I just feel like it's hard to want something.
Like I want to stay warm, but I don't even want to bother lighting up the furnace and just let it go.
I want to be happy, but it's all too hard so I don't even give it a shot.
To be honest, I don't know what I want or even if I want it to a level that really scares me.
I barely know what I like. Warmth, check. Anything else? No-idea. Sex? Not gonna bother even if a nude girl walks up to me. (Probably won't even get hard, cuz I just feel SO demotivated, even to feel anything or sense anything.) No I'm not gay.
It's like there's this huge void I'm afraid to fill. I just don't want to. It feels as if I tried I'd get stressful and feel pain. Could this be because my gf dumped me? (and toyed with me, fml. Love makes people dumb and blind.)

How do I deal with myself? Guys, help, please.

Note: A LONG time ago I liked sitting at my furnace, just meditating and sensing, seeing, clearing my mind (I could cry because of the rain, I enjoyed it that much) but now I don't really find any joy in all of it. Nothing brings joy anymore. My gf wouldn't. I'm pretty sure getting a new gf wouldn't, cuz I just feel so messed up, destroyed and dark. Like a black hole that just wants devour all of the happiness from others.

I'm already starting to take the first steps for this (removing permanence, eg. the void won't be there forever.)

Hey man,

I've also got this problem ALL my life.

I'm smart, good job, friends, good family, good looking get my share of IOIs from HBs - sounds like life is sorted.

But it seems that nothing can interest me enough in this world. I feel this void inside me all the time.

Sometimes I wish I would fall asleep and never wake up because this life is just too boring.
I go to sleep and think fuck I will get up tomorrow and will have to live my life.

Dont get me wrong I am not depressed I know how to be fun and what people want. But I need to work for that - mentally force myself to have fun now. For other people it seems natural and I am like oh whatever.

If robbers would appear and say "your money or i shoot you"
I might just reply "just dont miss"

This attitude has its pros. Ive got no AA. I totally dont care what others think of me. I dont judge. Ive got no anger or envy.

Just this lazy thing and lack of motivation which I have to battle on every corner on every step I take.

Excactly, there's a void.
Maybe there's meaning in other people? Helping them? Still couldn't care less. Don't even care to look.
I feel like I'm dissapointed in life, I thought it would have something more in it, something worth fighting for, something worth having and enjoying. Could this be a lack of will to dedicate your life? Dedication to others. Dedication to something and becoming blind to everything else. Just giving 100% and not giving a fuck how much meaning it has. So many things to yearn for and it's so hard to pick something. Basketball, shuffle, hobbies, carreer, people.
I feel like I don't know what to love, what to be proud of and where to stop asking "why should I feel this way?".

If you ask, "Why should I love my life if it has no meaning, if it's hard, if I can't stand it anymore, or any FUCKING other excuse?" you won't ever come out with "I should love my life and I do. No questions asked. I dedicate myself. I give my all to the things I love and I love them because I just do - that's my meaning."