First off, Hello to all members of this forum. I've mostly been reading so far but what happened recently made me feel like s*it. I feel really embarrassed about posting and asking for help.
So I met this girl at a bar, she was at the table with her EX (they had broken up) on the opposite side who was with some other girl. Gamed her, she came to a club with me and few friends of mine, left early. We chatted on FB for a bit the following week and she asked if she could hang with me some other night, got her to come Friday which was also my birthday party.
She came. Her ex was really drunk in the disco with some other friends of his, started apologising and harassing her. That went on for like an hour while I was having a blast with my friends - talking, laughing with them... I only talked to her before her bf started doing that, I decided to let them sort their shit. She'll be all over me anyways if she wants that so no point to mess up with their relations.
She begs me to make him leave or at least go to some other place and stop torturing her. Told her it's not ok with me if she's just teasing him with me, she said it's not that, said she didn't want him.
Went back, continued gaming, danced, hooked up with her. Next two days she's all over me on chats and wants a day2. The next day she's out of town, got back the day afterwards. I was at the movies till around 21 (G.I Joe, cool movie), answered her on fb chat. She said she'd message me later if i'm online, goes out somewhere (don't care, didn't ask her anything) - gets back with her EX.

Cliffs for those who don't want to read:
-Met girl at a bar, she's with her recently broken-up-with EX bf
-Gamed her, took her to a club
-She chatted me up on fb three days after and we go to a club on Friday
- Her ex comes and harrasses her at the club, I ignore and let them sort out. I Make him leave after she begs me
- Hooked up with her in front of him, she wants a day2 the other day but goes to her grandparents out of town
- Gets back Sunday eve while I was at the movies, I go back, reply to her messages. She tells me she'd message later, goes out somewhere, gets back with her EX.


Now I feel really bad and like a total tool. I'm attracted to her, not putting all my eggs in one basket at all but I live in a small town. We all go to the same school and gossip is everywhere. I've known her EX for a long time, like 6 years, and all his friends that were with him. All saw me hooking up with her at the club. Just wanted to share this with you guys and ask for some advice, I'm usually above such drama and don't care about it but this time it really got me and my morning's been awful.
So how do I handle this situation?

Sorry, the punchline isn't really clear to me? She got back with her ex and you feel played?

I'm going to assume it's that.

The dynamic is messed up. You are into her, or you just feel stupid? If you want her, then go for it and work on some boyfriend destroyer routines. There are plenty of approaches to getting her away from him. If you like her then you can really get her to fall for you in a way that she switches her affection for him onto you.

Maybe you can give more info, but even if it's a small town maybe there aren't many choices, but is this really worth it?

Both actually, I am into her and I feel rather stupid. Anything else apart strawman I can go for? I'd be happy if you could just name a few so I could read up. What would your approach be if you were me?
Not sure if it's worth it but I'll give it a go, though It might me tough since he's not really giving her any freedom and he's really close friends with her company she hangs out with.

If they are back together might be hard to get a date. I'd get a very innocuous text game going with her. I'd get her laughing and slowly get her telling me the issues with her bf. then I'd start dropping the little hints that he's AFC. Things like, oh does he do this jealous thing or that controlling thing. Then say that you thought so, but don't tell her what it means, this will make her feel clueless and inexperienced.

I'd also drop a few times that he just can't handle her. Tell a story about a girl you know who got in a depression because she was this stellar, gorgeous girl, but her weak ass boyfriend couldn't handle her and his jealousy, insults, and controlling behaviour drove her to start taking medicine and lose control of her life.

Basically you don't do it out of concern for her, but indifferently paint a very painful picture of what staying in her relationship could mean. By being indifferent you show you can handle her.

In social settings make sure to get around him and be dominant. If you can make small jokes about him being jealous or controlling it would help as well. Especially if you can playfully call him out.

Just keep in mind this shit is okay, but it's serious. So make sure she is worth it.

@Shad- You had ample opportunities to get physical and sexual with this girl but you didn't do it.

Your lost!

Next time, learn to strike once the girl is interested!

You had all the right logistics to f-close her but you kept playing it off and putting it off, now she got back with the ex.

Strike while the iron is fucking hot!

In the video below, I explain this concept a bit (striking when the opportunities are there)

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8cPi5YUZlaY[/youtube]

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I'd have f-closed but I had no place to do so. I'm 18 and I still live with my parents which were both home. I'm sure I left her wanting more. But I'll learn from this and become better, thanks for the advice.


