Whoah! man your progress is really becoming quite staggering. Looks like you nearly get the lid on the a.a which is something to be proud of.
Well this I can give you some advice because only recently lost my v card and this ^^ could be describing myself a couple of months earlier. I going to be honest your first time will most likely suck (I only lasted a couple of minutes) and yes it is quite scary topic, it seems like a huge monster that you don't want to face. You may have the believe that you will under perform and in turn the girl will tell all her friends and then everyone will know and you be laughed at, I can tell that this is BS. Honestly just believe that you can have sex with a girl.

A way to increase your confidence is to go and buy some condoms, if you haven't already and just follow these basic steps during sex:

1: Just finger the girl until she is very wet.
2: Stick it in a plough for a bit until your done.
3: Finger her until she is done.

Some people last for ages during there first time so if seems like it is going go down that way ignore these steps.

Jump the hurdle, don't try and get rid of it.
Lol man I hate it when this happens to me, I can't give you much help this because I'm the king of procrastinating but in regards to the exercise just consume a lot of caffeine and listen to some pump up music. Unless your ill you should have a good pump and making yourself do exercise will be easy. However I really recommend going to the gym and start lifting weights, not only will it help with your MMA it will also really boost your self confidence.

Eyrie

_________________
My journal: eyrie-s-journal-to-becoming-the-man-vt148355.html

--If you are not giving, you are not living--

Got it.

Day 42 - New Years, first time in bar game and cock-blocking myself

Ok , there were two parts to today-

Part one

I meet my wing NikAFC and his date , pretty cute gal ( 7.5 from New Zealand.) Both were real cool , and i managed to convince his date to meet me and NikAFC later on along with all 3 of her friends (we assumed it was 3 females at this point.)

His date leaves and we sarge to practise for later on , and this dude has NO a.a. whatsoever pretty amusing to see what path i'm going into. The best interaction i had was where i almost convinced this girl to see the fireworks later on in the day , and had she not being French and unable to speak a lick of English it woulda damn worked!! Was getting IOI's , i was kinoing like crazy and had THE best bod language in awhile. My tonality was smooth as f*ck too! .Then weather fu*ks up real bad and we agree for him to send the details of what's going on later and we go home.

Part two

Wing texts me to meet me location to meet-up and i realised the ticket machine took my note without change in the tube station , leaving me broke as hell. I also realise i forgot my damn wallet which had all my money and supplies , so it was total fail here . We get to the bar and we realise it was two guys and a girl + his date.

We take our seats in the bar , and the group was real cool and interesting. Apparently the girls were on some kind of round trip from New Zealand and met those guys on the way in France and they joined up. I spoke to the guy with glasses the most and he was real cool-plays pokemon , and video games so we had a funny conversation.
I then spoke to his date and she was a vet! Here i was speaking to a grown-ass woman and i'm 18 , but we seemed to be able to talk normally. In my mind "adults" and i were from completely different planets but really , along it was just an illusion! I then speak to her friend (my target) LAST to build a lot of interest and it seemed to be working . I then talk , do some guessing and assumptions to make the conversation real fun. I qualify and make her validate, i kino , tease and banter. I DHV my self a little (i produce music and all that shizz , genuine). She seemed hooked so here , i keep switching conversation between her and my new glasses-buddy to keep her on her toes and to make her work a little .

It all seems to be working and we realise they had booked a ticket to a club a week ago!!! I couldn't afford the damn tickets and my wing doesn't have enough for me to get in. My wing asked if they had money but they didn't so i ended up having to go home.... .

A key note for next time-

-FU*KING PREPARE AND MAKE SURE YOU HAVE YOUR WALLET!!!!!

I then go home and realise shizz is completely fuc*ked up. My wing tells me later on that NO ONE was hitting on my target , that she became sad and he managed to go to their house later on , where he kissed and fingered his date .. She was a virgin so the LMR was too high for him to progress. NO competition AT ALL with my target , i definately could've layed her , damn my dopiness!!! This girl was definately DTF. She was single , all dolled up and booked tickets to a club a WEEK ago and gets depressed no-one is hitting on her???

