You get the very short version ☺

Me: 24y HB: 27y – if I'm a 10 so she an 8.

I have now been dating this girl for nearly 3 months. We have so far agreed to keep it secret.

1. Because she had a boyfriend for the first month we were dating. (they have been together for 8 years)
2. Because we work together, and I've been with her boss.
3. I suck at relationships, I like girls too much..

She's a little "old fashioned" and there have to go some time, before she can go publicly with another - which I understand.

The thing is that she still lives in his apartment (he lives with his parents). She is almost two months after they broke up very ”hush hush” about the breakup. She says it "confidential" if people ask, but, for example, they have not broke up on Facebook yet.

Can feel my patience is running out. For me when I look at it from the outside, it looks as if she has not really left him yet, and she keeps me hanging. But I don’t feel it's like that when I'm with her…

And she has not told a soul that she been seeing another. Zero!

Any idea how I get it pushed in the right direction? - making it officially

Thanks for reading

Wow you really need to look at who your dating, she "started" a relationship with you while she's still in a relationship and continually tells you not to talk about your relationship to other people. To be honest from my point of view your definitely the guy on the side if she really broke up with her bf or even they were talking about it they would've took off the status(I'm sure your "girl" is very active on fb so there's no excuse). Something that's a really bad red flag about you is that you say you like girls too much which means you get oneitis. You need to game other girls man you need to have options it only betters your game, when your only talking to one girl you put everything on one girl which means your overthinking EVERYTHING. My advice to you game other girls and make this chick who your in a "relationship" with break her silent rule because she's afraid of losing you.

I've been in the same situation as you. Trust me, she's enjoying both of you and will not leave him until you tell her to come back when she moved out. There is NO way you can convince her by being with her, even if you had the skills of the "best boyfriend in the world". Personally, I think she's trouble and not worth your time, but if you really want her to leave him for you, that's the only way to do it:

Tell her you can see she's not over him and that she needs to figure out what she wants. Basically break up with her, but DON'T give her an ultimatum. Make sure she understands that you are looking for a proper relationship without any obstacles, and that she's not ready to be with you.
Under no circumstances let her convince you that she's "not in love with him", "not sleeping with him", "just staying to give him comfort" and all this bullshit.

After that you need to break off all contact, do NOT contact her in ANY way until you hear from her again. This really works, it shows her that you are a man of high value and morals. The only problem I can see is that you might not be strong enough to do it. It takes a lot of self control...




I tell you how it went in my case: Did the same thing, then no contact for 1 month. After that she told me she's definitely moving out. I said ok, we started hooking up again, but she was just stringing me along again (for months and months, my mistake to give in so quickly). So I repeated the process and did not answer her anymore, ignored call and texts. She finally moved out of his place after a month of no contact. By that time I had already figured out that she's trouble and stayed away...

So really go NO CONTACT and if she starts contacting you, ask her if she moved out yet. If not, back to no contact.
It's your life bro, don't let anyone waste it!! Good luck!

This. Chick uses her moral dilemma "I'm old fashioned" and god knows what to keep you on the hook like a little fishy while she scouts around.

I know - but the relationship was dead and she was certainly not getting the attention she needed, so I took at the chance. in my eyes she is somewhat of a security junkie (8 years, it insanely long time, she is only 27y) she is not the unfaithful type - and she’s not being unfaithful with others.

What I meant by I "like girls to much" I'm typically not one to hold on to one, and she knows it. If I start to game other girls, I lose control of it ... and if she finds out I'm with someone else, then it's over.

By the way – she will moved home to her parents on Wednesday ☺

At the moment, I take it all very quietly, not pushing her to nothing, let her write to me, etc.
Should I just continue that way? .. I feel that i’m the little fishy on the hook…

The "no contact" will not work because we are colleagues..

Really go back and look at your posts. She was living with a dude she claimed she wasn't in a relationship with but still had him in her relationship with her on social media. Be honest do you really think she has been doing nothing with him the whole time she's been seeing you? That's very unlikely. To be simple you have oneitis as your scared of her breaking up with you(your to emotionally attached). Who cares if she breaks up with you, you've been strung along by a girl who doesn't want it known that you "go out", I'm sure you could find a better girl anyways. Either you game other girls and make her break her rule or you'll continue to be her bitch.

My opinion:
This girl wants to fuck you and keep you around while she finds someone else. The "old fashioned" comment is bullshit, just an excuse.
You say that if you start gaming girls then if she finds out it's over. Why exactly ? She's the one who doesn't want to make it official so you have all the right to game other girls. Which I think you should.

What AFC Max tells you is the same thing I told you. It is true. Listen to it.

He won't to bad oneitis