Okay, next step: Question - why do girls flake?

Texting
Waiting to long
Being too quick

Texting sucks, Mails suck, Chat suck - it kills attraction because you become predictable. You becoming "small", becoming small letters on a screen and to larger than life. There is no sensation, no danger in this - girl is in control. Girl in control is no arousal.

So texting makes flakes likely.

By the girl on the beach, I was assume that she is a solid number, I was waiting too long. If you are waiting to long she started to ask herself "What does this guy want from me?" and you are out. Or she feel uncomfortable that you waited so long and suddenly you came in strong - sign of being needy. Kills attraction.

Being to quick: Of course: Needy.

But also every one of these aspects are depending on value: The more value you got the more likely "bing too quick" or "waiting too long" becomes irrelevant. George Clooney and Brad Pit can call for sure whenever they like and the girl will be excited and happy.

But I am not George Clooney nor Brad Pit - so I have to figure out how fill a contact with so much value and sensation that the effect of "too early" and "too late" becomes irrelevant or at least less important.

Well, good question. How to fill a girl with sensation and understanding that your call adds value to her life?

I went to the beach: No set. Big waste of time. It seems that this spot is drying up because we are close to the Eastern Holiday Season.

Street: I opened a walking that, we were both heading in the same direction. It turns out that she was much more prettier from behind and was fairly uncomfortable with the situation. So I went of quickly. I nevertheless I give myself 0.2 for that because for trying and a growing social calibration.

10.35 : 5 so far

Awesome!

I went to the beach again and did a very good 2set: Number close. I am giving myself 2 points for that! Good looking girls - tourist girls so they leave in a while but they were amazed to the possibility to hang out withe me during that time. After leaving they texted me immediately. I did not answered it, but it this is a good sign.

Also great: I met a guy who is running a location here and he was impressed to see me with these girls and wants to hang out with me to get in touch with more girls. He is well connected her. That is very good for social proof. I am giving myself 2 points for that.

And 0.5 points for being consequently moving and trying and getting more and more calibrated.

Also a funny thing: I met a very nice girl in the lift of my house. Suddenly she was yawning and I started to tease her, it was fun, and she was laughing when she was leaving. When I see her again I can may continue with that. +0.5 for social calibration and having some situational charme.

+3

= 13.35 good points : 5 bad points = 2.67 ratio

My goal: Tomorrow I will break the 3 ratio!

For better calibration:

I am talking a bit quickly. I have to slow down my talk a bit, talk more calm and more confident.

I am talking a bit head strong and intellectual, I have to mix a bit more fun into it. Intrigue the girls more, be more playful. I need to mix it up more. Have to think about some stuff that could help me to be more fun and more emotional.

I have to get more personal, talking about the girls and how they appear to me, what makes them interesting, how they make me feel and make me curios. I am good at small talk, keep a conversation going or have deep talk - but I have to get more personal at some points, to bring on the table: This is about you and me now. I am to self centered.

So my tasks for a better calibration:

1 Calm down, speak slowly and more intense
2 Get a transition to bring on the table: This here is about you and me, now
3 More emotional topics, more fun, intrigue emotionally - I have to mix it up

Okay, I am one a run! Next number close!

I met the girl from the lift again. And this time I really delivered "game" - it was fun, interesting, personal: I was asking if she has slept this night and she was laughing and from there we had a very easy and good conversation. I told her that I am very much into art and she was excited, because she loves it, too. We agreed to get to an art gallery one day. It ended with a number close and she get directly back to me with: "It was nice to meet you!"

And she is nice, really. Stunning face. So I am happy with this result.

I am giving myself 3 points for that!

Still: I am am talking to much and maybe with a bit too much energy because it is not my mother tongue (and I still drink too much coffee, dam it, I have to stop it).

And I also opened my first lager group: a 5 set with 2 guys and 3 girls. I am not very good with guys, I seldom care and I am not so much into typical boys interests, so I have to work on that, to become more social calibrated and to gain more social options. I could hold the conversation with the group about 5 minutes and one lady gave me some IOIs. But I am not so good in this mixed group thing, but I did it, that what counts.

I am giving myself 0.5 for the mixed group.

So my points: 16:85 : 5 = 3,37

Oh my god, what is going on?

The lift of my apartment seems to be a hot chick hot magnet???

I entered the lift and a smoking hot babe entered it with me. I swear she was a 8.5, the body of a godness and the appearance of an exotic dancer but with style. She gave me a big smile and I started talking: Where are you from, do you live here, nice to meet you - all that stuff, nothing "big game" but she liked it. She does not live here, so she is not a target, she just visits her parents here, but damn, she was beautiful. And I am giving myself the respect that I could open her and hold a nice talk she liked enjoyed: +0.5 points for me because I had the "cojones" to open her!

When I can open that kind of girl, and she responses well, I am capable of much more!

Lets take a look at this "lift girl" number close. Why did it work so well?

