Already posted this thread in the general forum - sorry about that, I just wanna get some information asap!

It's the first time in months that i've been shaken by thoughts and that i'm really starting to feel some strange things going on, i'd really like to get advice on wether these symptons might show her cheating, how to handle it in case she did etc... Here's the situation, i'll explain it as deep as possible.

So, thursday night, my girlfriend went to this party she hosted with her school, this week everything was fine between us, around 1pm i got a text with her saying, from my heart to your, i love you. So why is this relevant? because everything was perfect.

Untill she came down to my on the day after.

First things first... She doesn't text me (she always does) that she's coming over to my place.

1) I open the door, she's all nervous and energetic, no kiss, no hug, she joins me in the kitchen and sits on the tabel. (Gave me a feeling that she was cracking her head in the car on how to act around me, nervous to face me, feeling guilty...)
1a) She normally comes in slowly, saying hi with a smile, looking at me for a while, a basic hug, just very chill and warm. This time it was totally different.

2) I bring up the fact i was surprised of her being there already while she usually texts, she tells me that her phone is broken and that she threw it on the ground at the party, that she cried on the toilet all night. I ask her what happend and she brings up this conversation ''that a girl was there where she had a fight with over an ex a few months ago''. It's rather strange, the same story, happend a few months ago, what could've happend that she went uber-crying mode on the toilet? (All i could think about was her feel or remorse, regret of what she did, realising it etc...)

3) eventually we go upstairs, she is viewing her camera for the pictures of last night, she doesn't show me anything, doesn't get me involved etc... at one point, i enter the room and wanted to lie down in bed and had to pass her, instantly she puts her foot on the bed so i couldn't be in range to check her camera out.

4) She mentions a party on friday of her friend, and randomly says - Do you mind if you dont come along to this party?'' when i ask her for the reason she goes.. Well it's because of people thinking... and not finishing the story, or be very indirect with it, not giving a clear answer or anything near. (She went to the thursday party with a whole group of friends, at the party on friday, this group will be going aswell, if she cheated on me, the guy will be there and she might be afraid of me finding out)

5) She texts, but holds her phone up in a position where i cant possibly be checking her out (Which i never do) and she never does this.

6) Strange fact - she gets a message from her friend and reads it out loud, ''I have to tell you something about thursday night, you're not gonna be happy'' - the day i ask her what that was about she says ''Just her blabbering, nothing important) - She usually tells me everything that happend during her day.

All in all, I really think these signs indicate that she cheated on me, i eventually realised these strange patterns and started questioning them myself, I wasn't sure if she was cheating because she's also the type of girl with low self-esteem and would do something like this to return some sort of vengeance for me having more power (I go out, so does she, ...) but because the week went very great and there was no reason for her to want power, i found it strange that she began with being nervous, not telling shit, the camera etc... while our connection was very good and she had no reason being nervous around me.

What are your thoughts?
I will confront her about this, how will i eventually get the truth out of her if she did so?
how can i justify this if she didn't cheat on me? I dont wanna make her feel like i dont trust her.

I'd like as much information as possible, i'm meeting her tommorow so i want to be prepared and get the truth out of her with as little damage done as possible if the outcome is not as i anticipated.

Thanks alot!

I don't know if she is cheating but its very obvious shes hiding something from you thats evident by the fact of the list you made
1. Shes trying to put some distance in between you (possibly breaking up or she knows that you will react bad whenever she tells you what happend?)
2.She won't tell you the whole story on why she was crying on the toliet and why she was so upset about something that she broke her phone over it
3. Hiding pictures that she obv didn't want you to see
4. Doesn't want you at a party? Yea she doesnt want you to know something or shes expecting to see another guy there
5. Still hiding things from you
6.Still hiding something from you
I'm going to be honest I def think she cheated on you, If I was you when you see her tomorrow be direct and ask her what happend because its really obvious shes hiding stuff from you

Sorry, complete bull shit. Let's be real here. We have NO CLUE what is really going on. Do you really want us to guess at whether or not we think your GF is cheating when you don't even know? No. I'm sorry, but we can't give you that advice. You have to accept the fact that you don't know everything about her and her life. No matter what, there will always be things your girl might be uncomfortable with talking to you about. Maybe she'll tell you in time. I had an issue with the girl I was with, where something very serious happened to a close friend of hers. Things seemed odd at first because she wouldn't discuss anything. Later I found out what happened.

