I have a Girlfriend for 4 months right now.

now she is in abraoad and she want to drink coffee with her family and some guy told her: "lets go to a shooting range". now she agreed to go with him only if one of her cousins will go too.

another situation is when she was in a car with her cousins and than they saw 5 guys on a motorbikes doing tricks.. now they start talking with them (all the girls in the car) and set to meet then next week.

now i feel that something is not right - I talked with her about that and told her that I don't accept this kind of behavior. she said we will speak tomorrow because she needs to sleep.

ok, i just want to say something - I trust my GF, BUT my main problem here is this:

I dont think that a girl that respect hereself - me - and the relationship needs to behave like this - she need to NOT allow this situations to happen..
personally - in my opinion, when those MALE guys asked them\her out - that was the moment that I was expected her to say: "HMMMM NO, thank you but i have a boyfriend and it's not proper!!!

pleaseeeeeee!! advices, TIPS, ideas how to behave and approach to this kind of situations will be very appreciated.


*btw: in the past, I had a GF with trust issues - what can I do - this is me.
I want to change myself but when I hear that my girl will just meet other guy - my stomach is turn over.

THANKS..

What the hell are you ? A pimp ?

A relationship is not a cage. She can behave however the hell she wants to behave. Yes,some things might be considered dissrespectful and if they are you sit down and talk like normal human beings and reach some sort of compromise. You don't just stomp your foot and smack the bitch.
Also,note that this 'problem' you have here is by no means a case of diss.
Let me translate that for you: "Hmm,I really wish I could , I'm sorry but I'm not allowed to have fun. You see , I'm have no freedom for I have a boyfriend."

Instead of trying to BE the best MAN in her life , you're desperately trying to prevent her from MEETING better man than you.

You wont get far with that attitude.
I'll let you decide which way is better.I said this a million times and I'll say it a million more:

"Getting the girl is easy. Keeping the girl is the challenge."

_________________
I know my place. It's me on top of the world.

My in depth texting & dating guide.
There's no such thing as shit-tests.
How to keep a girl.

fuck - you right, i think I draw her away from me - now the question is how the hell am I going to revert the situation in such way that she wont think I'm too needy (or it's too late now):

Every now and than it's actually okay to apologize. Tell her you acted like a wuss and you're sorry.

Once you fuck up the worst thing to do is not be able to take responsibility for it.

Just say:"Sorry babe , what I said to you was stupid. Have fun there."

_________________
I know my place. It's me on top of the world.

My in depth texting & dating guide.
There's no such thing as shit-tests.
How to keep a girl.

So your gf got invited on a date, is bringing her cousin too and has plans to go out with a group of motorcycle guys. First instance is a date, second is a hook up.

RC, what do you think? the fisrt instance is a date?

Me personally, I changed my mind, I really do think I acted like an idiot and I told her I"m sorry today.

I really believe all she wants to do is have fun, NEO87 don't forget she is on a vecation in abroad and the state of mind is changing to be more open mind and social.

I dont think it's a date (and I didn't thought it before as well). she have an opportunity to have fun, it's not like she is going to do enything with him, and keep in mind that she told me about this by herself - so if she wanted to do something she wouldn't tell me that.

There you go.

You don't have to worry about that.

Here's something very simple that you need to understand.

Most guys have a wrong mindset. When / if a woman cheats , the reasons are endless.

- You're not living up to the standards of a real partner (afcness , neediness , you know , you're constantly pushing her away) and she doesn't really have the balls to end it or is uncertain what she wants with you.

- She's a slut. Yes,good old daddy issues. Constantly seeking validation from every man she lays eyes on. Nothing you can do about that except recognize this trait before you catch feelings and get hurt and fuck her on occasion.

- She's in the "I wanna have fun moment". That can stretch anywhere from 16-24+ years old. Society makes people believe that that is that time of 'having fun and fooling around'. If you're good enough of a catch and the girl is smart enough to realize it , she's not gonna risk throwing you away for a fling. Again,notice the "If you're good enough of a catch". That's the only part you can control. Trying to control her and who she sees is the highway to failure.

