So I met this HB 8.5 in one of my classes. We hit it off pretty smoothly (and was feeling super confident) and managed to get her number 2nd time we hung out. So anyways, after hanging out with her for around 3 hours just talking, she manages to bring up the dreaded ex boyfriend talk (she was with him for like 7 fkn years) and I tried not too steer too much into that direction. I got the feeling she was an emotional wreck but managed to keep it cool.

So heres the problem: I can tell she gives me a shitload of IOIs (staring at me in class, blushing etc) but Im still freaked out she tried to friendzone me straight away. I texted her to hang out later on outside uni and she tells me that 'she wouldnt feel comfortable because she doesnt know me enough yet'. Something to do with a safety issue, hahaha.

We were texting last night and for some reason I decided to tell her one of my friends sisters had just passed away and to be honest I was a bit of a wreck myself that night. She told me not to worry and that shes there for me and giving me advice and stuff. I told her to change the topic and we laughed about some other shit and left the convo on a high and forgot about the previous stuff (Lets just say it was a push pull fractionation that went awkward )

So sorry for rambling on here fellas, but question is: can this all still be salvaged? Or has she already decided that im gonna be her friend? We have a date planned for next week (albeit in uni :/) but I figured its better than nothing. Advice? And thanks for your time

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Good things come to those who wait. Greater things come to those who get off their ass and do anything to make it happen

As a side note I should also add that Ive played the push pull game with her before (showed her plenty of interest and suddenly just ignored her completely) and she asked me if I was upset with her and stuff. Also there was a time in class where she gave a presentation about romantic poetry or some shit and she told everybody about her past trouble with the ex boyfriend (which she had told me at first not many people knew :/) So i decided to 'punish' her and not talk to her at all for a whole week and she kept trying to catch my eye in class and text me and I would be flat with her.

So those are my troubles: I dont know if she wants to just be friends or not, and have I screwed things up by getting to emotional with her about telling her about the death of my friends sister.

Sorry for double posting but thought I should clear that up and make it a little easier for you guys to fully understand the situation Im in. Thanks again!

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Good things come to those who wait. Greater things come to those who get off their ass and do anything to make it happen

You see that telling her about your friend's death was a flaw, but I actually see that as a benefit. I've even recommended people do that exact same thing in other threads. Especially when it's YOU getting emotional with her instead of her dumping her emotions on you. That way you can establish a deeper emtional connection with her and you are the one who controlling how far it goes.

Here's what I would do. I mean let's face it, you have to escalate or this will never turn in to anything. Start out on your date and mention that you are still sad about your friend's death. That will trigger her emotional bond and prompt her to appease you. Then you tell her you need to stop thinking about it and want to focus on happy stuff. Then you subtly start escalating with kino. Put your arm around her, hug her or whatever, and tell her that you are glad she is your friend. Then say something about how she's good at hugging or it feels good hugging her. In her mind she'll be thinking "Yes, this does feel good doesn't it?"

Start looking for ioi's. If you get them, keep going with it. If not, try to schedule yet another date and then escalate even more on that date. The more you get to know her and hang out, and the more you escalate, the more likely this will build into a sexual relationship eventually.

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“Nothing is impossible, the word itself says 'I'm possible'!” ~Audrey Hepburn

Thanks buddy for replying. Yea I definitely like the sound of that idea. And youre totally right about the escalation part, its about time I notch things up a bit (even though Ive tried holding her hand first couple of times but she wasnt over the moon about that). But she did use any excuse to touch me from that moment on haha.

Im afraid from the fact she keeps referring to me as a friend. Shes done this multiple times but I always stay clear of any friendzone bullshit. Maybe this point has me worried the most. Anyways our date in uni is for tuesday so what should I do up until then? I talk to her almost everyday when we message each other. should I stop this or keep going? Thanks alot puaninja for your time

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Good things come to those who wait. Greater things come to those who get off their ass and do anything to make it happen

Yea, keep talking to her like normal. The key is to just keep this whole thing going for as long as possible because rapport and attraction can be built over time, even if not at first. It's like one of those cheesy teen/chick flicks where the girl eventually realizes that the guy she thought was her best friend was actually the one she was falling in love with all along.

I went on a couple dates with this girl recently. We had a past a long time ago, but it's basically starting over now. She tried to set the "just friends" frame on me and I kept telling her she's too pretty to be just a friend. At dinner I sat next to her in the booth, put my arm around her, felt her hips and rubbed her arms, held her hands. Tried rubbing the inside of her leg and she had to remove my hands and hold them away and tell me no. DID NOT PHASE ME.

I'm an alpha in my own world and I go after women I am sexually attracted to. If they don't like it they know how to get in their car and drive away, I won't stop them. That being said, I walked her to her car after dinner and got a kiss. Stayed there talking, grabbed her by the waist and pulled her in for more kisses, this time much longer and way more passionate. There was no pushing me away or telling me no at that point. She wanted it. Make sure to keep that mindset at all times--the girl always wants it. Don't bitch out and become all beta just because some of your tactics initially fall short. Keep going with it. Keep escalating.

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“Nothing is impossible, the word itself says 'I'm possible'!” ~Audrey Hepburn

Hahaha really enjoyed your side of the that story and its completely true. We are the alphas and we need to be out there doing what we see fit, not anybody else. Anyways thanks for your help and ill be sure to post back to say how things went. Props to you man

Any other advice from somebody else would also be welcome!

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Good things come to those who wait. Greater things come to those who get off their ass and do anything to make it happen

As promised, Im going to tell you guys how it went, but its not a success story at all. Well, the night before the date, I was chatting with her and I cracked a joke (it was a slight neg but nothing too bad or offensive) and she just fkn flipped at me. I didnt take it too seriously but then she goes overboard negging me back really hard. So at this point Im thinking to myself, "bro, shes retarded, and you always knew she was a mess."

So I flaked on her the next day. We made eye contact in class but she quickly looked away then looked back at me and gave a slight smile, so I nodded (haha at this point I just didnt care anymore). So anyways, I was passing by the place (she didnt see me) we arranged to meet and to my surprise shes sitting there with some other guy. i realized that she was still hoping that I would pass by and see her with some other guy.

Just to get back at her, I walked past her with another girl just so she doesnt feel like she won with me. She saw me afterwards and said hi once again I barely nodded towards her direction.

Lesson learnt: dont try to seduce emotionally unstable women AT ALL

You should see her Facebook page after this all happened, posting all this shit about how she doesnt need anybody in her life and that she is incapable of loving. I dont know what this girls deal is, but all I know is it was a massive waste of time, shes just a mess of a person.

Any feedback or outlook would be appreciated (or we can just laugh about this )

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Good things come to those who wait. Greater things come to those who get off their ass and do anything to make it happen

Yea, she's just a mess. That's a trap waiting to happen for the next unsuspecting AFC to fall right into. She'll be dumping all her emotional baggage on that guy and treating him like shit until he wises up, or gets fed up and moves on like you did. Be thankful you are done with this broad.

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“Nothing is impossible, the word itself says 'I'm possible'!” ~Audrey Hepburn

I would just like to thank you once again puaninja for your time. It will be a learning experience for sure, and thats all its ever going to be. Moving on...

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Good things come to those who wait. Greater things come to those who get off their ass and do anything to make it happen