Ok well I've been going out with a friend and thought it was going well but got this the other night ... is this her way of telling me she just wants to be friends ...

we were on the phone and were talking about our plans for Sunday she said she forgot that this Sunday was Easter and wouldn't be able to go... lost signal

Her: phone cut off. 10:43 PM
Her: I'm going to bed 10:44 PM
Me: did you just cancel our date, hang up and go to bed? lol you're being replaced! 10:44 PM
Me: that's petty woman! I thought you were better than that! 10:46 PM
Her: Lol. No, I'm actually tired. 10:50 PM
Her: I didn't knw it was a date?! Then I would have cancelled sooner! Haaaa! 10:50 PM
Her: All my work drama you think I want romance drama too? LOL! Not for awhile. 10:51 PM

Not sure what to do here . . . is it a lost cause? Shit testing me?

Man I need help.

Have you been touching and kissing this said friend? If not, then that fact combined with the way she responded is probably enough to say you're in the friend zone.

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Before she can respect you, you need to respect yourself.

god dammit some touching no kissing.

Define "some touching."

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Before she can respect you, you need to respect yourself.

Just simple light kino. Touching hand arm leg brushing hair to side playing with hair tested touching neck with back of hand...never pulls away but never k closed even though I should have. Known her for a while but we've only recently started hanging out together alone.

Alright, that's not bad. Perhaps not necessarily friend zoned. If I were you I'd give her a slap on the wrist by not bringing up the next "date" and not initiating a conversation for the next 24-48 hours, but other than that treat what she said as a shit test. You can retort something like "please girl, you're ten times the drama than I would ever be, lol. Just because I'd go on a date with you, doesn't mean I'd DATE you."

You also need to start doing more kino next time you hang out.

_________________
Before she can respect you, you need to respect yourself.

should i just freeze her out completely or just not initiate contact?

she's usually the one that initiates is why i was thinking just fuck it freeze her out.

Yep, I just saw that. I edited my post. Don't freeze her out... If it's a shit test you'd be making a poor choice. Freeze outs are administered only for legitimate bad behaviour. After all, you've been doing good in person, haven't you? So don't let a few words rattle you.

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Before she can respect you, you need to respect yourself.

Ignore one or two messages at most if you anticipate she'll continue to text you. But don't give her a full blown freeze out, because then you'll just seem butt hurt. Otherwise, her initiating is a good IOI.

_________________
Before she can respect you, you need to respect yourself.

ok thanks.

but yes, thought i was doing good and i didn't think we were doing BFF type shit, always try to keep it flirty joking cocky funny. guess i'm moving too slowly.

she's also the one that always plans future dates, even stuff like "oh never been there, maybe you can show me that" etc - about our date that was cancelled "OMG I so need that! Sounds so exciting I can't wait!"

Well with all that info, it was definitely a shit test. Don't let it rattle you. Instead, humour her in return. Don't even think about freezing her out. Just be like "yeah I wouldn't date you " next time she says something like that. Basically, put on a mask and be like "I don't give a shit."

Two things to fix: try taking the lead on the dates... Don't let her take command of everything. Be the man and take more action. And second, taking more action also means doing more kino. Get going.

_________________
Before she can respect you, you need to respect yourself.

thank you for the awesome insight you are the man! that's what i get for actually caring about one i'm chasing, i hate going after friends makes me feel AFC!!

well we're past 48 hours no contact. I think I'll just leave it at no contact for the rest of the weekend too.

If the context of the relationship is that of a friend she likely frames most of what you do as just playing around. You can outright ask her out, so there's no uncertainty. She already knows you and what you're about so she's either going to bite or not.

You messed up by not taking things sexual sooner. If all you've done is light kino then you've done nothing, really. You have to, HAVE TO and I can't stress this enough now, HAVE TO TRY AND KISS any girl you're remotely interested in by the second or third time you meet her, or things always without fail turn into a weird crappy friendship or text buddy HELL. Trust me on this, this forum is riddled with people who were 'too afraid' to go for the kiss and now are getting the following advice, which sad to say, now applies to you : Forget about her and move on. If she actually likes you, she'll get in touch again when she's bored, you will then have to arrange something fun to do immediately and do it and kiss close.

If you go for it and she doesn't want to, she'll move her head to the side and kiss her cheek, that's pretty much how it works. But 90% of the time you'll close, if a chick even remotely likes you.

One thing to note though, and this is a tough lesson. Just because a chick sends you a lot of text messages doesn't mean she's interested. If you're now in a weird friendship phase, then chances are she's using you to social proof herself and boost her ego while she pursues other men.