- Drunk mistakes. People say "doesn't matter how drunk you are , love comes from the heart. If you loved me you wouldn't have kissed/fuck that guy while drunk". Newsflash: Alcohol goes straight in the bloodstream which goes where ? through the heart,exactly. I know it affects the brain and all that,I'm just trying to make a point. What it comes down to is self-control. If you do it once it may be accounted for as mistake.If you work hard enough for my forgiveness yeah,you might just receive it. Do it twice and you have no self control so get the fuck out of my life.

- The aimless drifter. She's in a relationship with you. You are awesome. She jumps another guys bones. She has no clue if she wants to commit to you or is afraid of it ,so she just goes through the motions with absolutely no purpose. Those people are to be avoided. If you don't know what you want , how the fuck is someone else gonna know ,right ?


Point is , if you want to maximize your rate of success with your relationships , you have to maximize how happy you are with yourself. You can't be just 'kinda happy' or contempt. Want a six-pack ? hit the gym and get a diet. Want a better job ? Great,go get it. Unhappy about your appearance ? Get a haircut,new clothes. Whatever ,just do it. You won't believe how much people try to rationalize their self-observed 'flaws' instead of putting some effort into correcting them.

Once you are honestly happy with who you are , you'll know that if she cheated it's entirely her fault. You played your hand right and she abused it. Her loss entirely.

You're now awesome. You want to celebrate life and you want someone to celebrate life with. If she doesn't reach your standards , someone else will. And yes,you are awesome and happy on your own now so indeed,you get to chose the girl you want.

_________________
I know my place. It's me on top of the world.

My in depth texting & dating guide.
There's no such thing as shit-tests.
How to keep a girl.

wow - thanks for the answer, I think you right and I will try to use this information in order to improve my life..
great mindset, again - thanks dude!!!

Happy to help.

_________________
I know my place. It's me on top of the world.

My in depth texting & dating guide.
There's no such thing as shit-tests.
How to keep a girl.

I don't understand what you're saying rc, I'm on my phone. All I was saying was that you wrre kinda right... it doesn't sound respectful of your relationship. First, guy invites her out. Most girls know this is a date. Guys don't do charity by taking a girl shooting. Next the motorcycle guys. Girls talk to motorcycle guys...That's a hook up vibe. Not saying she is cheating or to be paranoid but these are warning signs. A good gf would know the first guy was a date and say I have a bf tourist or not. The motorcycle guy thing could just be her friends trying to have fun or get laid.

Translation to what she said to the guy:

"If you wanna take me and my girls and pay for our shit and entertain use , sure , why not. But I'm not going with you alone so don't think it's a date".
Group of girls get approached by group of guys.
It's peer pressure. Some of them might wanna get laid , she doesn't wanna be left out. Doesn't mean anything.

In a vice-versa situation. Say OP is in the car with a few friends and some of the guys approach a group of girls. They set a meet-up. He doesn't want to miss out on a night out. That's it.Doesn't mean he's packing a 12-set of condoms.

Also , if someone has any intent of acting in ways someone close would disregard ( intention of cheating) that specific someone will try to hide these intentions and all events related to them.

Fact that she told him is a green flag.

_________________
I know my place. It's me on top of the world.

My in depth texting & dating guide.
There's no such thing as shit-tests.
How to keep a girl.

As I said the motorcycle guy thing could mean nothing. Regardless, key is whether she is stating she has a bf. Which I agree with from the first post. Not saying a relationship has to be a cage, but they're are some things you give up. One is advances from guys even if you're using them. The question is whether your gf is strong enough to let guys know she has a bf and can't go out with them when they're interested in her, or if she is the type who goes along with the flow and doesn't mention you because she's having fun.

she is very shy, I"m not sure if she told the guy she has a BF but i"m sure she doesn't gonna do anything so it dosen't matter to me.

R.C what do you think about what he's saying?

I disagree with what he says. She shouldn't give things up. Not even advances from guys. Advances from guys are a good thing ! It's a perfect opportunity to refresh her view of you.

