Hello guys, I came to the conclussion that i'm handling my relationship rather poorly so i'm here to ask for some advice to strenghten up.

When we first started this relationship, both of us were very passionate and the fire was burning non-stop, i maintained a really good alpha frame for the first month. At some point, i noticed that she wouldn't open up completely to me because she felt surpressed by my personality. I decided to open myself up emotionally, doing things for her, surprising her and so on... The problem was, that every time she'd ask some small things, i'd go get it for her. I didn't think anything bad of it at that point. I did realise that, the more i did so, the worst it got. From very few things, to all the time. recently, i've had the feeling that i completely lost my frame, from fun, active, energetic and mature, to inmature, stressed, bored and non-energetic. It has taken it's effect on me, my school, my work and my relationship. The deeper i get, the worst it gets ofcourse. the worst part of all is the affection that she's losing, we used to have sex daily, multiple times, great sex (she confirmed this many.. many times), hell, in the last 4 days, she only gave me 1 kiss (that used to initiate the sex or affection atleast). It feels like we're just another married couple.
She used to be very sensitive about the relationship, very sensitive towards me, now lately she's calling me on the bad parts of me, my bad sides and not seeing the good things anymore.
I always have this bad type of investment once i'm sure of my relationship, i act to fast and give myself out to much.

I wanna know some advice that could give me back my frame with not to much damage. I wanna get that feeling again of not caring to lose it and live my life, rather then focussing myself on just my relationship.

Thanks

I think the main question is, what actions considered beta did i take/do. I reflected my actions today and I gotta say that I haven't gone completely beta, at some points i did, at some i didn't.

To start from the beginning, when i went into PUA, my intentions were to find a wonderful girl to spend my life with, when i met this girl, i had the feeling that she fit into that category. The first month that we got official i already acted semi-beta. I had a great frame personality-wise, but i was always available for her, meaning i spent all my time and energy with her, every week instead of going out with friends etc. This was mainly because i never had the time to see her during the week and only during the weekends.

Eventually, things went downhill, because she got so emotionally attached to me, she had a hard time adjusting, she didn't really know how to handle things. (She never had the greatest father-figure). Her mom got divorced twice, and she couldn't get along with her stepdad. Because of the combination of my investment, and her withdrawel, i felt that something was wrong. On top of that, she had a hard time expressing her feelings aswell, so communication was pretty miserable, making me think she was hiding things. Eventually i took the initiative to confront her about it, and she confessed about her feelings, etc... It was a very good talk, helped us both grow, but on the other side, made me accept more of her actions. If she'd get mad, communicate aggressively, i'd accept it because of her history and her ''issues it led to.
During these moments, i felt like making her happy, because at times that our relationship was great, the investment from both sides were amazing. If she'd ask a favour, i'd do it for her instantly with the intention of making her feel more comfortable around me. Eventually that led to me being the dog and taking lots of shit, haha.

I'm a man of patience, i can take a lot of ''mental beatings'' because i work in a social sector where children have been assigned to by a judge since their parents are either in jail, alcoholic(s), rapists, ... meaning i have been in a very harsh environment, extending my boundaries immensely.
Ofcourse because of me taking a lot of shit untill a certain point, and eventually getting enough of it, i did went into an emotional state. I never really put a boundary on her behaviour so that's something that hasn't exactly been working in my favour. If i do tell her that she crossed the line, she gets upset etc...

The big issue at the moment is that, I have a feeling that the girl is a great catch. We share very similar interest regarding lifegoals and such, and those are very important for me. But her bad-sides. Are also extremely bad. So there's no real grey zone. When days are good, they are great, when days are bad, they are horrible. The thing i find most annoying is that because she's so young, and i have a lot of life experience, we are often at a different level. She never admits things, or accepts mine if it comes down to a disucssion about a topic. She's also very unpredictable and can be very impulsive. She also doesn't have the strength to carry me during bad days, because she has days where she cant carry herself. When i have a very bad day at work, I cannot talk to her about it, but in the meanwhile she's energetic and annoyed that i'm tired, when i tell her that my days are hard, she compares it to hers (normal highschool), and says that hers aren't easy either, but she survives. Those are moments that do get me annoyed as hell.