This is the second time i missed a lay because i was too dopey ( see swedish girl around day 23) .

But anyways , that's it for this post! Thank you for reading and stay tuned for the next post!

Claws

Day 45 (thursday) - realising my mindset

I know i'm a little demotivated lately but you guys have been motivating and supporting me alot , and i feel posting is the least i could do for you guys! You guys deserve to know my field reports! So i've basically done EVERYTHING other than college assignments today . I will began that tomorrow hopefully

Today i did just two sets , and got a number. First set was a girl in a complete rush so i couldn't even get two words in edge ways. The second set however!-

HB 8.5 (22 , English girl , seriously thick ass)

So i was walking around and i see this girl with the most beautiful ass in yoga pants. She was around 5'4 with with 4 inches on. I also spot a 6'5 retardedly muscular 'alfa maele' (spelling intended) eye-fuc*ing the crap out of her. Since he didn't approach i might aswell! So i approach by walking past her and looking back at her from a 30 degree angle (if that makes sense) and i look into make eye-contact for 3 seconds or so and then-

Me- Hey , i'm just trying to figure out where your from , your don't look English at ALL. (alfa maele screws me as if to say 'how dare you talk to a girl i was mentally masterbating about!!')
Her-*giggling*
Me-So where you from?
Her-English.
Me-FULLY?!?!
Her-*giggles* yes! ( i realise this girls giggles at everything.
Me- wow , you have a very foreign look to you.
Her-thank you!
*talk about her looking tired , tells me how she was up all day ,exchange names , then we reach the station and she stands still.*
Me-how old are you btw , you look like jailbait!! (funny neg)
Her-22.
Me-PERFECT! Cuz your face (circling my hand around around my face) looks very young.
Her-LOOOL ( this girl seriously finds everything funny?!?!?)
Me-Where you heading to now?
Her-I'm gonna take the tube to my friends house , i'm actua-.
Me-listen , i'm in a hurry . but your totally cute and i think we should go for a coffee after tod-actually after tomorrow.
*takes out phone , she types in. We part ways.

Analysis

First of all i would just like to say that i felt complete joy for hours as i got the girl and the roid head giant was just staring at her and he got so damn pissed when he saw me approached and close!!! I realised some things today-

-having looks , being tall , being ripped MAY create initial attraction , but you ain't gonna tap SH*T if you don't approach!!!!

And as for the girl , i would say my gamestyle quite good here. I had awesome body language , somehow had unbreakable confidence !! I also never gave her a chance to shit test me , as towards the end she wanted to make a quick exit saying she busy but i QUICKLY cut dat sh!t out!! I was being pretty damn decisive and LET HER KNOW my intentions (she cute , wanna go coffee).

Realising my mindset

I realise maybe because i've been screening and cold-reading for over a month now that i'm very selective of who i approach and may take hours till i find one that seems like she would give out her number. I am attempting to become "rejection proof" which is silly. I should be minising it atleast but rejections are to be expected. Today i only approached twice and got a number. There were days were i would only go and approach once and get a number . This needs to CHANGE.

Though this cold-reading ability i'm begining to gain is usefeful but i also want "social freedom". I want to be able to approach any girl i find beautiful at an given time and approach without worrying about rejection. Hell i want to be able to say/do whatever the f*ck i feel like at any time , this is the reason why i like Simple Pickup. I realised after my first approach , it took me awhile to bounce back to my state. I'm not USED to rejection.

I also find i look for way around things too much. For example if i have fear of crowd , i will go to an empty bus stop and wait for a HB to walk past. No one can hear what i'm saying so fear eliminated. This feels cowardly though and is NOT facing my fears head on.

