Hi everyone, I need some advice from all you. I've never encountered a situation like this before. Here is my story.

I recently got close to this girl; we were mere acquaintances before then. Started texting and skyping each other a lot over a break in the school semester. We made plans to see each other as soon as we got back to the college. 1st date, cuddling and playful touching. 2nd date, holding hands and walking around everywhere. I wussed out and didn't kiss her. The next day she says we can't do anything of that sort again, because she had been talking to this other guy in a nearby city, and didn't want to do that to him. She said she couldn't help herself in the past two dates, but wanted to make it clear before we hooked up or one of us got hurt. She asked if we could still hang out. Taking a PUA girl friend's advice, I told her i understand her stand point, and stopped seeing her, cutting texting. We've been a lot more distant on the phone ever since. We don't even SPAM anymore. Which is fine, since I guess we were getting too comfortable anyways.

Then, during a recent weekend, we saw each other in a club. We grinded, and I ended up taking her back to my place. We spent the whole weekend having sex, cuddling, enjoying each other's company. I even booty called her to my place once during the week. Now we have another break, and she's gone to the city where that other guy is at. A mutual friend tells me that she refers to themselves as a couple now. I told myself I wouldn't let myself get emotionally involved, but I couldn't help but be a little upset. I'm worried that a little oneitis is kicking in. She won't respond to the texts i sent. I noticed that when we hooked up she didn't respond to that other guy's texts as well (Shes a nice girl but a natural player it seems). That PUA girl tells me that I've been too available to her this past week, and that I should hang out with her even less now.

Apologies for the long summary, but its the best i could do. I left out a lot of details too. In short, what do you guys think I should do now? I don't know if she'll stop hooking up with me now that they're a "couple" but I'd still like to keep her around as a FWB (sex is too good). I'm gonna follow that girl's advice, and try to be a lot less available. But I also want input from you guys. I'm not looking for a long term relationship with this girl, only because I can't trust her to be loyal. But I do admit that I really like her. At times I feel like I'm just being used to fill her loneliness and lack of sex when shes in college. Is it time to move on and completely cut contact with her or should I attempt to maintain this FWB thing that's starting up?

Thank you guys for taking the time to read the long post. And I appreciate any comments, advice, insight, or sharing of similar experiences.

I had a situation like this a few months ago lol

Fuck her better than the other guy. It's that simple. Sex is an emotional thing with women. You hit her emotions harder, she will forget about the other guy.

I'm talkin about crazy shit too... By the way.

Throw her around by her feet.
Grab her throat and face.
Pull her hair.
Bite the shit out of her. (Not hard lol just all over her body)
Reverse Pile Drivers? Choice is yours

Put boxing gloves on and beat it like a champ

Thanks TheMajikalMethod.

I honestly think the sex is the only thing keeping this thing working. She likes it rough, so I already do a lot of those things you listed. The result is multiple orgasms everytime. I slap her ass, pull her hair, bite her neck, throw her onto the bed, and just give it to her harder when she yells my name. I still tease her in bed, and make her beg for it occasionally haha.

As I mentioned, she doesn't respond to that other guy until a whiles after we have our sexy time. Shes too busy feeling my body and reacting to my hands running all over her. As far as I can tell I'm the best lay shes had in a while, so I'm wondering if there's something else I need to do to make her not even want to talk to that guy anymore. I avoid talking about anything that can be related to him because a look of guilt and sadness always flashes on her face when that happens. I think one thing he does better is taking her to places she likes and to good food. All we've done is fool around in my bedroom and cook a little in my kitchen.

So I guess I need to take the sex to another level. She already bites me a shit ton, and she was talking about bondage (see why I like this girl so much). Any suggestions? I'm open to them and I'm willing to try stuff, granted she gets the privilege of laying with me again

If there's any more advice i'd greatly appreciate it too. Need to get my mind off her so I can put some distance and be less available. I would go and game other beautiful gals but the selection here is very limited during the break If I get more suggestions I'll let you guys know what happens after the break.

Shy Swag

Tough spot mate, I can only tell you that its tough because if you give her less attention and be unavailable she will get closer to her boyfriend and won't even miss you (Maybe..) so its not really what I would do, hmm dillema. I would also like to know what one can do in this situation so i'll keep an eye on this thread, and let us know what happpens

Two days back from break, we have yet to contact each other. I don't want to initiate texting or messaging because I already sent her two texts over the break, only to get no reply. Its sad though, because I have a funny picture with an inside joke that I would love to send. I'm starting to realize that I'm a bit needy when it comes to emotional stuff. I've been slapping myself trying to force myself not to give a damn.

