Hi guys. After a good month of dating my girlfriend (a long distance relationship), she's in my town for this week. Last night, I went to go visit her. We were having quite a serious conversation, during which she told me that she kissed another guy (while we were in the relationship). Sure I felt hurt, but I froze out and didn't know what to say. Later on I told her, "It's okay, this won't get between us".

The night did end off rather well. During the night she also told me "give me a chance to miss you". She told me via text that if she tells me something and it actually hurts, I shouldn't keep quiet and make as if everything is okay. Otherwise she's going to get used to it and she told me it might cause her to walk over me, and both of us don't want it to happen.

I don't want to fight with her, just because she kissed another guy (which is why I let it go). How can I make sure that she doesn't just walk over me, but at the same time avoid aimlessly arguing?

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"Everything you do will be insignificant, but it is very important that you do it" - Gandhi

I'm in a relationship where my girl kissed someone 1 month in, my advice. leave bbefore you fall for her. And if its your first relationship, all mistakes you let her get away with will add up.

Do you already argue, do you think deep down that shes good for you and what do your friends think of her?

Goodness no! I've been in a few relationships. She fell for me and I followed suit, soon after. She admitted that it definitely wasn't a mistake and it does seem like she really wants to be with me. I can forgive her this once, but I want an honest and open relationship with her. No secrets, otherwise it's not going to work.

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"Everything you do will be insignificant, but it is very important that you do it" - Gandhi

Bad thing: She kissed some random dude
Good thing: She told you
Very good thing: If she actually said that you stumbled across a pretty decent girl.


In any case , think about it like this:

You feel atrraction towards quite a few different girls on a daily basis,right ? if given that chance of kissing / having sex / blabla with some of them you probably would right ?
What I'm trying to say is that its normal that she is atrracted to other guys , it's human nature.
Explain to her,however,that if she wants a relationship with you , she can't just go around kissing any random dude.I mean , it's a commitment. She's either up to it or she isn't. Make that very clear for her.

Never,ever forgive anyone so easily like you just did because you WILL be walked all over.


At any rate , this girls appears to not be an idiot by what she told you. And also , she was honest. Those are some serious qualities which allow for great communication. Take advantage of this , you probably dont know how rarely you find these qualities in people.

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I think these things can be excused in the first few weeks of a relationship. Just move forward.

But the arguement thing seems to be an issue already.

I believe we are arguing a few times now, but there's good reason behind it. We spent a month away from each other and it was all text until she came to visit. Now that she is here, we are getting to know each other better. Since we didn't spend much time together early on. This might explain why she kissed this guy... and why we had a heated argument.

We're moving forward at least, and it actually does feel like we've been together for quite a while. We're still getting to know each other...

Usually in most relationships it's usually amazing in the first month, second month comes and know you start realizing that both of you have mistakes and aren't perfect... then the third month comes where you've spent enough time together that you can make a firm decision that you either want to continue... or stop everything all.

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"Everything you do will be insignificant, but it is very important that you do it" - Gandhi

Long distance rarely works. This is because there is a thin line between allowing somebody to miss you, and them getting used to you not being around. The latter will eventually happen and she will end up doing the same thing again.

I would say to keep it casual for a few months and see how that goes.

It's a semi long distance relationship. I'm going to see her once a week.

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"Everything you do will be insignificant, but it is very important that you do it" - Gandhi

NEXT! this kind of thing sets the pace for the relationship.