Things I'm STILL procrastinating on-

-College assignments. ( will begin tomorrow)


That's it for today ! Thank you for reading ! Stay tuned for the next post !!

Claws

That's real good with the girl, congratulations!

Numbers are usually unreliable and in your report I can't really see her investing too much, careful of a really smiley girl. I would think though that she may have been just genuinely attracted to you and it would be great to see the follow up of the number!

And I understand what your talking about with the cold approaching and fear of crowds! I have that same problem sometimes, unable to make my body just automatically move towards what it wants...But do it lol. No matter how scared you are, even if its the most awkward shit ever, it frees you!!

If you get a positive interaction while doing something that crazy, you get a high like no other, it sets you up socially. The momentum is amazing, find everyone smiling at you and you just radiate. You can get a terrible rejection too, so be prepared! But you can still give yourself a big pat on the back.

Lots of ways to just approach, If you have a big ego it can be a problem...talking to everyone would be one start. Something that seemed really simple like thanking the bus driver, asking the cashier about his/her holiday etc. Become a people person; able to relate and empathize easily. You'l find people are not so scary and easier to approach!

Another would be like trying something that helps you give less of a fuck. Distance yourself from outcomes, just go up to some girls and say literally anything you want! Sing a strange song, try hum and ignore her after saying hi. You'l less afraid and a lot more confident; I think you'l be surprised how many girls find a strong personality very attractive.

Other than that, great progreesss best of luck! Hope you find what your looking for mate

_________________
Live. Learn. Love.

Thanks for the input. I have come to a realization today that i have a minor fear of rejection but a MAJOR fear of what the people around think if im approaching the girl/if i get rejected. I have crashed and burned many times when theres no one around but am major terrified if there's an audience watching (usually happens in daygame)

Thanks for the input. I have come to a realization today that i have a minor fear of rejection but a MAJOR fear of what the people around think if im approaching the girl/if i get rejected. I have crashed and burned many times when theres no one around but am major terrified if there's an audience watching (usually happens in daygame).Please shed some light on this matter as it's been holding me back since Day 1.

Claws

[/quote]

Thanks for the input. I have come to a realization today that i have a minor fear of rejection but a MAJOR fear of what the people around think if im approaching the girl/if i get rejected. I have crashed and burned many times when theres no one around but am major terrified if there's an audience watching (usually happens in daygame).Please shed some light on this matter as it's been holding me back since Day 1.

Claws[/quote]

Yeeeeepppp it's completely normal and I understand, I have felt that too. Can't do it when so many people are around...She might say no??I will look like a tool...people might laugh at me...

I have had these thoughts lol. You can only just do it, it's a fear that only goes away if you confront it. I have done some crazy shit in crowds, proposing, just walking up to girls, blatantly in a crowds of a about 30 people and saying whatever the fuck I want(Nice boobs, you are fucking gorgeous etc...)

You don't have to anything that drastic rofl, but I really wasn't scared at all after a few where nothing happened. I guess what Im trying to get at is have fun, If you are just fucking around and enjoying the moment, why be attached to what random people will think of you? It's for YOU!

You can miss out on some awesome girls not approaching, best of luck man

_________________
Live. Learn. Love.

Yeeeeepppp it's completely normal and I understand, I have felt that too. Can't do it when so many people are around...She might say no??I will look like a tool...people might laugh at me...

I have had these thoughts lol. You can only just do it, it's a fear that only goes away if you confront it. I have done some crazy shit in crowds, proposing, just walking up to girls, blatantly in a crowds of a about 30 people and saying whatever the fuck I want(Nice boobs, you are fucking gorgeous etc...)

You don't have to anything that drastic rofl, but I really wasn't scared at all after a few where nothing happened. I guess what Im trying to get at is have fun, If you are just fucking around and enjoying the moment, why be attached to what random people will think of you? It's for YOU!

