Over the past three months I have worked intensely on myself. I dropped 40 lbs, I bought new suits and had them tailored, I got a new loft and I had read many books and articles about game. I gained a lot of confidence in myself and I was ready to try it out. So, I started going to a local club.

I've been twice now, and my level of success has been Miniscule at best. Not that I thought I would land Megan Fox on night one, but the only chicks that seem to take any interest in me are fatties, just like when I weighed 40 lbs. more. The hot girls don't even bat an eye. Granted, a couple did dance with me, but this was the first time I went; now let me tell you about the second time, tonight:

I went with friends. We danced, we talked, we had fun. At least some, anyway. But when it came to approaching, I was forced to face the awful truth: I'm no PUA, I've just read about them. I couldn't approach anyone. I was completely seized with my old social anxieties and crippling fear of rejection.

Through the whole night I saw a lot of HB's, but there was one in particular who caught my eye; slender, fair-skinned, blonde, thick black "trendy-nerdy" glasses, and she danced like she would totally fuck on the first date. All night I watched her dance with AMOG's and her girlfriends. After hours, I finally made a move, and it was a complete disaster.

It's like I went completely blank; I didn't do anything I was supposed to. I just walked up, extended my hand and said my name in an introductory fashion like a dipshit. She took one look at me, laughed, and turned away. I've felt like complete shit since then.

Here are my questions. Feel free to answer harshly if you think I need to hear it:

1. Why do I choke with fear even when I know what I'm supposed to do to approach?
2. Why are only fatties giving me IOI's?
3. What can I do to overcome this horrible, debilitating fear that leaves me coming home sexless each weekend?

Guys, tonight some AMOG YOLO douche is probably fucking that hot chick, and I never will. I can't let this keep happening to me; too many opportunities have gone by already and I feel like my options are wearing thin. I didn't diet and work out for three months so that I could end up with some mammoth that I could have gotten when I was obese.

Help me, guys, I'm desperate. I'm not afraid to admit that here. Please, help me out.

i think the best thing to do would be not to give any more fu cks about anything watch game of thrones how tiren lanester the midget acts he doesnt give any fu cks and he gets fucked instead. Also instead of just doing nightgame try direct daygame too watch sasha daygame or any other direct daygame pua on youtube for inspiration.

OMG! YOU'VE BEEN LIKE....TWICE?!?!?!?!?!?!?!

Dude, wtf, stop whining. You're not a PUA until you've made hundreds upon hundreds of approaches. None of this shit will work unless you put in the REAL work, and yeah you'll get rejected a lot (Trust me) but like anything in life, you've got to FAIL so you know what it feels like and you can better appreciate what it means to SUCCEED.

By even making a topic like this you've failed more than you've realize. Your inner game is a fucking mess, your confidence is probably shit too. Work on your inner game first, THEN move outwards!

_________________
Two words: Carpe Diem

As the others said, your inner game is terrible. You're putting way too much emphasis on the outcome, just have fun at the club, get into a state that is congruent with the scene, and approach some girls simply for the pleasure of talking to beautiful people! Once you've got that nailed, then you should work on what to do next!

1. You do not choke in fear... You are just doing something you are not used to do and your body flushes you with adrenaline in order for you to be able to escape faster if something bad happens... Later your brain according to your believes will interpret this adrenaline rush as fear, anxiety or excitement.

2. Humans including women they like attention, hot girls have already tons of attention from old friends that have been trying to chase them for ages, drunk strangers from bars and clubs, their boyfriend and also their girlfriends... Girls who are not so hot, do not get this attention are giving IOIs to strangers in order to get it.

3. This horrible and debilitating "fear" as you call it is not the the reason that you go home sexless each weekend... Your lack of action, standards, environment and life style is what takes you home sexless each weekend.
We all would love to feel really good, relax and confident when we put ourselves on the line whenever we want to meet a new hot girl. And we actually would love that really fast without having us to do much work they'll find us attractive and would like to have sex with us.
Well that is not the way things work...
Unless she psycho angry girl looking for revenge, or psycho a depressed girl, or she is on holidays, the probabilities of her fucking a random AMOG douche that she just met that night are really low. I'm not sure how is it where you live but, in the places I've lived these random hookups do not happen so often. Most of the hookups that I've seen are between people who already know each other for long time but it happens that that night of the hookup both of them were very drunk.

