I frequently visit a bar close to my college campus. Usually the music is very loud, and it always seems awkward approaching when I can barely hear her. What is the best approach? How should I go about getting the girl to dance with me when asking for a dance seems near impossible? Thanks

here's a fun idea that i have done for the last 4 days:

i come in a bar, i see if its worthwhile (any HB there?)
if i dont see any HB: next bar
if i see an HB with UG-friend(s):
i have not stared at any of them (that would ruin it), i just spotted them in a sneaky way,
i dont give any IOIs to HB, no staring, none of my feet/knees/body/head pointing at her and no proximity.
so i go sit at the bar just outside of proximity with an empty bar stool next to me. (on the side of the HB)
i order 1 drink and just stare in front of me, play real cool, as if i'm 007 with problems on my mind greater than this stupid bar and i just want my drink. i take a few sips.
i could already be noticed by HB now, because of my 007 attitude.
but then again maybe she didnt even notice me until now.

then all of a sudden i snap out of it and turn on my playful bully look, as if i came to my senses because i am here to have fun and not to deal with my 007 problems.
empty bar stool next to me, i put some of my drink on this bar stool
while i poor some of my drink, i let other people (but not the group of HB) watch me if they want (bigger audience is just more social proof for me later)
my look is the playful bully look: i just need a victim, hehehe...
i make invitation gesture to 1 UG-friend of HB, point to the bar stool
UG comes happily to me (because she's UG and I'm goodlooking and cool mr007)
i make fun of her, because i say no no no i cant do that to you, your too cute: look! its dirty
haha, lets ask your friend (pointing to HB) to come! funny! and HB comes...
i tell her i just saved her friend from sitting on the dirty bar stool
friend & me laugh about it and people around us too.
sometimes it doesnt go exactly like this, but HB always comes to see whats going on.
because i've sucked the whole audience incl. HB in my reality (although its something very stupid, especially for mr007, but that doesnt matter)
HB will always initiate shit tests on me instantly
after coming over (who does he think he is?)

I will pass all these shit tests, which increases her buying temp quickly.
(if UG comes in between the shit tests, i just ignore the UG, pretend she doesnt exist, because this is fast pickup, no time to waste).
after some shit testing of her i just say: I gtg, I have to hurry up and leave, I was here for just 1 drink. Lets meet some other time, give me your number and i hand over my phone as if there is no other choice. she punches in the number, i save the number.

NEXT BAR, NEXT HB, etc

best to use a quick and cheeky opener, depending on ur style u follow will depend on whos u use...

a general all rounder would be something like

"hey, quick question for ya, before i head back to my friend... but in your personal opinion, who lies more... men or women"

take it from there she give one or the other... u can either contest or agree... personally i always contest like... if she say men, i say now way women always pretend there busy, or watever and very easy to get some DHV eg... "wel personally i bla bla"

Everybody uses the questions now that is just cumbersome and boring. Who lies more blah blah . So predictable now. Come up with something unique if you see she has a beer with her just go up to her and be like excuse me but when you were walking by i think you spilled your beer on my new shoes and then be like i just want to return the favor lol. I actually use that all the time because a really hot girl tried to use that on me at the club. just an idea

You can also choose a different bar...

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NoboDY caN HaNG WIth MY STUFF...

Welcome to the forum MellowYellow.

You can approach with a smile, when something good is playing, angle your body between her and the dance floor, extend one hand to her, motion with the other hand to the dance floor. If your body language shows confidence, you may have a shot.

Hey, MellowYellow, dont ask for a dance; just do it!!! I now know that women hates a guy who seeks permission;at least in cases like these. It's unalpha(beta) to ask for a dance at least in a case like yours.

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I agree, these openers are played out. Think up some interesting ones.

"Hey, I've got a question for you before I go back to my friends. As a girl, do you get approached a lot by military recruiters? [response] I just had one come up to me outside of the bar, it's the third one this week. I think it has something to do with my incredible physique (c+f)"

Branch to an interesting but short story about you and the recruiter, use your imagination, or multithread to something else.

I don't like that idea, their are certain inconsistencies and misconceptions, that make this game plan flawed.

To the OP, smile, good body laungauge and eye contact are musts keep them in check and you'll do well.

I only started sarging a couple of weeks ago just after getting into the game so I can't really offer any techniques just yet, but...and this is soooo effing cool... I went to PB Bar&Grill last night and opened the first set to my left. It was an eleven set...ALL CHICKS. I was soo intimidated at first, but here's how it went down.

I walked up to the bar to get another beer, so settling in at the right position was easy enough. I looked at the girl next to me and said...

Me: So I'm curious as to why everyone in Pacific Beach rides a damn bike.
Her: You're obviously not from here are you?
Me: No, I just moved here.

At this point I realize she has an Irish accent. We make small talk for about 2 minutes while my friends watch me work then I turn to her friends all in a circle and ask the girl next to me...

Me: So these are all of your friends?
Her: Yeah! Let me introduce you.

At this point ALL the girls turn to me...I am surrouned by HB7.5 and above. Eleven of them. So my friends are totally watching me work this set and the girls start fluffing about them all being nurse grads and one of them being a teacher. By this point I realize I'm just a beginner. I start to feel a bit nervous because every guy walking around the bar alone or with one or two girls is looking at me watching this joe nobody surrouned by 11 of the most beautifull Irish girls the west coast has seen in ages. Im affraid that its gonna be very difficult to maintain the attention of eleven girls so I call my friends over, and they naturally move around to greet me first (establishing social value) then I introduce them to the crowd and we split the girls up 3, 3, for them and 4 for me.

