Some basic information about myself first. I am 24 years old. I live in New Jersey, USA. You guys ready for my sob story?

My whole life I sucked at socializing with people. I remember even as a little kid I used to stand by myself at recess while the other kids played. Part of it has to do with my parents constantly moving to another area every 1-2 years. I've never been at the same school for more than 2 years. Just when I finally began to settle in and make some friends my family would just move and I would be an outcast at my new school for about a year and once again when I was finally starting to make friends...we would move again.

Middle school was when I first became interested in girls but while everyone else was learning how to talk/flirt/ask out their crushes, I was preoccupied defending myself from asshole bullies and as we all know girls are not attracted to the boys that are pushed around, they're more attracted to the popular alpha males that are often doing the bullying. I found that sometimes the popular kids that weren't bullies would actually respect me more if I fought back with my fists. So desperate for their approval, I tried my best to be a tough kid to the point that I would walk around with a scowl on my face and after years of doing this it just became my natural expression. Even today people ask me why I'm pissed when I'm really not. My face just looks like that. I could be thinking the most pleasant thoughts and I'd still look like that if I'm not smiling. I have to literally force myself to smile just to not look pissed.

When I got to high school, which as usual was in a totally different place with a different crowd, I overheard this really cute girl talking about me and she said something along the lines of "OMG he looks like a mass murderer, I don't want to talk to him." Ironically I'm one of those guys that's "too nice" I go out of my way to help other people who later don't return the favor and I get taken advantage off way too often. But that's when I realized my whole "tough guy" act completely backfired on me. I went through high school without a single girlfriend and I finally got laid on prom weekend at the Jersey shore thanks to lots and lots of alcohol. But it really hasn't happened much since then. I still don't have a girlfriend.

Normal people spend their whole childhood and most of their adolescence learning basic social skills that they use for the rest of their lives. They usually got that shit down packed by the time they're 18. I couldn't really do this and the result is today as an adult, I have NO PERSONALITY WHATSOEVER. I just don't know how to talk to people, how to hold a conversation. I'm not even talking about girls. Even with guys, just people in general. I currently have a job that doesn't require me to interact with people, however, moving up to the next level involves a lot of this. My manager told me that I need to smile and joke around and just be social if I want to move up because it really is a requirement. I would love to do all that but I just don't know how. So you see this is not just affecting my game. Oh, and many of my female coworkers are HOT and the males hit on them all the time. I watch them flirt and joke around back and forth and wish I could join in. They frequently hang out outside of work at parties/bars/clubs and they come in the next day with the best stories and I'm quietly listening wishing I could have been a part of that. A bunch of them hook up every now and then. They're nice but they all think I'm this quiet weird guy who never says anything, just works.

I just want to be normal and social like everyone else and yes I want to get laid, enough to make up for lost time. Regarding PUA I want to get into natural game, the kind I see people around me using all the time except they don't have a name for it. I just want to be able to talk random bullshit with a girl and make her laugh and sound interesting. So enough bitching about my life, tell me how to fix this and I'll do it. I would especially like to hear from people who were in my situation but they did a 180 and now they're like a whole new person. I know it can be done and I really, really, need to get a this taken care of. So please help me out.

First thing to do is to stop rationalizing why certain things happen.

I've had military brat friends who have moved around the world their entire lives, and some of them have actually developed a way to MAKE friends rather than KEEP them. Because the "keeping" aspect is so static in their lives, they just learn to make connections in a limited time.

Of course, all situations and personalities are different. Point being, make an effort not to make ANY excuses or create any "limiting beliefs" crutches (like have a high voice, being fat, skinny, dark, light, asian, black etc.). These will severely limit your potential.

Before trying to carve out a personality out of nothing, start learning/reading/watching. If you have interesting things to talk about, and you have an opinion, then we can start seeing some personality. Sometimes, people BRING OUT the personality in you, this seems to be the case with you.

You write well, you have the ability to logically convey your feelings...and I'm assuming you can be pretty opinionated (for better or for worse). Things start to change when you can talk to somebody about opinions, angles, stances on subjects. This is a strong point, take some pride in it. The world is being inundated with idiots so actually knowing shit, about shit, is a differentiating trait. However, being attractive is different. The good news is, girls aren't TOO fussed about how guys look physically (of course it helps, in all walks of life). So being FUNNY is the cure to a lot of the physical shortcomings we all have.

