Ok guys. So i been dating this girl for about 2 years now. I started off as the cocky funny alpha, always busting on her. I noticed that into this relasionship my lines started wearing off. I do not think it is cause i completly lost my abilities but rather once you get so deep into a relasionship and know somebody so well i find it REALLY hard to demonstrate cocky funny because you already know everything about them. Not to mention most cocky funny stuff is borderline mean and i think in my LTR my GF would like me to be supportive rather than busting on her all the time, even though that is what she fell for in the beginning.

Does anyone have experiance with this where they prevailed?

I am a learner by example so if you have any lines you can share that would be great.

Thanks

Hey bro, I totally know what you mean. I'm in a long term relationship myself, and I had a few of them.

Many guys who never had them are not even aware of some specific dynamics that take place in LTR. First of all u can't wear your mask that long. Or another way to put it - you can't constantly be your TOP self. Over time your girl discovers some aspects of the real (or ordinary) you. This happens because wearing a mask takes energy and when she's around you 24/7 you get tired really fast. Can you relate to this?

This is not a big deal though. This is normal, expected and not going to break anything. What is is when you fail tests. And any girl you're with is going to periodically test you. It's not a conscious thing, she is not aware she's doing it, but she will be doing it. It is hardwired. She'll be testing your confidence by trying to breach it and if she succeeds she'll gradually begin to lose respect for you and eventually leave you.

So to be successful in LTR u gotta be centered and have a hard edge.You cannot be afraid of losing her. What gives you power in a relationship is that you can always accept losing her, while she can't accept losing you.

But I got carried away a little. Your question was about being cocky/funny. But it is related to what I wrote before. U totally can be cocky/funny as long as she RESPECTS YOU. I.e. you're coping well with the tests. Otherwise it'll come across as incongruent.

Also, being cocky/funny involves teasing her. That's what it's all about. U'll have a hard time doing it if you're afraid of losing her. Most of the time teasing is slightly risky. It's important to stay centered if occasionally u get a bad reaction. Most of the time she'll love it though.

Watch her mood. If it's playful you're good to go. If it's somehow negative u better make it playful first.

Hope this helped you, and if you have any questions I'll be happy to elaborate

That's normal. Cocky/funny is a tool to create attraction. But as your relationship grows, that tool becomes obsolete, and is actually detrimental in creating a deeper emotional connection that a LTR demands. Simple as that. Although a good sense of humour (but not teasing or cocky) will always benefit you in all stages.

_________________
Before she can respect you, you need to respect yourself.

Fly is right about it being an attraction tool. I disagree however that it can become detrimental. It could , if used excessively , but then again ,in excess , anything can be detrimental.

Anyway , this is good stuff.Teasing is a great way to keep things interesting in an LTR. But it kinda has to be in tone with your character. I'm a little cocky by nature , so teasing fits well with me. I'd bust on a girl for random stuff all the time. If you're worried about not being 'mean' , you can always throw in some calibration. Here's an example:

*She messes up cooking for you or whatever*
This is a opportunity to rip on her a bit , right ?
Obviously ,delivery is important and is what sets teasing apart from asshole-hood.

Her:"I kinda screwed it up ^^".
You:"Yea , you're terrible at this."
Her:"Shut uuup...it's not that bad"
You:"Well,it's not the worst I've ever seen..."
Her:"seeee ?"
You:"Yeah,no , the last time you cooked it was even worse."

(again,delivery is important right ? but if you feel you're touching a nerve you can always defuse it some calibration.In this case , 'bringing yourself down' is a good way to do it.)
Her:"*seems to be getting upset*"
You:"Hey,don't worry ,I suck at cooking too. I'm probably worse than you".
Her:"*bla bla , yes you are *"
You: *Take a bite* -" Nope , you're definitely worse".

Sometimes it might be mean , but there's a slight difference between 'cute mean' and 'asshole mean'.Anyway,teasing is about situational humor. You might know everything about her , but there's always gonna be new situations in which you 2 will find yourselves in.

Personally ,I love teasing. I'd do it for the most random things you can imagine. But obviously you can't go all retard about it. Know when it's ok to play and know when you should be there to support her.

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1st UM YES!!!!!!!! THAT IS EXACTLY WHAT HAPPENED, IT WAS JUST TOO MUCH WORK WHEN I WAS ALWAYS WITH HER!

2nd I FEEL AS IF I NEVER FAILED A TEST UNTIL 3-4 MONTHS, THEN STARTED FAILING MORE AND MORE I REALLY NEED SOME WORK HERE. WHERE IS THE BEST PLACE TO HELP ME WITH SHIT TESTS?????

The others are right. Nobody is cocky and funny all the time. Just having the ability to whip it out every now and then and surprise her and make her laugh with it once in awhile is sufficient.

You're fine.

Basically those tests are about her demanding you do things her way instead of your way. And women are good at that, she can frame the situation in a way that will make you feel guilty and give in to her demands. She'll use emotions, will complain about you being heartless, not caring about her, etc. That's manipulation.

There are, however, legitimate cases when she asks for some improvements that don't go against your values and common sense. U need to distinguish between those.

And when you recognize she is manipulating you and making inadequate demands u need to be stern and disregard her wining. That's what passing the test is all about.

Don't fall into the trap of actually feeling guilty and doing what she wants. That's failing the test. You need to REFUSE, period. And your ultimate weapon if the situation calls for it is hinting (preferably in a subtle manner) that if she has a problem with your decision she can go find herself a pussy that will do whatever she wants. You are a man and u're not gonna do it. Along those lines.

This is really good stuff guys thanks... i am struggling i think cause... well heres an example of a text message convo like wth?


Her- i am at i hop
Me you should.bring.me some
Her (jokely) no i hate u
Me Good. Makes it better! Cmon we can wrestle after so u can take some hate out. But im not gonna hold back. If i pin u i have my way
Her what are you doing?

....

How the hell do i deal with this attitude... i wanna say dam did that get u that exvited but i dunno.. help???

Depends. Did she kill the convo because she thought you were being lame? If so, administer light punishment by not replying to her text until hours later. Did she kill the convo because she didn't know what to say? If so, answer her text and pretend nothing happened.

_________________
Before she can respect you, you need to respect yourself.