1. There was a feeling of sympathy right from the start.
2. I was humorous, kidding and teasing her a bit and quite playful. Show her that I am "okay cool guy" who has no issues with the presence of a women or makes a big deal oft it.
3. I had a bridge on the second encounter, something we both know by remembering "the little teasing"
4. I showed real personal interest in her, not just a nervous "she is hot, I need to know her"
5. I opened up and showed who I really am, what I am deeply interested in (art, creativity) - that was the way where it really started to work nicely
6. I did not hesitated to ask her and show interest in keeping in touch with her - it was mutual. No social needyness, it was just right to show that interest to keep in touch with her.
7. I was able to demonstrate some higher value (my art, my knowledge of art) that suited to her interests.

I think it worked well because I could show who I really am, what I am really care for.

Interesting: I made a 2 set numbers close yesterday and the girls wanted to go out and have some fun. I was scheduling a date for tomorrow. Suddenly they came up with a message: "Hey, we going out for tonight. Not sure if we want to go out tomorrow again. Come over here and join us!"

No way. I will ignore them. If I get into this I will give away my lead on them. This is not gonna happen. I rather give them up totally, but there is no way that I will AFC myself and run after them. I learned to much in the last few weeks, I have options now. No need to downgrade myself.

Damn it. I got caught in the texting trap. When you start preaching others "don't do it" your have to make sure you do not fall for your bad habits by yourself.

I told the "girl in the lift" that I have some language skills in several languages. This morning she texted me if I could help her to practice some of her language skills. Well, I had a bad feeling about it - switching from personal to business. But I also need some practice in Spanish and may could gain some social proof by the girl - so I get back to her, that this might be a good idea.

It turns out that I may did everything wrong form here? We agreed to meet today to check out if we can get along with this and tried to be a bit playful and it ended up that she was a kind of pissed. Fuck texting. I really have to stay away from that. It so easy to get trapped in something you don't want!

Well I am not sure, if I can correct this from here. I am pretty sure I lost my value in someway while I was responding to her ideas and her lead of the situation and especially on her lead to a non-personal level. It sucks!

My mistakes:

Get back to her by texting.
Being cheap and easy to reach
Took her lead
Took her lead from personal to a non-personal matter
Cocky funny texting - bad idea if you are in a non-personal level with a girl or in a mixed zone, very bad idea then
The need to explain myself and calm her down after the CF texting trap - this was bad, I think I have handled it okay (could have been worst) but anyway, I have to be honest to myself - this did not go well.

Lessons:

1. Don't fall in the easy trap of texting - call her or schedule a date, don't try to get "something" out of texting
2. Don't get easy back to her, if she is texting: Send her a text back, that you call her or schedule a date. Tell her that you do not have that much time at the moment but that you are more interested in her than plain text
3. Beware of the change from personal to non-personal (happens easily while texting!!)
4. Dont give away your lead of the situation, once happened it's easy to get it back!
5. Stay away form CF, especially stay away of CF texting, and with girls you are not (yet) personal with. CF is exclusive for the personal level in direct social situations. Dont use it, when you are non-personal with her or in a mixed "not sure yet" level with a girl!

Identified sticking point:

I have problems do identify what is personal and what is non-personal between me and a woman!

and

I have problems do identify when it is personal and when it is non-personal between me and a woman!

Wow, what a major letdown. She did not come to our date. No message, no excuse, she just simply did not show up.

That is rude. Rude beyond reason. And ruder than everything I ever experienced so far. Okay, I made a small joke, it was small, it was not a big thing - even if I did it in a foreign language, I really could not see that something was so wrong with it, that she has to behave with that level of social rudeness. And she was interested to get something from me - even for that case there is normally a basic social protocol. This is just plain rude.

But I knew it. I saw this coming. Somehow I knew that she will not show up. But nevertheless - this is a very bad feeling.

Just for the record, the text:

She: Hey, I was wondering, if you may can teach me some lessons in your lenguage
Me: Well, if you got some lessons in Spanish for me in exchange, we may have a deal
She: Nice. Starting today? Just a bit?
Me: Okay, let's meet at X about X o'clock!
She: Nice. Bring a book and a pencil with you for the case you want to write down something?
Me: Well, it seems that I run into a very serious and tough teacher (*that was my joke, folks!!)
She: Hey, I am not serious, but I want to learn seriously, not just killing time!
Me: Just kidding, let's give it a try, I have to check your capabilities and then you get honest feedback if that will work.

No answer. No show up at the scheduled time and place.

Honestly, never had something like this before in my entire life. And we life in the same house, so we will run into each other again. Her lack of a basic social protocol how to handle this, astonishes me, to be honest.

I talked to some guys and they told me that I should not take things like that girl not showing up too seriously at least not personal - that is the way most local girls treat guys from foreign countries her: You are secondary may even more third class humans. As long as the "get something" from you, you are interesting, if not: You are out! They don't like to get close, personal or attached to them, because in most cases they are tourists, students or leaving pretty soon after being engaged or bringing up family troubles.

So I have to deal with this kind of rejections. Seems to be pretty normal.