Ok, the heads up: I've been dating some girls for a while now and i noticed a pattern.

The first dates I use for basic comfort building and a bit of trust (slightly physical sometimes). Mostly you will find me in a Sishabar with the girl. There is live music, dimmed lights and a nice lounge.

The second dates I mostly go to a cocktail-bar or a snooker/pool bar. (notice the venue's are mostly opened in the evening, somehow I love the vibe more). And it's around this time that I get myself more comfortable and sexual. I realize I am in line with my intentions and it feels like I can vibrate this to the girls. This leads to the kiss close and great intense eye contact.

The third dates I notice are the most boring ones. Around these dates it seems I am the most in my head. And these "third dates" have lead me now to two flakes.
- One was a cinema date where we just watched the movie (Skyfall, amazing movie) and didn't do shit. No attraction
- The other was a simple coffee in the city. No attraction

Today I had another third date:
* We had an amazing second date and I could really tell she was into me: she really invested and after she kept contacting me via SMS, facebook and the occasional sending of music that she likes. So in conclusion the date was intense, physical and just no thinking. only -> Flow.
So today comes the third date: a lunch. We had a great time talking. But again in my perspective no attraction. This resulted in me trying to kiss her in the end. But this feeble kiss didn't came even close to the one we had the second date. And then I pull out one of my dumbest moves in history: I kiss her again haha wtf, that one didnt even lasted one second.
So I told her: "that was too much", she replied I was not to worry about it. I entered my car and drove off.
I realize with this girl I can make a comeback, and that's what plan to do.

Now:
- Can I expect attraction as something that you have to re-awake per date
- Am I somehow too needy/vulnerable around the third dates and how can I go back to the playful, attractive guy from the earlier dates
- I am doing meditation 20 minutes a day, for one month now
- I think I need to be more silent, not to over-think and enjoy the moment more and not be so outcome depended

What are your thoughts?

You need to be reading her and calibrating throughout the interaction. You aslo need to put forethought into the date and try to predict how it's going to go down and how you are going to escalate. Most of my dates will always end with me trying to get the girl to go on a walk so that I can try to set the romantic mood, isolate her away from public view, and kiss/makeout. For me, third dates are usually the most exciting, not the most boring, because I know that if she was interested three times then she probably is down to fuck soon. But you seem to have a negative viewpoint of this, which probably then shows through in your mannerisms and behavior.

You also say "no attraction", and I wonder what you mean by that. It means that you are either not even attempting to escalate or do kino, or you failed to establish enough rapport on your previous dates. Because on the second date I am doing my best to let her know that I'm liking her and I'm attracted to her. I then build excitement for the third date. As soon as I see her I hug her and laugh and act pleased to be with her again. Maybe hold her hand and escort her wherever. I'm certainly not going to act all awkward like this is our first date again.

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“Nothing is impossible, the word itself says 'I'm possible'!” ~Audrey Hepburn

'You need to be reading her and calibrating throughout the interaction. You aslo need to put forethought into the date and try to predict how it's going to go down and how you are going to escalate. Most of my dates will always end with me trying to get the girl to go on a walk so that I can try to set the romantic mood, isolate her away from public view, and kiss/makeout.'

Good advice man, most of the time I ended up kissing at the car or in the car (this can be intense but also easier for her to pull back or maybe finding the situation boring and idd not romantic). Brilliant man.

'third dates are usually the most exciting, not the most boring, because I know that if she was interested three times then she probably is down to fuck soon. But you seem to have a negative viewpoint of this, which probably then shows through in your mannerisms and behavior.'

This is true and I need to flip the script on this. I am having third dates now only the last two months. Honestly I am quiet new to the whole dating thing. This for me a better way to connect to a girl. I have had my share of only one good and a lot of bad experiences from a one night stand.

Hugging and holding hands are also nice things thanks man. I need to find the romantic me and do something with it. I am planning the fourth date for this week and she asked me earlier to come and see a movie at hers (unfortunately I planned something else). Thanks for the advice Ninja