Well I'm really behind here, so lets try to get this up to date...

Week of Jan 27 - Feb 2

Not much to say about this week really. Once again, I got a bit off track with things, and I took 2-3 days off school, so not much to report pickup wise. I found that when I did my 'carbup', I just extended it a bit and found that I binged a bit on shit food and got off track with my eating. I'm trying a bit different of an approach now, and I'm not going to keep my carbs as low. I'm not trying to diet down to contest levels here, so if my goals are to just lose a bit of fat I can keep my macros a bit more balanced. We'll see how it goes. I'm just not the type of person that works well with 'refeed' type things where you allow yourself to pig out or binge for a day, because shit never stops with just one day. And that goes the same for any other habit I've ever had. For me, it's usually an all or none thing.

Plus, I suppose at least recently I have a few tendencies to get a bit pissed off here and there, and I really don't need anything to add to that. Keeping carbs that low just added fuel to the fire. I like to look at working out and watching what I eat as a lifestyle, not some "diet" that I'll follow for a few weeks. So looking at it that way, it's best to make whatever you're doing sustainable and something that you can live with. That's not to say I'll never take carbs that low or try that again, it's just that right now it's not the greatest time and it's really not necessary.

Anyways, there really wasn't much to report on for that particular week.


Week of Feb 3 - Feb 8 (today)

Well, I rarely ever get sick, or at least not much more than a sniffle cold, but it seems that I got that nasty flu that's been going around. I never got my flu shot either, so I suppose it's not all that surprising considering I go to a school with thousands of people who are all sniffling and coughing etc everywhere. I guess it was just a matter of time until my luck ran out.

I got sick Wednesday, and I'm still feeling like shit today.

I did, however, make a few approaches earlier in the week. The only one that I'll mention is this Serbian chick that I talked to for a bit. I was walking by a bench, and we made eye contact but I was on my way somewhere so I kept going. On my way back not too long after that I noticed that she was still sitting there. So as I approached her, I couldn't think of much to say, so I asked her if she was in one of my classes (obviously I knew she wasn't). She was very nice and friendly and we talked for about 10 minutes until she had to go to catch a shuttle bus across the city to a different campus. I suggested we meet up for a coffee, and she said yes. I suggested that we exchange numbers as I pulled out my phone, and I barely got finished saying that and she said that she'll just take my number. I think that's the first time I've ever got that. Anyways, I gave her my number, but I'm chalking that up as a 99% chance of a flake. Looking back, as soon as she said she'd just take my number, I should have just said ok, well maybe we'll just run into each other later then, nice meeting you. But anyways, either way, no big deal, at least I tried.

I still have one of the two chicks on the go from online dating, but things just haven't worked out yet to see her. I have another hot Indian chick that takes my bus on Mondays and Wednesdays that looks to be quite promising. We've smiled and made eye contact a few times now, so Monday I'll make a point of approaching her.

But anyways, that's a brief rundown of the past two weeks. I'm going to try to get back to regular updates now.

General Thoughts

I'll just briefly mention a few things that I have been thinking about. Mainly it's just to do with my 'mood' that I was in while I kept my carbs low and trying to figure out what was wrong. Well it occurred to me that a big part of why I felt kind of 'down' was those few days that I wrote about where I said that I started to come to the realization that things at the school are winding down, and my days were kind of passed. For me that was a really tough pill to swallow, and just walking around there looking at all the chicks and thinking to myself that I'm 'too old' for them kind of fucked me up.

Shit is over when I say it's over, and it's over when I want it to be. Nobody or nothing is stopping me from trying except myself. So 'accepting it' was what kind of killed a lot of my drive and ambition, and it just affected my mood a lot. But when I thought about it, it's really understandable too. I mean I've said many times in this journal that I prefer younger girls, and am not into older chicks. So if I started to accept the fact that my time has passed for younger chicks, it's like giving my sex life a death sentence! Anyways, fuck that. I'll keep doing what I'm doing and kick that negative shit to the curb where it belongs.

