Long story short: This girl I met one and a half year ago now have a baby with me. Ever since she found out I had lied about kissing a girl who I had met before seeing her, she has been cold and not showing any caring about me, or anything of in a relationship like a hug or cuddle or never started conversations over texts or calls like we met at the beginning. We don't live together but I know she's taking care of the baby 24/7 I know it is tiring and demanding, I showed her my appreciation too, I offered to help her but rejected. I do my part as I am expected too, at every appointment her's and baby's and am paying for the baby. Because of the baby, I know I have a bonding with her deep in my heart. I tried to mend the relationship cuz I want a stable environment for the baby and I do love her. But she told me she don't want to live with me and her family don't like me, I am no longer welcome in her home. It's been a year she has being acting like this. Feeling like a outsider, last night I kinda hooked up with another girl who likes me a lot, but I just felt so guilty about it.

I don't know where is my relationship with my baby's mom at as of now, thoughts?

You should do as she has stated and requested. Distant yourself from her and her family. Still, do the fatherly things for your child but only for the child. When you are in hers and the childs presents, dont be mean but i would be cold to her attention and feelings. Show your child and only your child the attention it deserves.

Thanks for the reply, I don't understand why she has to make a fool of herself when what I was doing is to help her and care for her, but I will do what your saying here cuz I don't want to invest more to her emotionally, so exhausting; however for my baby, I will do whatever he needs. Thanks again.

tell her your sorry for lying to her about kissing the girl, and make up with her. its been a year since then? obviously shes mad at you if she took it as far as convincing her family to hate you.

- Krular is right, just focused yourself in your child. Let the child feel that he/she has a father that is willing to care and protect her/him. Move on with the girl. Do whatever it takes for your child.

This is crap. What did he lie bout, Not telling the girl bout someone he kissed before he met her? People in a relationship that argue over things that happened before they got involved is just plain stupid and childish. The only thing that matters in a relationship is that once two people are commited to each other, they are honest and faithful to each other from that day forward, any relationships before hand is not important.

Yeah, krular is right in both places. Also, I am sure there is far more to this story than what was initially posted.

Better that you get your shit together and take responsibility for the custody that you should be entitled to: caring for your child at least every other weekend. The situation you are in, where you have to go through her to interact with the child is not a healthy one for either of you. Also obviously, she, nor her family, doesn't trust you. Don't delude yourself about a deep bond with her because of the baby. For young mothers baby comes first and you probably represent a threat to the well being of the child.

There is a baby there that needs to see a strong, responsible, alpha father. A father that takes responsibility of what he creates in this world. Fixing your life and learning to take responsibility will bring amazing new experiences to you, great women, and most importantly a deep bond with your child.

obviously shes mad at him or something, otherwise she wouldnt have tatken it this far.

Yeah, I'm doubting a bit that this is the whole story. If it is the whole story, then she is just using some lame made up issue as her justification for not being with him.

Regardless of that, as others mentioned, give your son or daughter the love that you'd otherwise give the girl. Protect yourself from the sad feelings or longing for her by accepting that your relationship is that of a coparent and nothing more. There is nothing wrong with finding someone new. If it's been a year, it's time to move on. Especially if you're not married. Everybody has needs. If yours are being met you'll be happier and it's likely that how this girl acts will be less of a problem for you. You'll simply accept that she's responsible for her own behavior and all you can do is the best you can do with regards to being a father.

EXACTLY

The lie was how it started. And she and the family think I had sex with that girl, but thats something I did not do. Back then I was out of a bad relationship and I met this girl who happened to be my "friend" so we just hung out a lot. I wanted to get the affection from her that I had missed in my previous one so I pushed my self into "Ok, I kinda like her" status. I kissed her on valentines day when we were out to have fun, but there was no sex actually happened. When my girl asked me about if there was something had happened between me and that girl, I just conveniently said no rather than telling her I kissed that girl, later on she found out and she got really mad and she was also preg. Since then I was trying to do the right things but shes just cold and distant.

I am just a liar to them no matter what I try.

That's the whole story, I conveniently lied once and I have learned my lesson for my life time.

I would distant my self from now on cuz it is really sad and exhausting in terms of mending this relationship.

She suggested a couple days ago that I should get her a place to live (cuz she lives with her mom right now) but she also told me she doesn't want to live with me, I told her I can not do that. It seems to me that she don't want to be with me anymore or even try to be. Why would I insist fixing this relationship just becuz of my bubble of hope.

I will do my part as a father for my baby boy, no doubt about it.

Thanks for the response!

Based on her words, she had a time not speaking to her cousin for three months. I don't know, maybe her OCD she would only be comfortable with"the perfect type"?