basically met a girl 10 months ago, she added me on Facebook. we had good banter, finally last week i went around hers, made out and had her clothes off. no sex (LMR, I couldnt be arsed) . second day the same shit except we were both hung over and she was a bit grumpy. i displayed some needy ass behavior saying i like her (DOH!) .

she used to chase me previously, but now there are hardly any texts. mainly because after day 2 she stopped texting me for a bit and i thought she was seeing someone else so i sent a long as txt saying she shud tell me if something was up. she was sick. now i look and feel like the dum-ars. this girl is a playerette so i had to check. she may have been still banging someone.

now it seems like shes got the power shift of the relationship and she hardly ever texts, as opposed to texting me every hour at the start.

also she said shes not ready for a relationship after a very rocky one

heres what we've been at recently:

ME : I dont kno you so im wandering Wtf is up. we only just started and you should know im not down to play the relationship card yet. you just had me confused when you said that im the guy you were seeing. you're a nice chic and i like where things are with us

Her: what do you mean when I said you’re the guy m seeing? Sorry if I confused you

Me: slipped outta your mouth when we were in the kitchen. You’re a confused vee thing anyway. Feeling betta today?

Her: oh. Oops. Yeah sort of better

me : alcohol withdrawal symptoms?!

Her: haha well ive definitely had the booziest weeks of my life sofar this year

Me : im gunna tag yo ass in Facebook. Ull love it

ME : oh yeah. Get that butt warmed up btw. Wer going for a training session. No excuses

Her: Urrrrrgh

Me: yes that’s the exact sound u’ll be making on your 20th rep

Her : oh god you’re not kidding?

Me: haha I never fk around when it comes to fitness. im going with a few others now. Be about 2 hours. I can meet you after. Plenty of time to eat up and get some energy in u

Me: dw ill go easy on you just this time

****no replies for ages, called twice no reply. so I decided to bail on her****

Me: Got caught up b4. lets give today a a miss. Something just came up

Her: O h hey, I just saw that you’d called. Been at xxx. Ok another day is cool

Her: you all good?

Me: course i am 

Four hours later at night:

Her : what you upto?

I froze her till next day

Me: morning you, where’s a good place to get a barrel bag from?

Her: Ummm

Me: did u get my txt abt the bag? Somehow ur txts are delayed

Her : yep, and maybe xxx?

Me: But…every man, woman nad their dog is rocking a xxx bag these days. Any good leather stores around your ways?

Her: Duno Sorry

Me: Well I got told xxx has some, I may wander there on my lunch break. U shud tag

Her: im flat out today since I had Tuesday off

ME: NP. Don’t work to the ground. We don’t want you getting sick, before getting sick from the weekend

Her: Im having a quiet one this weekend

Me: give it till Friday, you’ll come around

Her: na. decision has been made. Im broke ass too

Me: Good girl. Im prouda you

I haven’t texted after that.

Is this the end of the line? This is a girl that practically stalked me, added me and asked me around to hers and sent me txts asking about other girls, how she wants to meet after town and comments on my butt.

Its Friday. Id like to txt her and see if there's a chance or just gtfo and meet some other girl. Any suggestions or texts I should send her way?

im all about learning guys. this needy cycle im on is a massive sticking point for me. im hoping that the example above will help me learn more

_________________
Your thoughts become your words, your words become your actions, your actions become your habits, your habits become your character, and your character becomes your destiny.

On to the next one.

There are a few points to highlight but I think the crux of the issue is this: You come across C&F, but unfortunately, its mixed with needy undertones. It doesn't look like you are in demand by women or have an active social life etc. And you know what? You are probably right that shes banging some dude.

This might not even be YOUR fault. She could def be one of those girls that falls hard but moves on real quick. Women like that have daddy issues anyways. She's gonna be the loser if this is indeed a habit of hers, so on to the next one man, she ain't worth your time or money.

Thanks for the Reply RIRI

the thing is that im not in demand with women, i manage to hookup every now and then which keeps me sane for the time being. had a few more developments on this girl since the last post, see if this adds up to what you've said earlier.

me: Now then ****, has the wine conquered you yet?

Her; nope but im heading out for a walk up the massive hill soon.

me: aye? what hill? no work today?

Her: yeah, im getting back to the lunchtime exercise with Neil (OLD married fag. Slap in the face nonetheless since i was meant to train her).

ME: good girl, any exercise is better than no exercise. since ur having quiet weekend u fancy a catchup? ive been invited to a few drinks this wknd but id rather save the effort n cash and chill 4 a bit or hit the beach.

her: im heading to a mates party tonight (NO drinking) and tomorrow ill be hanging with mum for her birthday. Sunday is my brother and nephews birthday so im having a busy quiet weekend haha. just quiet off the drink..

