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| Author | Message |
| Mastery101 | PostPosted: Mon Jan 07, 2013 11:01 pm | |
| Offline | | New to MPUA Forum |  |
Joined: Fri Oct 07, 2011 6:03 pm
Posts: 12 | | So, I'll try keep it as short as possible but get the main points.
Been with this girl for 6 months. We love each other to bits.
She's talked about having kids in the future and getting married etc.
She's had a bit of a "past" with guys but I really liked her and gave her a chance.
Our sex life is amazing.
Although we both love each other it always seems like I do all the caring and work.
She'll takes ages to reply to texts, flake some nights we've arranged to meet, turn up late and generally do those types of things that I'd never do to her.
It might be soft but it does kinda hurt my feelings. I wouldn't treat her like that so it kinda sucks.
When we see each other it always seems to be on her terms.
I've told her how I feel and she responds with "It's just the way I was brought up, my mum has bad time keeping etc etc....."
I know some of you might just say "Do it to her, flake on her once in a while."
BUT
I find that I can't, I love spending time with her too much to flake, I love her company.
What should I do to sort this? I'm willing to change my ways to sort this all out.
Thanks in advance.
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| Langlo | PostPosted: Mon Jan 07, 2013 11:19 pm | |
| Offline | | MPUA Forum Enthusiast |
Joined: Sat Dec 22, 2012 8:48 pm
Posts: 66 | | Is her flaking a mind game, or is she busy, and you're a low priority. I would handle it in 2 different way based on you answer.
Sound to me like your a low priority.
"It's just the way I was brought up, my mum has a bad time keeping etc etc....."
1: She's bad with her time
and
2: You're the last on her to-do-list
Are these your 2 problems?
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| Midrange | PostPosted: Tue Jan 08, 2013 4:03 am | |
| Offline | | Member of MPUA Forum |  |
Joined: Mon Feb 27, 2012 2:10 am
Posts: 117 | | 'we love each other to bits'.
well.. do you both feel that way? how do you know she truly feels the same way? it should be something you can feel from her, see in her eyes. it's so obvious when it's really there. but if she's acting like this towards you.. it just doesn't seem like she's on the level you're at, and that's not fair to you.
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| Langlo | PostPosted: Tue Jan 08, 2013 9:19 am | |
| Offline | | MPUA Forum Enthusiast |
Joined: Sat Dec 22, 2012 8:48 pm
Posts: 66 | | They have been together for 6 months. I think this is important to remember. She talks about having kids and getting married, and their sex life is good. Sounds like she is very happy with the relationship.
Mastery, you sound like you're bothered. Talking to her about it didn't work. At least in the way you brought it up. If it were me, I would have said something like.
"I need a certain amount of attention"..(her excuses for flaking).."you know relationships are work"
You're not threatening her. Just stating facts. She should get the message. You're making her aware of her need to work on her relationship skills(taking you for granted) or negative consequences will necessarily follow.
If you come at her with "I don't think you care as much as I do" all you will get is words of reassurance. You have a practical problem not an emotional one. You're not doing all the caring but you're doing most the work.
And it never hurts to spark up the relationship a little too. Id start here if you haven't already.
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| puaninja | PostPosted: Tue Jan 08, 2013 2:13 pm | |
| Offline | | PUA Forum Leader |  |
Joined: Fri Aug 10, 2012 12:27 pm
Posts: 2817 | | There's only two types of people in the world. The 15 minutes late people, and the 15 minutes early people. Some people are always late. They structure their routines so that they procrastinate until the point where they have an impossible time contstraint and they are forced to be late. They've developed such a habit of doing this that they begin to see it as part of their personality, and timeliness then becomes something they are averse to.
This thing of being late is simpy a bad habit of hers. Maybe try giving her times 30 minutes earlier than when you intend on being there. That way when she shows up late she'll be right on time.
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“Nothing is impossible, the word itself says 'I'm possible'!” ~Audrey Hepburn
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