April 14, 2013

1> I re-F-closed my #1 last night. It's been a while.

2> Me and my pal went to the mall yesterday to look for some shirts and HB's. We found neither. There was one HB working at sears that looked to be a 7 from the distance but as we got closer she was a definite no-go. It went downhill from there. I was in a bit of a sarging mode too. Oh well.

3> After the mall we took the boat around to the fuel docks and decided to go for a cruise over around the island. Seemed like a logical place to see some HB's in bikinis. Really didn't see much at all. I told my friend it is pretty pathetic that I have a decent boat and yet it seems like there are never any bikini HB's on board (the kind of HB's that look good in a bikini and aren't afraid to prove it). Later that evening the lady from the boat next to mine said the same thing. She said where are the girls? I said I wish I knew!

4> oh well

April 16, 2013

After F-Closing #1 early sunday morning, I had #2 texting me Sunday afternoon wanting to come over that evening after work. She F-closed me when she arrived at 5:30pm. Having such close timing between the two really opens your eyes to the things you like and dislike about a particular HB. You can easily make yourself blind to the dislikes if one-itus takes hold. F-Closing two in the same day highlights the things you like/dislike. And as a 41 yr old semi-recent divorcee, it makes you feel 20 years younger! LOL

Anyway it is a good process for reminding yourself that you need to keep searching for Miss Better.

I'm still flirting with the 24 year old. Basically I am being more and more naughty with the flirting subject matter. She's had/has some piercings and started to tell me about something but cut herself off. I'm thinking something south of the neck. I told her she was a bad girl and I like that. She smiled and giggled. She is loosening up as well. I was shocked at her sailor's tongue today. Lot of F-Bombs. I keep the interactions short but fun. I usually use walk off mid sentence and don't follow up with her for days. She seems intrigued but she is hard to read. I don't care what comes of it with her.

Sadly no new interactions to report at this time. Thursday is officially one month that I have been working out 2x per week. We are going to step it up to 3x a week in May. I am feeling better and have a slightly increased libido so far.

Well it has been an extremely disturbing week. There is a possibility the following was all a misunderstanding by me, but I'm pretty certain things are just as screwed up as I'm about to describe.

Some months ago I posted about a part time waitress that works in the medical billing industry by day. She was friendly with my ex and myself when we'd go in for dinner. I always found her very attractive and she seems pretty cool. So one day at the end of my marriage I go in there to eat with my stepdaughter. She ends up being our waitress and asked where my (now) ex was. I explained the situation and she immediately invited me to come in on Tuesday night to talk about it. I did show up Tuesday but she had been rescheduled and was not working. A couple of weeks later I did catch her and she immediately took over my table. This would have been July 2012. Over the course of the next few months, my 1 - 2 visits a week (for the past 20+ years) always seemed to end up with her coming to my table and sitting to talk for up to 20 mins if it was slow enough. We shall call her JENNA for this post. Before long I had two other HB's that worked there doing the same. I FB closed one of those and she is still on my FB. I noticed in our talks two things:

1. Jenna loves to hear herself talk and it became annoying to me that I couldn't seem to have much input in our conversations. No chance of this girl working out for a LTR.

2. Jenna seemed to have problems with her fiance at home and they were growing by the week. A definitely chance of FWB or at least good friends to hook up with her other friends.

Towards December I strolled in there with my #2 and she took our table. Jenna looked very depressed and upon inquiry informed me that they had split up. I FB closed her on the spot in front of #2. About three days later I sent her a message on FB telling her we should have a drink some time and share breakup stories or something to that effect. Not a request for a date or otherwise, just more of a feeler. She waited 24 hrs to respond back, and said that they where trying to work things out. I replied back that this sounded like a smart thing to do because they each have a kid of their own. That is the last conversation we had outside of work.

After the holidays I went in a few times alone and with friends/#2 but didn't see her working. Finally a month later I was in with #2 and she took our table. Very friendly as usual and stated that they were now looking for a house to rent together. To me it sounded like things were going great for them and I was happy for her. Over the next month I didn't see her working except one time, during which she didn't see me because of the area I was seated in. I made no conversation with her or otherwise mentioned her or asked about her.