The combination of my work, the bad days that i can have with my girlfriend, and the pressure from school can really put me at my limits and drain my energy like a vacumecleaner clearing a sack of dust. I feel like my investment becomes minimal and that things get ''boring'' for a while. The relationship can either help me survive my week, or help me fall deeper into a hole. I think it's because of me being quite inactive at those moments that it affects her affection towards me.

That's why I'm here, to help me change my style/lifestyle and get me back in shape.

Exactly and trust me I would know(dated 4 girls like this)

It is up to you man, whether you want to survive or let her help you fall, it's your choice. Being in a relationship with a younger woman, especially if they are childish and immature is difficult. You, the older one is the one to handle your relationships, and you are the one to adjust. But if you really have difficulty to cope up with your relationship, it is your decision to still continue what you've started, or end it up. What's your choice?

Time for an update, am really fucking pissed at the moment but for other reasons.

Friday night, i went to hers, things were not that great again so i decided to just throw it out. I noticed that lately i have just been keeping things for myself making me unpredictable aswell. It was a really good conversation, she went emotional blablabla.. The day after tturned like the old days again. She started opening up again, emotionally. Ofcourse, that same night, she was very tired. No sex.

The day after (today) we were laying in bed for a rest and i was touching her ass, she was like dont, it's tickling (In an annoying way) I took it for real and started rubbing close to her V. She just went stop, it's annoying. I just went like, wow, seems like you've lost it all haven't you. I just got dressed and went downstairs, we were supposed to take a shower and i just went and told her to go take a shower solo. At this point i really got my frame back and went /care mode with no drama. She texted me saying ''please dont be mad''. I was like ''It's really frustrating''. No responds, went upstairs, she gave me a hug and started kissing me again, i really thought i tought her a lesson.

Ofcourse, we had an amazing evening again, just lots of fun, got dhv'd enormously by her mother and sister (Like really.. Big time), even my gf went like, you're really becoming the most loved person aren't you.

We start getting ready for bed, in the bathroom she gives me her good old ''I'm tired'' bullshit so i knew what was coming up. We go into bed, she just comes around, hugging me. Saying sweet things to me cause she knew i wasn't happy. I ignored them and after 5 minutes she just goes like ''I cant sleep when you're mad.. I'm really sorry babe.'' I ignored it aswell. She went ''Can you hug me tonight''? I was like ''No thanks, not in the mood'' and just turned around with my back towards her. She started sniffing and crying a bit but at that point, i really didn't care, i've been running around for this girl for ages doing shit and she cant even bother having sex? We've been together for 4 months and it feels like we're married. I love this girl to bits on every part, except sex, and this is really frustrating as hell.
I was gonna stay over tommorow night aswell but I'm really not going to, i cant be arsed being with her feeling this annoyed all day long.

It seems like the more emotional both of us gets, the less

This is what happened when you don't know how to show a woman true and proper affection.

Usually in the first or even 2nd month or so, you need to abstain from sex if you are planning to go long term (not short term fucking)). You need to show her what a true man you are, unlike the other dudes who go right into her pussy. True affection is treating her like a princess with hugs and kisses at the appropriate times. You can lay on a couch or watch movies and just holding or hugging her. Kissing her hair or neck and that's it. No tits or pussy playing either.
Know how to make a good dinner to impress your girl. It does not need to be fancy either. You can easily cobble up a few things like salad, chicken, etc and a bottle of wine just to make her special. You play this right and then she'll fall right into you. Eventually sex comes along. To get more sex, you need to keep showing her affection and respect. Sex is the by product of your actions she rewards you. Now you can play Alpha games on her if she's insecure by her giving you sex as though it's her job. But eventually, she'll find she is being used and that you are really not genuinely wanting to know her. Rather you want to just fuck her and she does not want a life partner or husband who's only interest in her is a sex slave. No woman wants this. That's fine if that's what you want in the short term, but long term, you need to do MORE than just use PUA skills.

