Where did i go wrong?



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 Post subject: Where did i go wrong?
PostPosted: Wed Jan 09, 2013 3:45 pm 
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I need help on how I should have steered this convorsation to be successful. The university I attend is not very linked (Unlike US ones which have a big greek scene/frats)

sit down beside HB8
me: hey uh this is the room for **** right?
HB8: uhh *smiles* yeah i hope so
me: haha me too
HB8: *giggles* you confused me for a second there
me: I'm just as confused as you are
*Body lang opens up slightly towards me*
--short period of not talking, we were both checking our phones
me: so have you had this guy before as a prof?
HB8: no i had a different guy
me: oh i had this guy last year and hes awesome he's even really funny
HB8: *little smile*
me: so did you take part 1 for this course (not a stupid question, because part 1 was not a prereq)
HB8: yeah i took it last term with some guy
me: oh i took it last year with this guy
--again no talking going on for ~5 minutes
me: do you know what course number this is?
HB8: umm im not sure i'll check
me: thanks my internet on my phone isnt working
HB8: the number is *****
me: *writes it down on top of my page*
--another ~5 minutes not talking, then we get the syllabuses handed out to us
me: uhoh i hate when a class has only tests and no assignments
HB8: yeah, last term i had a class where 5% was just participation
me: i would hate that class so much. usually i can get an A+ on an assignment but only like B's on tests
*prof starts the class going over the syllabus*
*body lang starts to close up
*prof talks about how he'll ask people who text to put their phone away*
*me noticing she was texting lots i whispered "dont worry he wont actually hes lying"
*she started to giggle, but it may have been from a text she got
*end of class she leaves, i leave.


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PostPosted: Wed Jan 09, 2013 4:16 pm 
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You were not only too indirect, but too boring. It's a very common mistake that guys do when trying to open a girl with situational commentary. Here's how your routine sounded to the girl:

"Hi, here's a rhetorical question.
Yep, I'm trying to be humorous and still talk to you.
Still trying to keep this convo going, here's another pointless question.
Here's several other even more boring questions.
It's now obvious that I'm just trying to keep your attention with random bullshit.
Hey, you seem disinterested, I'm going to try to be funny again to win your approval.
Now I'm going to be quiet because clearly you are avoiding me since my approach was weak."

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PostPosted: Wed Jan 09, 2013 4:25 pm 
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Quote:
You were not only too indirect, but too boring. It's a very common mistake that guys do when trying to open a girl with situational commentary. Here's how your routine sounded to the girl:

"Hi, here's a rhetorical question.
Yep, I'm trying to be humorous and still talk to you.
Still trying to keep this convo going, here's another pointless question.
Here's several other even more boring questions.
It's now obvious that I'm just trying to keep your attention with random bullshit.
Hey, you seem disinterested, I'm going to try to be funny again to win your approval.
Now I'm going to be quiet because clearly you are avoiding me since my approach was weak."
Yeah i realized after how i was boring her by the end despite her initial interest.
My biggest problem is that i have no idea which conversational threads to transition into, and the proper words for transitioning into them. I feel like i should have subtly negged her by saying something like "hey you uh got something right here" *then point to my own teeth to make her think she has food stuck in her own* but other than that, i'm clueless on how to properly change the subject without making it seem awkward


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PostPosted: Wed Jan 09, 2013 4:38 pm 
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Oh boy. Yea, no on the neg. Bad idea.

I would've opened with the line about class or whatever. Then introduced myself and got her name. Then started immediately getting personal. Ask her about who she is and what her major is and then probe as to why she finds that field of study interesting and what she wants to be when she grows up. Then tell her something about you that represents a commonality between you.

That's what most people get wrong. They never go direct or personal enough and they end up leaving themselves in the stranger zone and talking about boring things that trail off into nothing.

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“Nothing is impossible, the word itself says 'I'm possible'!” ~Audrey Hepburn


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PostPosted: Wed Jan 09, 2013 4:54 pm 
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Okay, I'm going to try that tommorrow at school after i find someone to randomly open thanks! =)


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PostPosted: Sat Jan 12, 2013 11:31 am 
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So I stopped reading the initial post about halfway through because it got painful. No diss OP , we're all friends here :D .

But yeah , the ninja basically nailed it:
Quote:
"Hi, here's a rhetorical question.
Yep, I'm trying to be humorous and still talk to you.
Still trying to keep this convo going, here's another pointless question.
Here's several other even more boring questions.
It's now obvious that I'm just trying to keep your attention with random bullshit.
Hey, you seem disinterested, I'm going to try to be funny again to win your approval.
Now I'm going to be quiet because clearly you are avoiding me since my approach was weak."
If you feel you're running out of material just bail. It's better to bail now rather then sticking around and making it awkward for yourself. Anyway , I read this line here , don't know who came up with it but it's golden for both opening and bailing.

So say you open this girl and feel like you dont really have anything to say anymore. You wanna bail , but you wanna do it in a way that doesn't make you feel stupid.

*you're opening..blabla
more bla bla
you start planning the bail
bla bla
You: So anywayz , I saw this cute girl this morning who almost went though the main door (-I'm not an english native so I hope you understand this. what i mean is that she banged her head in the door.). Was that you ?
Her: *giggle* no,must've been someone else.
You: Yeah , sure it was. A'right , see you around. And don't go around banging your head in any more doors.
*

Then , when you see her again you even have a good opener.
"Any more doors giving you trouble?"

Needles to say , be humorous about it. This is how I do it if I run out of material.

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PostPosted: Sat Jan 12, 2013 11:09 pm 
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Yeah, thanks to ninja's advice i was able to open & maintain a good set later on last week, ended up with her fb closing me, and telling me she would "see me next week"


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PostPosted: Sun Jan 13, 2013 11:08 pm 
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I actually liked your conversation ok but don't think she was ever interested in you. One thing I would avoid is speaking negatively about the class. You had two "I hate this...." . Women generally don't like complaining or negative speak. With the 5 minutes in between you could have got her name, and number or at least got more personal.

One thing I am confused about is, is this a girl you know you are going to see in the coming weeks in the same class? If so you still may be ok


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PostPosted: Mon Jan 14, 2013 8:19 am 
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Posts: 138
Quote:
You were not only too indirect, but too boring. It's a very common mistake that guys do when trying to open a girl with situational commentary. Here's how your routine sounded to the girl:

"Hi, here's a rhetorical question.
Yep, I'm trying to be humorous and still talk to you.
Still trying to keep this convo going, here's another pointless question.
Here's several other even more boring questions.
It's now obvious that I'm just trying to keep your attention with random bullshit.
Hey, you seem disinterested, I'm going to try to be funny again to win your approval.
Now I'm going to be quiet because clearly you are avoiding me since my approach was weak."
Voice of truth ;) ^


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