Fast forward to three weeks ago. Myself and my wing went in and she was standing behind the bar which faces the entry. I waved and she said hey, but she never visited the table to say hi or talk. I felt the sting of rejection there and realized something had changed for sure. I assumed the BF didn't like our relationship and pressured her to seal it off. Two weeks later I went in with my wing again and no sign of her. I thought perhaps she had moved and found out I was no longer FB friend with her. After some searching I did find her on FB so I was simply deleted. No big deal, it happens. We certainly wouldn't have been compatible in a relationship anyway so no harm done. So then this week I go in with #2 and things get totally screwy...

We are seated at the first table up front. The dining area makes a U with a window between the first and last table. #2 went to the bathroom which ended up being occupied, so she stood waiting next to the last table. At the last table were three of the wait staff rolling silverware (end of the night). Our waitress took drink orders from me and went around the U past the last table to the kitchen. She stopped at the table and said the following:

Oh my God! That guy is here.

{the other waitstaff looked at her inquisitively}

Jenna's Stalker.

{other waitstaff look over window directly at me and return to rolling silverware]

Now I had to do some explaining to #2, but luckily she had witnessed all of our interactions in the past few months and agreed that I had done nothing remotely similar to the label. Still, she was visibly shaken and had this been any other date, it would have been done at that instant.

I directly approached the waitress about this, which she then said it wasn't me but a guy in a group that had just left. However, they weren't in the same room and she hadn't just left their table (nor did she serve them). She told #2 I was a nice guy yada yada but we weren't buying it. I then approached one of the waitstaff who had looked through the window directly at me and asked her who 'Jenna's stalker' was. She couldn't talk for at least five seconds and then asked who Jenna was. I said the girl you've worked with for the past two years.

Wow. I'm really dented by this whole situation. Yes I did like this girl alot and now I feel like I was way too forward to ever mention getting together to hang out some time. I liked her before I got to know her and slowly lost interest. In many ways I never got aggressive with her at all because I realized I didn't like her personality as much as her looks. Now I feel like I might be labeled a stalker with any closing effort or approach. The only word in my head when I look at an attractive HB now is "stalker". Will take me a while to get past this setback. And the sad thing is I'm about as far from the stalker type as you will ever meet. And this is the oldest HB I've shown any interest in (around 34-36).

April 30, 2013

After a week of talking about this with some friends and #2 about this stalker situation, I'm of the opinion that this HB found herself in a bit of a corner. We became FB friends during the few days they had split up. For many months she was hanging out at my table talking.. sitting with me for 10-15 minutes at a time. Then they split up and suddenly she adds me as a friend on FB. Shortly thereafter they work things out. At some point the question comes up of who this new FB friend is and why are people saying she was talking to him (me) a lot when he comes in to work. So then to cover her ass, she claims that I'm basically stalking her and she was just being nice because she had to be nice to customers. She immediately unfriends me and the bf is satisfied her story is the way it all happened.

That's my best guess at this point. Still a setback for me though. I've been knocked on my ass in my inner game at this point. But what is most important is the truth, and the truth is I am certainly no stalker. Just sucks because I feel like I can't eat there any more now, and it was my favorite place for the past 25 years.

Sept 2, 2013

I've been in this half one-itus situation with #2 all summer. Not a relationship though, just a FWB but a little too frequently. Too convenient too. I really need to move on from this one.

The stalker situation has been dismantled. It seems to have originated from a bout of jealousy of the attention by a lesbian waitress. Lesson learned though. Some places are off limits to go for the girls.

#1 has really flatlined. Too jealous of #2. Honesty sank that ship but it was pretty wrecked anyway. I think I'm pretty well friend zoned on that one now.

The 24 yr old from work finally f-closed a guy from work. She told me herself. Nothing to it though, just some fun for her while he was away from his GF. She told me she would f-close me if I took her out and asked if I would f-close her. A couple of weeks ago she said she needed to touch my crotch and reached right over and did so. At work, in the hall with people walking around! This one I need to f-close but I need to be very cautious. The boat is where it needs to happen. It will be bad enough that others at that job site will hear about it happening. I don't need her to know where I live! I mentioned a sunset cruise to her last week and her response was if I take her on a boat I'd better f-close her. This would have already happened over the summer, but the boat broke plus work has been endless all summer. It's all ready now finally.