@smushed - Is it better to do that and basically pressure her that her bf isn't good enough or just strawman and put a standard he cannot put up to? I've read that expressing yourself in a negative way towards her boyfriends insults her aswell. Her choice of partner, in particular. That could therefore make her defend herself and him, I'm not sure I want to go there. In fact, I rather not talk about her BF at all. Keeping it light and simple, I told her I don't want her to give me her relationship problems shit.
She's hanging out with me and few friends tonight, got nobody at home for the week so i'll f-close.

Ok, well poor logistics then. Poor logistics are always the #1 reason why I don't get to pull whenever I don't.

_________________
Most active PUA blog in the community since 2009.
https://kennyspuathoughts.wordpress.com ... arly-2022/

Now active on YT again with PUA, Red Pill, Manosphere content:
https://youtu.be/tj5rnL_qKfM

Yeah, you are trying to get her to say these things. You are right in that you don't want her to be defending him or her decisions about him, but getting her to complain and then putting in subtle hints, like "it just really sounds like he can't handle you." then moving on.

What you are looking for is for her to have be consistent with herself. You need to get her saying negative things about him and understanding that life with him is causing loss. It's the same concept of getting a girl to say she is adventurous, then asking her to do something with you and if she hesitates you challenge her about her self view of being adventurous.

There is no putting yourself down towards the BF. Everything is done indifferently, so it's clear you don't really care about the outcome. If you can avoid all this bullshit and just be amazing so she wants to be with you I'd go that route.

Keep in mind, though, that the soon to be ex will not disappear and knows how to fuck with her head. He can cause her quite a bit of problems. The sooner that you get to a point where it becomes the two of you against him, the sooner she'll do these things herself.

Honestly though, I wouldn't want to be in that situation. It all sounds very messy. Try to make sure you aren't putting her too high in all this.

That is actually a pretty good approach now that I understood it, I'll definately use it to destroy that guy or might just punch him in the face few times next time he comes along. Only thing that's been keeping me chill is that we've known eachother for a while and he isn't even close to my physique - i'm at 92kg and I look awesome, while he's around 60-65kgs and close to none muscle on. A fight would've been rather funny and make me look bad for beating him up.
Met her last night, her skinny ex was told we're out and came up to the cafe, spoiled her night and she had to leave. She basically got out of the car because he said he'd run to her home and stay there till she talks with him, pretty pathetic. She felt ashamed and was also in front of 2 girl friends of mine. She felt really bad, wants to meet-up later. Will either f-close or stop dealing with this shit, I don't like all the drama.

Don't even think of getting physical with the guy, which you said. That behavior will backfire. Even if she doesn't like him that much the mommy in her will go to his side.

Just work on creating "us against him".

For the cafe there are a number of good approaches. When he comes in you should, not aggressively, but put this girl a bit behind you while they talk. The ideal position would be to have her talk to him from around your shoulder. She would feel massively protected and he'd completely collapse. Stay out of the discussion while creating a physical connection with her to build her strength in confronting him. If you had a hand on her leg, or better hold her hand where he can't see.

Another aspect if something similar happens is to let the interaction start, but then just take over the table and freeze him out. After he starts, you start up a conversation with the table, have a really interesting routine ready. I'd suggest that you read these boards and find a situation that is really pathetic that some AFC has posted.

Once they start you show that their conversation bores you. Make sure the guy hasn't and doesn't isolate the girl (which he'll try to do), you say dominantly, "You know, I was just thinking about a friend I know, you guys won't believe this guy, you've got to tell me your opinion..." launch into the story and if possible make sure people's backs are to the guy and make sure the girl is listening and participating.

If the guy tries to interrupt, then just stop and tell him that this is important and he shouldn't be rude and then continue. The ability to control the conversation and deflate a very stressful situation is absolute alpha. Choosing a story that is funny will do wonders.

Finally, don't try and comfort her after those interactions, it creates a bad dynamic, she needs to know she can rely on you physically, not emotionally. Only when she is your GF can she access you emotionally.

Anyway, very intriguing situation. Am interested to see how it develops.