You can miss out on some awesome girls not approaching, best of luck man[/quote]

Thank you , i get it !! I've reached another realization that i will post in my next field report !!

Day 47 (saturday)-AFC boyfriends ,cock-blocked from a celebrity and improvising wingman!

I went sarging today AFTER doing some assignments (a nice change and motivates me to do my work! ).

So i realise there are term for the problem i have-

OUT OF STATE!

When i go out , i usually mentally masterbate for awhile , then warm-up after missing many chances. Then i go and make ONE or two approaches and walk away with a number /nothing. I watched a youtube video that helps with your state , it's basically doing high risk (to your ego) things such as public embarrassment/ humiliation. Simple Pickup have a toned-down version where you do pushups if you puss out. This public embaressment system is sure to motivate me to not give a fu*k about the crowd!! This is a sequence of what all the possibilities are-

-If i puss out-i do pushups infront of everyone-public embaressment.
-I approach-public embaressment ( or atleast i deem it to be right now).
-If i fail in approach-public embaressment (look like a fu*king try-hard chode).
-If i succeed-no public embaressment.

Looking at this way , there's a 75% i'll definately feel embaressed. If i apply this everytime i go out , there's only going to be so much i can take before i actually don't care about the public anymore. I will DEFINATELY apply this-20 pushups per puss out.
Anyways onto the approaches!! Here where the main ones-

Russian Hb 9

This girl was simply beautiful!!! She was blonde , blue eyes , slim and had a face about as symmetrical as it gets! Onto the approach!

Me-Hey! I was walking past you and you look absolutely stunning (genuine)
Her-Sorry?
*people with her* sorry?? *big dude with them screwing the bejeezus out of me!!!*
Me-Wait where you from??
Her-Russia.
Me- Enjoy your stay here ! (friendly pat on shoulders)

Analysis

The thing about daygame in central london is you really cannot tell who's with who because there's simply too many people !! I realised shortly after that the big dude was either her boyfriend/husband whatever as they walked on , holding hands. The second they got split in the crowd i thought she was alone. This dude has serious AFC reactions though , almost as if he was hurt by me complementing his girl.

HB 8.5 English

This girl had gorgeous green eyes , slim and had a "princess" look to her. I saw her and just WENT!-

Me-Hi , you have amazing eyes ! (genuine).
Her- Thanks ( weird facial expression)
Me *spotting a black dude looking at me* - who is he?
Her-My boyfriend !
Me *waving* - hi , nice to meet you!
BF-*gives me the most devilish face possible*
Me-*puts up hands in the air* - Hey man , i didn't know! *walk away*

Analysis

The situation was exactly the same as above- they get lost in the crowd and me thinking she was alone. The dude had a look of real anger though , almost as if he was going to fight me haha.

Sophia HB 7.5 (Celebrity from 'Made in Chelsea'

So i walked down the street and i could've sworn i saw Sophia with an Asian dude and i just though 'NAH , can't be' and walked on. As i walked down the street i though 'just double check , just to make sure'. As i walk back down , to my surprise , it is!! I open-

Me- Hi , are you from that show , the only way is Essex? ( trashy yellow tanned , fake boobs counter-part)
Sophia- LOOOOL , no , made in Chelsea!
Asian dude-Do you get offended when your called that? ( i instantly notice he was just a fanboy)
Sophia-no , not really.
Asian dude-blabalablab , how old are you again.
Sophia-23.
Me-HOLY SH!T , you look 15!!! (strong neg , but kept it funny)
Her-LOOOOL , i think that's good for my modelling and acting career though (attempting to brush it off)
Me- nononono i mean JAILBAIT ( very strong neg , but kept it funny)
Her-LOOOOL *gives in.
Me-blablabalabblabl let's take a picture.
Her-Sure.
Me-*gives phone to Asian dude* * take pics for Asian dude after*
Me-By th-
Asian Dude- CAN i follow you on twitter?
Sophia-Sure!
*we all go our seperate ways*