ME: well my times valuable to me. im probably gonna be busy till next week. hope u have a good one. gimme a txt when u wanna catchup or do sumthin.

no reply i thought she gotr the message not to fk around with my time.....then on sat night at 9.p.m as i was as drinking.

Her: you out tonight?

ME: Sure am. U?

Her: Yeah

i left it there. couldn't be bothered with this bird at that time of the night. went out, roped in two girls for a groupie with 3 of my buddies.

this girl seems to have an issue with me going out and meeting new girls. i apparently give the player vibe off but she is a player herself. she made it clear that she doesn't want a relationship. there is no way that ill consider her for a relationshit.so WTF is she really after?!

the only reason i don't want to let this go is because, she is playing me hard and i wanna play the game to get a bit of higher ground. We all know its too easy to just Give up and that's not my style. i just want to play the game as long as she can so i can give her a taste of her own medicine.

any suggestions?

_________________
Your thoughts become your words, your words become your actions, your actions become your habits, your habits become your character, and your character becomes your destiny.

I think you are doing the right thing, however you came across as needy indeed. I have learnt a lesson that you shouldnt say to much about feelings, rather show her , you know not just text about them etc. Also the text where you said have a good one, msg me if you wanna catch up, was a good one in my opinion, i would just move on and forget her meet others, and just in case she chases you again, fuck her good and see wat comes out your relation with her! good luck

you're right. SPAM im in talk with a few girls. potential FB's so ill see where that goes. i love being C&F. ive been like that all my life because i always do my best to make people laugh and keep them happy.i need to sort this cycle of being needy but how on earth do you stop that?

_________________
Your thoughts become your words, your words become your actions, your actions become your habits, your habits become your character, and your character becomes your destiny.

Read books on how to be an alpha male, and read the innergame section of this forum. They cover all the topics about how to stop being needy! Takes alot of time to read and understand, but if you follow trough, you'll truly be not needy. Good luck

Probably not a good sign when you ask a girl what she's up to and then she talks about how busy she is and doesn't propose alternative date times. If a girl you were interested in asks you if you're free, you might be not free but you will damn sure find some time soon to reschedule, right?

I would really put this girl low on the priority list. She knows that you'll reciprocate the attention she gives you. The best way to play this "game" with her is to just give less of a shit about her. Simple. Just treat her differently, don't text her back very often, don't call her etc.

She sounds like a snake, navigate the jungle!

thanks so much for the replies lads, this will help me along the way a lot.


so i froze her out on sat night.

thought i might endit by sending a text. here's how it went

ME: Hey Goof, i bet my weekend can beatup ure weekend.

HER: Ooh Tell me all immediately

ME: first u gtta tell me yours

Her: went to a flat warming friday night. town afterwards. saw my ex and him and the guy i was talking to almost got in a fight. hungover as Saturday. went shopping and mums for tea. went to a mates flat ended up drinking till 4a.m watched my 3 year old nephew play soccer Sunday morning went to mum's for lunch, took my dog to the beach then dads for dinner. BOOM! now tell me yours.

Im taking my time. im actually busy

HER: was my weekend too good that yours decided to drop out of the competition?

now she contradicted herself a few times since our last chat.

her plans for the weekend had changed dramatically. she was drinking (she said shes cutting back) and for her ex to start fights over someone else, there must have been something going down with the other dude.

i can easily cave in and say i had a 3some, which is what i actually did on sat. But, Cool people don't show off, so i was thinking of sending this:

ME: Friday night i got home, changed my socks and ironed my favorite tea towel, sat morning i slept until 11 and then ate serial all afternoon, sat night i had a few quiets with some mates. they drank - i sculled bleach for fun. Sunday i donated some coins to a dwarf, and made a wish. he headbutted me in the knob instead. id say boom too but that's what that dwarf said when he cracked me and it brings back too many painful memories


you're all right. this aint the one to take home to mummy. just another notch that i want in my belt. i don't like giving up as i said its too easy so im gonna mind fuck her as long as i can

what you guys reckon? should i proceed with this?

_________________
Your thoughts become your words, your words become your actions, your actions become your habits, your habits become your character, and your character becomes your destiny.

If we are talking about contradicting behavior, how about this "needy ass behaviour" post about your "sticking point"? You now have realized that shes not important but somebody you want to use. Right?

I think you are bullshitting us, saying she's "just another notch" on the belt. You actually have really fallen for this girl and don't want to move on to the next....unless you're just a flaky idiot who has 3somes on weekends but is all worried about some chicks ex getting in a fight. Pick one, do you give a shit or not? If not, move on man.

Either way, you should be going elsewhere for advice on screwing women over for your own benefit.

ok...maybe you didn't understand what i said, i wanted to teach this girl a lesson. in the process of gaming for her i fell for her. she obviously played a better game than i did because towards the end she ended up going on a date with someone yesterday - valentines day.


this is what happened.

i sent her a joke two days ago about my weekend.

