She said "maybe later" to phone #, how should I respond?



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PostPosted: Mon Jan 07, 2013 5:02 pm 
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Hi guys, first post on this forum.

So I've been talking to an attractive girl on OKC for the last 3-4 days and when I asked for her number last night, she said "umm maybe later", but earlier said that she would like to go skiing with me sometime. Where did I go wrong and how should I respond to her? Any advice would be greatly appreciated!

Here is our conversation thus far:

Me: Patriots?! Ahh...just don't get depressed when the Broncos (my team) kicks their butt in the AFC championship game lol. Do you go skiing very often?
Her: Yes I do:)
Me: Nice. Mainly places around GR like Cannonsburg or do you travel a bit to bigger hills? I go to Caberfae pretty often and sometimes Boyne and Crystal
Her: Yes I go to Colorado alot
Me: So jealous! I haven't been able to go out there yet.
Fourwheeling too, awesome.. lol where do you usually go?
Her: For four wheeling in my woods and trails
Me: Same here. Ever go up to silver lake with them?
Her: No but want too
Me: You should! Sooo much fun. I'm Clint btw :) Always forget that part lol
Her: Lol hi :)
Me: So what's up? Any crazy plans for this weekend?
Her: Lingerie party now
Me: Well that sounds pretty awesome :D. Haha so hey, would you like to go skiing at Cannonsburg on Sunday afternoon? I'm going to break in my new board and need a riding buddy!
Her: That be sweet but I'm busy sorry:)!
Me: Ahh darn. Lol will be going again very soon though ;). I'll try not to wreck myself in the terrain park haha and maybe we could try another day?
Her: Yes I would like that:)
Me: Awesome :). Snow was great today...but its supposed to be 56 degrees by end of the week, wtf! Be skiing in a t-shirt haha
Her: Lol that's still semi cold:) unless the sun is out. I love snow!!!
Me: Me too! Semi cold is good by me haha. Hey what's your number?? We should text, its sooo much easier than opening this app every time!
Her: Umm maybe later


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PostPosted: Mon Jan 07, 2013 5:32 pm 
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I'm not the most skilled guy in this field, but I usually say something light hearted and witty, basically stating that I'm to busy for maybe. If no response I just move on, no reason to get worked up over one girl. That's just what I do, everybody is different.


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PostPosted: Mon Jan 07, 2013 6:19 pm 
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maybe later means you need to build more rapport

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PostPosted: Sun Jan 13, 2013 7:36 am 
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This was pretty painful to read bro... For every time you gave her a compliment/approval, I cringed--and that was a lot of cringing. e.g. "nice" "So jealous" "Well that sounds pretty awesome :D"

You need to learn about push/pull.

Also, did you seriously just ask a stranger to go skiing with you? What sane girl would agree to this until you've hung out at least 10 times.

My advice is to start messaging less attractive girls so you can get better at online game/game in general. Then try again with cuter girls.

Quote:
Hi guys, first post on this forum.

So I've been talking to an attractive girl on OKC for the last 3-4 days and when I asked for her number last night, she said "umm maybe later", but earlier said that she would like to go skiing with me sometime. Where did I go wrong and how should I respond to her? Any advice would be greatly appreciated!

Here is our conversation thus far:

Me: Patriots?! Ahh...just don't get depressed when the Broncos (my team) kicks their butt in the AFC championship game lol. Do you go skiing very often?
Her: Yes I do:)
Me: Nice. Mainly places around GR like Cannonsburg or do you travel a bit to bigger hills? I go to Caberfae pretty often and sometimes Boyne and Crystal
Her: Yes I go to Colorado alot
Me: So jealous! I haven't been able to go out there yet.
Fourwheeling too, awesome.. lol where do you usually go?
Her: For four wheeling in my woods and trails
Me: Same here. Ever go up to silver lake with them?
Her: No but want too
Me: You should! Sooo much fun. I'm Clint btw :) Always forget that part lol
Her: Lol hi :)
Me: So what's up? Any crazy plans for this weekend?
Her: Lingerie party now
Me: Well that sounds pretty awesome :D. Haha so hey, would you like to go skiing at Cannonsburg on Sunday afternoon? I'm going to break in my new board and need a riding buddy!
Her: That be sweet but I'm busy sorry:)!
Me: Ahh darn. Lol will be going again very soon though ;). I'll try not to wreck myself in the terrain park haha and maybe we could try another day?
Her: Yes I would like that:)
Me: Awesome :). Snow was great today...but its supposed to be 56 degrees by end of the week, wtf! Be skiing in a t-shirt haha
Her: Lol that's still semi cold:) unless the sun is out. I love snow!!!
Me: Me too! Semi cold is good by me haha. Hey what's your number?? We should text, its sooo much easier than opening this app every time!
Her: Umm maybe later


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PostPosted: Sun Jan 13, 2013 7:46 am 
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She was giving you 4 or 5 word answers while you were giving her usually 2 lines. It subcommunicates neediness. You don't want to be writing that much more than the girl. Cut out the fat of what you say and get her talking before you start writing that much

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PostPosted: Mon Jan 14, 2013 1:31 am 
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Hey bro, I am sorry to hear about this, I know how it feels to be in that position. It can ruin your mood for awhile, but you must stay strong and let it just pass through you and not affect you or else your game will just suffer from it.

I suppose I could think of a response or two for the scenario, but I think it would be more productive to suggest that you instead ask yourself where you went wrong, instead of how to respond to that response of hers, since if you had of done things differently then it is very well possible that you would have never gotten the terrible response of "maybe later".

From viewing the conversation it is obvious you are the one investing the energy and seeking her, and she is being somewhat passive giving only bare answers which is just 1 step above being ignored. You should have been aware of this and altered your actions accordingly, you should not have asked for the number yet until you managed to get closer to her and was connected with each other.

Try to work on attracting her to you more first and get her participating with you in the conversation, then build comfort and do not try to rush things if the pace is not going at what you want, try to talk to numerous women so that you don't become impatient like that with one of them.
Even if she had given you her number, it feels like to me it would have been difficult progressing forward from that point.

Also I have realized game online works very differently than game in the real world, it is much more difficult to accomplish, so if you know the game for hooking up with women in real life, don't do things exactly the same.

If I was in that scenario I suppose I would just go with it and be like "that's cool", or even act like her response was a good thing in some way, she probably wrote it and felt it was a negative thing towards you and that you would have a negative reaction, and for the average man it would be tempting to say something like "why not?!" or "come on, give it to me", which would then lower your value even more and ruin your chances, but I could see it being possible to turn it around to a neutral or positive thing with a response like, "nice. ;)".. as if you was really going to get it just later and being positive about it, which would not be what she expected.
Then after that I would try to go back and work on the step(s) that I missed, like nothing negative happened at all and never bring up that moment again and hope she forgets it.


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PostPosted: Mon Jan 14, 2013 6:46 pm 
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Joined: Mon Jan 07, 2013 4:50 pm
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Quote:
Also, did you seriously just ask a stranger to go skiing with you? What sane girl would agree to this until you've hung out at least 10 times.
Her "ideal first date" was skiing or something outdoors so I figured what the hell. I am very much a noob at this. I realized I was going downhill quick right about there...and then I found this forum.

I went with the "that's cool" approach to it and have been getting much better, longer responses from her since then, and shortening mine quite a bit.

Thanks guys for your input!


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