Here's where things went a bit south. I do the cube on 4 girls... they're like totally all over my nuts on this shit and are ready to bring all their friends to our place for free drinks and music and hopfully AT LEAST a couple of KCs and possibly even an FC cause I am hot tonight and got lucky and opened the set with foreign women. Even guys that came up to intrude were swatted away, I felt on top of the world after only two weeks of sarging. Obviously I need more practice....

ME: Hey girls listen we don't have much to offer except free beer, free music and good conversation. I'd love to keep talking to you but it's just so loud in here.
ROSE: Sure, sounds great (talks to her friends)

I notice nods of agreement around the table...except for one. The brunnette my other buddy isolated.

MARY: We have to be up early in the morning to catch our planes.

Buddy: Yeah, I guess it's cool then (total cock block, I wont go out with that guy ever again)

Girls reconsider and all I get is a couple of email closes and a couple of pictures taken. But thats my story. My experience with loud bars isnt great because It seems i have to get uncomfortably close to the girls ears in order to get my point accross.

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If you read The Lay Guide by Tony Clink you will learn something very effective yet very simple. Avoid the bar if other options are available. Bars are great social environments full of women, but they only offer a limited number of social positives. The negatives out weigh the pros.

For one, it can be loud. You also have the problem of most of the women being there in the mindset that their gonna get hit on so their guard is way up(not that it can't be knocked down). And you have to deal with so many interrupts it's maddening. I would suggest smaller venues. The Lay Guide says try some day game. Go out and talk to girls in an every day environment. For one they will be caught off their guard. They won't expect to be hit on and even if they do they might not expect it from someone who knows what their doing.

But back to the issue. If you are at a bar, and it's loud, this is what has worked for me. Spot your target set, or target individual. Make your approach from an angle if at all possible. Frontal is too forward. Behind is too creepy. You want her to see you, but you don't want to be too aggressive with the approach. Let her see your intention without scaring her off. You can tell if she's interested, if (this happened to me in the Shout Lounge, notorious for loud live music) she smiles for one and is willing to wait until the opportunity presents itself.

Now The Lay Guide will tell you never to open with a negative statement about the environment because you want her to see your a positive high energy person focusing on the good exciting things. But this is one exception where you can twist this rule to work to your advantage.

Example:

You walk over to her. Live music is playing. You can barely here her, hell you can barely hear yourself.

Smile. Try saying something to her. You know she won't hear you (lets hope you have a good sense of hearing to determine whether or not she will) Regardless of what you say, she won't hear you.

Lets say she smiles back. Okay your in. Keep her smiling. The song has to end sometime. Especially if it's live. You know based on the average time of most songs you only have a couple of minutes before it ends.

Okay, song ends. She's smiling, you have her interest first and foremost because you approached her with confidence and a smile.

YOU: Well I walked all the way over here to talk to you, but I don't think they(point to the band(or if there is no band, but music is playing)the DJ, or bartenders)) want me to. How selfish. (stand by for a wider grin or laughter from her.)

HER: It is a bit loud in here isn't it? (A few things happened here with this statement. 1. She agreed with you. 2. You put her in a position to make the negative statement about the environment and she took the bait. 3 She responded with a question that requires an answer. 4. She responded to that statement you made and it put her in a state of awareness. She is more aware of the discomfort of how loud it is.

By this point she knows a couple of things. 1. She knows you want to talk to her, she also knows she wants to talk to you. You know this because she posed a question to you and you took it to mean she wanted a response. 2. She knows you want to go somewhere quieter i.e. outside to the balcony, or the deck or whatever the bar offers. 3 She knows something has to be done to continue this conversation with you. She knows that she will go with you outside if you ask her or else risk losing your attention. (Remember you didn't come in with a cheesy pick up line or ask to buy her a drink you came in with confidence and a smile) she wants to talk to you and you have to know you're the prize.

YOU: (By this point you need to start hoping the band starts up again) Yeah, it's a bit uncomfortable. (Band starts next song)

YOU: [Lean in and speak into her ear loud enough for her to hear] I don't think this is the best place to talk, I'm going outside.

1. You made a general statement of fact based on her response to the negative environment. 2. You made a statement about what you were going to do, you didn't beg for her attention. Remember she is already interested since you have her smiling and she talked to you.

YOU: [Walk away, head out to the balcony]

Now this whole situation is based on a successful experience I had at the SHOUT HOUSE down in San Diego last month (Sept.) So I can't promise anything but this site is about sharing experiences to build skill.

If she doesn't follow, don't look for her. You have about 10 seconds or less to scratch her off your list. If you go outside and it's been over 10 seconds and she's not there, she failed. You have to open another set or individual on the balcony. For two major reasons.

1. You want to be social. Don't stand on the sidelines.

2. If you are engaged in conversation on the off chance she shows up later this does two things.
1. She found you which means she is still interested.
2. If you have another woman interested in you and she is smiling, the former prospect will react in one or two ways. 1. Contemptuous
2. Competitively.
3. This also gives the second girl the idea that you are preselected. Another potential mate has entered the social circle.

From this point on its all on you to determine how to play this. If the first is still your target and everything is going well, work it. If the second has become your target, work it that way. If both seem to be flat lining do the next best thing. Take them both back in and pivot the hell out of them. Of course you need to be careful. You don't know these girls very well so pivoting might be tricky, but you do go back in with two girls and the confidence to get what you want.

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