I've been in the game for awhile but I've never met any girl like the one in this post. Our relationship has developed to the point where I think I love her. I'm very confused here. I've never had nor wanted a girlfriend before, but it's something I think I'm ready for now. Also maybe I have oneitis but even after hooking up with other girls my mind just keeps coming back to this one. Anyway, here's the deal...


I've been in a relationship with this girl for the past 4-5 months. We've been having sex once or twice a week for the past 1-1.5 months. We get along great, and meet up and do things other than just fuck. I'd like to start having an exclusive relationship with her. I could go on and on and write about stuff, but I think I'm just going to briefly list some thoughts and facts about our relationship so you guys can get a better idea of my situation.


- I get a sense that she is very attached to me emotionally. I can see it in her eyes when she looks into mine, feel it in the way she clings to me when we hug or cuddle.
- The sex is amazing (for both of us)
- We get along extremely well
- She chases me more than I chase her. I try not to initiate contact with her too often, but everyday I seem to get a text or MSN message from her. From here it's usually me setting up some sort of meetup.
- She has alot of other guy friends. One of whom I think might be in a similar situation as myself but is behind me in terms of progress with her. He lives much closer to her and can see her alot more frequently. I fear that he may win this "battle" unless I can get her into a girlfriend/boyfriend relationship. This is probably one of my biggest reasons for trying to step up our relationship. I know this sounds incredibly AFC, but I'd hate to lose an opportunity to somebody else just because I never took the risk.


I've been trying my best not to bring up the topic of a more serious relationship because I think it comes off as needy and will make me a ton less attractive in her mind. I'm sick of waiting for her to say something though (although, she did hint at something last time I was with her. We were joking around talking about how I'd been sleeping with one of my elderly professors to get an A and had ended up falling in love and having a relationship with her. She said "So I guess I have some competition". This probably means nothing, just something I noticed). We've been sexually active together for over a month though and I'm tired of waiting for her to open up to me. If she doesn't want an exclusive relationship, fine. I just need to know. Right now I feel like I may regret this in the future if I just don't bite the bullet and take a risk for once. A moment of rejection vs months of heartache and curiosity? I can deal with that.

My only problem would be...If I do decide to speak to her about our relationship, I have no idea how to bring it up. As I said I've never had a gf before and have zero relationship experience beyond fuck buddy. What's a good line to use in order to open up such a discussion? More importantly, when would be a good time to use it? After sex? When sex isn't involved at all?

Thanks for the advice.

this is tough. unfortunately the expertise of a PUA is not in the post-seduction category.


I think that it is fine to come out and talk about taking the relationship further. the key is to not do it in a creepy or aggressive way. saying to her "there is something really important i think we should talk about" is probobly not a good way to do this. it is creepy and very needy.

however, the next time that you are in a real moment with her, and she is emotionally receptive to the discussion. very cooly talk about this. you can be sweet and romantic even, just not needy.


that's the best i've got, hope it helps. and get some more opinions before closing the deal.

good luck man, hope it works out

Two possibilities:

1) She's just as afraid to bring up the relationship topic as you. She's afraid she'll scare you off with the LTR talk.

2) She sees you as FB material only.

Personally, I think it's far more likely it's 1), especially if she is younger. Bring up the topic of being seduced by the elderly professor again. Say to her "What WOULD you do if she seduced me and ran away with me?", be as serious as you can when you say this, then go based off of her answer. Basically let her know you're considering an LTR.

The other way is to be blunt and direct. Say "you should ask to be my girlfriend." Get her to qualify by saying why she would make a good girlfriend. If she plays along, you know you're golden. If she brushes it off or acts sarcastic, say "well who said I was going to say 'yes'?".

Bottom line is, you two should agree on your respective roles in your relationship.

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Can you see yourself spending your life with her, do you truly respect her, would you treat her well, does she feel the same way? Find these things out, if you can say yes to all of them then it might be worth going AFC. If not, she might be a great MLTR.

Ezo

I agree with Roads on this one. But from what I have read, Yes, you are in love with this girl. With that being said, you need to be bluntly straight forward of your feelings and where you want this relationship to go. Now if she is mature to understand that level of a relationship then ask her what her take is on it. Just ask her and you will know when she replies..Trust me, you will...

Thanks for the advice guys

Two questions:

1) When should I bring this stuff up? In bed? While eating dinner or something?

2) Let's say she wans to remain single. Would this make our current relationship extremely awkward or am I just overthinking things?

Honestly, you over thinking things. Relax, just brathe, and roll with it..