Hi, guys
LDR story here
While at a concert out of town, I was in the Zone and effortlessly picked up a HB8.5, goth chick.20 mins after starting a chat with her, we bounced locations, 10 mins afterwards we kissing/groping/etc. Was too drunk to take her to my hotel and I also activated her bitch shield. Granted, it’s a small town, word gets around. Next day we were supposed to meet, called her, set it up, then an hour later she calls telling me she can’t do this. I said ok and cut her off. She texts saying she’s sorry she can’t do this to wich I reply with “fine”. A few hours later she calls me and asks me to describe the streets I’m walking. I can tell she wants to be with me, tried to lure her out, but to no avail. We talk for an least an hour about how she wants to come but she can’t... I discover she’s very negative view on life, thinks she’s a monster. I hang up in cold blood as it doesn’t help my case. She calls again. Now she seems to be afraid of me hanging up the phone on her... Strikes me as needy. Hanging up seems to be working.
I leave town, reinitiate contact 2 weeks later by text, we endup talking a lot, she wants to see me and so do I.
I decide to take the 7 hours trip to this town 2 weeks later, booked a room, etc. We meet, everything goes smooth, “she’s so into me” I’m thinking. First night I didn’t get her to go to me hotel room, second night I did. Due to some objective personal reasons, I didn’t fucked her. Made up some bullshit about the room being too shitty. Still, the whole 3 days I was staying there things went well.
3 days after I get back home she throws the same negative shit to me, stuff like “It’s fine now, but it always ends bad, I’m a monster”. "Those girls are so close to you, why are you interested in me?" - shit test I replied with "For now I'm interested in you"
She says she must wear her armor so she doesn’t get hurt. I’m trying to convice her that she’s talking non-sense and that this sort of atitude will push me in somebody else’s arms. I tell her that we’re not having a relationship just yet but if it is worth it, I’m willing to relocate on a trial basis. (I know, bad move)
When she calls I’m usually in some bar - she gets paranoid. She just finishes the conversation quickly when I’m out.
Another call full of neediness and negativity few days later and I snap a bit, tell her I’m done fighting windmills, these are your problems. Then went no contact.
She has a lot of bagage. I don’t want to be accused of future bad deeds. I also find out she has no friends, except for her sister. Red flag. She rarely goes out.
She texts me 4 days later saying I was afraid it would come to that. I call her she hangs up on me saying she’s busy. Thing is the night before some dude hit my leg with his car so I was under medical supervision for 24 hrs. - not too bad though. I texted a “grow up, I have bigger problems that this childish game”. She calls, we go back to nice chats, I can tell she’s trying not to bring out her negative views. However, she says she’s not coming over for NYE.
However, shit hits the fan, she starts rambling about shit like “I’m a monster, This is a virtual relationship, you keep reffering about everything at fututre tense”... Then it gets thick. She lets her paranoia out rambling about “One day you’re going to buy bread but in fact you’ll go fuck somebody else.” “You men are all alike”. She starts to shit test me hard, implying that there might another guy. I know it to be bullshit but who knows? She goes into a psycho frenzy. "You are just like all other guys, interested in only sex". She wants me but she doesn’t want me... I told her wihout getting mad that I’m break up with her, sudden silence then says “I don’t want a relationship with you, but I want to be friends”. Then switches to "we can be friends and sometimes fuck" Thought to myself LJBF-ed after I dumped her? WTF? Anyways, I told her I’d rather not be friends with someone I’d rather fuck, so no. We should go our separate ways.
On New Year’s Eve she sends text saying “I hope you’ll have a good time with your friends, etc etc. Kiss” She end it with “Kiss” as a potential bait. I replied with a non-sequitur text. No contact since then.
Little did I know back then she is an Emotionally Manipulative Woman (EMW)
Still, I’m left with my head scrathcing. Any thoughts? I beta backslid somewhere, no doubt... Problem is I want another crack at it.

Hey man, don't get it confused. This woman isn't as much emotionally manipulative as she is emotionally unstable. Manipulative woman have a high level of control over there emotions(outwardly). That's what makes them scary. It also makes them easy to predict.

All people try to have control over there situation and can be manipulative. This girl sounds lost more then anything.

So what are you asking?
Do you deal with it?-- That's all up to you, but it sounds like that's what you're leaning towards.

How to deal with it?-- Need more info, and your goal. Relationship, long term, Just want to kick it , what?

Thank you for pointing out the difference out, Langlo. What sort of info do you need?
Although I know that unstable girls are better left alone, I'd rather have her as a LDR side fuck, but perhaps even a long term. So far i'm still NC, no signs from her and get the feeling she might have found someone else... Any advice?
I do think weird chicks are good for one's game.

I don't get why you think you can't get what you want. And as far as her finding someone else... doubt it.

She said "we can be friends and sometimes fuck" so I don't get the problem.

I have to ask, do you really not know why she LJBF-ed after you dumped her?