You already dared to extend your hand and introduce yourself to her, that is the part of the game that is in your control and you did it, be proud of yourself and do it more often.

Seconded.

Yea look man, you have nothing to feel bad about. You have already gone through some pretty scary and difficult boundaries...

1) You've decided to change your life. This is not to be ignored - most people never will so be proud!
2) You've not only decided to change your life but have also taken steps to DO it... you've the made the effort to get yourself in shape and looking more fashionable
3) YOU HAVE APPROACHED!! this is huge. Such a hard step to take but you will find it gets easier and easier as you realise that rejection DOESN'T MATTER

You have only been out twice man. Aside from the fact that most people won't even get to this stage, you need to spend a bit more tme on it if you expect changes to take effect. The others are right, you should concentrate on inner game for the time-being... become confident in who you are, don't let the world dictate how you see yourself.

First make yourself a great person.
THEN work on how to show this to the world.


Hang in there buddy!

2 words. Social momentum. Go out solo the first few times. This forces you to make new acquaintances. If you go with your friends, you WILL use them as an excuse to not to approach ANYBODY. (I speak from personal experiences)

Start your approaches from the beginning. Bouncers, bartender, Drunk guys, Drunk girls, EVERYONE. EVERYONE has some particular quality or accessory that you CAN comment on. And watch as the AA disappears. That beggar off the street. The old lady sitting near you on the bus. (her unique purse) And BABIES. Little rascals can't talk and won't fuck your state up. Try to make 'em smile. Make funny faces at them. Talk gibberish with them. Ask about them from the mother. (Please don't become a pedophile though). Hell, maybe you'll even get to FUCK the mother. (Although this is NOT your goal at the moment).

These people off the street will get you in social god mode faster than any p-oo-ah shit in the World. Unless of course. you call being Manny the Martian and swallowing bowling-balls p-oo-ah shit.

It took me two weeks of standing around before I approached my first girl. I got rejected. Real bad. She literally sent a guy to give me a beating. I gave up. And for some reason ( a PM from a good friend, if I remember right) got back in the game after a pause of about 2 months.


Then it took me 2 more weeks of standing around before I opened my second set. I opened 3 sets the next day. No closes. Then 5 sets the next day. No closes. And today, around 7 sets. No closes there either. (My first ever two set among them, unless you count my first-ever 7 set that tried to kick my assistance)


I can see that smirk on your face! "What the FUCK IS this AFC doing here, giving ME advice???? I am SO much more ALPHOOI than this guy!!!" (That's your ego, by the way, because we all know that you are too much of a nice guy to say that to ANYONE, am I right?)

But I only do daygame. My advice, pick yourself up off the mat, (when you feel like it) but remember that everytime you let a chick pass by, She's gonna get sexually satisfied by some other man, or inevitably turn into a lesbian. (WHY THE FUCK DID YOU LET HER DO THAT?)

Bottom line is, get out there, man. All jokes aside, we all know that you're a unique person. A man who actually tried to do something for a change rather than sit around on your ass all day.
You owe it to the chicks, if not to yourself, to give them your masculine gift. ( Thank you, Deida)

Nothing to lose. Everything to gain my friend.
- If its girls you don't know. Why should you care? You probably won't see them again.
- If its girls you know. Why should you care? Meet one you don't, its unexplored territory.

Fatties? Every holes a goal buddy. Apparently sex with big ladies is pretty good.

Without failure, you can't improve and make something better. If your game is lacking, but you succeed. If you don't fail, you won't have a clue as to what your faults are.
When you fuck up with something, it makes you think to yourself what you done wrong, you become critical of yourself so AS to better yourself.

Failure is "as" beneficial, as success. If not more so.

Success puts into your mind, that you don't need to improve, it works.

To the three questions you asked. I could never give you an answer. I'm not arrogant enough to say I'm knowledgeable enough to do so, compared to the other minds on this forum.

All I can do is say failure isn't bad. Its the code I live by. If failure was bad, the entire human race wouldn't be were it is now. "Trial & Error"

"Failure is not fatal, but failure to change might be."