Part of being funny in a natural way is being good on your feet with no script or canned jokes. The other part(s) is delivery. This can be LEARNED. Sometimes the best thing to do is just sample/copy people that are successfully funny/witty.

I listen to the Adam Corolla show Podcast every day because: He's fucking hilarious/opinionated/dirty in the most alpha-male of ways, IMO. What you can learn from him is the way he interacts with people in a completely spontaneous fashion. How to ask funny questions. How to make boring things interesting. All of these things make you interesting/intriguing.

There are many different starting points for different people...but being witty/funny is the great elixir to everything else. Danny Devito gets laid right?

For delivery, just start studying people (famous or not) that KNOW THEIR SHIT. Incorporate different aspects of different people and start testing things out. If you still feel uncomfortable, switch it up until you start seeing some results. No matter what the process, the trial period is easily the most important part of it.

Can't get in with your coworkers? Start meeting new people, joining new clubs, learning how to rock climb, whatever. Just add some color to your life and give your social life some range..but most of all, have fun. Women will flock to you eventually.

RiRi has some good advice. Here is some other very practical advice.

1- Don't consider the look on your face as fixed. Get your ass in front of a mirror. Block out a full hour of uninterrupted time. Sit in a comfortable place and change your scowl by just slightly moving the corners of your mouth up. Do this until you see a more pleasant look on your face. Then notice how it feels. move the mirror, put your mouth to that state and check in the mirror to make sure you've got it. KEEP PRACTICING.

Then go out and every time you become consciously aware that you scowling then change your mouth back to that position. It doesn't take long to reprogram yourself actually.

2- These forums are full of all the interesting topics you could possible need in conversation.

In fact, I just made a new friend that has an interesting story that people will love to hear about. Who is it? I'll tell you. It's one of my friends who is seriously the grumpiest mother-f#cker I know. He walks around like he hates everyone, you know like girls won't even talk to him, because he looks like a serial killer [when I tell that part everyone will bust up laughing]. I'll exaggerate and say my friend is still a virgin at 24 [gasp]. Then I'll tell that cute girl I know that he is asking me for advise and I know what I want to tell him, but what does she think (then I'll make fun of whatever answer she gives)

Just read these forums and take note of the most interesting topics. Which tend to get a lot of views and comments. Memorize these and tell people this happened to one of your FB friends, or a friend from another city. Most of the time these topics get resolved and make for amazingly interesting topics of conversation where lots of witty and charming replies get posted. It's a gold mine.

So while you are working on finding your own personality, borrow someone else's in meantime.

Thank you both very much for your replies. Yeah I can logically convey my thoughts and opinions on an internet forum where I have all the time in the world to choose the right words and the right sentence structure. Totally different in a real life conversation, of course.

I will immediately get to work following your advice. I'm gonna listen to this Adam Corolla guy and I'm gonna get my ass in front of a mirror and practice smiling. Getting a whole new set of friends is gonna be a little harder, unfortunately the ones I got now are fake as shit and I just want to quietly fade out of their life without making it a big deal. I've actually been studying other people for a while now. Since I don't have much of my own personality I guess I could "borrow" someone else's.

Something interesting I forgot to mention. I have no problem communicating/socializing with my family members and family friends that I have known my whole life. This one time I told a female cousin of mine that I wasn't so good at talking to girls and she was very surprised. She said that I was the last person she expected to have trouble with that since I'm always so confident and funny (around her). When I'm hanging out with my cousins I actually feel and act Alpha. So it seems that I already have a personality but when I'm not with these few people I'm comfortable with it just disappears. Well thanks for your replies I'm gonna go in front of a mirror now.

I wanted to mention something else that I noticed in your posts. My feeling is that actually you have confidence and a personality. What kind of person says "I have no personality"? I am not sure, but I have the sense that you are somehow holding someone else's baggage, if you know what I mean.

Maybe you need to realize that you've outgrown those old labels for yourself and as of this moment put them to the side. You very likely had a rough time in early social settings and developed those self images to protect yourself, but your true self, the self with people you are close to and when you are by yourself (i.e. writing a post) is strong enough to take care of you. Walk out the door and thank those old beliefs for their help in protecting you in the harsh childhood social environment, but they are going to have to stay behind.