A friend of mine, who is a natural, suggests texting something generic to see what kind of a response i get. The PUA girl still suggests I remain distant. I just plan on waiting until the weekend, when I'll most likely come across her in some way. Distracting myself with working out and company of friends.

I plan to let her feel right away that I'm not happy with her ignoring me, meaning I'll be a distant and I won't intiate contact, much like the time she told me we couldn't be all touchy feely anymore. She'll have to earn my affection back again. If she stays cold, then I guess I'll move on. But if she acts all lovey dovey again I don't know what I should do, especially if she wants to fuck.

My idea is to just define us as fwb right then and there if she initiates sexual contact. I'm gonna frame it as a secret agreement between us. My attention (partial) and regular awesome sex if she cuts the cold act out. I just need to remember not to initiate hugging, cuddling, and kissing as much as i did last week. It was a mistake by me that was caused by my neediness.

What do you guys think? Still all ears open to critique, ideas, and advice. I'm all about learning through these kinds of experiences, and hopefully someone else can learn something from this too.

Still this.
Is this the only girl you have been messing with? If so then go sarge for more. With more women in your life it will be easier to distant yourself. She will reach out when she wants to meet up and when you do remind her why she comes back to you....for sex.

Only reason she would say she cannot to be touchy feely is because she is trying persuade herself that she does not like you like that since she has a BF. I wouldnt bring up the FWB thing. You dont want to put a title on something you guys have because then she might change her mind. Just lightly kino her and more than likely she will give you the signal to take action. In her mind she could be resisting initiating so she doesnt feel like a slut so a light kino from you will get her in the right mind set. Then attack!!

P.S. If anybody else can help please do also I am open to constructive critisicm.

Haven't updated about my situation in two weeks, so prepare for a long read. Worth the time tho

Another weekend of just non-stop cuddling and sexing. Yet I'm still not satisfied. During the weekend I'm treated like the only guy that exists in her world, if shes around. During weekdays and when shes out of town though, i'm just some other guy. I'm sure that I'm the only other guy (apart from "boyfriend") she fools around with. Other guys haven't got past her bf situation. She says she's doing bad in school, so I think she associates me with guilt from spending all weekend at my place and not studying, and technically cheating by being with me. She literally spent all weekend at my place; midnight Friday to late at night on Sunday. Guess I'm a guilty pleasure. Is this a good thing?

PUA girl says I spend too much time with her when we get together. I'm starting to think that this is true too. The trend has been: rarely see each other during the week then full on crazy weekends. Maybe if I made her go back to her place to study it would kill two birds with one stone. I'm worried that if I do that during the weekend, she'll succumb to her feelings of guilt and decide not to see me again during the weekend. I'm pretty sure that will happen because her feelings for me just seem to die instantly when we spend too much time apart. I offered for her to study at my place, but she says she doesnt want to because we always end up fooling around. How can I remedy this?

The texting is still lifeless. She almost always instantly replies to my texts, but they're just short, quick answers. Just seems to be her texting style. Doesn't really bother asking me questions or show much interest in what's going on with me. Rarely initiates either. The sexually charged texts get responses like WTF and WTH. The simple yet boring "What are you doing" texts get warmer responses. We don't SPAM anymore either. I think shes skyping her "boyfriend" most of the time during weekdays. A lot of other guys have playful texting with her too, but they don't get in her pants. Do i need to work on getting her to contact me more or I should just leave it as is?

Actually, I just realized what I'm asking for help on. How do I keep her feelings for me going during the week? Apparently my texting game has declined. What can I do with texts, calls, and setting up meeting times that can keep her interest going? My objective is to set up booty calls randomly during the week.

This past week I told her to come over on Wednesday, and she agreed to. But at the last minute she says she needs to study and postponed our get-together until Friday. Offered to help her study (too desperate?) but she said we'd fool around too much for her to study. The next day she was talking about staying at her place to study all weekend, so I retaliated by saying she wasn't invited to my weekend party, so she wouldnt be tempted to party instead of studying. Then I painted a vivid picture of her boringly studying all weekend, ALONE. On Friday I asked if she liked a certain food, faking asking her out to dinner. She didnt respond till after dinner time. Then I sent her a pic of me eating that food with someone else. Captioned it with "i'll just leave this here, have fun studying" (cruel i know). I didnt contact her at all apart from that. Sure enough, she contacts me late that night (hehe ). So that's my little failure to success story. What could I have done on Weds. though? I saw no way of overcoming that LMR that particular night.

