Girlfriend wants space because depressed



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PostPosted: Thu Apr 18, 2013 9:35 pm 
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I've been dating this HB7 for about 5 months now. She's extremely loyal and trustworthy and very honest. Even when I don't really want to hear it. But I've been away for a brief time at school and it's been a long distance thing until two weeks from now when I move back. Things were going great with us but things were going really shi**y with her personal life, ie jobs, friends moving, family cancelling etc. and so randomly during a good conversation one day she says she thinks we shouldn't see each other anymore. When I asked why she couldn't really give me an answer other than she woke up that morning and didn't feel like she was in love with me anymore.
When I got in her face, not beta wise just discussion wise (she prides herself on being logical) that she might just be rash and depressed and blaming me and that she does have a history of running when she gets scared, she paused and changed her mind, saying she should really think it over and that when I get back into town in two weeks I should call her and we'd go out to dinner and talk about it.
I don't think she'd do this just to do it in person because we were skyping anyways. But I don't know what she's thinking. I do know she's getting scared and depressed about her life, but she has been exceptionally affectionate to me. Perhaps I've been too much there. Should I wait the full two weeks and just call her when I get back?
I'm gonna make sure my Facebook is blown up with all kinds of things with me and other hot girls so she knows I'm not just gonna sit here and twiddle my thumbs. Do you think she'll contact me before the two weeks are up?
She's broken up with me before, and I said goodbye and she contacted me within a week. And we broke up another time and she contacted me within two days. It's been two days now. But this time she said she wanted a specific amount of time to think not just we're done. It was let me think about it. So idk what to do. I can usually tell when a relationship is going southward, but I think it was the opposite, it was getting serious and that's why she felt like bailing.
Thoughts?


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PostPosted: Thu Apr 18, 2013 9:48 pm 
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A few other things I noticed were strange was she ended the conversation by saying "I'll talk to you in two weeks, I love you". She also listened and heard me out, which she's never ever done in any conversation we have. She always knows best she feels.
Also she called me the greatest thing to ever happen in her life. Just last week she had a pizzeria special deliver me a pizza with a heart made of the toppings. She also got inebriated and went on and on about wanting to marry me.
None of this suggest her pulling away. So it really did come out of left field.


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PostPosted: Thu Apr 18, 2013 10:27 pm 
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I suspect there is another reason for it. Not just depression etc, that's a convenient scapegoat for her to use.


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PostPosted: Thu Apr 18, 2013 11:33 pm 
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Then why does she want time to think about it? And what should my actions be?


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PostPosted: Fri Apr 19, 2013 12:10 am 
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read like the first 3 sentences.................walk away ... move on.


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PostPosted: Fri Apr 19, 2013 12:22 am 
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As my other posts will show, I tend to be really direct in this kind of situation (you seem to have this down). Here's what I would do... see if it fits for you.

I would tell her that I think we need to take some time off. I would tell her I think she's wonderful (because it really sounds like she is in many ways) but that she's unclear about things and I want a girlfriend who's with me 100%.

I'd say something like "I'm not going to respond to any communication for a while, about a month probably. Write me back after that month has gone by and you've gotten things clear in your mind and heart. I want you in my life, but I don't want you there if you're only half with me. We both deserve better".

I wouldn't put any pictures of you making out with other girls on FB, though pictures of you doing stuff with hot women would be fine (like a hiking group picture, maybe a party picture where you're all just casual and smiling) but nothing that suggests you're actually hooking up. Even if you are. She doesn't need to know whether you're actually getting together, but if she sees you in the company of other women she'll wonder.

I would hold to the one month thing. Or make it two weeks if you think that's extreme. You can do it nicely, but do it.

She may in fact be feeling depressed... her behavior does seem to give that vibe. Maybe tell her "Baby, I want to be there for you if you're feeling depressed, but in order to support you as your boyfriend I have to know you're actually going to go the distance with me."

My $.02. Cheers, ~50

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PostPosted: Fri Apr 19, 2013 6:13 am 
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That sounds like a good idea however I don't want to contact her and ruin the two weeks we're headed towards. But a question, if I see like a picture of her laughing online I wonder if it means she's happy to be rid of me or not? Like logically if she missed me she wouldn't be smiling and having a good time right? Idk maybe I'm reading too much into it


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PostPosted: Fri Apr 19, 2013 11:57 am 
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I suspect there is another reason for it. Not just depression etc, that's a convenient scapegoat for her to use.
True either way if I was the OP I'd move on


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PostPosted: Fri Apr 19, 2013 12:06 pm 
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Why?


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PostPosted: Fri Apr 19, 2013 2:23 pm 
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Why?
Because her depression comes from the huge amount of guilt she is carrying, after having some other dudes dick in her.

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PostPosted: Fri Apr 19, 2013 2:30 pm 
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That sounds like a good idea however I don't want to contact her and ruin the two weeks we're headed towards. But a question, if I see like a picture of her laughing online I wonder if it means she's happy to be rid of me or not? Like logically if she missed me she wouldn't be smiling and having a good time right? Idk maybe I'm reading too much into it
Lothario has an excellent slogan: GOFTW (get out and f*ck ten women). Do that and don't worry about this one for a while... let her do what she wants, contact her after the two weeks (or whatever) and see how she's doing, but let her live her life while you live yours: having sex with other women. Doesn't have to be 10, but be out there meeting other girls. Don't let this one have a hold on your balls!

And enjoy yourself!

Cheers, ~50

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PostPosted: Fri Apr 19, 2013 6:37 pm 
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Quote:
Quote:
Why?
Because her depression comes from the huge amount of guilt she is carrying, after having some other dudes dick in her.

I know this is b.s.


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PostPosted: Fri Apr 19, 2013 7:06 pm 
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Quote:
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Why?
Because her depression comes from the huge amount of guilt she is carrying, after having some other dudes dick in her.

I know this is b.s.
You don't watch her 24/7. This is the 3rd time she's broken up with you. Do you really think she didn't fuck some other dude while you guys were broken up?


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PostPosted: Fri Apr 19, 2013 7:22 pm 
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Quote:
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Because her depression comes from the huge amount of guilt she is carrying, after having some other dudes dick in her.

I know this is b.s.
You don't watch her 24/7. This is the 3rd time she's broken up with you. Do you really think she didn't fuck some other dude while you guys were broken up?
Of course you could ask her, and likely the answer will be NO.

But flip over your Magic 8 Ball you'll get:

Signs point to yes.
Yes.
Without a doubt.
As I see it, yes.
You may rely on it.
Outlook not so good.
It is decidedly so.
Better not tell you now.
Yes - definitely.
It is certain.
Most likely.

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PostPosted: Fri Apr 19, 2013 7:44 pm 
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Quote:
Quote:
Why?
Because her depression comes from the huge amount of guilt she is carrying, after having some other dudes dick in her.

I know this is b.s.
Actually, it's a very accurate, logical assessment based on your first thread post. The signs are too obvious to say otherwise.

Uhm, yeah. I've fucked several girls who broke up with their boyfriends as well as those who are still in relationships but plan to break up soon--and those who want to keep their relationships while still fucking other dudes on the side.

Welcome to the real world.

:twisted:

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