The one online chick that seems to be into me is 21 and she has her own place and has already invited me over. So banging a 21 yr old should lift my mood up and get me back in there focused again where I should be. We'll see what happens.

Well today was a snow day, and I doubt I"ll be doing much else this weekend except recovering from this fucking flu, so I doubt I'll have much more to report on until Monday.

Not much to report on so far this week.

Monday and Tuesday

I still wasn't feeling all that great Monday, so I decided to stay home and just study as I have a midterm at the end of the week.

I didn't have any classes on Tuesday, so I'll be spending the day doing some work as well as studying for my midterm.

So that's about it, nothing too exciting going on so far this week. This flu has been tough to shake, but it's definitely on it's way out.

I'll be going to school tomorrow for sure, so we'll see what happens.

Hi,

I have just read through your journal, and it seems like you have moved quite a bit since you started

First of all:
- You are approaching several times a week!

If I read right you have not yet been sleeping with any of your university approaches?, but you have succeeded with your online approaches

- What are you doing differently?

Hey, thanks for following along! It's funny that you mentioned progress, because I was just about to send off a fairly long post that talked about my progress etc as one of the themes. Its seems that I may have been too hard on myself lately, so I took a step back and had a look at where I came from and my overall progress I've made since I discovered the PUA stuff (a bit over a year). I realized that it's not that bad, and that I should be a little more patient, as changes don't happen overnight. Looking at the big picture helped to put things in perspective for me.
That's an interesting question. I try to give an honest of a breakdown as I can when dealing with this journal, and I'm not entirely sure I know the reason for that. Like I have mentioned before, I still think I just need to approach more, because 'cold approaching' seems like it's usually not as simple as doing a few approaches here and there and getting a 50% success ratio.

I am in a pretty tough environment at the school too, as most people there compared to me are quite young. Even still, my two most recent lays from online dating in the summer were girls that were 22 and 25, so the ages are still fairly close. And I still have a 21 yr old on go now that I need to get things moving with.

I think it just comes down to the things I've said previously. I need to approach more, and I need to take more chances and not play things as safely. And when I do get a girl interested in me, I have to escalate it and not waste so much time in making plans to meet them. I know I've killed off a few chances in the past year as a result of things going cold on me while I screwed around doing whatever instead of trying to meet up.

But even still, that is interesting to think about, and I'm going to continue to think about that and see if I can identify anything else that might help me.

I was only at school Thursday and Friday this past week, and there isn't much to report, well nothing new anyways.

General Thoughts

Well, I've definitely been slacking a bit on posting in the journal lately. Truth is, for awhile I was considering stopping updates because I started to think it wasn't benefiting me anymore. I think I was putting too much pressure on myself to improve and reach my end goal too quickly. I'm a harsh self critic, so I took a step back and reflected on the progress I've made when looking at the big picture. It's been a bit over a year since I first discovered this PUA site. And I didn't really get on the whole self improvement aspect of this until roughly 6-9 months ago. So I realized that I have made a lot of improvement in the past year, not only with game but also in other areas of my life as well.

Now some of these things are just minor improvements, but the important point is that I have made progress, and at the pace I'm going, in another year or two I'll be miles ahead of where I am now. And it's also true that I haven't pushed myself nearly as much as I could, so if I step things up that way then I know I'll make even more progress going forward. So in a nutshell I just took a step back and realized that there is no reason for me to get too frustrated, because I have moved forward and I have a plan in place now to move ahead even more.

I can't expect to change overnight, and that's something that I have to keep in mind. I made up a 'self improvement strategy' document, and part of what spurred me to do that was that I noticed Daniel Balboa's journal was gone. It's too bad, because there was a lot of good stuff in there. But that got me thinking, maybe it's what wasn't in the journal that's just as important now that it's gone. And what I mean is that there were no magic one liners, no shortcuts, complicated equations, or magic tricks or anything like that anywhere in it. By posting regular updates, he basically laid out the framework of how he made a change, and it was clear that there was no secret strategy or anything that he used. It really does come down to commitment and hard work.