The sex was great again. New positions, louder screams and moans, more intense orgasms. During sex she admitted she gets a kick out of seeing me frustrated when she playfully rejects my sexual advances. I see that this all ties in with her having many texting buddies that think they have a shot with her. She must like watching them drool all over her while ultimately not sleeping with them. Just what happens with girls that get a lot more popularity in college i guess. Those losers probably don't use push-pull either. But luckily for us we have experts and each other to learn from.

Shes starting to let people see us hanging out. Still opposes PDA around her friends though. All over me when nobody is around. She also tells me about all the guys that try to get with her lol. She did admit that she hates being seen like a slut, and is really affected by what other people think of her (like most girls).

Won't get to do much this weekend because I'll be out of town, and her "boyfriend" is visiting her. Speaking of him she publicly denies being her girlfriend, but he is the only guy she shows herself in pictures with on her social pages. She only tells her close friends that they're dating. What the hell is going on there lol. Anybody encounter something similar? She briefly mentioned that her friends don't like him, but she really likes his personality and thinks her friends are really shallow. Her friends already seem to be destroying him, so I haven't said much about him. He does seem very controlling, whereas I don't really care that she flirts with other guys. What can I do here? Apparently he has a superior personality, but I am more attractive.

Big thanks to everyone that's been reading my super long posts. I take all of your advice to heart. I try to include just enough relevant details so I can get better answers. I have a lot of room to improve, so I greatly appreciate any help on any of the questions I have. Thanks Zaak for telling me not to mention the FWB thing. Looking back I don't know what I was thinking. Feel free to PM me if you're interested in more details (though I doubt it, since I gave so many haha). In all likelihood this thing will end when I go back home after graduating after this semester. So I'll just keep posting until then. I deeply appreciate all the views and replies. This has been a great learning experience and I hope that everyone can learn something from this. Please comment if you have any advice, feedback, or similar experiences.

ShySwag

Very interesting post! I can't say I have any definitive answers, because I've never been in this situation. Here are some thoughts for you to considers.

• Do what Zaak says, get out there, sarge, get things going with other women. This has got to be your number one tactic, just for your own mental health. You want to be in charge of the situation, not have the situation rule your life. You can get great sex from other women too... remember it's mostly about how sexually charged up YOU can get the woman, so it's not like you won't have great sex again if you don't see this girl for a while.
• She's mixed up in her own mind about what she wants. She's willing to f*ck with your mind and heart in a rather callous way, frankly... this doesn't mean she's cruel, it just means she's way too into herself and not enough into helping/caring about other people. Is this really the kind of girl you want in your life?

Here what I would do (and I emphasize "I", because you have to really make your own choice on this one). When she wants to get together with you next time, refuse to meet her at your place or any place private. Meet her at a coffee shop or something. And then straight off tell her you don't like being screwed with mentally and emotionally, and that she can't see you again, for sex or for anything else, until she's made a decision. Tell her FLAT OUT that she can only be with you if she is willing to be monogamous with you and serious about the relationship, and that you damn well want her to start being more caring and generous towards you.

This will shock the living sh*t out of her, and she may well get mad (she'll probably say something like "You have no right to expect that of me," etc., etc.) You can tell her "I don't expect anything. I'm TELLING you what YOU have to do to be with me... take it or leave it". This is harsh stuff, but it will leave an INDELIBLE mark on her mind and heart... you are strong enough to be without her, you know exactly what you want (and you imply that you DO want her, despite not letting her near right now) and you are giving her the chance to make things good by telling her EXACTLY what she needs to do. This is being dominant, and women LOVE it, even if they initially complain.

If you act this way towards her, all of a sudden she will be unable to be with her other boyfriend without comparing him to you, in a negative way. Stay off the phone with her, no texting for at least several weeks while you are out sarging and hopefully sleeping (with a condom!) with other women. She will probably text you stuff, ignore it, even if it's "I'm thinking of you... I want to be with you..." stuff. Ignore it totally, live your life, have fun with other girls.

