| Hi,
3 months ago I decided to make a commitment to getting my sex life and sexual confidence handled. I decided pretty quickly that I was more attracted to the 'natural' styles. I also learned that 'Inner Game' was going to become the main focus of this journey for me.
I have watched a lot of infield videos and I think these are great; they give you a real sense of how a fun, playful, flirty conversation with a woman should go; they also inspire you because they make it look fun and achievable. I have inundated my mind with confidence products: I listen to pickup/confidence audios on a playlist every night from bedtime until morning. I have read and watched a lot of other material as well and have learned a lot of practical stuff, especially in the area of body language.
In my life I have set goals for myself - weekly, monthly and yearly goals - and I consistently work on them:
Some short term goals have included:
- Add more exercise sessions to your week
- Go shopping for clothes
- Smile more
- Hold better eye contact
- Practice good body language
- Socialize more with friends
- Be friendly with shop staff and strangers
- Go out during the day more (and look for opportunities to open)
Some Inner Game regimens I have done include:
- Write 3 pages a day on my Inner Game ( I did this for a few weeks)
- Write out long term goals (the man you want to become) á la Hypnotica's goals exercise and read it before bed and upon waking (I do this inconsistently but often enough)
- Extensive journaling on every aspect of my life and my self and what I want to improve in both
- Write out all my attractive qualities (a really nice exercise for boosting confidence)
and more I can't think of...
My long-term goal is written more as a detailed description of the person I want to be in a year's time, written in the present tense. "I am a completely myself, completely confident and the best version of myself I can be. Meeting women is easy and sex is a natural and abundant part of my life. etc." (paraphrase)
I have noticed a real difference in my life, and my level of happiness, energy and confidence. I carry myself a lot better and walk taller. It's powerful how changing your body language influences the way you feel.
There is still a wall, when it comes to approaching, that I haven't broken through. I have gone out with the intention of 'being more friendly to everyone' and hitting on/talking to shop staff or 'hired guns', and I've had some decent interactions doing this. Otherwise I have not 'become an approacher' and i'm aware of this. I did intend to make this transformation into 'a guy who approaches women', a rare breed where I come from, and I gave myself a reading period of 2 months, but then my circumstances changed: I got accepted into college.
I had been gearing myself up to become a regular daygamer, and get over the hump of approach anxiety, but then the goalposts moved. I was now gonna be in college, surrounded by hot girls and cold approach was less of a priority. I watched Braddock's College Game and Social Circle game, and I've been to college before so I have a good idea of what it's about. But it's certainly not about going up and macking on chicks that you're going to see every day for a few years; it's social circle game. That said I want to get over my AA at some point and may attempt to practise it on the side (though I will be immersed in college life i.e. building a social network).
Apart from approaching I have made an attempt to socialize more with my friends, and to give more value and practise flirting, teasing, sexualized banter etc. while out. This has led to a few raucous episodes of flirting (with girls introduced to me through a friend) that were a lot of fun. I would not have had the confidence to do this before, or just wouldn't have thought of it. And the girls had a lot of fun; 2 that I met literally screamed with excitement when I bumped into them again a few weeks later. I think in general I have learned to 'give a lot more emotional value' in conversation when out at night, and this comes from studying attraction methods.
My next major step is to become active in college. For this I have joined a select group of clubs and societies: the ones with the most girls in them (or ones that improve my confidence or are a DHV).
My next Inner Game hurdle is to tackle some negative old beliefs about myself and my entitlements in life, and to construct some shiny new ones.
Overall I think the pursuit of 'game' has improved me a lot so far, and has allowed me to see much more of an attractive and confident side of myself.
See my story is of someone with a lot going for them in terms of game. In primary school I was voted the best looking guy in my class by the girls, and most popular by the guys. I'm above average looking in the face area, average height, quite skinny in the body though, but fit from playing sports. I'm academically smart, I have a good sense of humour, I am known for being quick witted and good with words. I have played music since I was seven and have been a lead singer in bands, and am a proficient guitarist. I have a lot of friends and have good social skills. In some contexts I am extremely confident - for examply in music, on stage etc.
I have a lot going for me but some bad things happened along the way that really knocked my confidence in an overwhelming way and in particular my confidence with girls; thus I never got the kind of results that I wish for. I feel like I am over that bad stuff now, and want to go forward and achieve my goal, become the sexually confident man I want to be, but I feel that I will have to tackle some of those old issues along the way, and put them away for good.
Well, thanks very much for reading (It is quite long)
Please, please give me any feedback you have: What more I could do? What I could do differently - Ideas for what to do next - What worked for you (in terms of inner game/personal development.
Thanks very much,
Birdo
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CHAT