I always show my true feelings

Btw, she started talking back and putting attention to her ex already, so I think i'm pretty much done with her. Even if she'd be begging at me, I would think twice and won't accept. Even my family hated that girl because she was messing with me without really knowing it. I've never felt like she cared about me as much as I did for her.

Well, first step to recovery is to stop stalking her... Yo dont need and want to know who is she putting attention on... It is not of your concern now.

First off , when relationships don't work the first time I rarely ever think about getting back together. Not any time soon ,anyway.

Say after 2-3 years when you both will have dated other people and still believe that you are the best match for each other , miss each other , than yeah , a second shot at it would be good because you both have a different , healthier perspective ,more life experience and a + to the "I know what I have and will appreciate it this time" factor.

What you should do ?

Go NC(No Contact). Now,some people misinterpret this.No contact doesn't mean not initiating conversation with her. It means cutting every form of visual / audio or written reminder of her.

-If you have her SPAM ID , delete that shit.You don't need your eyes glancing at the bottom right of your screen everytime someone comes online , just to see if it's her. At some point you will , she'll be online and you'll start wondering what she's doing / who she's talking to , you'll see her profile picture , you'll secretly hope she'll start a convo with you...all those things are very unhealthy. Delete the contact ID and feel liberated.

-Facebook. Same shit. Unfriend her. Why ? You DO NOT need to see her profile updates , pics she's taking in clubs or whatever with this guy or that guy. You don't wanna see her conversations with other people either. And most importantly , you do not want to see when / if her relationship status updates. Unfriend her and unfriend most of her friends which you don't care about. She might get tagged in their pics. Again , all this only contributes to mindfuck and nothing else.

-Phone number. If you think you can control yourself,no reason to delete it. I didn't delete my ex'es number when we broke up , I never was the 'drunk caller' . When I'm drunk I just don't give a fuck and hit on anything that moves (almost) , I'm a happy drunk as opposed to the sad ones. Anyway,it's your call here.

-Photos / emotional gifts (stuff like stuffed animals , love letters , you get the point). Destroy them or banish them. If you don't wanna destroy them (I didn't destroy mine. It seems stupid to destroy any evidence of 3 years of your life -my case- or 1.5 of yours) put everything in a box and stash it somewhere you won't stumble across them on a daily basis. I stashed it in my garage.

-Clothes. If she got you a cool t-shirt / dress shirt / shoes / stuff like that ,no reason to give it up. Wear that shit if you like it. I have no problem wearing clothes she bought me on different occasions. But again,if you find it difficult , stash those away too.

-Sex tapes / hot / nude pics of her or of you both. That shit has to go. Either you delete them or put them on a flash drive which you bury in cement under the foundation of your house. This is the first and most powerful 'regret' a man will have. My best friend went through a brake-up about 9 months ago (he had 2.5 years with her,something like that). The idiot didn't delete his home made porn with her. Needless to say he was jerking off like a dog and then would fall in a vicious depression. Eventually I convinced him to move everything on a flash drive. He then gave it to me ( he said he wants me to kick him in the balls if he ever asks for it back and I consider he's not over her). To this day I still have it. That girl was insanely hot and for 9 months I'm still not sure weather I should take a look or not. I REALLY wanna see that chick naked but something about seeing my bro's dick is very unsettling. I probably won't do it. .

When you clean these things up , make sure you did it properly. I recently found a love letter from my ex with whom I broke quite recently in one of my books that I did not open in 1.5 years. Needless to say I was pretty fucked up after seeing and reading it. I felt like running back on my knees to her - thank God I didn't. Anyway,make SURE there's no reminders left.

-Music. DO NOT listen any song that makes you think about her. Nothing about heart brake / cheating girls / love. Nothing like that. Spend 10 hours on making a pump-up playlist. Put in there songs that get you fired up. For me rap & hip-hop works the best. Those beats turn me into an animal and I feel invincible. Play me a love song and I'm on the floor rolling in tears. I exaggerate ofcourse , but my point stands. You might think you find closure in love songs , but you're only torturing yourself. Your mind is very flexible. If you surround yourself with positive music , and a positive environment ,you'll find it much easier to get over her.

-Hobbies and Passions. Definitely work on those. Hit the gym like a beast , learn a new dance style if you're into dancing , learn MMA. Pretty much any physical activity will release dopamine and endorphines. You want those , it will keep your mind happy and positive. You will relapse from time to time and find yourself in a dark spot. At which point your pump-up playlist should be used to it's full effect.

