Hey.

Background: 3.5 year relationship, both at uni, I'm 20, she 19, had a big fight 2 weeks ago, first major fight of the relationship, worked it out and this happens:

So I'm at my girlfriend's friend's birthday party and my girlfriend cracks out that some guy asked her for her number the night before. I shrug it off and don't even acknowledge her. She then proceeds to thrust her phone in my face and show me that they've exchanged a few texts.. I push the phone away and didn't read them but I did see there was around 2/3 texts each and saw the guy's name. I still don't acknowledge her and speak to her friend. My gf then interups and says to her friend: 'sure some guy asked for my number last night?'
To which her friend replied 'yes'. I said: 'you wish!' And left the Convo.

Later when we're alone I take my gf aside and ask her what that was all about... She says that she loves me dearly and that I never get jealous (which is true). But she didn't really explain her actions. I assume she is trying to invoke some reaction out of me by doing this... I rarely show emotions. How childish.... What's funny is that I know she'd go mad if I did the same thing. She would go mad!
I also saw they are now friends on Facebook...

So boys and girls. Am I over reacting or is this something to be worried abouts?

Don't think you overreacted. She's not gf material. Not only did she let a guy chat her up (strike 1), she exchanged number(strike 2), texted him (strike 3), added him on fb (strike 4) and threw it in your face to make you jealous (strike 5). She's 19, I doubt you will marry and die with this girl. She's already showing red flags by wanting to make you jealous (a girl will fuck a guy just to her bf jealous btw). Let her have fun in her younger years and you do the same.

When you put it like that it sounds awful. Man oh man. This is interesting.

Lmfao... Don't listen to neo87. That guy is one of the biggest morons on here.

If she did those things in an attempt to get a raise or reaction out of you, then that's one thing (but still wrong). If she did those things because she's genuinely interested in the guy, that's a whole different ball game. You need to figure out which of the two it is before you can take action.

If you don't get jealous, it's not necessarily because you don't give a shit about her, but rather because you just "know" you have her, and that she wouldn't do anything stupid. Think about that for a second. That's called trust. What a concept. And unlikely in many relationships.

_________________
Before she can respect you, you need to respect yourself.

I might also add that if she did it to get a raise out of you, that's her trying to see if you care or not, probably because she misses attention and affection. So quite possibly you haven't been fulfilling your duties as a boyfriend.

_________________
Before she can respect you, you need to respect yourself.

She wants an emotional reaction from you so that she knows (in her logic) that you care about her. If she was planning on cheating on you with this guy then there is no way she would have shown you the number.

The problem is though....if this guy is a smooth operator or even worse a PUA himself then he will start gaming her and possibly steal her away. It's a balancing act for you. By showing no reaction to her mischief then you set yourself up as the dominant one in the relationship but if you don't reassure her in some way then she might leave for someone who will.

To get rid of the guy get yourself a new Sim card for your phone and change this guys number to your sim, she won't know the guy's actual number by rote only the name attached to it. Text him on her phone saying she has changed her number and give him your new one, he will change the number attached to the name and start texting you thinking it's her hopefully, then string him along for a bit then tell him that she has genital warts pretending to be her, he will dump her sharpish. Then do the same to your GF's number saying he has them from your new Sim number. Within an hour of the text spring some romantic stuff on her while she is emotionally hyped.

Lmfao. This is actually brilliant.

_________________
Before she can respect you, you need to respect yourself.

neo87 is telling the truth. Young teen girls aren't as stable as more mature girls. Their minds are still exploring and learning, mostly the mistakes so she'll hopefully become more mature later in life.

But there's another angle to this. She's sh*t testing him because maybe he's giving mixed messages to her that he's a lurking beta acting Alpha. Women can sense this with their gut with their super sensitive antennas, but they're not sure what to make of it. So they sh*t test you to get validation of their feelings. No men can prevent slip ups, but if you slip up often, expect this to happen more often. Can you bear the thought of her pussy with someone's cock while you naturally brush it off as nothing. It's hard man.. Not worth the game, unless you want to become an elite combat fighting Navy Seals.

Lol at flyswatter. I'm moronic coming from the guy who thought the sim card thing was brilliant. If your idea for stopping a gf from cheating involves you scheming like the Joker, then carry on dude.

As mike might said, she is young. She has already shown that she wants to get a reaction from you. Maybe she did all this just for that reason, but that's irrelevant. She has yet to get any reaction from you so the next step is to do MORE to make you jealous. If she was doubting that you care about her, your reaction was cool, but she is still doubting whether she can affect you. Next step is to "let something happen" with the guy, come crying to you the next day to see if you have a reaction. May not be that she goes and sleeps with him, but if you have a YOUNG GIRL who wants to see you jealous, she will do whatever she can to do that.