Point is, you don't know what happened. You need to trust her, and give her the space she needs and hope she confides in you. She didn't cheat on you. If she did, it will come out eventually. But she didn't cheat on you. You can't question this. You must know she didn't. Questioning is the first step to bad trust. Nothing you said gives any indication of anything other than she's going through something that she needs to go through alone for the moment. You have no idea what that is.

If anything, this stuff makes it very obvious there was no cheating going on. Like hiding her camera? Seriously do you think she'd be looking at pictures indicating her cheating while she was on your bed? The pictures would've been gone. Texts? They would've been deleted. All of this is just stupid paranoia. Yes, she's going through something. But you don't know what. Just give it time and be there for her.

Haha the above poster is setting you up for staying with a cheater. She cheating/and or is still cheating. I don't know, and you don't know but all signs point to cheating. A girl hiding something is one thing, but as you put the story there is no other explanation. Crying on the toilet, hiding her phone and its pictures. "Well it's because of people thinking..." There are a ton of clues that its definitely cheating. Unless she had a miscarriage at the party, she hooked up with someone, got upset, broke the phone, and looked at the pics on the phone she was hiding.

Who cares what she is guilty of? The only thing that matters here is that you've seen a change in her behavior, and you're not turned on by it, right? So my suggestion is that you tell her that she's been acting different around you, and that you're not into it. Give her the chance to open up to you and involve you. If she chooses not to, then you know how much she values you and the relationship. If this is a committed relationship and she's not leaning on you for support, then clearly you're not what you want to be. Unless of course you're fine with just having the relationship be more casual and less committed. But you don't know any of this without talking to her about it first.

Good replies so far, i can understand all these different point of views, i'll add some additional information that might clear things out or show why it's so hard finding out etc...

She's a very fragile person, she's inconsistent and unreliable, you never know what's going on as she never opens up, the friday she came over where she acted all wierd, i just went for it a couple hours later and asked ''Are you still happy? I can feel a change of hearts.'' She just dove under my blanket and couldn't look at me, possibly cried a bit, got no answer from her. Next day when she went home I said ''Had a nice time but i wanna talk about the conversation we had again''. No responds, saw her on facebook and said ''You dont have to be scared about facing me right now, there's just a few things on my mind that i'm unsure off''.

She mentioned that ofcourse she was scared for receiving such a message etc... Gave her alot of information about things that changed, the way i feel things are going and she opened up by basically saying ''I love you and i'm 100% sure about the relationship, things just moved fast and everything got quite serious and I dont know how to handle it''. So she confirms that she's still very happy about the relationship, she said a few very strong words. I never mentioned about me thinking about her cheating, i didn't think of that till later.

Besides that, it always feels like she opens up, tells her true feelings and that everything changes back to nothing. During that conversation, i stated that she usually never goes out and always wants to be with me and that recently she thinks about nothing else but going out. She replies saying ''I miss going out, i realized that on thursday, but i'd still put you on the first place''. This was relevant because i told her from the start that i WANTED her to go out and have some fun, she chose not to and suddenly i hardly see her.

That being said, a few days after the conversation I get back to her asking if she's still joining me on saturday for dinner, we had an arrangment 2 weeks ago of me asking her out to come for dinner, she said ''Ofcourse i want to come!''. Then when i asked her again she goes ''I cant come, i have plans to go out'' whilst also going out on friday, so i wont see her for 2 weeks probably.

These are things that annoy the living fuck outta me, ''First place is you, then going out'' , we have plans to go for dinner and she cancels it and goes partying? The fuck is this shit again?

Point of all is, i cant rely on her answers or the way she acts or says things, one minute she can go all sentimental, next thing she'll bail on you, sent you short texts, or tries to make you feel bad. She just cant be direct and shit.