-Don't masturbate. Seriously just don't. At all. I mean NO FAPPING. For how long ? For as long as you can. I mean that ! If you can reach 3 months,YES 90 DAYS , you're golden. I realized that after my brake-up , during the orgasm and a few minutes afterwards you're all "Fuck her,I'm so good without her". 5 minutes later your curled up in a ball sad and pathetic. The higher your testosterone levels are , the more emotionally stable you'll be. I haven't wrestled with the snake for almost 30 days now. My sex drive is through the roof and I feel invincible. Also , you feel an unstoppable urge to go out and socialize whenever you see a sexy pic. If you're out and see a sexy girl , you'll be all over her.
The best part ? That emotional stability I was talking about.You won't feel as sad and pathetic any more. Not even close. Add to that the energy boost you'll feel and you're golden.
Don't think it's easy though. Every time I see a hot pic on facebook my hands shake. I wanna devour that shit.The temptation will seem unbearable at the time. Turn it into motivation to do...well,anything , and you'll be very happy.

-Lastly , being single after all that time will enable you to 're-acquaint' with yourself. You'll find it pretty awesome to be single again. You'll think of her less and less and start enjoying your own self more and more.

With NC , if she initiates a convo with you , you can either ignore it or respond. But responding is a thin line to walk. You might relapse pretty nasty. If you do respond , keep it short and casual. Anything beyond that should be shot down immediately.


Again,a failed relationship is failed. Think of it as a car. You buy a car and you don't really like it. It doesn't suit you. Would you buy that same car again ? or would you rather go out and try different brands ?
After you tried several other cars and you're not as pleased with any of them as you were with the original one, you might consider buying it back. But at least now you come from a place of abundance and actually know how good it is,right ?
Besides , there are tons of different brands and models , chances are VERY HIGH you'll find one that suits you great,if not perfectly.

Trust the fact that everyone here can sign: NOBODY EVER got girl back by texting, calling, begging, stalking and acting depressed...

Wow thank you guys those are very good answers and replys !

Actually, I talked to a psychologist for relationships, as well as a lot of experienced friends and they all told me the same thing...

1. If I still want to suffer, i'll be waiting for her forever. And if she comes back one day, I will be happy "for a moment" till she's still unstable and make me suffer. *My answer to that is: no, I don't want to suffer anymore...*

2. If I don't want to suffer I should move on because as described, a girl like that is too unstable for a stable man like me. I love to have a routine, I love to be used to the other one, while breaking the routine from time to time. But i'm never in doubt! Lots of people told me that someday it will work out for me with a good girl...


Btw, she started talking back and putting attention to her ex already, so I think i'm pretty much done with her. Even if she'd be begging at me, I would think twice and won't accept. Even my family hated that girl because she was messing with me without really knowing it. I've never felt like she cared about me as much as I did for her.

To answer the other guy up there, I am a lover boy hell yeah, but i'm a man as well. I don't come whenever she needed help with small things, I see my friends and do stuff I want whenever I want. But yes, I 100% agree that I was gifting too many things to her and was being predictive...

She had a urinary problem, I would buy her SPAM pills without her even asking me, just because I cared about her. But she wasn't doing the same thing at all! I've never ever seen her do anything to help me in those 1 year and 8 months relationship...

I'm young, i'm only 20. I guess I have the time to build up a good relationship with a girl that will tell me everything, that's gonna be 100% honest and not a cheater. I'm a very confident guy but that girl was so not confident that we were making love 1x/2 weeks. She wanted to hide her body and bootie, when doing it she was doing barely nothing but laying down on the bed... Our sexual life was total sh*t!

My good friends told me that the sexual life of a healthy relationship should be me and her doing anything the other one wanted them to do. Accomplishing goals into sexuality is like accomplishing goals for the relationship! I pretty much need a confident, non cheater, intelligent and open minded girl for a good relationship. That girl didn't communicate AT ALL...

Like let's say I didn't like something she does, I was being totally honest with her and I communicated on my side to tell her I accept "farts" but she shouldn't abuse farts because it brings my libido down... When being honest, she would become totally rude, ignore me and treat me like sh*t. I wasn't "attacking" her, I was just being honest and trying to fix a problem in the relationship.

Well, that girl will finish alone just like her retarded alcoolic, money player & suicide crazy depressed mother, lol...