There was a vision of where he wanted to go, a plan put into place on how to get there, the dedication and determination to stick to that plan and make adjustments as needed, and the desire to reach that goal. And that got me thinking, it sort of struck me that it was that 'simple' and it was basically laid out right there in front of me. It just made me think that if I want to make a change, then that's all that you have to do. Easy right? lol

So that's what I started to do. I just sat in front the computer and opened a new document and started to list several different areas where I could improve. Some of those were 'game related' social-type of things, while others were organizational or school/study oriented and some were just other general things. Now some of the items I have are 'easy' to do, while others are going to be harder and will require more effort and commitment. But what was interesting was that after I brainstormed and wrote down all the things that would make me or my life better, I found that there were several things that I could do that would be very easy and would require only a little extra effort or require a small change in my routine or habits. So with only a little bit of ambition, motivation and commitment, I could knock a handful of things off that list and be a 'better' me because of it. I just have to do it.

So when I look at it that way, by making this list out it really put things in perspective for me. It made me realize that I could make a noticeable and definite change for the better, and to do some of it won't really be that hard at all. And if I make an effort to push myself socially a bit more, then I know the game aspect of my goals will be coming along well too.

When looking at my progress at game, I have to keep in mind that approaching a chick at school is something that I never would do in the past. I have talked to girls at school I didn't know before I got into game, but it was mostly just ones in my class where I had an 'excuse' to talk to them. What I mean is that I'd never go up to a chick on the bench and do a 'cold' approach like I will now. And I remember the first few bench approaches I did around a year ago were really shaky at first. But now, a year later, I've done dozens of approaches like that, got a handful of numbers and find it much easier to do than I did at first. There's still lots of work to do, no doubt there, but the point is that I have made a lot of progress in that regard in the past year. And it's true that I haven't banged any of those girls, as the few lays I got over the summer were from online dating. But again, it's only been a year, I can't expect to be completely changed in that amount of time.

And sometimes I forget a bit too, as I've been hard on myself for only approaching when a chick is sitting on a bench, but I totally forgot that two of my approaches I did in the fall were actually moving targets. They were walking out of class and I just went up to them. So I have done stuff like that, it's just that I need to do more of it. But anyways, I guess the point I'm making is that in the middle of my big long posts where I was getting pissed off I should take a step back and look at my progress in the big picture, and realize that it's not that bad. Is there room for improvement? of course there is, but I shouldn't lose sight of the gains I've made either.

But I really do feel like I'm on the verge of bringing a better version of myself out. I'm going to make a point of following my 'self improvement strategy' and rereading it daily and make all of the things I mentioned in it into new habits that after awhile I won't even have to think about. But that's what it comes down to though, how bad do you want it? How much do you want to change? I need to have to want it bad enough to keep up the motivation and the consistency that's needed to pull this off.

But I think it's a really good idea to write down things like that. It doesn't have to be called 'self improvement strategy', as to some that might sound kind of gay, lol, but even if it's a list scribbled on the back of your phone bill that says 'shit I need to work on', well that works too. I just think there is benefit in seeing it written down, because it's easy to just sit there and think about it, but thoughts fade, and having it written down on paper or on the computer just makes it more 'real' and seems to make me more accountable to do it, especially if it's in a spot where I can read and add to it on a daily basis, and even more so during the first few weeks while you're trying to make new habits.



tl;dr version:

Was considering stopping the journal.
Realized my progress overall isn't that bad.
Made up a new self improvement strategy.
Going to continue posting in the journal.

Some thoughts:

You've hit the nail on the head. I don't think there are any shortcuts in life. You pick something(s) you want to improve and you take action, consistently.

I just moved into a new apartment. I have a HUGE mirror along one wall, floor to ceiling. The other day I bought some dry erase markers and have found it very enlightening and eye opening to just write shit on there and then immediately erase it. As you know, I am a HUGE proponent of daily journaling. It's helpfulness can't be underestimated and in a forum, there is an added aspect of accountability. But you still have to sort of "organize and filter" your thoughts. With my mirror, its just whatever comes out. And then I erase it and its gone. My eyes only. Anyways, I've been writing a quote or thought on there every night before I go to bed, and then when I wake up, there it is, to (hopefully) influence my whole day.

