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RC thanks for your post. Saw her in town last night when she said that she was having a dinner with family all night and didnt have time to hang out. Asked her about it this morning and found out she was working then giving her friends a lift after dinner had finished.
One issue that's constantly rising up is that she puts her friends ahead of me. She did it again tonight. Not sure how to deal with it, barely seen her for the past couple of weeks. It's like she doesnt want to hangout any more. Today I lost my cool with her and told her that if she was going to cancel on our plans again then I was out. It didnt go down well.
She then said "Ill hangout then" and got all moody about it.
Not sure what to do about this, my work requires me to think critically a lot and make tough decisions. Since I started having plans changed on me, less time with her than we usually would and this shady stuff it's throwing me off.
My question now: is it me or is it her?
Am I the one pushing the relationship on to her to much and pushing her away or is she just not that into us and doesn't mind either way anymore.
I have been needy with her in the past and right now I know I am being needy with her, just not sure of what else I can do. I can act cool about it but nothing will change, shes going to continue to be conveniently busy when I want to hangout and chances are that shes going to then.
She says she weighs up all her options and tries to fit everyone in the best she can but it feels like I am being put at the bottom of the list and our calendars are constantly crashing because i'm busy and she knows that. I am only free at certain times during the week and she keeps making plans on those days when she knows the intention was for us to hangout on that day/night. I try to be cool about it, stay busy but eventually it always explodes in my face and I am coming off far worse off in this relationship.
We are great when we are together but the communication is not there and we are just out of sync. Anyone been in this situation before? Is it one of those things, I just need to let go of her or unplug myself from the relationship like she seems to do and be indifferent if we don't see each other the entire week?
Completely lost right now
Bro, communication is extremely important. If it's not there a relationship simply doesn't work. On top of that she does not put you as a priority. It's one thing to be busy, and I'm not saying you guys should be each other's first priorities, it's not like she's your wife but when you decide to commit to someone you make them somewhat a priority.
She flakes on you constantly and not to be a dick, but you let her. I don't personally know your guys' schedules and I'm sure they are in fact super busy but frankly if she wanted to make time she would. She's flaking on you. That isn't cool and it seems that it's in the best interest of yourself to drop the girl. It's one thing about be cool about it when it happens rarely and be like "No worries babe, go out with your friends and have a good time." but if this girl is seriously dogging you on a frequent basis then she's not girlfriend material. Drop that girl, show her your worth something (because you are), and go out have some fun and stop stressing over this. You don't need it man, don't let yourself be walked on. Be cool, collective, and realize that you deserve something better then a girl treating you like a coat that she can put on whenever she wants to wear you.
CHAT