Have you thought maybe the reason she's being crazy is because she's trying to dump you?!? You're exhibiting some form of mental instability by being a stalker and having illusions of maybe it's not even true. They have a term for that kind of behavior you know. So I think you are playing a double standard here that it's not your fault but it's all hers and her family -- a classic pointing the fingers at others for your failure.

A clinically sane woman does not respect a beta male; it only respects an Alpha male. That is their inherent trait. A woman will passionately make love to a man early on to try and win his heart. If she's acting like a dead log for you to have sex; she's probably doing this out of self-pitying you. You're a looser, but I still give it to you anyways. That's really more of a sign of an insecure girl, or a girl just needing sex to fill the urge but she's has no passion for you. That's not a sign of her being crazy or bipolar. Any sane girl who have sex with a beta male will do exactly the same. Lifeless, like a prostitute waiting for you (the beta male) to cum -- are we done yet scenario.

I hope you will change, because the problem isn't with the girls you're with, it is you.

Quote:
First off , when relationships don't work the first time I rarely ever think about getting back together. Not any time soon ,anyway.

Say after 2-3 years when you both will have dated other people and still believe that you are the best match for each other , miss each other , than yeah , a second shot at it would be good because you both have a different , healthier perspective ,more life experience and a + to the "I know what I have and will appreciate it this time" factor.

What you should do ?

Go NC(No Contact). Now,some people misinterpret this.No contact doesn't mean not initiating conversation with her. It means cutting every form of visual / audio or written reminder of her.

-If you have her SPAM ID , delete that shit.You don't need your eyes glancing at the bottom right of your screen everytime someone comes online , just to see if it's her. At some point you will , she'll be online and you'll start wondering what she's doing / who she's talking to , you'll see her profile picture , you'll secretly hope she'll start a convo with you...all those things are very unhealthy. Delete the contact ID and feel liberated.

-Facebook. Same shit. Unfriend her. Why ? You DO NOT need to see her profile updates , pics she's taking in clubs or whatever with this guy or that guy. You don't wanna see her conversations with other people either. And most importantly , you do not want to see when / if her relationship status updates. Unfriend her and unfriend most of her friends which you don't care about. She might get tagged in their pics. Again , all this only contributes to mindfuck and nothing else.

-Phone number. If you think you can control yourself,no reason to delete it. I didn't delete my ex'es number when we broke up , I never was the 'drunk caller' . When I'm drunk I just don't give a fuck and hit on anything that moves (almost) , I'm a happy drunk as opposed to the sad ones. Anyway,it's your call here.

-Photos / emotional gifts (stuff like stuffed animals , love letters , you get the point). Destroy them or banish them. If you don't wanna destroy them (I didn't destroy mine. It seems stupid to destroy any evidence of 3 years of your life -my case- or 1.5 of yours) put everything in a box and stash it somewhere you won't stumble across them on a daily basis. I stashed it in my garage.

-Clothes. If she got you a cool t-shirt / dress shirt / shoes / stuff like that ,no reason to give it up. Wear that shit if you like it. I have no problem wearing clothes she bought me on different occasions. But again,if you find it difficult , stash those away too.

-Sex tapes / hot / nude pics of her or of you both. That shit has to go. Either you delete them or put them on a flash drive which you bury in cement under the foundation of your house. This is the first and most powerful 'regret' a man will have. My best friend went through a brake-up about 9 months ago (he had 2.5 years with her,something like that). The idiot didn't delete his home made porn with her. Needless to say he was jerking off like a dog and then would fall in a vicious depression. Eventually I convinced him to move everything on a flash drive. He then gave it to me ( he said he wants me to kick him in the balls if he ever asks for it back and I consider he's not over her). To this day I still have it. That girl was insanely hot and for 9 months I'm still not sure weather I should take a look or not. I REALLY wanna see that chick naked but something about seeing my bro's dick is very unsettling. I probably won't do it. .

When you clean these things up , make sure you did it properly. I recently found a love letter from my ex with whom I broke quite recently in one of my books that I did not open in 1.5 years. Needless to say I was pretty fucked up after seeing and reading it. I felt like running back on my knees to her - thank God I didn't. Anyway,make SURE there's no reminders left.

