Hey guys, it's been many moons since posting, but I have a concern I'd like to bounce around and see what you think.


I have noticed an odd occurrence. It seems the more attractive a woman is, the more dishrag her personality. I understand the mechanics behind it, but I am just trying to figure out a way around it.

Case and point: I had a day two recently with an absolutely stunning brunette. We went to a museum, had fun, kino (accepted) the whole nine yards, then the place closed, so we walked over to another part of town, wait drove and then got supper at some Greek place. Then, she just sort of let it die.

Here's the issue, she seemed way more passive than myself and any of the conversation was geared more or less with my driving it forward. I except alot of passivity, especially at the beginning and normally it's 80:20, but eventually you pull the girl out of her shell, or get her more comfortable and it switches 40:60. This never seems to happen the more attractive a girl is. Why? Is it because she has never needed to work, or have social skills, or is it because she's just not into me (it happens, not everyone is into you). I normally have no issue building comfort, we spent six hours with each other and went to several places, but it still remained in the cautious, in the shell, phase and this happens alot with really attractive women. Thoughts?

Hey. I posted a somewhat similar article about "humour not found in most girls", and I touched a bit on this. But only a bit. Don't expect a full explanation.
The thing is, most of the time, it's not us. It's them. They are the ones who just sit back and let us do all the work. And while it's fairly satisfying to control the frame and know that you're the one that guides the conversation, it gets a tad boring and too familiar sometimes. Why can't we just, for once, have a conversation. Not talk a conversation.
Most of the times, it's always one sided. Except when they ramble about their day and you don't listen. That is when you enter no man's land.

I think that's the problem, you didn't let her work. In my experience, just shutting up for a while will usually get a girl to invest in the conversation. Or you can challenge her to tell an awesome story, to share a secret, or by simply asking what she thinks about the subject at hand. Let me add that I rarely have boring conversations with women (or men for that matter), I simply do not have the patience for that. Either they interest me, or I cut the conversation short as fast as I can. Usually, people turn out to be quite interesting when you actually listen to what they have to say.

EDIT:
@Testicles
I find an 'it's not me, it's them'-attitude is generally indicative of an inability to recognize and therefore learn from mistakes.

_________________
One of the most useful things you will ever learn about body language.

I think she may have just been up tight. She was a religious-y type, which doesn't always lend itself to alot of fun. She was also the type where I led, she even admitted to dumping a guy who didn't have any plans or wasn't "aggressive enough" it could have been I just kept driving it instead of making her a partner in it.

She did talk quite a bit, I was just moving it and I have no problem with silence and at several points just went on silent running, which of course she picked up the gauntlet. It could be I didn't do it enough and yeah, I think a couple of good stories would have engaged a little more, now that I think about it.

I normally have very good, entertaining conversations with folks, but in the case of 9s or above, it doesn't always happen. I'll take it as a learning experience.

See at that point, my work is done. If I can get them to talk and keep talking, I just relax back and let them work for awhile, they'll normally catch themselves, ask about me and then continue on. I take it more as a sign of comfort.


Either way, fine posts. Thanks gents.