Quick facts:
-GF of 3 months tells me a few weeks ago she's thinking of going to Turkey to visit a cousin
-I tell her I'd join her; she seems happy about that
-One week ago, she sends an e-mail saying she's thinking of going to Spain with a friend, and then spend a few weeks in Italy, and then Turkey. No mention of where I fit in there.
-After calling her out on my exclusion of her plans, her whole excuse is that she'd feel bad for asking me to shell out 3 grand on a trip. Okay, I can believe that to a certain extent. But she never expressed much interest in me joining her, and she also drafted these plans without my input... Which one would consider important considering she'd be gone for 1.5 months.
-She actually did ask me to join eventually (but only after calling her out on it, so that's not much of an invitation if you ask me)
-Overheard her talking with her friends today. It's now 2 months she'll be gone for.
-I told her I was leaving shortly after, because I wasn't enjoying the live hip hop live music (when in fact it's because I was pretty upset/pissed from overhearing that). Sent me a text apologizing for the crappy night; ignored it.
-She's always the first to initiate conversation, and to invite me out (most of the time). I always thought I had slightly more control than her in the relationship, but now I'm not so sure.

Any advice on how to deal with this? I can't seem to think objectively because of this emotional state I'm in.

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Before she can respect you, you need to respect yourself.

You said:
Which this would be wrong. I think you over reacted right when you got this email instead of reading between the lines. She said "she's thinking of going"(meaning its has not been set in stone yet and she was reaching out to you for your opinion/approval on this idea she has). Anytime a woman uses the term or tells you "she's thinking", she is seeking your approval, you to help her make up her mind(cause we all know women cant make up there on mind). Seems like you do have slight control in the relationship because she asked for your opinion and approval, instead just telling you that she was doing something.


Tip: Women are not logical like men. They ask indirect questions expecting men to understand. Men are logical and ask direct questions without any extra meaning.

The more she talks about, the more she has her sights fixed on the project. She sets her goals in stone and is stubborn. So there is an 80% chance she'd be going.

_________________
Before she can respect you, you need to respect yourself.

I would definitely ask if she wanted some company at some point in her travels. She may want to experience some alone time a little bit and that would be understandable. But if you can meet up with her for some of time, i wouldnt see a problem with that.

You don't see the problem? The problem is that she drafted these plans without asking my opinion or for my input. Not only that, she presumed from the start she'd be going alone or with a friend. That's the God damn fucking problem. So tell me why would I impose and join her on the trip? No fucking way. Not unless she begs, which she won't.

_________________
Before she can respect you, you need to respect yourself.

Oh but she did, She sent you an email sayng she's thinking of going to Spain with a friend, and then spend a few weeks in Italy, and then Turkey

She wouldn't have sent the email saying "she's thinking of going" if she didnt want your input. Are you afraid to share your opinion bout it because of what her answer might be? Your in a relationship, are you afraid to ask her why she hasnt meantioned you coming with her? Are you afraid you will loose her over the course of 2 months that she might be gone?

Seems like she reached out for your opinion, yet you have alot of questions about the trip and have not discussed any of them with her. Who's the stubborn one?

First of all, she didn't use the words "I'm thinking of." She said word for word "we might go to Spain ... and then maybe I'll go to Italy and Turkey." Do you see the difference now? These are words of a self-centred person. She is not planning a fucking one week road trip with some friends to a neighbouring city... She's planning a whole fucking two month trip to mother fucking Europe.

_________________
Before she can respect you, you need to respect yourself.

if she is so self-centered and you dont like the fact the is planning things that dont include you, then what are your two opinions?

I thought about my plan of action over my sleep. I think I need to downplay it and not show my anger and feelings and try to enjoy the remaning few weeks I have with her. When she brings up the possibility of me joining her, I need to flat out tell her no. I haven't decided what I'd tell her when she asks me why not. Probably the truth would be the right thing to do (but again without showing my feelings). And then hopefully god knocks some damn sense into her brain and she cancels the trip.

I don't know what other option I have. Dumping her over something like this would be stupid.

_________________
Before she can respect you, you need to respect yourself.

When she asks bout you going. You could sarcasticly say "No, i dont want to intridue on YOUR plans".

Good idea but that would show my frustration, and I want to remain unemotional and appear unaffected.

_________________
Before she can respect you, you need to respect yourself.

When a girlfriend wants you to be on her trip, she will automatically tell you and sign you up sometimes without asking! Her meaning, she's including you in her life or sometimes testing you how you'll fit in her life like sleeping together, out together and stuff. So usually, the trip is short resulting nothing more than an overnighter or 2 nights max for a new beginning relationship. You are asking your GF of 3 months to be with you for a month or 2 with friends and you haven't gotten the mileage yet with her. I think that's pushing it and I will agree with your GF that it's rude of you pushing the agenda of you being included. You are her new BF, but that does not give you exclusive status that I shall and I must go with you. That's just projecting a sign of neediness. Women hate needy men. That's why you're upset perhaps your ego got bruised that you're not invited on this long trek and the argument broke out. You've just next her high interest level.

You have control in the relationship with her, BUT you never and never will have control in her personal life. You tried to control that, which shows to her that you are possessive and needy. What's that a sign of a man?

Cheers..

Above poster nailed it.
You're needy. Why would you need to be included on a trip overseas? Don't you realize a person may just want to go with their friends and not have to include their significant other and do the whole "I have to balance my attention to my friends and my bf while hoping they get along great for 2 months" thing?

I think you both are retarded, but that's just me. Common sense would dictate that a girlfriend should include her significant other in a two month long trip, at least from an opinion standpoint. but then maybe you both like to suck dick. What else could explain your stupid opinions? Kindly back up your retarded opinions with more rationalization.

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Before she can respect you, you need to respect yourself.

Not being able to express an opinion without name calling means you're immature and childish. Regardless, you've dated for 3 months and want her to commit to spend 2 months with you on a trip.
1.People like their alone time to enjoy themselves with their friends (be secure)

2.As mike said, you don't have enough mileage(read his explanation)

3. Maybe she's smart and knows that a trip together so soon could kill a relationship. Being on a trip with your gf is similiar to moving in for a couple months. Things can get suffocating.

4. YOU should not have 2 months where you can just be brought into HER world. Her friends are HER world and you want to be brought into their fun. Why don't you have friends or your own stuff going on?