Ok so I'm gonna be completely honest here this girl I'm talking about has me whipped everything she does makes me like her more and I get really fucking nervous when I'm around her (I'm good at hiding how I feel though so she never picks up on it). I have known her for a long time and we know each other well enough to meet in a social setting e.g. with a lot of friends.

Here's the problem though she has a boyfriend who she's been dating for close to a year and had a schoolgirl crush on him to begin with but (and I thought this about them before they were going out) hes a bit of a beta and always makes lame puns. Another problem is that I did the unthinkable one night (before I read PUA stuff) and basically told her how I feel.

What should I do? And if you're gonna say "get over it" or "look for another gf" just leave I want real advice for this one.

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Be the change you want to see in this world because in the end it's not the years in your life that count but the life in your years.

You're not fooling anyone. You're being the perfect definition of an AFC/wussy/orbiter/nice guy in this situation.

When I read the thread title I thought I could answer your question by offering a simple "boyfriend destroyer" but that definitely does not apply to you. What you need is a complete overhaul of yourself and your skills. You simply need to learn the basics.

Stay away from this girl (she is your "oneitis") and start practicing on new girls every day. What you need to do is start developing a new skillset related to attracting and seducing women with sexualization and an "alpha male" personality.

After a while, you will master some of these skills and you MIGHT be ready to face this girl again! Good luck.

get over it

Ouch! You know what? Been there, done that, and here's what I learned from it...

First of all, the other posters are right. "Get over it" is the best advice in this situation. But, that being said, you are not ready to accept that advice, so here's what I can give you.

Based on what you've told us, you've completely shot your own value in the foot. Her bf might be a beta, but even making lame puns in social situations can be a sign of confidence in a "I don't care what people think of me" kind of way

Also, you've painted yourself into a corner because you told her how you feel. This means that every interaction you have with her from that point forward will be painted with that impression of you.

Here's how you raise your value(In the words of Eric Von Markovic):

1. Establish yourself as the leader of men (You can start by switching your social focus from her to her bf. Find out why she is attracted to him)

2. Be pre-selected by women (If you are comfortable in social situations with her, try switching your focus to another girl in her presence. Nothing overtly sexual or demanding, but just enough for her to notice)

3. Be the protector of loved ones (If he is truly the beta you claim he is, this will show in his behaviors and mannerisms. This gives you perfect opportunities to step in and "defend the herd" so to speak. This not only raises your value in her eyes but also in the eyes of everyone else in your group. Note: this does not mean start picking bar fights with hairy bikers)

Basically, you need to create some perceptual distance between her impression of you when you confessed your feelings and her impression of you in the future. If done right, her boyfriend will become a virtual non-issue. Hope this helps

I'd like for you to tell us how/what she responded when you confessed your crush on her.

Okay you must quit the relation ship with the girl. she is not your type. Better you choose another girl who could understand your feelings.

Basically she'd started to tell me about her crush (now her bf) and I felt kind of at a loss of what to do so I told her how I felt and she either:
1. Didn't address it (switched topics)
2. Ignored it
3. Downplayed it

I was really honest about it too and she just seemed to dismiss it all, not because she didn't take me seriously but i think it was because she wasn't interested.

On a more recent note I caught up with her recently and she almost seemed to be keeping her distance (her bf was there). When me and her hang and her bf isn't there we really connect but she avoids me as soon as he's anywhere nearby. Mostly because I think she's told him about how I feel towards her. What do i do about that?

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Be the change you want to see in this world because in the end it's not the years in your life that count but the life in your years.

Get over it.

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Before she can respect you, you need to respect yourself.

Using direct game needs context. There's a difference between approaching a random girl in the street during the day and giving her a specific compliment and confessing your love for a girl who considers you a friend. The fact that her reaction was to ignore it and gloss over it shows you freaked her out pretty badly, most girls in that situation would say LJBF and be really nice to you but politely decline your advances.

Look, there's no easy way for me to tell you this but this is how I see your current situation:

#1. She knows how you feel but hasn't overtly rejected you.

#2. She has a boyfriend now (previously, just a crush).

#3. She shares her feelings for her crush with you (you've already been LJBF'd)

#4. She keeps her distance from you when he's around (demonstrating a clear preference)

#5. And finally, she still keeps you close when her boyfriend is not around

I hate to say it like this buddy....but she's turned you into the beta in this situation. She turns to you when her boyfriend isn't around. She'll even bitch and complain about him to you, and look to you for consolation when her feelings are hurt. You're almost the stereotypical best friend that every girl dreams of.

