hey guys, just looking on some criticism on over my profile. you guys give good advice so it'd be nice to know what's good or what to get rid of. i'm OK at opening people on these places but building attraction and keeping conversation can be a bit hard. any tips on this?


my summary

i'm Ian and i live in York. i am on here to basically make friends in York, that is the primary goal.

btw, is a fiddle a type of violin or is it the way the violin is played?

i moved to york 4 months ago from Scarborough to seek change and the awesomeness of what a city can provide. at the moment it is treating me well and i love exploring!!

i always make time for my friends and hobbies, they are the most important in my life.
to spend an average day inside my head then it would consist of learning German, playing piano, reading interesting books on science and listening to opeth.

i do more stuff but i'll keep that secret for now

What I’m doing with my life

i'm currently working in a kitchen. others call me a chef, i prefer the term microwave technician :p

short term goals are to break away from catering and follow onto something different. possibly teaching assistant or work around music.

long term goals are to go back to college and retake my GSCE's to get better grades and hopefully follow on to do my A levels in physics.

leisurely i am hoping to backpack around Europe in the summer and i am signing up to a race called tough mudder. it is a race designed by the British special forces to test strength, stamina etc. both will be unique experiences, i can't wait!!
I’m really good at
being myself. honestly, if you had to be good at anything this has to be the main priority over anything.
apart from being myself i am secretly an astrophysicist, concert pianist who has a black belt in ju jitsu. obviously this isn't true but how awesome would that be!?!

The first things people usually notice about me

my smile and white teeth

Favorite books, movies, shows, music, and food

food, FOOOOOD, i like all fooood!!!

last book i read was a sci-fi fantasy novel called "Magician" by Raymond E Feist.
before that was a book called "a brief history of nearly everything" by bill bryson.
currently reading a book on quantum mechanics by Brian Cox.

opeth - hilltop hoods - incubus - jazz piano - Chopin - Debussy - the black keys - immortal technique - massive attack - jeff loomis - keith merrows - the who - nirvana - elbow - porcupine tree - king tubby - black sun empire - scoobius pip - most DnB - the prodigy.

The six things I could never do without

my nephew.
music..
piano...
friends....
the universe we live in.....
my crazy outlandish passion for all the above......

I spend a lot of time thinking about

life

On a typical Friday night I am

i am open to alot of things. preferably have drinks with my house mates. it's mostly random what goes on so it could be drinks till 11pm or 5 in the morning. for some reason there is always something crazy that happens in the night.

the most private thing i'm willing to admit

i have really trippy green carpet in my bedroom. i'm not joking you'll feel like you'v'e taken acid when you walk in!!

I’m looking for

Girls who like guys
Ages 18–30
Near me
Who are single
For new friends

You should message me if

you know anything on my fiddle question.
you have similar interests to me.
you are passionate about what ever you are doing in life
if you live in York.

1) Capitalize the I in "I'm". Proper spelling and grammar can say a lot about you.
2) You live in New York...great the side of your profile says that too. Nix that unless you want to specify a neighborhood? Or use it as a DHV opportunity there if you put some creativity in it "I live in the greatest place in the world --NYC! Im in the upper west side so I get a quiet neighborhood but just a couple blocks form blah blah blah. I love -example-"
3) Whats with the fiddle thing? What does that say about you? I don't find it funny, just random.

1) Again grammar.
What?
Don't like this line. I see what you are going for but OBVIOUSLY you do more stuff than you are listing in a 4 paragraph profile. The fact that you specifically say you'll keep it secret makes me think you like to dress up cats in ballet costumes and have dance parties with them or something.
What the fucckkkkk!? Why DLV yourself?! "I am one of the chef's at a great Italian restaurant in town. I have the opportunity to learn from some of the best in the business. Cooking is one of my great passions. It gives me the chance to experiment with new flavor and texture combinations. Different flavors complimenting and supporting each other and opposite flavors providing balance is like a dance. I work hard to make sure every plate I touch comes out looking, tasting, and smelling perfect. It gives me great pleasure to know that my customers enjoy my creations.
snore!
Okay please do me a favor. Lift up your right hand and look at it. Now not TOO hard smack yourself in the face. Then delete this section. Really good at being yourself? Seriously?
Remove the obviously this isn't true part. You are right, it is obvious, you don't need to say it. In fact this might be a good opening line. "I am an astrophysicist, concert pianist who has a black belt in ju jitsu."



Okay I think you have a lot of work to do, but it really is FAR from the worst OKC profile I've seen (some are just wretched...) Remember these rules:

1) Use correct grammar, spelling, and punctuation,
2) Everything in that profile should be either:
a) Funny
b) DHV

If you DHV and make her laugh in your profile, you are done--mission accomplished. Save your life story for when you are in person spread out over several meetings.

_________________
Stock guide - Invest your money!

Who pays for the date?

thanks for the info. i don't live in new York though i live in york in the UK. my punctuation is pretty bad anyway. so that will take time to improve.

basically i hae only had it for 24 hours you see. so it's not going to be perfect. i'm already getting good responses from girls. i just had one ended like this.

lil_steph

"No way...we're in this together its half each... lol. Obviously the straw quantities has always been an underlying issue in your mind.

