why she's busy that weekend. she's seeing him the following day). She spends the whole fucking time over three drinks staring at me. We almost get a room, but as neither one of us has condoms (i think that was a test as she also tells me what panties she's wearing), i make the decision to wait. Why? because she seemed really fucking indecisive, I didn't want to push and look like a desperate fool. Mistake no. 2.

During the week, we barely contact each other.. then three days before our weekend, she tells me (not asks) that she is going to the party another friend of ours is holding that weekend. She says that she hopes i will be there, and that we should hang out again before we get a room.

Fuck that. I tell her I'm not interested in the party and that we will just have to hang out another time. Then I leave it at that. no contact since (that was yesterday)..

I don't know if I even want some advice. Maybe i just want to vent a little to people who can read the above situation and nod their heads with understanding.

But seriously what the fuck?! All she's been saying to my friends, to me, is that she doesn't want monogamy and wants to have fun. Why the fuck is she now giving me shit-tests and trying to make this monkey dance?! Is she trying to make me earn it by going to this party and hanging around like some sort of fucking beta orbiter?!

Fuck that.

My friends think I'm an idiot for not going to the party and are trying to change my mind. I'm too pissed off to care.

For once, I wish I can meet a straightforward woman.

Seems to me like you've seriously misjudged the situation here. The whole drinks hotel panties thing, that was you're shit test, which by sound the sounds of things you passed by the skin of your teeth. The weekend fuck meet was still on, the party isn't a shit test it was an IOI. Christ sake, she said she hopes to see at a party that a mutual friends is having. She probably didn't ask you to go because she assumed you were going anyway.

The way I see it, she figured it was unavoidable that you'd bump into each other before that weekend, so took as a chance to be soical with you. You've not completely fucked this up yet though, for the love of God go to that party, be charming as fuck to her. You don't need to follow her around all night, just be cool hang out with some of you're friends, and if you don't wanna be there all night then duck out early. You have it on a plate here mate, the game is as won. Don't neg her or anything, just make her feel comfortable around you by generally being pleasent. Remember she doesn't owe you shit whether she's agreed to meet up for a fuck or not. You're getting a free one here mate, all you have to do is not freak her out or piss her off.

_________________
Be a realist; Demand the Impossible.

I agree with this post.

lmao this post is awesome. She's a tester,justifier,realist. Basic strategy is non chalant non neediness. But you also have to step up to the plate when the time comes. There are so many ways you could land it.

With her type I might say. "Let's split up so people buy us more drinks, we'll meet up later" lol but that's my craziness.

How so? she didn't or did want me to get a room that night? I'm confused by how "i passed by the skin of my teeth"
The party was mentioned while at the hotel having drinks.. I made mention that i had no interest in that party, even then. Everyone who knows me knows I hate that fucking scene.
The party is on a friday (weekends are friday, saturday here). I'm not exactly gonna be getting a room with this chick on a saturday.. she wakes up at 6 on sunday for her job.. she's wasting my time in other words.

The point is.. I DON'T want to go to the party. I fucking hate that shit. Bullshit music, Dumbass small-talk, fake fucking smiles and stupid drunk people.. and I'm gonna be spending the whole night dancing around this girl? waiting for an indicator that i can take her someplace?!

I disagree with your assessment. The party is a shit test. she wants to see HOW FAR I WILL GO to be with her. She wants me to EARN it.

and that after spending her whole time at the drinks thing staring at me like all she wanted was my cock in her mouth right then and there..

Fuck that. The whole IDEA was NON-MONOGAMY, and now we are going on a fucking date?! fuck that.

I think she is either fucking with me, or hiding deeper feelings.. either way, wrong way to go about it.

Maybe I'm just too MGTOW to be PUA.

She did, or at least wanted to see if you had the stones to. You said she told her friends she liked your forwardness, so she was testing to see if it was a one off. You passed (initially) because you were up for up for it, but no condoms? Sounds to her like an excuse. Honestly mate I would've got the room told her to wait there 5 minutes and ran and got some. Although having said that I don't know how easy they are to get in the Middle East so I guess that might have affected the situaiton.
How far you will go? Dude its a party, you're not going to war. Most people like them. If you don't like them, believe me I get that, I'd go to a club over a party anyday of the week. Non-monogamy doesn't mean you never see each other it means you're not exclusive. Which is why she's seeing over dudes. But you always have to earn it, that's what I meant when I said she doesn't owe you shit. Clearly she likes your directness, so call her tell her you'll see her at the party, but you're booking the room for afterwards. Trust me, if anything it'll make the sex better if its not just an awkward meet up. She's not testing you at all I don't think, quite the opposite she's trying to be nice and include you in her social life. It's not a date because you're not going to the party together, it's common courtesy so that you just don't bump into each other randomly.

_________________
Be a realist; Demand the Impossible.

We went back and forth about the room... in between her telling me what panties she was wearing, and telling me she hasn't shaved her legs (then inviting me to feel them. I did but didn't linger)... You right, we should have gotten a room that night, but she was so indecisive, I felt its better I didn't push. We made a joke about how "its not my weekend".. and as for condoms, they're in every coldstore here, so thats not an issue, she even said at one point, I don't want to walk around looking for them, to which I replied, no, you will just sit in the room and wait for me... in hindsight, that is exactly what I should have done.
I've already told her i wasn't going.. but.. i'm leaning toward you being right.. now i have to gracefully "tell her i will be there, and that i'm booking the room for afterwards"... I'll probably just show up, and see what happens..

fuck, why am i not excited about this at all..

Yeah as one of the other guys said, be nonchalant about it, make it look like some other kind of appiontment fell through or something. Don't worry about not being excited, use that for your state, be cool and collected at the party, like this kinda situation happens to you all the time. It's a terrible cliche but imagine you're James Bond or something haha

_________________
Be a realist; Demand the Impossible.

Ok.. we'll see what happens. Thanks for your advice.

Hey obmon,

I absolutely understand your situation because I have been there myself which you can check out on my blog below. Anyway, all I can suggest is that you simply learn from this experience and move on.

And, the lesson learned here is that we guys should never be so picky or selective when a girl or a woman is showing an obvious interest in having sex with us because life is too short.

I am telling you all this because I am now 39 and have already missed so many sex opportunities with the girls and women who were not only showing an obvious interest in me BUT were also playfully stalking me and even publicly pinching my ass.

Thanks for sharing this with us because it's always good to share different experiences with others at mutual benefits.

Finally, just try to remember the basics of attraction that teaches us that women are naturally very passive when it comes to the subject of getting laid.

To your amazing successes with women!

Bruno

_________________
FREE Report: "From False Passion For Picking Up Women Through Sexual Addiction To Redemption"

I slept with her.

The night before that happened went exactly as i thought it would.. she was drunk.. awkward.. wanted PDA.. and I felt like i was following her around all damn night..

but, I slept with her..

It was so-so.

Next?

lol good job buddy. She is that tester/justifier combo that tests men. All you basically did was held in there and stayed calm the whole way through. You've got about %25 of women handled right there. You could simply break it down into two types. Girls like her that you have to play it cool or her shy opposite where you do the opposite and show her some passion and break through the resistance. The reason you can be sure to escalate with a shy girl is because if she wasn't interested she would never talk to you. Where as the wilder,testing type are still testing the waters right up until you have them naked.