Trying to think of some ways to improve this situation, I think there's a lot more going on then her just not feeling it. I just remembered a situation we had about 2-3 weeks ago. There were times where we'd have sex and i couldn't remain hard because i forced myself to constantly stop cumming for her pleasure, she thought it was because she wasn't good enough etc etc... Ever since those moments, initiating sex has been very strange, it even feels unnatural.
It's pretty messed up when your relationship is really good, but the sex part turns it upside down. It frustrates me like hell, leaving me pissed or annoyed for the rest of the night or day after.

I do wonder if more distance would help, we are together quite a lot lately, times are good, we do have our own room to breathe but i think it doesn't really benefit the sexual aspect. My girl is quite sensitive though, so going cold out of the blues will really damage her emotionally. We are connected in a very good way.

In a relationship, all expectations will lead to suffering and that's what both of you are heading towards. Most and in fact a lot of women are sensitive to a number of expectations mainly because they typically haven't gone through the proper withdrawal process of their last man even if they claimed that they had worked through that. In her mind, she is expected to provide the same level of services of her last man, but this itself is unfair because she never let go of whoever is in her mind. Rather than being alone and working through this (most women hate to be alone), they found a man like yourself and then become exclusive or marry only to have their unfounded expectations lead them to relationship failure. Now if you talk to her directly, it can compound the problem that make her feel she's the instigator and then you're cooked. By NC or soft next her, it makes her feel even more guilty because she did not deliver what she believe her expectation of your sexual needs and your withdrawal justifies it. See why all expectations in relationship lead to emotional suffering!

Ideally, both men and women should come into the relationship as stable vehicles, but depending where you live, sometimes this is an impossibility, so some where along the line things must be addressed via communication or best yet, don't date them unless what you're really after is just SEX and get it as long as you can out of her. But I think you are looking more for a stable relationship with a woman right?

Hope this helps.

HOLE - E - FUCK. Thats bad man. Real bad. Guys with decent relationship game can keep attraction in their women high for 4+ years. Average guys can keep it high for 1-3. But 4 MONTHS. Thats quite an achievement.

This girl is the plague my friend NEXT her.
Daddy issues? Check.
Mother incapable of a healthy relationship? Check.
Lost attraction for you? Check
Drama queen? Check

Let me tell you a little about my relationship, hopefully it will enlighten you as to what a relationship CAN be like and inspire you to ditch this bitch.

My girl has NEVER EVER, NOT EVEN ONCE denied me sex (outside medical reasons) after over THREE YEARS.
She constantly goes out of her way to please me. If im horny I just put her hand on my cock. Her pussy is ALWAYS dripping wet for me. She is happy and upbeat 95% of the time. Thats NO JOKE. When i have a bad day she tries to make me feel better she cooks and gives massages and even does my fucking washing etc.

This idea that you WANT to WORK on your relationship is FUCKED UP. NO relationship should be work, for either party, EVER. There are thousands and thousands of women out there who are HAPPY ALL THE TIME and will TREAT YOU LIKE A KING.... Knowing that, how can you possibly justify putting up with this little buzzkill of a creature you have in your life right now? NEXT

That's why i came to this forum indeed, because 4 months, and no sex for 2.5 weeks is very fucked up. I realise that very well, compared to my old relationships.
Many Pua's would just tell a girl like this to fuck off, but I'd atleast like to know the reason of it before I move. She is indeed very unstable and at times very frustrating but then again, after 3 years of sarging, on a different part, she's amazing. I'm currently at a state where i'm ready to let go, only if letting go is the only way to save my happiness. I'd like to see where this is heading, I'll take my distance for now, if she just goes drama-mode / ignore-mode again i'll tell her how i feel and think about it and if that doesn't help things move then i am out.