Thinking too much. That is the main problem I see in the community. What causes AA? Thinking too much. How much do you think a natural thinks about what he is doing? Does Brad Pitt think about what he is about to say before he approaches, or does he just do it. You think you need crutches to approach? Sure those training wheels can help you out, but eventually you reach a point where you should just bash those things off and use the mother fn bike. If you walk up having preplanned your approach your mind is limited to set words, and set things to say. You cannot have the creative responses that truly help you grow as person. All thinking should be done before you even think about approaching. Think at home, when you are out its game time. Establish the mindsets you need to be successful before you are out because when you are out it is not time to think, but time to do. It's the men of action that truly get success in their endeavors in this world. You are a successful man. You have already come further in improving yourself than most men in this world have just by being on a forum such as this. I know it is extremely difficult to think about nothing when approaching, so if you can't help but to think then think about your breathing. Breath in and out slowly focusing only on that. You may feel a strong fear come over you which is fine even good. Why? Fear is a form of mental energy. What causes a good interaction? I fully relaxed and fully energetic approach. You have everything you need to open every woman you are interested easily by using the factors that you would normally see as weighing against you in a positive manner, and as things that instead... help you.

You're right in that you have to just DO IT. You prepare mentally at home, then get out there and just do it.

i dunno about this...

if i went out saw an HB i wanted to aproach and did not think about what i was going to open with, follow up with, some routines and even a close routine i would be alllllll AFC

i would go up say hey! whats up!and thats it...

meybe when you are more expreienced you can go out and not think about anything cuz all the openers and routines you can make up on spot

i guess im not at that level yet...


but if i went out unprepared... omg i would just die!

you will only get rejected if you foresee rejection. If you foresee success then success will come to you naturally. The key to approaching with a blank mind is once you do make it to the girl completely observe the moment, which she is only a small part of. With the millions of stimulus in any environment you are in there are millions of ways to open. If I let my subconscious think instead of consciously thinking about what I am going to say before I approach my openers are more creative, more spontaneous, more genuine, and more successful. I am able to totally think from my core which has been highly successful for me. Sure using routines and premade openers can be very useful, but you should also work on the skill of spontaneousness because a good pickup is spontaneous. Having this spontanaity will make meeting and attracting women not just something you do, but something you are.

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Self help.. that's mental masterbation. Self Destruction.. now we're getting somewhere!
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While I praise anybody with the ability to spontaneously open, attract and close without running any material, I believe that anybody claiming a 100% natural approach is full of shit.

Swinggcat's "Demistifying Charisma" is probably the neatest 6-page piece of writing on the ethics of routines, but let me try and compress the crux of the argument: evey socialized person runs canned material. Difference is, they're probably not aware of it.

I love routines for two reasons: first, they provide you with the comfort that even if you blank, you can just stack run some canned material until you unblock. They're also amazing for cutting off useless conversation threads. I agree that with experience, blanking and useless threads will probably be less and less of an issue, but there is a second reason for my fascination with routines.

They work. They became so popular because they are powerful. They are simple gambits packed with DHV, fun and just 'standing out from the crowd'. If delivered properly, the simplest stuff can get a set hooked. The 'best friends test' always gets them interested, there's no way in hell a set can give a bad response to it.

So routines are not just training wheels for you're bicycle. I would say they're the engine that turns your bike into a motorcycle, but I find the whole bike allegory... cheesy to say the least.

Just to clarify - I don't just run canned material all the time. I work on my conversational skills as well, but it's so much easier when you have a one-size-fits-all routine you can just run whenever you think you may be losing the set.

I really value what you said about thinking about what you're gonna say at home and just DOING IT (thank you Nike) without thinking. That is the attitude that gets things done.

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On we plough.

Love,

Ace