When she said "we can be friends and sometimes fuck" she was most likely trying to string me along. She also said "you're so far ahead from other guys"... She wants me to chase like a rabid monkey. I will not. She's not an internet savy person but lately she spent a lot of time on YM (I'm not in her list as I use SPAM). Maybe she found a rebound over NYE? Can't really tell.
As for why she LJBF-ed me after I dumped her, I think she just doesn't want to lose connection since she doesn't have many friends. What's your opinion?
The terms I ended it was "Call me only if you manage to subdue your fears and want me as your man" or something similar to that. T'was because she wanted to keep calling me even though we were done.
Should I break the No Contact in a couple of days or weeks? I ask reluctantly.

My opinion. You're playing yourself. You want her, but on your terms, but your game isn't tight. Now you think you're locked in a cold war both watching each other to see who blinks first. I don't know about that.

You break up with her, but then say "Call me only if you...want me as your man". This makes as much sense as her LJBF-ing you after you dumped her. Neither of you are really about to walk away because you both want it bad. At least at the beginning of NC. It's possible she has walked away by now, but that's the game you choose to play.

I see two sucky options. Break No Contact or Don't break No Contact. Both have risk and might not end up the way you would like. If you don't break it then that could be the end. She may never call. If you do contact her you may find you started a war she is willing to wage, and you just showed weakness... Or she could be happy you called

From the info you gave this is my best guess.

Agreed, my game was not tight starting at some point (some phone calls), since it's an LDR I had to build more rapport than I would normally do and attraction suffered from it. No contact is the only way I see in order to regain control. On the other hand, she is quite unstable and it's a 7 hours drive, it's not worth it. NC stays, even if it is forever.

On top of that, I've just went through my texts with her and discovered that eariler today I accidentally sent her a text meant for my current FWB, telling her to buy some lube on her way over. They both have the same first name and I only half a brain...

haha Well it is what it is. You have no way of knowing exactly how she'll react to that text.lol

After that text I would break NC. Something simple like "Hey, whats up?"
Just to see if she will still respond.

Yeah, will do that in a week or so... Will let you know how it goes.

Here's the update: I decided to send a text anchoring a positive memory to hit the nostalgia button instead of calling. So far no reply but she might as well be out of phone credit. Fact is it could be she's pissed or just moved on, can't tell. However, I don't really want to pursue this anymore so I will not call. She has to send me some books but will ask for them in an email.

I'm quite positive I dodged a bullet and dumped a species I was not aware of... the BPD chick.
I read some stuff on sosuave and what I'm about to paste from there is a carbon copy of what I've been through. I was lucky enough to jump ship early. What follows is a must read.
"Did she smile so cutely and tilt her head a little when you first met? Was she so compliant, so helpful and eager to be with you for the first month or so? Was she uber feminine, beyond sweet, and always available for the first 4 to 6 weeks ? Was it great with her initially and then the red flags started to pop up and her fangs started to bite. Did she portray herself as a little lonely or sad and isolated in some way - and you rescued her and she loved you for your strength and confidence. Did she play the " lost child " or the sad lonely" Rapunzel" who had been locked in the tower and liberated by her connection with you. Did she tease you with sexual hints and subtle promises in the first couple weeks?

And then it all started to change when she knew that you were "hooked" didn't it. Did she then start to act differently as if you "wanted too much" from her....

She pushed you away by creating drama and arguements. You had numerous petty disagreements in which you NEVER really knew,or grasped why you and she were great one minute, but broken up the next..You tried to "reason" with her but it never worked. SHe twisted and spun everything against you .. Confusing and bewildering wasn't it ? ANd she continued to use her sexuality and her connection with other men to hurt you and control you..you wanted to walk away but wanted to stay with her more....and even if you did walk away she would contact you in a few days or a weeks and the sweet loving woman would draw you back in and then the cycle of drama would happen over and over. You endlessly replayed the same short movie.
YOu lived in a state of nervous exhaustion but exhilaration at the same time ,right ?
Surely (you thought ) there was a "way" of fixing this, and you and she would be "happy" together. AS fast as you tried to set it all upright, she would undermine your efforts and the sail boat tipped over again.
YOu heard the horror stories from her past and her childhood. Drunkeness, infidelity, child abuse, drugs, money and wealth, a lifestyle of stupid indulgence by her, her parents and her current "friends" ....
And your lust and gullibility created a belief in you that YOU could transform this woman into the perfect wife, lover and companion didn't you ?

And a few years later you are still wounded and slowly healing. And you just know that she is out there doing EXACTLY what she did to you with some other unsuspecting good guy who just wanted a great woman in his life but ended up with a pathological liar and a cheater who had NO capacity for love or committment."

fugs, what I had just read blew my mind. Was in a 2 year relationship with that exact "monster". Leaves you battered and beaten down and for some reason I sometimes question if I should try and re-kindle...

Glad you could move on much quicker then I can hahah

Good to see that your figured it out! I usually just dump a girl around the second red flag.

_________________
"I cheated on my fear,broke up with doubt and now,I'm marrying my dreams!"

http://www.quitporngetgirls.com

Don't re-kindle, you'll get sucked right back. I know they are addictive, but stay strong and carry on. After all they are unfixable. Most of psychiatrists avoid trying to treat them due to their highly manipulative nature.