I'm very unsure if she'd ever tell me about the fact she might've cheated on me, if she cant open up about small things then hell no will she ever face her thoughts about the cheating, that's what makes it so hard for me. She would never ever throw in a ''I cheated on you'' ever. Yet all the things that happend that day just kinda indicated to me what happend. I dunno, it's a very tough call.


1) She was nervous, very obvious something was on her mind, couldn't be me or coming over to me.
2) The story about the phone, it's just not her and she was very shady about it
3) She was drunk that night, maybe checking her camera out if she had pictures taken of her cheating? She had a couple of people kissing. People had acces to her camera as she had alot of pictures taken of her.
4) Her not wanting me to join to the party and giving another shady story, it just adds up the symptoms.
5) She got texted, maybe what happend that night, if she told me etc...
6) The girl texting was the friend she went with, if she cheated, she'd know for sure, she always tells me what's been texted, especially if it's her friends.

Don't listen to what she says! Listen to what she does...

Nuff said

exactly

I think it's time for an adult conversation don't you think so? You are making stories in your mind because you only have incomplete information. Make dinner, invite her over and talk.

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The people who are crazy enough to think they can change the world, are the ones who do.

To those who are interested, everything got cleared up and i've learnt a shit-ton.
First of all, i am glad i didn't ask her personally and waited out for the perfect moment to ask a few questions regarding these strange sympthons she's been showing.

The conclussion is, nothing happend.

Got to hers, was furious by my own thoughts, i decided to just ask her straight away and felt like dropping the bomb at any given time. I open the door, she jumps me and hugs me blablabla and i chill down a bit. I enter the room, have a nice talk with her, her mom, etc etc...
Eventually we go upstairs and she kept giving me a lot of validation, she was happy, kept hugging me etc... Then at one point she mentions her party on friday again so i just go like, ''How come you didn't want me to join you?'' - She replies that she does want me to come but she finds it annoying that she has to leave early in the morning to see her dad (which was confirmed multiple times by her mom/sister) and that she's leaving early and felt like she needed to come home fast since i'll be there. We discussed it furthur and i'm eventually going with her, she's looking forward to it big time aswell.
Besides all that, the connection between the 2 of us was very great, we laughed alot, we had alot of fun, all in all an amazing evening, that's when she started opening up, talking about feelings etc and she showed me exactly how sensitive she is, she went on facebook and put it on my lap so i could see her conversations (didn't ask for it) she also got some texts and showed all of them to me aswell, there was nothing wrong with them or anything alarming and she even told me about this guy that messages her constantly, showed me some of hes messages and it's some beta stuff like ''Pfff, tests are so boring, what you up too?!''. I alpha'd the shit out of it and made her laugh alot, told her to enjoy the attention and it really didn't bother me, it showed me that she had nothing to hide.

What i found most funny was that she had to fill in some sort of quiz on the internet of ''what do you want to become'', it resolved around her personality, she was honest about it and it showed me that she's quite jealous and everything that made sense on her way of behaving towards me sometimes.

About her crying that night, she wasn't lying about the story, she gave me the story but filled the gaps with logical things, basically, she was talking to her friend about the thing going on between them, ex-boyfriend stuff and she says she's really feeling bad for her that she kinda ''screwed her best friend over'', that the conversation keeps coming up and that she feels things have changed between them eversince. Her story was told multiple times (to her sister etc...) and it was the same story at all times.

Bottom-line is:

the reason she did these things that sounded strange, was exactly what made me think she was doing. all was pure to make me jealous or wonder and give her validation. She mentions in very subtle ways that she's afraid to lose me, saying things like ''Oohh, you're probably gonna meet a girl on saturday anyway''. I find it quite funny and i answer them perfectly, making her smile and feel at ease.

for many this kind of behaviour is annoying or leads to frustration, but now that i got hold of it and understand it, i'm pretty sure it wont bother me. Giving her the validation is good, she invests the same in me aswell giving me validation so it's not one-sided for her ego or w/e.

Glad to hear things got cleared up. I must say, though, everything you wrote in your first post down to the description of the kind of person she is points to cheating.