Right before I sat down and read this I wrote this one, from Teddy Roosevelt: "It is hard to fail. But it is worse to have never tried to succeed." I guess that goes back to my first point, all you have to do is try. This morning my roommate was asking me how long I plan on running my business. Essentially, he was saying that it sounded exhausting and non-sustainable to do things the way I am now. And there's truth to that. But the other truth is that I have only been doing this since August. Not even 6 full months and things are progressing nicely. And the real, ultimate truth and what I told myself after was this: everything I've ever set my mind to, I've succeeded at. That's because I refuse to quit and I proceed smartly. I don't believe in magic pills or quick fixes. Sure there are ways to speed the process, but life is about progress and progress is about paying your dues.

And that brings me to my next point, the 80/20 principle. Maybe you know it but it basically says 20 percent of the input is responsible for 80 percent of the output. So your post alludes to that. There are probably some pretty "small" things (the 20 percent) that you could address very quickly and have huge impacts (the 80 percent). For me, that's being near the ocean. That 20 percent input is responsible for 80 percent of my life's fulfillment.

Also, from a game specific standpoint, I wouldn't get discouraged. It took me a little over one year to really "learn" nightgame and then about an equal amount of time (actually longer because I was very slow to begin day approaching and had months where I wanted to learn it but was too inconsistent with approaching). So two years and some months. Like I've said before, you just gotta chip away at the stone. Every day, in all things.

That's a good idea with the markers and writing on your mirror. I don't have a mirror like that, but I've been meaning to buy one of those white dry erase boards to write things on. I can see doing something similar working for me, so I think I'll pick one of those up within the next few days.

Well I hope things are going well with your business, I know that it can be really hard especially at first getting things up and running smoothly. And I guess if you approach that the same way you approach other areas, then I'm sure you'll do well.

With me, I've often struggled with consistency, and that's something I'm really trying to improve. It's like I'll get on a good routine, pattern or whatever with something, then after a period of time I just stop, or something takes me off course and I get away from whatever it was that I was doing. I guess it does come down to how bad do you want it. And if I stop and start many different things, then it might be a fair point to say or ask how bad did I really want it in the first place. I don't mean I've been like that with everything, but lots of hobbies/projects or changes and things like that have turned out the same way for me in the past. For me it's usually the same thing that takes me off course, some old habits from the past sometimes creep up on me. That's another area that I'm trying to improve on and make a permanent change in.

But to try to be positive, the way that I look at it is that at least I'm moving forward in the grand scheme of things. Sometimes with me it's a few steps forward, and one back again, but at least progress is being made overall. And I can honestly say without a doubt at all that my life overall is much better than it was a few years ago. Each year it gets a bit better as I slowly improve bit by bit.

And I try not to get discouraged when it comes to game, but again, I have made progress overall despite some bumps along the way. I'd like to make faster progress, but that part is on me and how much I want to push myself. But I'm trying though, and with my self improvement document I made up I'm sure that'll push me further in the direction that I want to go. Like I mentioned in one of my last posts, I just have to stop sometimes, take a step back, and put things in perspective and realize that compared to several years ago, I have made a lot of progress in many areas of my life. I guess we all start from different places, have taken different paths, and have our own set of challenges to overcome, and I have to realize that and not expect miracles overnight.

Monday to Thursday

Not much really going on this week so far. I don't have any classes for the week, so except today (Thursday) I haven't been there. Monday - Wednesday I had some school stuff to catch up on as well as some other work I had to do, so that kept my fairly busy.

I decided to go to the school today to do some work in the library. I made a couple of brief approaches that really didn't go anywhere. The school is pretty much a ghost town this week, but there still are some people here and there.

