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So with the help of the Community I bagged this chick that had previously friend zoned me.
Weve banged a few times, now for a couple weeks its graduated to holding hands pecks and texting/talking all day.
BUT we havent fucked in a couple weeks, but having been hanging out more often. She bi and says shes more attracted to girls (like that matters to an alpha like me) but she dropped the: "I dont think I should have sex for awhile, my head is a mess right now". But wants to fan me and feed me berries for helping her move some stuff.
Not sure what to do. I know she's falling for me more and more but where the hell did the sex go?
Like just up moved to Cuba.
Am I overeacting and should role reverse here like she's the one who really wants it.
Or should I freeze her and see other chicks. P.S. I know she cares if I see other girls, but knows I have that freedom
This is a fascinating situation... I've never had a woman back away from sex after it got good between us. So, never having been in your shoes, I can only speculate as to what might be effective.
I think the choice has to be yours here... as in all situations with women, you have to take the lead, having decided what you want and then doing what you need to get it. Lothario's advice at
why-you-need-to-submit-to-gftow-vt160319.html seems to me to really apply to your situation. You need to have the emotional distance from this woman in order to be able to think about how well she really suits you for a longer-term thing. ANY woman will fan you and feed you berries if she's enough into you, and one thing you'll learn about women the more you get to know is how tremendously generous they can be if they're in love. So don't put this one up on a pedestal (and you can tell me this same thing when *I* get hooked on a girl and can't think about anything, lol...)
I am a very direct person, so I would probably take her to a cafe or a park for a little chat, and I would lay out what I want from the relationship. I would say something like "Look, I think you're a fabulous woman, I respect you and I care about you, and I absolutely go nuts for you when we make love. But I am looking for a very specific type of relationship... not just friends, I want the whole package..." and describe what you want here. "I understand you feel attracted to women, and you're not feeling clear about our relationship, so I want you to take the time, alone, to sort things out. We won't see each other for a while, and I'll be dating other women, but there will always be a special place for you if you decide you want to be in a serious relationship with me." Etc. I'd be very nice about it, gentle even, but with a steely determination that I wouldn't let her shake, not even if she cries (I've gotten to where I can deal with tears).
Of course, this is all dependent on your actually wanting a LTR with this girl... if all you want is FWB, more sex, it sounds like it will be difficult to obtain, and you'd probably end up shitting on her emotions if you did so, since she's clearly very conflicted inside. So I'd pass on the sex for now and offer her the carrot of a complete, committed relationship, provided she can get through her conflicts and make herself available to you and only you.
Well, that's my $.50 ... if you think I'm full of it I won't mind
Cheers, ~50
CHAT