Any guy who has laid alot in college can tell you that a girl who has issues with her bf or is looking for attention from him is an easy lay. I can't tell you how many times I've hooked up with a girl with a bf who only wants to do stuff so she can tell him the next day. next day I'd get a call or text from an angry bf saying that he and his girl have talked about it, I should leave her alone etc.

You can spin it a million ways but the truth is your gf is NOT relationship material. Whether she wants to know you care, she's going about in a way to get a negative reaction from you and drama. Once a girl wants to see you jealous, she will do whatever until you are.

Alls fair in love and war buddy. When you start (if) dating HB10's then the other guys will be ruthless in trying to steal your woman. Like the saying goes "the other guy is sly but so am I" The sim switch is but creative engineering of the frame to achieve the best result for the parties concerned.

A girl only wants to make you jealous if she's feeling insecure in the relationship. You can give her security lots of ways without flying off the handle.

When I dated an 18 year old girl it was jealousy games the whole way!

She must have felt insecure at my lack of jealousy, at one point she literally texted: "Are you sure you're not jealous? " when she was chilling with some friends, some of whom were male.

What about having boundaries and expectations from the person you're with not to act like this in the first place? I guess we should just be grateful that a HB is with us and do whatever we can to stay with her, instead of valuing ourselves. A woman can feel insecure about a relationship, but ACTIVELY doing stuff to get a reaction from you is too far. A quality girl wouldn't try to hurt you because she's insecure. There are many ways your gf could have handled her insecurity that wouldnt have included all of that and then throwing it in your face. Christ, 3.5 years...she could have just argued with you.


Sure, buy a sim card and do all of that. My time and money are better spent on women who deserve them. You can engineer so that the guy is out the picture, but so what? She'll just find another guy and do it again to make you jealous.

neo87, I've read your posts on other topics, plenty of them. I really mean this sincerely: I scoff at a lot of them because most of the time you're pretty much wrong. And it amazes me that anyone still gives you any credibility. I've just grown accustomed to ignoring your posts.

But this quote of yours is completely false. I was in a five year relationship and she knew I didn't get jealous easily. She'd make up stories to try to get me jealous. Did it work? No, because I knew she was doing it to get a kick out of me, and I knew the stories of guys flirting with her were made up. And when they weren't made up, she never acted on them, and she most certainly never cheated on me. And don't reply with "how do you know she never cheated on you?" Because I knew her for five years, and I knew her inside out. The whole jealousy tactic she used was to try to feel important and needed.

Please refrain from giving your opinion when you have no idea what you're talking about.

Kind regards,
Management.

_________________
Before she can respect you, you need to respect yourself.

Didn't read the replies, only neo's. What a crap advice is that.

If it would mean anything, she wouldn't be pushing it to your face.

It's a major shit test. It's good... Don't pay too much attention to it, the fact that she's deliberatly telling you, means it's a test. And seems like you passed, nothing to worry about.

Give the guy credit, this will make your value higher. She'll stop texting soon...

Fly swatter, you have made me laugh twice today. Thanks for reading my posts and following me. I don't really have time to remember who is writing what, I give my advice from my experiences and don't go around dismissing someone's opinions while calling them names. I take time to post here when I'm working from home and stuff is loading. It's not that serious "Management."
Anyways, sounds like you're opinion is based off a completely different situation. I won't even challenge your trust of your ex because that would be childish and your relationship is your business. But as you've said, she TOLD you things to make you jealous. The OP's gf is DOING things to make him jealous. She's not making up stories. She's giving her number out and flirting with another guy then telling him.
Your ex: made up stories
OP's gf: Giving guys her number and texting them.

Regardless, your ex and the Op's gf were/are playing games, only a major difference is that the OP's gf involves physical actions. Combined with her being young, which 99% of the time equals unstable and immature, it's not a big step for her to cheat. I can assure you that the 19 yr olds who are mature enough for a serious relationship do not go so far for attention.

And to Pink panther: Sure it could be a shit test, but would you want a gf who goes to these lengths to test you? Doesn't sound healthy and if she would go to these lengths, what's the stop her from sleeping with the guy?

If you have ever hooked up with an attached girl, you know sometimes it has alot to do with her trying to bring drama into the relationship or get her bf jealous. Can someone who has slept with a girl in a relationship actually weigh in here?