She mentioned that she backed off from texting and getting close to me because i was pushy and escalating too fast and its too soon to date straight after her ex.

i apologized several times because all i wanted to do was convince her that i wasn't seeing anyone. i was. believe me or not i was with a few girls whilst i was getting with her. she somehow sensed this.how the fuck are girls so good at picking things like this up?

heres our text convo.


Her: How many people have you hooked up with this year?

Me: Snow white and ALL the huntsmen

Me. May i ask why it even matters?

Her: Doesn't. just curious

Me: come on, thts not the answer u wer after was it? so far the spotlights on me. i cud ask u the same

her: For me there's been quite a few.

me: while we were hooking up?

her: No way. im not like that

her: You?

me: not my style. i cant help that other girls find me attractive. its upto me how i play that. i have been good so far hence why i think that this distrust between me n u is a little OTT

her: that's the thing, You're hot and girls must approach u all the time. i guess i haven't met many guys that haven't got self control.


me. they do. im nt gunna lie. ive had some bangin women in my life to say its all the same. i value respect and trust

ME: so *** its valentines day and id very much like a kiss frm u.see ive chosen u over my other 5000 1/2 options. whats it gunna be?

her: umm ive kind of got a date

me: so u have been seeing other guys???

her: nope i wouldnt say i have been seeing anyone. i met him in the weekend and he asked me for dinner. nothing has happened between us.

me: *** we were doing stuff 2 weeks ago. how on earth can u say all tht n move so quick? i thnk ur lyin eh. u quite obv enjoy all the attention here seeing u have the nerve to txt me n date someone elser?

her:hes a friend of a friend that i met at a bbq. come on dont act like you havent done anything since then
really? you havent? i dont believe you! i just assumed you were so i didnt think it was a problem. and i havent done anything with anyone else..

me: i can fkn swea. my friends will vouch for me. i have class and not some sick sense of attention seeking.

me: its ok. enjoy your date. i shoulda known something was up when ur always contradicting and conveniently bail on mei thought u were different for a sec but i see what it is. u have thrown a massive spanner in the works of us two getting any closer. i wont be talking to you anymore because all this nonesense makes meeting you unappealing n pointless

her" WOW thts a bit hars. just to make it clear i havent been hookig up or hangin out with anyone else so dont start thinkn tht shit please. you are so wrong. i didnt expect you to turn Nasty!

me: Im not nasty. u just never gave me a chance. its coz i cared. i txt, call and try to cu coz i actually give a shit. when have you ever tried tht for me?

her: sorry. i just assumed that u were seeing other girls cos thats the way you came across. as a bit of a player. and you werer a bit pushy trying to get in my pants i assumed that yu do that sort all the time. i obviously got it very wrong. i should have said something before.

me: dont ever play that card again. u dont know me so u cant assume shit. so what happens now? can we meet atleast?

her: if we do it'll have to be next week.

ME: next week? u know what? forget it. u can make all the time for random dudes and not me, that speaks volume of what u think. im no ones second choice. ive put way too much effort in this for nothing. if ur still real about making shit work then u can make the effort. otherwise, it was nice meeting u.

her: oh my god. as i said this is a hectic time for me and the family


me: again, sorry for over reacting. i did care for u not to think ur some slag hence why i was annoyd. its just a big fat misunderstanding between us two. hope the date goes well n the familys ok. take care.

i left it there.

im not bullshitting. now im the looser wanting to kick shit over at my house while she probably getting knobbed by some dickhead. i felt sick to my stomach after our conversation and i couldnt even concentrate on work. this is quite clear she isnt "any Girl" i have screwed at least 5 other girls during my time with her and i could care less about them as this one is the one ive fallen for.

i just want closure and advise on where i fucked up along the lines so i dont make the same mistake right now i feel like an absolute shithead

_________________
Your thoughts become your words, your words become your actions, your actions become your habits, your habits become your character, and your character becomes your destiny.

WOW!

your latest convo might be used as the prime example of needy behaviour and outcome dependance for generations to come.

Dude, pathetic. Every time you talk to her you bring up getting together. I guarantee you as soon as you say hi she's thinking to herself you're going to ask when you can see her again. She's rolling her eyes at you.

You need to chill. Tell her you're going out and doing shit and meeting girls and having a blast without her. It's exactly what she's doing to you and it's driving you crazy.

And now that you've expressed your interest in her you shouldn't neg her so hard. It comes across as being vindictive for getting rejected.

good reading, guys. keep it up

_________________
If I was ya man, baby, you'd
Never worry bout what I do
I'd be coming home back to you
Every night, doin' you right

so, we have some developments here,

i gave her a ring about 4 days after. not to chase pussy,i hate having people pissed at me, so this is to get some Closure.