Went out together, kissed her right after we met, cafe, gamed her, went home. She was said something between the lines "My ex thinks you like me". I directly said I liked her in her face, which was a surprise for her. I got massive DHV and social proof, all her girl friends like me and want to meet me. Anyways, we got some grapefruits, bananas and oranges and we went to my place. Laughed a bit, started making out. She wanted the lights off after she got aroused. I got some LMR, dealt with it with some comfort and ?freezout? (the thing you stop doing anything, switch the lights on and start talking dumb and boring stuff while she's aroused so she comes at me). Started touching her but her mother called. I got her a cab, she comes back to my place after she's done with her mum. F-closed. I used "the Riker's 3 Rules" to destroy LMR, aswell. She said i'm a complete opposite of her ex. Had some fun after the sex, she said she liked it. Wants to meet me and spend time with me today, I'll go for it.

P.S. - When at the cafe, I said she and her boyfriend are just like girl BFFs with all that drama. Also made him look really AFC and I stated that I don't think he's any threat to either me or her. Finished that with "He's a really good boy though". We stopped that topic and he was never mentioned again untill he called when we were already making out at my place, he might have called afterwards but nobody cared anymore.


@smushed @Socialkenny - A big thank you for your piece of advice.
smushed, I can keep you posted if you're still interested in how things will go from now on.

Excellent. Yeah, keep me posted. Seems you backed the truck up over that guy. Should be interesting, even if it turns out you were more interested in stealing her.

Thought I backed it up, aswell. Fucked her again tonight btw.I continued to push/pull the whole time. Continued to sneakily make her ex AFC.
There's a problem though. After sex she opened to me, said she really likes me a lot but thinks about getting back with ex. Says she's not inlove with him but might only get back with him because it's her habbit to be with him and because of the social pressure his friends are putting on her - this I see when we go in public where she acts a bit weird when some of them are there, starts feeling bad and closes herself up a bit. Wants to continue meeting up for sex even after they get together though. Found out he cheated on her before they broke up, so I said something along the lines of "Trust takes a whole life to build and seconds to demolish" - Not when she mentioned he did that to her because It didn't come to my mind, but when she said she doesn't lie to her mother which was around 10minutes later. She still might relate. It's his friends and him telling her he loves her and he's begging her to take her back, I have no clue how this could be called manly and might never understand it.
I try to show her I'm not a player but she kind of senses it and won't stop repeating it. That's a possible reason why she won't take me seriously, apart from what she told that she is doubled on taking her decision. Thinks it won't be cool to break up with him and get with me right after.
But how do I approach this? Sure, the sex is good but I don't really feel good having sex only with her. I'm losing the battle to an AFC guy.

Decided I'd meet her at lunchtime and clear it up. I'll say what I like and that I'd like to see what could come out of this. Not going to pressure going into a relationship at all. Will make her feel about her emotions when she's with me and when her ex is around, hopefully will bring recent memories of that. Will end up with straw man, since I still have used it for a single sentence at the club. Going out of town for two days, I'll give her some time to think about it. I'll tell to decide how she feels happier and better. Going all in on this.

You are now firmly in her territory. Emotional judo. Ack!

It's not a bad thing that she sees you as a player and what she is doing is trying to test you and move you into a territory that she is more comfortable, mainly being with someone that she controls and so feels more secure.
First, don't fall for it. Don't start becoming a pussy and reassuring her. Second, start seducing her friends. Not to try and hook up, but that you are an absolutely fun guy. She is insecure and needs their approval. Try to avoid discussing all the relationship crap and have fun with her.

You are giving her BF clues, but you need to make sure you can control the frame with her before you give her what she is looking for: a deep emotional connection with you. This is the prize and you need to show her that she has to work for that privilege.

Also, having a conversation where you try and lay all this out with probably won't go as you expect. That's her domain and indecision is one of a woman's best weapons.

If I keep her chasing me, as I usually do, I might aswell end up losing, no? I have no time right now to hit on her friends as I'm going out of town for two days. I'm confused because she's a bit of a wreck right now and is doubled. Should I not try to play with her mind and give her a reason to stay while I can? - PUA techniques will help me to some extend.
She's not going to break up with her ex if they get back together. The psychological pressure on her will be enormous.
Reason I wanted to go into that conversation is to regain control, as I'm losing it right now. I don't mind having sex with no relationship but it will be tough on my ego that she is with some other guy while doing it and I'm behind the curtains. Her ex was out of town for 2 days and he's getting back today, she says she'll miss me because now i'm going away but thing is he has two days to work while I'm gone and that could end it.
I'm still doubled on whether I should start that conversation or not. I might do it if we actually meet up today, i'm travelling at 2pm and meeting her at 11-something a.m., which is really early for her as she gets up around 3pm or so.