----------------------------------

I'm going to try to limit future posts to mostly new HB efforts + f-closes. I've been posting the other info because it might help someone else going through what I have. But the real focus needs to be progress and the future.

Very interesting day yesterday.

1> It's 'that' Friday today.. where the big festival happens down by the marina. I finally decided to give an opportunity for the 24 yr old to play. I invited her to come by the boat and have a drink tonight if she goes. I'll have a couple of friends there too and told her not to expect any sex out of it! With this HB I don't really care. If she shows up and things get interesting... so be it. If not, I have other options.

2> New HB 7 at main client in the accounting department. She's definitely what I like in terms of her build. I'd seen her around but no one introduced me. Finally I asked the 24 yr old HB and got the details on the new HB.. recent divorce and relocation across state lines. Yesterday I finally had reason to be in her office location and went directly to her to meet her. The hand shake was very extended and she maintained eye contact afterwards as I was having a standing meeting with her managers. It helped that she had called me the day before to ask a question. I was able to pre-game her by asking if she was the girl I'd seen clocking out at lunch. It made the personal introduction very smooth the next day. She's about 35. One thing I did both in person and on the phone was make her laugh continuously. She called later that day to request a service that her supervisor normally requests. Flirty on the phone too. I plan to number close her next time I see her. Hopefully this afternoon. My sources say she has a BF so I need to sharpen those AMOG skills soon.

3> HB 7 at Dillards last night. I bombed out though... Her male associate was completely immersed in his mid-game with her, so far as I could tell. She seemed to throw out plenty of IOI's to him, but who cares about him. This is about me. They were both neglecting their job to a certain extent and it was nearly impossible to get her to myself for more than 10 seconds. I was about to ask her about their relationship status but he pops up. I did keep her laughing as much as possible. Definitely a weak area for me - AMOGing the competition. I beat myself up a little after I left the store on this one!

Friday Sept 6, 2013

And another interesting day+night. I would say a negative day but I made a couple of huge leaps. I took action. Here is the run-down:

1> The new HB7 at work moved to Florida specifically to live with her boyfriend. She just got divorced in March! Once I got this info out of her, I didn't bother with a number close. Will just keep friendly with her in case an opportunity opens later.

2> No sign of the 24 yr old last night

3> I need a new wing. He chose fapping at home over going out

4> After a few drinks alone on my boat, I was in the mood to go out. I felt let down but I used that disappointment as energy to go out. Do something. Make change....

Fortunately a nice little nightclub is right around the corner from the marina. I've been going there at least once a week lately with #2 or friends, so the hired guns recognize me and say hi. As it happens, I recognized a few people there so I worked my way around to DHV. I opened an HB but I only wanted her name. Then I went back to my friends (not sure why, just what I wanted to do). A while later this HB3 on the dance floor motioned to me expressing 'the dance floor is out here and you are way over there'.. I went right on out and within seconds, her man moved in and secured her. I wasn't dancing with her anyway but I thought it was pretty funny. I really just let it all go on the dance floor and had a great time. The hottest HB there was with a set of four, at least one of which was a lesbian. They were not interacting with any guys but I managed to get a high five on the dance floor out of her! I stayed out there when everyone else left when a certain song came on. Suddenly a whole different crowd comes out to dance. No HB action on the dance floor (all couples) but who gives a F. I was buzzed and happy!

Lesson learned: Everything the PUA community says about just going out and having fun (and letting it show) is true. Everyone wants to be a part of a fun time.

All in all, a good day even with the setbacks. I'm thinking I need to go out again tonight.

Fuck that bitch. I've met many like her. It fucking sucks what she did to you man, you did not deserve it. Its bitches like her that have fucked soo many men into become completely self conscious about every move they make. You were not the problem she was. She obviously has some deep seated mental issues to allow that to happen to you and put you through that. Game on man!

_________________
Cogito ergo sum