Ok so this is my first post here. I've been following this forum for some time so I kinda get the concepts here but I find myself in a dilemma.A BIG one.
I THINK this is the appropriate section for this kind of stuff , if not , dont bash on me too hard and point me to the right direction,please.

I've been with this girl for quite some time now. I'm 19 and shes 18. She's a virgin , she's very hot and has 0 to no sexual experience whatsoever.
She is however a very sexual person an has quite a big sexual appetite.

There are a few problems:

Oral sex:
She enjoys and gives me blowjobs , she has expressed that already , I'm the first guy she did it to, I'm happy about it.

However. She has this very stupid idea that pussy is (in her own words) disgusting. The irony in this is that I've seen disgusting pussy , but hers is just that type that you wanna stuff your face in. Its in NO way an issue in her case. This is a problem because ,because of this idea , she doesn't want me to give her oral.
Now,I'm not an idiot. I did give her oral once or twice and she enjoyed it everytime. Moaning , twitching ,you know , the good stuff.
Believe me I tried to get this out of her head but she just says that the idea of recieving oral just doesn't appeal to her , although she enjoyed it when she did get it.

Moving on - actual intercourse.
We tried this several times. Her 'cherry popped' eventually ( after some struggle ). It hurts her everytime , quite a lot actually. Pain tears actually crawl outta her eyes. The weird and stupid thing I dont understand is that it STILL hurts for her everytime we try intercourse,after the cherry popping happened. Sometimes a lot , sometimes not as much. Point is , she's very sensitive and always unable to enjoy it because of this.
So like I said , I'm not an idiot. I know she has to be wet , I know she has to be relaxed and I make sure she is.I dont have a damn dragon in my pants so it's not like I'm too big for her or anything.

She is however a few inches shorter than me. It did strike me that I might be too big for how tight she is but can that actually be an issue ? I mean ..c'mon.

Now ,as you can see , if oral is off the table and so is intercourse , how the fuck am I supposed to please her ? you can only do so much with your fingers.

She's very loyal , we love eachother , all that stuff.She also made it very clear that she wishes to have enjoyable sex with me and wants to solve this problem.

I really wanna find a way to get over these two MAJOR issues.

Ideas ? oh,and sorry for the long post.

Having the same issue with giving oral. Doesn't help that she gave me head after I was sliding on her pussy...she said she tastes bad LOL.

Try lube, I don't think its uncommon for a girl to experience discomfort when they first start having sex, I could be wrong. Is she of a nervous disposition?

No , she's not of nervous disposition. Like I said she's a very sexual being , she enjoys the sexual act a lot and is very relaxed.

I'll give the lube a shot , but what about the oral issue ?

Also , thank you for your imput.

Any other advice you guys might have ? Anything ( except stupid answers ) are of use.

If she hadn't been a virgin I would say "Weird sexual hang ups" and tell you to next her, but this is a totally new situation to me.

I would imagine its probably nothing abnormal and will perhaps resolve itself given time, maybe consult a medical expert about it.

I used to have this problem with my ex-girlfriend. Just powering through it using a lot of lube and taking it slow did the trick for us, although it took some time before the vagina adjusted or whatever... I guess she could work with herself and a dildo aswell, takes the pressure of. About the oral it's just a matter of making her comfortable, don't push it but show her that you enjoy it and that she's beautiful down there.

She may just have a thick hymen. Some girls have to go to the doctor to get it cut because having it ripped repeatedly during intercourse is about as pleasant as having your eyelid ripped off. It's not an uncommon medical issue. I had used toys on myself for years before I lost my virginity. I still bled like crazy and the next time I had sex, I bled again. I didn't know that was possible and the weird part is that neither time was even painful.... So I can't imagine how bad it is if you guys have had sex multiple times and every time she's crying in pain. If it's too deep, just keep it shallow. Over time her body should adjust, but in the meantime you don't want to spoil her opinion of penetrative sex by associating it with pain. Plus she'll think you're sweet and considerate if you modify your style just for her. Has she ever come?

As far as head goes... does she masturbate? If a girl doesn't know how to do it to herself, then it's going to be a long process. The key is to let her know how much it turns you on. Make her feel like she's doing a favor for you by letting you eat her out and it'll ease some of her reservations about her own body.

Dude, some girls just have small, tight, pussies. Which is good. I bet she has those really small lips that are all tucked in nicely and don't hang down between her legs like a highschool auditorium curtain. Girls like that will always have tight pussies, even if they have lots of sex, especially if they don't get with really large men. The only problem is that when you first break them in, it's hell for them as well as you, because it can be painful and uncomfortable for quite a while. I devirginized a girl like that once and the sex was never very good because she always resisted and complained that it hurt. But I'm sure as she got older it got easier/better for her.

The other issues this girl have are just a function of her being immature and sexually inexperienced. I remember when I was younger and had only gotten two blowjobs in my lifetime, I convinced myself that I didn't like receiving head. But the truth was that I'd just never learned how to enjoy it because I hadn't done it enough. Really, the only fix here is time and experience. Just stay at it and keep trying to work through these issues and don't get too discouraged.

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“Nothing is impossible, the word itself says 'I'm possible'!” ~Audrey Hepburn

She only bled once and just a few drops. The first time I actually broke it. Never again ,but the pain was either worse or the same at best.

I'm not really pushing the penetration at all.She's actually the one who insists on trying it every time.She says she really wants to get it over with.

And yes,she does masturbate (seriously are there people who dont ?) and like I said , every time I did go down she did enjoy it and got very turned on. Apparently a lot of my girl friends have this weird issue. The say they don't like the 'idea' of recieving oral.


That's actually true ,lol.
Really ? The next day after I got my very first bj it was virtually impossible to wipe the smile off of my face.


It's not that I'm getting discouraged by this it's just that I kinda feel stupid because I'm always high on pleasure and she's in pain. It's seriously fucked up cuz whenever I begin undressing her I always know that at some point she's gonna not be able to enjoy it.

I mean having 'sex' without either oral or penetration is like watching a movie with no sound and no subtitles. It just doesn't feel right.

I had similar issues with my girlfriend. I honestly believe that she didn't me going down on her because she doesn't want me to eat her out then kiss her after. She doesn't like the taste of her own pussy which I find understandable. Because SHE doesn't like the taste she becomes insecure because she knows I am tasting something that she believes to taste gross. My fix to this was to only give her oral during times that would not lead to sex.For example ill start slowly moving in between her legs and she'll get shy and not want me to continue. But I know she enjoys it! So I say things like " Come on. I like doing it" or "Please just a little" and "It turns me on to see you feel good" to encourage her to let me eat her out. After a while she accepted that I really enjoy doing it. Also, If its leading to sex I just quickly rinse with mouthwash so she doesn't have to taste it. But sometimes it can kill the mood.

For painful sex. My solution is to not penetrate completely. It took practice for me because every time we had sex she was in a lot of pain. After a while of trying you get a threshold on how deep you can go in what positions. Just takes a little bit of time and experimenting and making she she told me what felt good and what hurt. Also there could be something medical coming into play. Using reliable sites like WebMD you can look up list of diagnoses that can cause her pain during intercourse. Wish you the best of luck brother.

Just like anybody I didn’t get this from my parents but from the addition of various women that I’ve met in the past.!!

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-- CarlyCrazee
@ sex toys for men