Hey everyone,

After some advice on this statement made by Mystery in Styles book The Game.

I have a pretty cool boss. She's 29 (30 in august), I'm 38 in June this year.
She's single but social and out there, i'm a month away from my divorce and have 2 small kids, studying my MBA, halfway through my professional accounting studies and do some pro bono business consulting for a charity.

We had drinks at work last night and we had a pretty good time (i'm hungover today sadly).
The conversation between us is always playful, so I play the cocky funny role and have plenty of natural game to keep our relationship entertaining with her.

One thing she said last night is that she would never date a guy she works with. Period!

There is another guy at work that people think she has been involved with so I shit stirred her about it last night and she replied with 5 reasons why he's not for her.

A few months ago I decided to share some personal shit to explain some leave from work. It was a pretty big leap of faith since no one at this job knows too much about my break up with my ex wife. Over the last few months we have achieved a higher level of trust and she has shared some deep and private stuff herself (I'll read this as her investing in me).

At this point i'll say what most reading this are thinking - Friend Zone - and I totally agree. However, there are also many IOI's, compliance tests, body language cues (thanks Joe Navarro!) that appear to suggest a subconscious attraction.

Therefore my question here is "How do I become the exception to her rule?"

In my mind I envisage that I will need to appear so interesting and entertaining to her that she would feel like she lost someone special if I was suddenly seeing someone else.

One of my reservations about this is that she has strong inner game and very clear ethics/morals/standards. For her this is something that could seriously break her expectations of herself. How do I compete with that?

Cheers

Mixar

_________________
wisdom is knowing what to do next virtue is doing it
Translation - Thought without action is pointless!

I wonder why you put so much faith in things she says she would or wouldn't do. If she has 5 reasons off the top of her head why she wouldn't fuck that guy in the office, I would bet money she has already fucked that guy in the office. I agree with you, you are in the friend zone, which is normal after forming so much trust, familiarity, and rapport with a woman before you have had sex with her.

I guess that I trust what she says because I haven't been given any reason not to believe her.

Having built trust and raport, is it just a matter of Kinoing, escalating and isolating her to a private place to get it on?
My logical brain says its going to take an incredible amount of effort to shift her thinking.

Perhaps I'm questioning how to open her up to an office 'romance' without being too obvious and making a tool of myself.

Cheers

_________________
wisdom is knowing what to do next virtue is doing it
Translation - Thought without action is pointless!

Brother, just go do a little test. Ask 5 girls whether they will have sex with a guy on the first date. Tell us the answers.

Hi Smushed, I already know the answer to the test you've suggested. I'm not concerned with whether she has/hasn't does or doesn't.

The advice i'm after is how do I approach this situation in a way that does not assume she is a sure thing, and provides me with a safe exit if she doesn't positively respond to escalation? The primary barrier is we work together, she is my boss/line manager and has affirmed no office romances are on the cards for her.

Just a point of interest. My employer doesn't have any issues with staff hooking up. Last count, there are 6 couples in my office alone (we have about 15 offices globally) including a married couple. So she can't use a staff policy as an excuse. This is a self imposed restriction.

Cheers

Mixar

_________________
wisdom is knowing what to do next virtue is doing it
Translation - Thought without action is pointless!

Yeah, I figured you did. Was just to illustrate that girls say one thing then do another.

So, just ignore that rule. A huge number of couples meet at work. Kind of obvious really.

I have the feeling that you are making this weirder then it needs to be, or asking yourself too many questions. Maybe I can fairly say "get out of your head". I could be misunderstanding though.

Look, if you are being awesome, flirting, building her attraction to you, then everything will go pretty naturally. She'll throw that rule in the same bin all those girls throw their "I won't sleep with a guy on the first date rule when they find themselves in bed with some guy on the first date." rule. It's her issue to deal with, not yours. No?

How attached are you to this job and how important a stepping-stone do you consider it in your career?

_________________
If something's not fun, it's not worth doing

Don't use your logical brain with your current frame of understanding when trying to interpret woman, it is destined to be your worst enemy. But you have it exactly reversed, you always work on attraction before rapport, this isn't a minor point. everything you are saying makes sense from a mans perspective and is logical, its also incorrect. Everyone wants to focus on their current issue, but you are going to be served much better learning good game and practices going forward than worrying about the results of this one incident. I agree witht he other poster, making a tool of yourself is irrelevant, never be afraid of failure, your job security may be a different issue.

Thanks for the advice guys.
Job security is only important from a "I need to eat to live" perspective.
Overall in my career, it fills a minor gap, but isn't overly important.

What I might do is work on attraction, and also try some NLP cues around work relationships to open her mind up to it. This will be a medium term project, and I'll continue to run game outside of the office.

To summarize this post, would it be fair to say that to be the exception to any girls rule, we need to ignore what her rules are and run our game like we would with any other chick that doesn't have rules?

Cheers

Mixar

_________________
wisdom is knowing what to do next virtue is doing it
Translation - Thought without action is pointless!

Yup. Good summary. PUA is pretty much about bypassing girls rules. Good luck and try to stop analyzing so much and practice more.