_________________
-- Nothing ventured, Nothing gained. --

"All chicks ain't shit, ain't no such thing as Miss Right,
So we can never be a couple hun,
Fuck love, all I got for ho's is hard dick and bubble gum!"
-Big L. Dictated but not read.

When I was in the Navy, my Chief had a favorite saying: "I may not get first in the race, but I beat every single person who stayed home.

You making the effort is a victory in itself. You can read all about lifting, but you still have to put in the practice before you get the muscles.

You're making strides man; less reading, more practice. Take some risks

My opinion, is deep down you think you're still that fat guy. You lost 40 pounds and probably packed on a little muscle. You think that hot girls don't like fat guys and, in your mind, you may think you're still that fat guy. To be honest, you could look like a male super model right now and you'll still struggle.

The girl who laughed at you probably laughed because you introduced yourself to her like no one else. You could probably introduce yourself the same way to another girl and she may be cooperative. Here's what you need to do.

1. Go out and talk to the hottest girls you can find. You need to saturate your surrounding with nothing but hot women. In the land of the beautiful, even the most hideous guy gets laid... I'm sure you're not hideous (no homo). The more beautiful women you approach, the more easier it gets.

2. Don't expect fireworks. When you expect fireworks, you're going to feel like a failure. Your objective is not to get the girl, but to have the ability to approach hot women without hesitation. You can't control how she feels about you, you can only control how you take action.

3. Don't try to be a pick up artist. Instead you want to be a man who has the ability to get women. Leave the titles for the girls who are flirting with you (You know, when a girl tells you, "So what are you some kind of player or something?"). A man who gets women doesn't really care about titles. A doctor, a man who has a title, may have a wife who's cheating on him with a man who works at McDs (a man with no title).

4. Think of success in a different way. The next time you go out, instead of saying, "I"m going to get laid tonight, tell yourself, "I'm going to confidently approach 5 women at this club.", "I'm gonna ask that cute cashier for her number", "I'm going to be more bolder with each approach I take", etc. You'll notice you'll feel better about yourself if you do the things you told yourself you said you were going to do before you left the house. The more you do this, the more confident you'll get. Being that you're approaching more women, you'll start losing the fear. You'll start picking up on signals the hot women are giving you. You'll even get a few numbers... and the girls will be very cooperative.

Remember that each approach you take is practice. Get out of pick up mode and just let talking to women be a part of your persona.

_________________
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Sounds like you still see yourself as 40 lbs heavier. These things take time.

Go to a strip club and practice on them, use openers without the possibility of rejection.

You can do it, but only if you really want to.

Hey guys, I know it's been a while but I just wanted to say thanks for all the great advice. I have been out more since that bad night and I have gotten several dates. Two big milestones: I number closed on an HB9 and managed to get laid by an HB6 (probably wouldn't impress Strauss, but as a beginner every victory counts, right?).

Point is, I'm doing way better and I can't wait to keep sharpening my skills. I'll get that HB10 someday, I can feel it. Thanks again, guys, couldn't have done it without knowing that you're on my side.

The only failure is in giving up.

Let's think about this logically.

Nothing is "lost" when a woman rejects you. You can only win, and improve your life when you approach new women. Either they become a part of your life, or they do not, in which case, nothing has changed.

Another thing to bear in mind is that some girls have different taste in men, just as men have different taste in women. Just as most guys often argue about who is the hotter girl, girls do the same with us. A 6 to one person may be a 10 to another.

Some girls in the past (before I was studying pick up) called me ugly, and some said I was one of the best looking guys they had ever seen.

This doesn't help your problem, but it makes rejection easier.

Here is what I think you should do:

Memorize a few opinion openers, and be determined to use them as much as possible, perhaps in one night try them 5 or 10 times each. Give this a shot, you can refine it as you go.

"The only failure is in giving up."

^^^^ Exactly. You just used the wrong technique. If Tiger Woods miscalibrates a shot and ends up in the bunker he doesn't go home and cry into his beer and reflect on giving up golf, he learns from his mistake and improves his game. That's the difference between a winner and a loser: Intent. In a years time when your game is polished approach her again then reject her for some trivial reason. Bit of Karma for her.