I'll most likely be going back in there tomorrow for 3 or 4 hours until about 4 or 5 pm. I've been off the gym for a week and a half now. When I got the flu that took me off training for the better part of the week, and like I was just saying, sometimes all it takes is something like that to fuck up my rhythm. My plan now will be to start a fresh week back on Monday. My diet has also gone to shit in the same period, so that'll be back on track by Monday as well.

And I know I've said it a few times lately, but it looks like I'll be going out for some night game this weekend, probably Saturday night. So I'm kind of pumped for that! Hey DB, how's that club game primer document you were working on coming along? haha, could use a few pointers! But anyways, I'm looking forward to that. There's been too much talk about that lately and not enough follow through.

It's done. I sent it off. Should be up any day now.

Hey, cool, I just saw part 1 and I'm going to read it over in a minute.

I just wanted to clarify what I said in my last post, as it could be taken two ways depending on how you read it.

I was talking about the fact that I had been planning on going out for night game for awhile, but haven't actually done it yet. So when I said there's been too much talk about it and not enough follow through, I was talking about myself and the fact that I've talked about going out for night game but haven't done it yet.

After I reread it I kind of thought it could be taken it two ways. I was thinking, damn, I hope he doesn't think I'm talking about his club game article! lol If it did come across like that, sorry bro, I should proof read my shit a bit more carefully soemtimes!

Anyways man, the article looks great! Hopefully my plan doesn't fall through and I can get out there and give it a shot.

Friday

I went into the school again today to do some more work in the library. Once again, the school was pretty empty.

I did manage one approach though.

I noticed this chick sitting by herself at a set of tables and chairs. She looked to be a nerdy/geeky kind of girl, which is ok, I can kind of get into that sometimes. She looked quite thin and had glasses on. She was doodling and drawing some things on a piece of paper. So I sat down and got out one of my books and started to look it over.

I looked across to her, and asked her a question about where I could get something from a particular office. She was nice and friendly, but I noticed that she seemed very shy, and I got the impression that she was kind of socially awkward a bit. But we talked back and forth for about 10 minutes or so. She checked her phone and realized that she had to go for her class. I got her name, and as she was packing up I asked her if she had a bf. She said no, and she seemed like she was a little flustered because she dropped something as she got up. I just let her go without asking her if she wanted to meet up later.

After the fact, I was kind of kicking myself for just letting her go. It was hard to tell if there was much there, but she was very nice, asked me lots of questions, and we had a nice, but albeit brief chat. It wasn't that I was 'scared' or pussed out or anything, I just decided to let her go, and I don't even really know why. I think part of it was the fact that she was 'nerdy' and her and I would have been a bit of a visual mismatch. She wasn't great looking, but she was a bit cute. Another reason is that just by the way that she was sitting, my guess was that she was probably as tall as I am.

So anyways, I just let her get up and walk away. It was one of those split second decisions I made not to pursue it, but after she left and I had a chance to replay the interaction in my mind and think about it a few times, I kind of regretted it.

But other than that, there wasn't really anything else to mention today. I might end up going in tomorrow too actually even though it's the weekend. I have to finish something that's due for Monday, and part of my new self improvement strategy is to get out of the house more and to be social.

I read it and recognized both possibilities. In any case, it didn't bother me whatsoever. I've got a pretty thick skin.

This is absolutely fantastic. Ideally my game would be like this.

You seem to know your stuff so I'll run this by you.

How do you keep yourself mentally fresh for gaming?

I've found that with a lot of my school work and other stuff, I'm mentally drained and cant really put forth any good effort for my game. Don't know if you have any experience or thoughts with this.

lol

Man, I took this as sarcasm when I first read this. Just about spit my tea over my keyboard! lol

Thanks though!
Well, I don't always follow my own advice, but I do have some thoughts anyways.

If the amount of school, work, or whatever else that you have isn't going to change, then the best thing that you'll do is learn to deal with what you have better. I'd try to be as organized as I could be. Keep ahead with your school as much as you can and don't get behind. Eat healthy, exercise, and get as much rest as possible. Getting a handle on all those things will undoubtedly lower your stress and should give you more overall energy.