You make me giggle quite frequently...
But unfortunately I'm going to have to bid you goodnight as I've got to get up in 4 hours for work
But we can continue this tomorrow if you're around....? X"

also just to say about the microwave technician thing. i thought not taking myself so seriously in a job that hasn't got anything to do with real cooking at all would be a DHV. i thought adding that i can cook later on would make me look better? i added this after. "i love to cook, recently i have been exploring the realms of Mexican food. i'm sure that when i drink tequila and eat casadias my accent changes."

i understand your point though. it's to emphasize what you do and how you do it. people love others who speak of passion. my passion lays with physics so maybe i could jazz it up around that area?

also the fiddle question is something i want to ask people instead of looking on google. id'e rather get real peoples answers. i got an answer though from one girl.

"To answer your question.....There isn't a difference between the actual instruments, just in the playing style.
A vioin is usually the term used when referring to classical music, while the fiddle is associated with bluegrass or folk music.... "

I think your comment on your job is good, in fact I think it's more of a DHV than saying that you work in one of the greatest restaurants in the world or whatever. Everyone loves someone who doesn't take themselves too seriously and can have fun, so props there.

It's quesadilla, change that asap.

You say you spend a lot of time thinking about life, that's super vague. Need to elaborate on that. I'd put you're physics thing in there, something like "I'm no Einstein, but I do have a passion for physics. I've always been fascinated by how the world works." The reason why i put that little self neg is because physics is one of those subjects that can come off as super nerdy, but also kind of intimidating to most women. You obviously want to be yourself, but coming from the angle of "i don't know a lot, but i dabble in" is a good way to do that without coming off in an unattractive way. Obviously substantiate on this when you meet a woman in person, since passions are sexy.

Yeah man, thanks for that. I'm going to go for round two and post what i have edited and see if it is any better. I'm not bad sarging online but i get somewhere to experiment in what i can say to girls. Anyways, yesterday i actually got a girls number at work. it was quite a fluent process but i'll talk about this another time.
Anyhow here is my edited version. I feel it is a lot better. Iv'e sorted out punctuation. Deleted most of the vague bits on my profile. I do believe my self summary could have a bit more work done. Also how can i make my "what i will be doing on a Friday night" more exciting?. Obviously when you meet this will count for a lot as making myself sound fun when i go out (which i am) can count for alot.

i guess here iv'e learnt that i find it hard to put things into words.

self summary

I'm Ian and i live in York. I love it here! It is a beautiful city and i am fortunate that i made the decision to come and live here. I enjoy exploring and coming across anything that seems out of the ordinary, you can get a lot of that here!!
I am on here to make friends in York and possibly more if things progress.

I always make time for my friends and hobbies, they are the most important aspects in my life. Learning German, playing piano, reading, music!. (if you know who Opeth are then you have a big tick in my book!!) <<<<< I thought this would be good for validation maybe?

What I’m doing with my life

I'm currently working in a kitchen. Others call me a chef, i prefer the term microwave technician :p i do how ever take pride in what i do within the job itself and can find my job challenging. Not everybody is cut out in what i do.

Leisurely i am hoping to backpack around Europe in the summer. I am signing up to a race called tough mudder. It is a race designed by the British special forces to test strength, stamina etc. both will be unique experiences, i can't wait!!

I’m really good at

I love to cook!!! Recently i have been exploring the realms of Mexican food. I'm sure that when i drink tequila and eat quesadillas my accent changes.

The first things people usually notice about me

My smile. I always get complimented on how white my teeth are.

Favorite books, movies, shows, music, and food

I love food and have a big appetite. I believe it is important to try at least everything once. After all, we live in a world made to explore so why shouldn't we?

The Last book i read was a sci-fi fantasy novel called "Magician" by Raymond E Feist.
Before that was a book called "A brief history of nearly everything" by Bill Bryson.
currently reading a book on quantum mechanics by Brian Cox. I know hardly anything on this subject and am excited to learn about it!!

Opeth - Hilltop hoods - Incubus - Jazz Piano - Chopin - Debussy - The Black Keys - Immortal Technique - Massive Attack - Jeff Loomis - Keith Merrows - The Who - Nirvana - Elbow - Porcupine Tree - King Tubby - Black Sun Empire - Scoobius Pip - The Prodigy.
My three favourite genres are metal, drum and bass and hip hop.

TV and film. breaking bad - Dexter - The Shield - Taken - Waking Life - i'll try pretty much any comedy stand up.

The six things I could never do without

My nephew.
Music..
Piano...
Friends....
The universe we live in.....
My crazy outlandish passion for all the above......

i spend d a lot of time thinking about

I'm no Einstein or Aristotle, but I do have a passion for physics. I've always been fascinated by how the world works and the way life is.

On a typical Friday night I am

I am open to a lot of things. Preferably have drinks with my house mates. It's mostly random what goes on so it could be drinks till 11pm or 5 in the morning. For some reason there is always something crazy that happens in the night.

I’m looking for

Girls who like guys
Ages 18–30
Near me
Who are single
For new friends, long-term dating, short-term dating

You should message me if

You have similar interests to me.
You are passionate about what ever you are doing in life

P.S i work full time so messaging back can take time.