Nevertheless, I'm sure you are relieved.

_________________
"I cheated on my fear,broke up with doubt and now,I'm marrying my dreams!"

http://www.quitporngetgirls.com

I agree with the above poster, things still don't add up and I still think she cheated on you. Not trying to be negative or pessimistic.

1. The way you stated that she said you couldn't come to the party because "then people will think..." has nothing to do with leaving early and I have no idea how that sentence would have led to that. I could see it leading to "then people will think I'm a slut..." but not "people will think I have to wake up early."???

2. I can see where she may have been stressed out about stuff with her friend and now it's over/resolved so she;s all lovey dovey. But showing you messages from guys all of a sudden, is basically a sign of something. What does her friend have to do with her showing you text messages and facebook? That screams of "I'm sooo faithful to you...here's proof." You didnt mention it before so why would she feel the need to?

Just read the bottom line, seems kinda strange but could explain point 2 above. But if she's afraid of losing/thinking that you may find someone else, sounds like that would even make her cheat or find a backup.

The confirmation of her story too could just be convenient. Good liars will often never lie 100% but base a lie from the truth. For example, if I have a friend who is in the hospital and I tell my girl I'm going to see him but I'm really gonna cheat, I can later back up my story by having other friends confirm that my friend is in the hospital.

Again, just being cautious. If her story is true, she has to be near psychotic/sociopath to orchestrate all those subtle little things to make you jealous, WHILE she has something going on with her friend. I'm assuming you guys are younger so be careful.

PS. Ex bf stuff? How did she screw her friend over?

I would still be a bit suspicious tbh... The whole "hey look at my completely innocent messages" out of nowhere would bug me and the sudden clear explanation for everything.

But then I have a deep seated mistrust of women recently

I honestly think half of her stories are still strange and more might've happend, i'm unsure of that and i do realise i have to be cautious, she is a true succubus, one minute you're her world, the other moment she does strange things. There was another situation that popped where i need some help with, i find this one really annoying aswell.

Lately she gets alot of texts from a guy, she talks to me about it, laughs at it and tells me strange things coming from him. The guy sents her hearts, that they should go out etc... She does get me involved but it does annoy the living fuck outta me that she does still send him back.
Today she went to her dads and i slept over at hers, i was gonna go check on facebook and get some thing up for tonight and the page opened her facebook, It's very bad of me but i couldn't resist but check the conversation out between her and that guy and boy, i dunno if i should be pissed, or that i'm just overthinking it again.
Basically, they are very playful, and the guy cant keep hes mouth shut about how gorgeous she is, that he wants to kiss her and so on... He's really persistent and it's hardly small-talk. She talks to him with big messages and it's kinda alarming (i think?)
One thing that really stood out was that she is basically playing the game along and even craving for his attention, she did mention that he's 15 and she's 18 and that he's just some random guy but the way she does talk to him makes me wonder.

Example:

She mentions that she fell on the stairs and that she got hurt
The boy replies with ouch that must've hurt, i'll pat it next time!
Her) ''You can give it a little kiss, that'll help''
Him) You'll have to kiss me on the back aswell then! I'll lay down and you'll have to turn me around but it's probably not gonna work for you anyway!
Her) Meh, that shoudn't be too hard!

Him) we should go study together sometimes, i think it'll be fun!
Her) Yeh definatly, sounds like fun!

The guy came up to her a few days ago telling how he made out with her friend etc...
She responded really short and i know she was jealous cause that's how she always does it.

I really dont understand all this shit tbh. I find it very annoying and have a hard time dealing with it, I cant go up to her and say what's going on between the 2 of you, i checked your facebook, lol.

I dont really care how you do it man, but if you dont dump this fake ass hoe you are gonna be hurtin' real bad when the truth comes out. That FB convo solidifies she cheated on you or in the very least, definitely will eventually. GET OUT OF THERE!!

I'll drive to wherever you live and dump that bitch for you if I have to. I am expecting an update post by Monday night saying "I told that slut to hit the fucking pavement and I feel great"