How/when do you know you're in a relationship?



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PostPosted: Tue Feb 26, 2013 10:26 pm 
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Hi guys!
Been seeing a girl for a few weeks, and i think i want her to be my girl. Haven't had sex yet, but i have slept over at hers a couple of times and gotten som finger action. She's reaally cozy when i'm there a lot of gentle touching and caressing, but stops when it's about to go doown. We've been texting all day since i slept over from saturday to sunday.
My question is how/when do I know we're exclusive if I want us to be? should i come clean and tell her or wait for her to say something? Or just wait until sex happens?
She's going away tomorrow for a few days and it would have been nice to know, so that i don't waste my time waiting and she comes back and has "forgot" about me.


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PostPosted: Wed Feb 27, 2013 2:59 am 
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Hi guys!
Been seeing a girl for a few weeks, and i think i want her to be my girl. Haven't had sex yet, but i have slept over at hers a couple of times and gotten som finger action. She's reaally cozy when i'm there a lot of gentle touching and caressing, but stops when it's about to go doown. We've been texting all day since i slept over from saturday to sunday.
My question is how/when do I know we're exclusive if I want us to be? should i come clean and tell her or wait for her to say something? Or just wait until sex happens?
She's going away tomorrow for a few days and it would have been nice to know, so that i don't waste my time waiting and she comes back and has "forgot" about me.
Sorry man if she hasn't let you hit and hasn't discussed anything about being a relationship with you, you are no way obligated to be with only her. What I bolded is a bad sign especially if its been a few weeks I'd freeze her out a little, and start doing some sexual escalating things


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PostPosted: Thu Feb 28, 2013 3:02 pm 
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Sorry man if she hasn't let you hit and hasn't discussed anything about being a relationship with you, you are no way obligated to be with only her. What I bolded is a bad sign especially if its been a few weeks I'd freeze her out a little, and start doing some sexual escalating things
Thema, it depends on their age and experience level. If the girls a virgin, then it's NOT a bad sign that she's hesitant to sleep with him.

Iro, wait until she initiates the relationship conversation. All you can do at this point is to be awesome so she wants to spend more time with you.

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PostPosted: Thu Feb 28, 2013 6:09 pm 
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Or you could initiate it yourself if you want the clarity. Don't automatically expect her to say yes though.

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PostPosted: Mon Mar 04, 2013 12:03 am 
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Well had another sleepover at hers. She had already told me that she "had her reasons" but I didn't let her tell me as I thought it would be bad for me. Last night she just layed it out, I don't feel like I should write what it was on here, but let's just say they were valid. And she even started telling me about problems in her life that I didn't know about and it seemed like there was a deeper connection.
Now i don't know why the heell i keep pursuing her, I guess it's just something about her that draws me towards her. I like her sweetness, and she has these stupid little cute words for things, and she just has a generally cute personality. Or maybe it's just the fact that I wanna have sex with her just to see if I can lay someone thats 2 years older than me. I feel like we already treat each other as girlfriend/boyfriend but it isn't official yet.
One thing though, her reasons contained another guy. It seemed as though she still has contact with him, and she told me that whatever happened still is on her mind and that it exhaust her. Should I confront her about this? Just tell her that if we're ever going forward, I want her to stop contact with him. I already jokinkly told her that "I don't share" and she'll have to understand my reasons for bringing it up.


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PostPosted: Tue Mar 05, 2013 12:03 am 
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Well had another sleepover at hers. She had already told me that she "had her reasons" but I didn't let her tell me as I thought it would be bad for me. Last night she just layed it out, I don't feel like I should write what it was on here, but let's just say they were valid. And she even started telling me about problems in her life that I didn't know about and it seemed like there was a deeper connection.
Now i don't know why the heell i keep pursuing her, I guess it's just something about her that draws me towards her. I like her sweetness, and she has these stupid little cute words for things, and she just has a generally cute personality. Or maybe it's just the fact that I wanna have sex with her just to see if I can lay someone thats 2 years older than me. I feel like we already treat each other as girlfriend/boyfriend but it isn't official yet.
One thing though, her reasons contained another guy. It seemed as though she still has contact with him, and she told me that whatever happened still is on her mind and that it exhaust her. Should I confront her about this? Just tell her that if we're ever going forward, I want her to stop contact with him. I already jokinkly told her that "I don't share" and she'll have to understand my reasons for bringing it up.
I see a red flag waving over yonder...


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PostPosted: Tue Mar 05, 2013 1:55 pm 
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The reason you feel that way, is because it's natural for men to feel this way about a "damsel in distress". We are protective by nature, and it gets you attracted to her that she's fragile and that she "needs" you. Basic psychology.

However, it would seem that she uses you as an emotional tampoon. As Rough Operator pointed out, there is definitely a red flag here.

Now, I'm gonna take a leap right off the bat here, and guess that this guy raped her. Not in a violent, fucked up way. More like she said no a couple of times and gave in, felt dirty after, and reframed it in her own mind. You don't need to confirm or dismiss it, but since you don't want to write what it is, that's my automatic assumption.

It would seem like she uses you because she wants validation, given low self-esteem. She will most likley not enter a relationship with you, or ever go any further than she has gone now. If I were you, I would state my intentions, see whether she agrees or disagrees and then take the appropriate action (go on, or go cold).

Trust me, I've seen one or two of these cases before, was involved in one before I got my inner game together, and it's not something to hold on to. Again, I might be wrong, but that's why you need to bring up the relationship matter, or atleast figure out where this is going.

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PostPosted: Wed Mar 06, 2013 1:09 am 
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Appreciating the help!

Naah, it was nothing like that. But it seemed serious and like it caused her some trouble.

I've found out that she's the kind of girl that want's someone that cares about her, and that she feels lonely and bored.

I haven't given in to her and I never compliment her on looks or anything. I'm just being my confident self, and she has even told me that i overdo my confidence at times. Early on she confronted me about what i felt and what i wanted. I just told her we should get to know each other better and than see what happens.

Maybe one of the reasons is that she's kind of my boss where I work part-time so she doesn't want to loose her integrity by sleeping with me too early?


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PostPosted: Wed Mar 06, 2013 5:38 am 
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I think you ask her for a relationship before its going to late.Because some girls hesitate on asking that or for doing sex.So you must ask her for a dinner and say all.That what's your feeling about that and you want from her.

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