Daniel Balboa gives good advice when it comes to this stuff, but another idea I got from him and how he does things is to write things down and organize your life. Depending on what works for you, it could be a daily journal, a 'self improvement strategy', or break your life down into categories and write down all things you want to improve, and make a point to work on them. Do something like that, or whatever variation that works for you and make it something you'll keep up with. Journalling or writing things down can definitely help you to be more organized, and also more accountable to make the change you're after. And if you're more organized and on top of your shit, your stress levels should drop and your energy levels should rise.

I hope that helps a bit, but I suffer from the same thing at times, so I don't have a definite answer to that. I often find myself searching for motivation and ways to keep moving forward. The best thing that you can do its set a goal for yourself, chip away at it day by day, and find some way that works for you to make yourself be accountable for it.

Well I'm a bit behind here, and if I took my own advice that I just gave in my last post, things might have been better for the last four or five days. I had lots of work to do as well as school stuff and from Thursday - Sunday were really busy, and therefore there wasn't too much to report on.

So I got my shit done, and I'm finally in a position now to put my 'self improvement strategy' into effect and move things forward.

Yesterday was my first day back to the gym in almost two weeks, and I'm getting my eating and diet back on track now too.

Getting sick with the flu really fucked me up, because once I was away from the gym and good eating for those six days that I was sick, it was all too easy for me to just continue with that for another week until I got my shit together again.

I bought a big dry erase board and have now started writing motivational and other things on it daily. Thanks DB for the idea.

I wasn't at the school for very long yesterday, so I didn't get any approaches in. I probably could have done one or two, but I guess I kind of pussed out.

Tuesday

Well today was a bit better of a day. It feels good to be back at the gym and back on the right track with things.

I made a few approaches today, but nothing really came out of them. A couple of them were just friendly comments I made as I sat beside a chick on a bench. A couple of them I didn't even try to continue past my initial friendly comment.

Near the end of the day I saw this chick sitting on a bench, so I went up to the bench and as I sat down I said something like 'I'm gonna share this bench with you for a minute or two'. We talked a bit, and I let the comvo die out a few times and restarted it again. She seemed kind of shy, and I didn't sense a whole lot of interest, but I may have misread things. Not much more to say about that one really, but it did feel good to be a bit more social today and talk to a few people.

One thing I should mention, and to those who have followed this journal probably know, but I'm only at the school on a part-time basis. So some days I just have one class, and other days I have two classes with a short break in between. So the point is that some days I'm not there for very long until I have to leave to go do other things such as work, depending on the day and what's going on.

If I was a full time student and spent the entire day at school then I'm sure I'd end up having more approaches to write about.

But anyways, I guess that's pretty much it to get things up to date. I know I said it before, but I do plan on having pretty much daily updates now. There is only about 6 weeks left of school, so I want to get out there and get something going on. And I know I've also talked about going out for night game a lot, but I had to cancel for this past weekend because I was too busy. But hopefully I'll get out this weekend.

General Thoughts

I don't have too much right now to say, but I'll briefly comment on the subject of my openers.

Today I used the "did you take xxxx class last year" or something like that. I've said before that I don't really believe the opener matters too much, because no matter what I open with I'm usually transitioning away from that very quickly into regular talk anyways.

But from a pushing myself out of my comfort zone standpoint, I was thinking that i should get away from those openers at times and try others that I rarely do like just saying "hey, how's it going", or some sort of compliment opener.

For whatever reason, I feel the best doing the indirect sort of openers, as I find it much easier to just say something like that. I like those because it allows me to gauge her interest or friendliness in talking to me, and I can proceed accordingly. At the end of the day, as long as I open I'm happy, so I guess it's not that much of a big deal either way.

And another thing that I was thinking about was that I think I may have passed up on opening some chicks lately because I've been trying to get away from my indirect openers but am not sure what to say instead. And I think that I have missed some chances because of that indecisiveness.

So I guess the takeaway point that I'm making is that if I want to talk to a chick, I should just say something, because anything is better than just sitting there and doing nothing, or letting her walk away.