Hey guys,

I need some advice. I've been with my gf for almost 2 years and I have a great relationship. I have a long distance relationship with her but we see each other usually twice a month. We have great communication, trust and really make our relationship work great.

Here is my dilemma:

She recently went with a few friends on a ski trip and stayed at a Cabin for 3 nights. It was 6 girls including her and three dudes (lucky bastards). So anyways besides her and another girl, the rest were all single. I trust my gf but my issue or maybe perceived issue is that some stuff went down that I am not sure was appropriate and I don’t know if I should worry, jealous about or just take it for what it is. She was drinking hanging out in the hot tub with one of the girls and the three guys and one of the guys was taking pictures of her with his phone, I guess she told him she didn't want pictures of herself taken so the other guy picked her up out of the spa so his friend can take the picture. I guess the next day she told them that she wasn’t cool with people taking pictures of her because it might set the wrong impression with me or maybe other people. She also told me after we got in a small argument about the incidents that she and the guy that picked her up out of the spa had a sexually charged conversation while they were sitting on the lift. He apparently told her about his swinger experience he had with some couple. This tactic is old as dirt, get the girl to think about sexual themes and get her comfortable in seeing him and sex as one thing. She admitted she shouldn’t have discussed that with him and that it was inappropriate.

Other incident that happened that really irritated me was that her friend posted a picture on FB of my gf and her and two dudes in the picture titled "This is what we do at the cabin when we run out of food" it has this one guy that I know sort of grabbing her and has her hair in his mouth pretending to eat her while she has her arms around him. She was smiling in the picture and for some reason that really irritated me. Ever since that weekend I just have this weird feeling about us, and feel like despite her claiming innocence and saying nothing happened at the cabin something really weird’s me out about the whole situation.

I am going up to see her this up coming weekend and her girl friend is hosting a Superbowl Party and two of the guys will be there as well. What would you guys do in this situation? Play it cool, act as if nothing is bothering me? Confront the guys and ask them what happened? Or just go there and try to read the situation and figure out if anything happened.

By the way for all you singletons out there, while I was single I would never get jealous of a girl. The longer you are in a relationship the more changes you go through. While many pick up artists say game never ends, and sometimes that idea seems farfetched, it truly never does, only modified.


Thanks!

First off you should know LDRs never really work out.I just got out of mine and it was similar to yours in many ways...
You're not thinking straight.You can't possibly be mad at her for smiling in a picture. I know and understand where that feeling comes from,but think about it. In the same situation you more than likely would've done the same. She was just enjoying herself.


So you say but then you say
so how did you not think about simply talking to her about it ?

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R.C thanks for responding. Yeah I trust her but girls tend to see things from a different perspective than guys. Guys are opportunist and will try to conquer anything most of the time. Girls tend to be in the moment more and sometimes let their guard down. It makes it difficult for me because I know two of thos guys and I know that they are weasels. I also trust her but I am just concerned she was not seeing them for who they are, like me.

If you're posting this are you sure you trust her 100%?

But yeah, you've been in a relationship with her for 2 years, open and honest communication is probably a good idea.

I know it's easy to get trapped in the cycle of thinking the worst and getting yourself all worked up. What's the point? Either you trust her, or you don't. The advice to talk to her about that is sound. Politely tell her that you feel odd about it, and don't totally trust that nothing happened. Tell her you're not accusing her of anything, but that you have these feelings and aren't sure where they are coming from, and that you want her to help make them go away. A girl who responds to this type of positive interaction about a negative subject in a good way is a keeper. One who gets defensive and angry or whatnot is not a keeper, regardless of if she cheated or not. Your girl, from what you have said, sounds like a keeper.

I definitely would not confront the guys about it at all. Just keep your frame and remember what your rules are. If you wouldn't be with her if she cheated on you, then it's easy, you don't worry about it and if you find out she did somehow, her ass is gone.

Yeah man I think you make a great point. I guess maybe a little bit of my mistrust comes from my past marriage with my X that cheated on me. In a way I would rather know what happened and deal with it rather than her doing something minor and trying to hide it from me. It's so difficult to deal with this scenario because they guy in question is a complete douche bag and I have interacted with him on couple occasions and he has shown very little respect for me. She knows how much I don't like him and despite me being ok with her going out on these trips with all her single friends to include him, she should have made a better effort in not getting in this scene and taking a picture that shows her and the dude that close in a very peculiar shot.

To top it off, she said I am bummed that you guys aren't friends. Really?!

I guess my expectation of her knowing that I despise this guy to not interact with him in this close environment like hugging him while he is munching her hair. Is that unreasonable of me?

Last thing she did that kind of dissapointed me, was he invited bunch of people to his house for the Superbowl party to include her via Facebook and she then invited me. So now she puts me in the awkward situation where I don't want to go to his house and she accepted his invitation without asking me if I wanted to go.

Bottom-line we got in a fight tonight over this and she pretty much dismissed it saying I m being irrational. I am not sure if we are going to stay in a relationship after today. I figure if she overlooks this as no big deal, then she doesn't really care about me or how I feel about this whole situation.

In some ways I feel like a bitch, but frankly I don't want to be with someone that dismisses me like this.