-Music. DO NOT listen any song that makes you think about her. Nothing about heart brake / cheating girls / love. Nothing like that. Spend 10 hours on making a pump-up playlist. Put in there songs that get you fired up. For me rap & hip-hop works the best. Those beats turn me into an animal and I feel invincible. Play me a love song and I'm on the floor rolling in tears. I exaggerate ofcourse , but my point stands. You might think you find closure in love songs , but you're only torturing yourself. Your mind is very flexible. If you surround yourself with positive music , and a positive environment ,you'll find it much easier to get over her.

-Hobbies and Passions. Definitely work on those. Hit the gym like a beast , learn a new dance style if you're into dancing , learn MMA. Pretty much any physical activity will release dopamine and endorphines. You want those , it will keep your mind happy and positive. You will relapse from time to time and find yourself in a dark spot. At which point your pump-up playlist should be used to it's full effect.

-Don't masturbate. Seriously just don't. At all. I mean NO FAPPING. For how long ? For as long as you can. I mean that ! If you can reach 3 months,YES 90 DAYS , you're golden. I realized that after my brake-up , during the orgasm and a few minutes afterwards you're all "Fuck her,I'm so good without her". 5 minutes later your curled up in a ball sad and pathetic. The higher your testosterone levels are , the more emotionally stable you'll be. I haven't wrestled with the snake for almost 30 days now. My sex drive is through the roof and I feel invincible. Also , you feel an unstoppable urge to go out and socialize whenever you see a sexy pic. If you're out and see a sexy girl , you'll be all over her.
The best part ? That emotional stability I was talking about.You won't feel as sad and pathetic any more. Not even close. Add to that the energy boost you'll feel and you're golden.
Don't think it's easy though. Every time I see a hot pic on facebook my hands shake. I wanna devour that shit.The temptation will seem unbearable at the time. Turn it into motivation to do...well,anything , and you'll be very happy.

-Lastly , being single after all that time will enable you to 're-acquaint' with yourself. You'll find it pretty awesome to be single again. You'll think of her less and less and start enjoying your own self more and more.

With NC , if she initiates a convo with you , you can either ignore it or respond. But responding is a thin line to walk. You might relapse pretty nasty. If you do respond , keep it short and casual. Anything beyond that should be shot down immediately.


Again,a failed relationship is failed. Think of it as a car. You buy a car and you don't really like it. It doesn't suit you. Would you buy that same car again ? or would you rather go out and try different brands ?
After you tried several other cars and you're not as pleased with any of them as you were with the original one, you might consider buying it back. But at least now you come from a place of abundance and actually know how good it is,right ?
Besides , there are tons of different brands and models , chances are VERY HIGH you'll find one that suits you great,if not perfectly.



Ok , couple of things to add.

Stop posting sad stuff on facebook. What are you hoping to accomplish ? It's pretty obvious that it's a cry for attention , which you will not get - and even if you do , it will NOT do you any good.

Quote:
Trust the fact that everyone here can sign: NOBODY EVER got girl back by texting, calling, begging, stalking and acting depressed...


Actually , some people did get the girl back like that. You know what happened ? They simply surrendered any ounce of power they had by doing that. They managed to avoid a broken heart by doing so ,but you know what they got instead ? A shattered one. It obviously only made things worse.

The sooner you realize what I'm about to say , the better for you. Being in a LTR creates and addiction. You ARE addicted to this girl. The only way to free yourself from this addiction(which is affecting your life in all sorts of negative ways) is to cut it from it's roots. The process will be painful and exciting at the same time. Like I said before, it's not a straight line , it's a circle. Today you'll feel at the top of the world , invincible.Tomorrow you'll feel like crawling back to her , on your knees. If you stay strong and don't relapse , you'll experience good days more and more often and the bad days will regress. If you do relapse, the process will go in reverse.This is an absolute truth you need to get through your head.You now have the knowledge , the choice is yours.


I ended my ltr about 5-6 weeks ago. I was pathetic and miserable at first. I struggled to stay strong and not relapse and I STILL feel like shit some days. I still am in that vicious circle so don't kid yourself , it's not easy by any means and it will take some time. Only after going NC did my actual recovery begin. And as a specification , your sad facebook statuses still count as contact. Indirect as it may be , you're still making efforts in interacting with her. Stop that shit immediately.

One more thing. Why do you still have pics of her on facebook ? Do you enjoy torturing yourself ?

Read my quote over and over again before you fuck yourself even further.

With NC , if she initiates a convo with you , you can either ignore it or respond. But responding is a thin line to walk. You might relapse pretty nasty. If you do respond , keep it short and casual. Anything beyond that should be shot down immediately.