Hey everyone.

Was lying in bed with my gf of 3.5 years (I'm almost 21, she's 19) and she just starts sobbing uncontrollably. I'm slightly concerned by this and ask her what's up. She basically says:

-I never express my feelings towards her
-I'm always on my phone
-I never have time for her
-She feels ugly compared to me
-Finally, she pops out with "we need couple counselling"

I've known she has insecurity issues but I almost choked on my coffee when she threw the counselling line out.

Lately I must admit my attraction has dropped. Sex is good but only happens once a week. She just isn't the same person as she used to be. She has become everything I have learnt not to be. She is needy (calls at least 4 times a day), smothers me with affection, gets upset when I talk to girls (She tried to stop me going on a night out with my friend circle beacuse there was one girl she didn't like).

I think the biggest reason I've lost interest is because she has no drive. When I met her she was a fantastic singer, muscian and played sport. Now at university she does nothing. She wakes up at noon each day and just does the bare minimum. She has no hobbies. A driven and determined girl (I am very determined and have strict goals) is such a turn on. She just isn't....

I love her dearly but deep down I just don't want to hurt her. I have the biggest exams of my life coming up in 2 months and just don't need this drama... Also I have an internship this summer in a city 10 hours drive away....

Any advice? Thanks for reading.

Sounds like it's time to leave her

^

I've you've never expressed these feelings to her, it may be fair to do so before you decide to break up. It is possible, although rather unlikely, that she will change.

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I would agree it's time to have "the talk" with her. Tell her what you feel has changed and why it bothers you. It sounds like you guys are at the "break up or get married phase," and she's pushing harder while you pull away more. You don't need counseling, you need to first decide where you are and see where she is, then decide if you guys need to try to get closer or need to end it

You guys aren't married, so counseling is out. Even if you were, counseling is an admission of a relationship's pending death.

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"Let me ask you something. If the rule you followed brought you to this, of what use was the rule?"

If you brake up with her before passing the exams you're gonna regret it big time. For your own sake , wait it out. Trust me on that. You don't wanna go through what I did.

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