But when she's hot and horny she'll always go running to him for a good time. Reason? Girls don't fool around with people they intend to keep as friends. He's the one who gets laid, and you're the one that hears about it afterwards.

I'd love to help you out buddy, but there's a time to get in and there's a time to get out. You missed your chance to get in. Don't miss your chance to get out. Hope this helps

“I don't want to be at the mercy of my emotions. I want to use them, to enjoy them, and to dominate them.”

That's YOUR signature, if you mean it you need to move on.
If she's in your social group the best thing you can do is game other girls, she'll assume you've moved on and might even become a little jealous that she doesn't have your undivided attention anymore.
Once her relationship ends which it likely will, you'll have a better chance then if you're still in the friendzone.

You're overly attached to her.

What makes her so special?

Go find a hotter girl, and date her.

Watch her come running. The most effort you put into this one, right now, the less she'll want you. Don't cut her out entirely or be a dick to her, but start hitting on other girls - she isn't into you, so what the hell do you care? There's dozens of other girls. Not only let her see you doing it, but do it because you want to. She owes you nothing and you owe her absolutely nothing. If she's like "I don't like you hitting on other girls!" or something like that - who cares? She doesn't own you.

Be the man.

I think I'd be able to move on if I felt there was no chemistry between us but the thing is whenever we hang just me and her we click really well and I get the feeling that I could get her but I'm just barely falling up short.

Seriously, anytime the bf isn't there she'll look down out of shyness and blush whenever I give her a compliment and is giving off heaps of IOI's (putting her hands through her hair, leaning in etc) I just want to know what I need to do to push her over the edge so she'll finally do something about these feelings she has for me.

Thanks guys for all the help but honestly I've heard the "leave her" advice way too often. I do game girls besides her and have even had a few girlfriends but she doesn't know about it, so should I start introducing them to her and see if she gets jealous?

That's the kind of advice I'm looking for and any help will be greatly appreciated.

Cheers

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Be the change you want to see in this world because in the end it's not the years in your life that count but the life in your years.

You feel there's chemistry. She almost certainly doesn't, else you'd be fucking her.

Keeping a girl a secret from this girl? And you think you can get her? No. Put that coffee down sir.

If a girl is affecting your life so much that you are keeping women secret from her, in the hopes she'll suddenly go "Oh wait, I've wanted X this entire time!" you've got this all wrong.

That will never happen, and you're doing it wrong.

Now you can continue to live in your fantasy of this, and continue being her bitch, OR you can man up, start dating other girls GENUINELY, and stop giving a fuck what she thinks about you.

Which is just about the only real way to ever get her.

Otherwise, and I cannot emphasize this enough - you will never get her. Not ever. She will always use you, and you'll either deal with it for the rest of your life (like my uncle, who had been friendzoned for 15 years), or you'll get sick of it and leave (more typical).

That being said, you're putting way too many resources in this girl - anyone here who has even the smallest amount of game can read this from what you're posting. The girl ABSOLUTELY REALIZES she has you on lockdown. Girls are better at this than we are - they've been doing it since they were babies.

Trust me, I've been in a similar-ish situation - a girl friendzoned me (I didn't really realize that's what she was doing because I wasn't actually as into her as she thought - girls seem to think I'm super into them when I'm not) and dated a very beta BF. She kept treating me like I was weaker willed than him, which was sorta like, "Whaaaaaa?"

The girl literally thinks you're weaker willed than her boyfriend, and less of a man. Think of how not manly you think he is.

She thinks you're less manly than that.

And right now, with you investing resources in a girl who doesn't want to fuck you - you're doing exactly what she thinks a less manly guy would do - stay in that situation just all in the chance, the hope, the possibility, that you might get the prize that is her.

Fuck that mindset buddy. If you continue to be her bitch, and let her control you, she won't want you.

And she shouldn't. Because you're not being a man.

Now man up, get over her, and go after other girls LEGITIMATELY and not in an attempt to make her jealous.

Huh, I'd usually ignore advice like this but what you're saying kinda makes sense...

I like her but maybe its time I moved on :/

Thanks man, it wasn't easy to hear but I appreciate the honesty.

I'll let you guys know if theres any developments throughout the year

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Be the change you want to see in this world because in the end it's not the years in your life that count but the life in your years.