After a couple of weeks, you can text her that you'd be up for getting together for something casual, just for old times sake. Like visiting an art gallery, or getting a beer, or (better) taking a walk in a nice part or area of town, maybe stopping in for a coffee somewhere. Then you can lay things out for her again... you still like her and want her in your life (IF you do, after meeting other women), and in a friendly but clear manner tell her what your standards are for a possible relationship. And I do mean TELL, don't ask, ever. If she still gives you the "Well, I really love/like/respect blah blah my BF" line, you should dump her on the spot, forever... she's still too mixed up. Otherwise, you can let her back into your life, f*cking her better than she's ever had it, but only after she's made a serious promise to dump the other guy (including taking down FB pictures with him, publicly displaying/saying she's with you, never seeing the other guy again, etc.)

Make these red lines (ie. things she'd better do if she wants to keep the relationship) and keep her honest, without being jealous or micro-managing. Just assert domination and expect that she will comply.

Ok, this is my take... it's radical, but I haven't got the time or patience anymore (I'm 44) to put up with bullsh*t. AND, I know women LOVE FRICKIN' LOVE dominant men, and will often dump AFCs for them in a heartbeat, if they are TOLD to do so (yes, they want to be TOLD).

But as my sig says, take all this with a grain of salt... you have to live according to your own heart. Just be sure to keep us posted on how things go, and have fun!

Cheers, ~50

_________________
--== I'm just learning this stuff too, so take everything I say with a grain of salt and follow your intuition ==--

Also, ShySwag, here's another possible approach, somewhat more "sneaky", but possibly even more effective:

Let her come to your place one last time, and give her the most goddamned incredible night of sex she (or you) has ever had... prepare for it, think about all the positions you are going to do, go down on her, give her incredible orgasm after incredible orgasm, to the point that she is left gasping and shaking and can barely talk. Then, let her sleep with you till morning...

Then, in the morning, take her to breakfast somewhere nice, and lay out the conditions for continuing to be with you. Make it black or white... either she does what YOU say, or she's out of your life. Tell her she can have a few days to think about, but otherwise you're moving on. You know what you want in a relationship... tell her exactly what that is, set out some conditions (leaving other guy, yada yada), and make it clear that NO SEX will be forthcoming with you, EVER, if she decides to stay with the BF.

Then, when you finish breakfast, kiss her lightly on the cheek, tell her she's great and that you want her to be happy. Then slap her on the butt, hard, and send her on her way. Go your way and don't look back, and let her decide and make the choice. You can't make it for her... so be prepared for failure and move on with your life.

Cheers, 50

_________________
--== I'm just learning this stuff too, so take everything I say with a grain of salt and follow your intuition ==--

Great advice I read here, however 50, you must read his first post. He stated clearly he doesn't want a relationship with her because she is not loyal, which I wouldn't want either. However he likes her, its a huge problem, i've been through it, you want someone but then again dont want them. What you want is FWB that loves you and cares for you and keeps you emotionally satisfied , as you cant get that satisfaction with other women(atleast that was my case while I had 10 girls messaging me daily) I still wanted that one that made me feel better then the rest.. bro, im with you on this one. What i would do, and just like 50 says, I, would just keep it going like this till you find someone that can satisfy you better.. so keep your options open and live your life, and make her a part of it, not all of it. Its some strong mental game here and its difficult because you always have to be on your a- game with her, slip up and things will get tough... good luck bro and let us know

50, thanks for the advice. I would follow it if I was trying to make her my girlfriend, but I'm not. I also don't have months left to do all that. I will take your advice and be more dominant though. Also, I believe that what you suggested is exactly what her "boyfriend" did to her. I've heard her tell him saying that we (me and her) wouldn't hang out anymore. And she really tried to end it too. That's when she said we couldn't hang out anymore. Of course, my posts tell the story of what happened a week later. On numerous occasions, she posts stuff of us hanging out on social media, only to take it down later. Probably the dude laying the hammer on her. She only shows herself with this one guy. I'm guessing he did exactly what you suggested and she didn't want to lose him. So she pretends to do everything a committed girl would do. You're right, she doesn't know what she wants, and she's willing to fuck with other peoples emotions. She's not the type of girl I want in my life for the long run. That's why I initially asked if there was a way to just define us as FWB. But maybe I've just been watching too many movies (her justification for coming over to my place ).