What she should have is self control and half a brain. The fact that "I have a boyfriend" is no reason to not 'cheat' . The fact that "I have a great guy and we're great together" is the perfect reason to not do so.

If she constantly refuses guys because she's got a boyfriend and feels some sort of moral obligation because of this, her bits of curiosity will only grow stronger within. She shuts guys down immediately and so she doesn't really even know what she shut down. Curiosity naturally follows ,doubts , second-questions...

I always encouraged my girlfriend to take advances from guys.
"Have fun , flirt away. You're not in a cage. You're here by choice...that and my addicting awesomeness." is what I used to say to her.

I always had 100% confidence she would go anywhere near cheating on me. Why should she ?

It's something I learned from my parents in a way. The never said "NEVER DRINK NEVER SMOKE NEVER BALBALA" , rather , they encouraged me to do it. They also made sure I'd understand the consequences. In case of smoking for example , the consequences were the health-related issues it can cause.

"Take a smoke kid , see if you like it."

With that in mind , I never even wanted to try it anymore. I never gave in to peer pressure. When all the other kids were pointing their finger at me saying :"Yo ,wussy , be cool with us and take a smoke" , I could honestly reply with a superior "Fuck you , I'm better than you'll ever be".

Flirt is dangerous only to he who feels intimidated by it. If you beta out on her for flirting with x guy , it's dangerous indeed.

If you're alpha enough to have fun with her flirts , she'll be ever more attracted to you. This doesn't mean be ignorant. Don't pretend you don't care. You do.

If and when guys used to hit on my girl I told her things like :" Hey , at least pick on hotter than me. Don't wanna hurt my ego now,would you ?"
or
"So who's the better kisser ? I'm not even gonna ask about the sex , poor guy probably doesn't know which hole is which".

These were delivered in a cocky funny playful way,obviously.

The reason why all this was possible is because of what I described in my posts above. If she did go over the line and indeed cheat , it's her loss. By doing so she would've proved her unworthiness to me so in the end,I'd lose nothing.



Everytime she gets hit on by some guy it's your time to shine. She tells you that she saw this guy that's kinda hot ? You fuck her eyes out. Fuck her so hard that she's never gonna think about another guy for the next 2 months of walking funny.

Guy makes advances ? perfect opportunity to outshine him. Remember , YOU are her boyfriend. Others are contenders. Think of it as a mountain.

You're already higher on the mountain than everyone else. But then a contender appears and starts to climb. How could he possibly catch you ? Well :

1. He's a better climber so he's rapidly catching up.What do you do ? Start shouting hoping an avalanche hits and takes him away ? High risks are that that avalanche might take you away as well. Or just you , and leave him. So what do you do ? You put more effort into it. You become a better climber,the best one you can be.You know the mountain better than he does. The advantage is yours so use it wisely.

2. Someone starts climbing. Being beta will bring YOU down several levels. The new climber might not even be any good at it , but you are bringing yourself down and making it easier for him. Not a good solution,is it ? No, you alpha up and mind your own climbing. No way he's ever catching you if you don't help him out.Again,that mountain is yours. YOU OWN THAT MOUNTAIN.



Anyway , I'm trying to make this as clear as possible. A relationship is not a contract that prevents you or her from doing this or that. A relationship should be a form of celebrating life with another person. In order to do that with success , they must not hurt you and you must not hurt them, obviously. But they must WANT this. They must WANT to NOT hurt you. Feeling obligated to give up certain things is not a choice !

They must always have the choice of doing so and chose NOT TO because of how valuable you are for them. That's true loyalty. That's true love and thats a truly successful relationship.

_________________
I know my place. It's me on top of the world.

My in depth texting & dating guide.
There's no such thing as shit-tests.
How to keep a girl.

thank you man. you have no idea how much all the information that you gave me helped me to change my perception about all of this crazy subjuect that i"m sure that lot of other guys will take benefit from your tips as well.

I wish I'll have your mindset and belive it in all my heart deeply - because i understand what you are saying and it makes lot of sense but I want to truly life according to this mindset - this is my target, to be a better person by achieve target exactly like this!!

great brain storming