HER: hey, sorry i was out when you called last night and had left my phone at home. so you know that i went on a date last week, well i ve decided i want to keep seeing this guy.i hate to say this stuff by text but thought you should know.

me: yo Punk! texting that shit is pathetic, but im glad we got some closure. we both know that this is a massive missed opportunity so good luck for this one babe. no hard feelings. cu out and about for a drink. cuddle monster - out

her: cool. glad we got it sorted too.

that is THE end. fuck it.

Lessons Learnt from this BS interaction :

1. Dont be needy. No one likes a needy bastard. like some said above, i need to work on inner game, and learn how to be alpha and not seek approval. i played some pretty solid game when she initiated contact through Facebook at the start of the interaction, but fell back to AFC chode mode. this is something im gunna need help with.

keywords: Alpha, inner game, non-needy, Abundance, Indifference.

2. learn to read between the lines and the way women sub-communicate. from what i understood, this girl was a massive player. hence why i never let my guard down. It takes one to know one. She was asking me about other girls before we even met up. quite clear to me in the end that although she likes to play the field, she is a one-man at a time sorta girl and my ways didnt sit too well with her. here's a set of responses and the likely reason why it failed.


earlydays:

***
her: hey how are you? Still getting up to mischief every Friday night?

me: hahah mischief....depends on the definition. i been around.

her: Haha coming from Mr-In-Town-every-Weekend! I've only seen you out like twice! I don't go out that much...

me: hahah wait! how do u know im in town every weekend then? u stalkin?!

***
her: i bet you get your hands on all the girls
me: tried to Sidestep that shit : Calling me a player eh? yeah i do like a bit of cricket every now and then
Her: yes. i do think you're a player.

***
her: do you have a mrs?
me: you crazy lil thing, if i did i wouldn't be talking to you.

her: I dont mind you coming over but i dont want anything to happen. not ready for that stuff after my ex.
me: neither. im not ready to be full on yet (DOH! - Lame response)
***

7's weekend here. big weekend for my City. i went dressed as Magic Mike. think this is where things really went pair shaped and she was having doubts about me. i spent the night before with her. she got needy as.

HER: what you get?
ME: bowtie, cufflinks and black pants. boom!
her. wow! hot!
her: guess ill have to bat all the other girls off to get my kiss tonight then?
me: naa it wont be that bad (DUMB FUCKIN RESPONSE)
her: good luck with that.
her: u got too many girls

was meant to meet her, never did because we both dicked around. she passed out with some lass naked next to her. i hooked up with loads of birds never bothered sealing the deal even if i could have.

the next day

her: so who did you take home that night?
me: i joined an orgy of 22 and a half
me: half coz there was a dwarf
her: gross


shes obviously trying to gauge me up here. and i failed. Messages like these were hard to figure at times, at one point, she blatantly admitted to backing off as she got the impression tht i was juggling girls

what gave it away were the fact that i was out every weekend, there were MANY Facebook posts and photos of/from other girls and my weekend escapades, the fact that i froze her out on Fridays, Saturdays most likely didn't inspire any confidence that i was going to be one that can be tied down.

LESSON: Learn when to stop negging a girl so hard and giving her sidestepped answers. theres a time to be cocky and time to do some real talk. learn where the line is.

3. Learn how to build comfort. yeah i skipped that shit (massive game changer and killed attraction)

4. leave texting to a minimal. cant really run a relationship through text. emotions and actions are bigger than empty words.

5. learn when to sexually escalate and push/pull. i was only trying to pull and this made her uncomfortable as, per her texts.

At the end of the day, the girl went with the safe option. I dunno who this lad is but im darn well sure that he is showing her a better time than i was while making her feel safe. This shit is literally killing me i tell you. I don't think ill giv her a chance again. if i did I may as well fuckin throw whats left of my balls over the tall grass.

Last week i went out to town with some gorgeous girls. Didn't feel like doing shit. There was one girl there that i probably could have bagged but id most likely windup thinking about the other one while im in bed with her

thanks for all your help. please correct me if needs be on this final post. as a matter of fact, i have our whole interaction on text and Facebook. pm me if you need this added to the thread. this is a massive lesson for me and for all the upcoming PUa's to learn.

i need help getting back on the Horse. my confidence that i've worked hard on this here had taken a massive dent, i am becoming bitter and annoyed easily which is working against me. drinking and chasing other girls is not the real option here is it? any ideas?

_________________
Your thoughts become your words, your words become your actions, your actions become your habits, your habits become your character, and your character becomes your destiny.

Mate I used to face the same issues as you when I first began gaming. Add me on FB if you want to. I pride myself on my text game I might just be able to help you out. Cheers