| Here's the situation.
I've been in a relationship with a girl for 10 months. For the most part, things have gone fine with her.
The last month, however, has been a big rollercoaster.
After New Year's Eve, she is a bit aloof and tells me that she still thinks about her ex and doesn't think its fair to me. I don't say much about this. Then, a few days later, everything is fine and we have a great time.
I go over to her house a week later to help her with a homework assignment. As I am typing something for her on the computer, I look for a computer file with a previous assignment (need info from it for the current assignment). She is upstairs with her kid during this time. I accidentally open up the wrong file- this turns out to be her journal entry for December. In this journal entry, she says that she is thinking about breaking up with me in a few months. Also, she reveals that she is talking to some guy she met online.
I confront her about this and explain that it was an accident. She doesn't get too mad- after all the file wasn't marked as a journal entry. She explains that the guy she has been talking to is an online friend who lives in Illinois. She also points out that I have some female friends. As for the breaking up, she explains that the journal entry is just a way for her to work out problems. Then, she shows me a message she sent to the online guy telling him that she doesn't want to talk to him anymore because she wants to be with me. Finally, she shows me a journal entry in her handwritten journal (she has two) and this shows (in its last entry) that she wants to be with me and really committ to our relationship. I accept her explanation and we have a great makeout session.
Since then, she just seems to be giving a lot of mixed signals back and forth. She is either hot or cold. Two nights ago, I am at her house and she is totally distant. She is having a fight with her kid about something. So, I think that something is going on with her kid. I really should have just politely left. However, I go upstairs to hang out. She is rather hostile and says "Are you just going to stare at me?" I point out that she had an argument with the kid and maybe she is just stressed. Then, she goes ballistic, accuses me of being clingy, acting weird, etc. I just decided to leave at that point. She calls me a couple of hours later (really late at night, which is unusual for her) and tells me that she has been going through a rough time and that it has nothing to do with me.
The next day I have mixed feelings. Part of me is angry with her for using me as an emotional punching bag. Another part is just wondering what is going on. So, I write her a lengthy facebook message expressing what I felt was going on with all the mixed signals and such. I didn't beg or grovel for her but just put things honestly. At the end, I told her that we could either just get out of each other's lives or take a break.
She responds with anger by calling me and expressing outrage that I wrote this on a facebook message. For some reason, she thinks that facebook email is less secure than regular email. We get into a big of an argument over this and the conversation ends. Later, I text her that we need a break from each other. She texts back and agrees. I apologize for sending it on facebook. She apologizes for being aloof and standoffish.
So far, I haven't texted or called her. This weekend, I agreed to play some music for an event she is involved with. My plan is to play the gig and leave. I want to just ignore her for about a week or two. The ball is in her court.
Maybe later, I will just send a few friendly texts and see how that goes. If she is favorable, I might up the game and send some suggestive texts. Really, I am on the fence about this girl. On the one hand, the first 9 months were great. On the other hand, I just can't stand behavior like this.
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CHAT