Wizzay, I couldn't have expressed myself better. FWB that cares for me and keeps me emotionally satisfied. Reading that made me realize that I'm really hard to please. Guess I can't expect everything to go my way all the time. The problem is just that I haven't found a girl that satisfies me better. I know some girls will satisfy me better emotionally, but it just doesn't work for me because they're not as attractive as her. I'm not the type of guy that will just stick my dick inside any girl, I'm just weird like that I guess. Shitty morals aside, this girl is much more attractive physically and in personality. I already feel myself slipping off my A-game. Here's to hoping I find someone better.

And for fucks sake, now her friend is all up on me. I was working on her before I started fucking around with the fwb girl. She just got jealous and now wants my shit. This is all new for me, but common sense tells me that messing with her now would just be social suicide. Must be bad karma man. GFTOW, but the one girl I wouldn't mind fucking comes knocking at the wrong time.

I'm taking the fwb girl to a social event this coming weekend. That's the only thing stopping me from doing something big like what 50 suggested. The social status and the sex for the weekend, so excited! Man I'm a mess. Her friend is going too. My chance for a threesome! Problem is they probably hate each others guts. I have no idea what goes on behind my back Any advice lol? If the threesome doesn't work I'll probably just fuck her friend and see where that goes. Maybe i'll tell fwb that this thing isn't working out, and that she'll need to step it up somehow (more sex! , fingers crossed ). Gotta cure that oneitis and get with some other girls. If any of you think its a bad idea and that it really would be social suicide please tell me so this week.

Thanks for all the advice and views. Keep them coming, I really need the advice lmao. Happy sarging.

ShySwag

So much happened this week. Heres the latest on the life of Shyswag.

We're "dating" now, meaning we're seeing each other everyday and fucking like rabbits. She says we're more than friends, and we both agree that we're not officially a couple. So I got what I wanted. A fwb that satisfies me sexually and emotionally. The sex keeps getting better too

Things ended with her "boyfriend". He already had a clue, but social media pictures of us during our social event just pushed him over the edge. Now that fool can move on with his life instead of trying to be in a relationship with a player. She told me and started crying. I really wanted to just leave the room when she did that, but alas i just held her as she cried and talked. I want feedback on what I couldve done better in that situation. I've never had much experience as a "homewrecker" lol.

She kept saying he was a selfish asshole, due to stuff he did when he found out we were fucking, and that shes losing trust in guys. Shes depressed that people see her as an easy slut (smh), and says she hates how people just assume shes sleeping with all the guys she talks to. In my mind i'm just thinking "no shit", but of course i kept that to myself and just said that its not her fault that shes naturally friendly, so she needs to watch who shes leading on with her flirtatiousness. I tried not to be a life coach and just listen, but I just needed to say a thing or two so she knew i was listening. We resumed talking afterwards. I just made her do her homework and I did my own thing. The next day she said she felt like I was babysitting her and that I'm to nice at times. After that incident shes been taking me to places to eat without having me pay, which is pretty nice lol. So I guess it didn't turn into a disaster with my AFC-esque behavior. But what would you guys have done?

I know shes been talking to another experienced player, and I'm wondering if my recent availability is lowering my status. She had him join us on SPAM once recently, saying they're just friends (bullshit lmao). She claims she lets him know we're "together". But of course I take everything this attention whore says with a grain of salt. I guess she just wants more fwbs. This is my first fwb, so I don't know if I'm going about this the right way. It feels awfully similar to what happens when a couple first begins dating. Should it be this way? I'm still living my own life and just seeing her when she wants my company. I'm asking because I want to be the main guy she visits when she goes home for the summer, as opposed to this other player that is in a different city. I know the sex will keep her coming back, but what else can I do to make sure I'm the #1 guy she visits when she goes out of town for company?

Looking back this has been a great experience, and I'm glad I successfully got my first fwb. If I was any weaker mentally I would've ended up as one of those chumps that we laugh about, the afcs that fail miserably at getting into her pants. That PUA girl saved my ass; I was about to give up when she wanted to stop seeing me. Learning to be good in bed pays great dividends lol. Her friends warned me not to get involved with her, lest I end up like one of those guys she strings along without fucking. Being me of course, I wanted the challenge, and that ass . I'm so much stronger mentally now. I care a lot less if she doesn't contact me or if she mentions shes flirting with other guys. Maintaining the not giving a shit attitude has become so much easier. Thank you guys for the advice. I've learned a lot, and hopefully you readers have too. I'll post in this thread sparingly until my life separates the two of us for good in a couple of months. Feel free to leave comments and I always value advice. Hopefully the next post from me will be a lay report where i utilize all that I've learned from this experience.

Shyswag