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I think your at the point where you are not getting anything out of the relationship that you want. I honestly, think you should look her in the eye and tell her exactly that, youing her in the eye "Im not getting what I want out of the relationship, I do not want this relationship anymore, I want more than you are giving, Me and you are not together anymore" Cut all ties with her, no sex, go out with other women, make sure she doesnt see that the break up doesnt bother you. This is the last step you have left to take, to take control of the situation. This is the only chance you have left of having the relationship with this girl that you want, and she might never come back but you cant be afraid of that. If she breaks it off with you, then she controls it all, and will never come back.
Won't this appear needy? As in, I'm saying that "I need more from you than you're giving me", I dunno, it seems kind of needy to me... I can see the value in breaking up a second time, and how it could possibly flip the control of the relationship back to me if done correctly... but I don't know, it seems a bit risky. Like you say, I would have to be ready for the chance that she doesn't come back, but I'm not ready for that. I really do want to fix the relationship. (This is just between me and you guys, I know that I ever show her this.)
She won't necessarily break it off with me. I mean, she's still messaging me every day, and *occasionally* shows affection. She's either checking that I'll still give her attention, or simply just wanting to talk-- either way, it shows that she's still a bit interested. I think I could regain slowly gain control back without having to break it off, if I make her chase me a little. I just need some advice as to how I can make her chase me.
But yeah, overall I think breaking it off a second time would be too risky. Like you say, she might not come back. Also, even if she did come back, she might just go through the exact same process and end up acting this way again.
So how do I make her chase me? How do I act when she messages me, when should I organize to see her (only when convenient for me, or avoid it altogether, etc?), and how should I act around her in-person? Thankyou