Analysis

This was just from what i remember from the dialogue but i do remember him interupting me in the conversation atleast 8 times (seriously was being a fanboy) and it killed whatever banter , cocky funny conversation i was having with her. It was VERY difficult to create a bubble and get to know this girl after him interupting me so many times. She kept glancing back at me , throughout the conversation too. I wasn't being a try hard being an AFC , not treating her like she was some Goddess (this is mainly because i genuinely don't care about reality TV shows). I didn't want to re-approach her after as i felt it would be desperate and the initial spark was gone. I also felt DLV'd as the dude kept interrupting me!!!

I realise , this guys is a classic AFC , being WAY too nice and really putting in the effort to be a NICE CHODE.The sentence "CAN i follow you on twitter?" has so many damn wrong things with it...

HB 8.5 Estonian

This girl was a brunette with classical model looks ( highly symmetrical face, long legs , slim and quite tall)

Me-Hi! I saw you walk past me and i though you looked cute ( i think i fuc*ed up here as i spoke too fast).
Her-Sorry?
Me-*confused , thinking she may be a foreigner* -Where you from??
Her-Estonia , why? (I realised she can speak perfect English!!)
Me-*bumps into a Persian looking dude* , sorry *refocuses on the girl- I think you look cute and wanted to say hi.
Persian Dude-Give him you number *winking at me*
Me-Exactly! *gives friendly pat on his shoulder*
Her-*leaves*-
Persian dude-wait , come here , come here- *going off to side road with her*

Analysis.

First mistake is that i spoke far too fast , this was due to nerves as she was real beautiful. Then i stutter ALOT thinking the Persian dude may be her manager or something , but on hindsight he was just a random dude , and probably is banging her right now...My judgement was far too poor here and i should definately fix this somehow.

It was a ONS fail which kinda led into a f-buddy, which in turn nearly led into a relationship. This was in freshers week and the girl was from my floor in my hall.

_________________
My journal: eyrie-s-journal-to-becoming-the-man-vt148355.html

--If you are not giving, you are not living--

Day 51-Self-Punishment fails and family cock-blocks!!! (wednesday)

On Wednesday , i went to the mall and saw my damn cousins and aunties !!! I kept trying to go to the other parts of the mall but they were everywhere !!! I dunno why the f*** they decided to disturb but DAMN , my inner state and frame was totally smashed here. I am from a conservative family (with no sex before marriage and all that jazz) so it's VITAL they didn't know what i was upto. So i take the tube to oxford street.

Here i stumble into my cousin i haven't seen in 3 years!! Bare in mind i always half a head taller than him ( i'm 5'11 now) and now he's atleast 6'6...shocking stuff. Again , my inner state was smashed so all i did was do directions game and went home ( seriously WTF is going on here??)

I also realise the self-punishment game i wanted to do if i pussy didn't work at all LOL! I need a wing for this !!! Maybe because my state was broken this happened , who knows .

Day 52 - celebrity AMOG (thursday)

I remember this day... it was around 6pm i'm guessing and i seriously couldn't find many HB's and i didn't get a chance to REALLY warm up. I somehow end up Leicester Square and i realise why...

It was the red carpet event for Django unchained. There was rap music blasting over the venue. My path to Burger King completely blocked due to this stupid event. And the minute Samual L.Jackson stepped out of the car , the crowd...my ears hurt for hours!!! So many hot women were shouting for him , getting all wet and would do anything to get banged by him. This is when i saw the ultimate social proof and status-fame.

You can't beat it. Even though granted he looks very young for his age , he STILL IS 64 and could get WAY more girls than a MPUA without even trying !!! This is all great for him -he deserves it and has worked very hard to get to were he is BUT the problem wasn't that. I realise there was a GOLDMINE of HBs there and literally i opened around 20 of them but they wouldn't give me the time of the day!! They were just busy drooling over Samual L Jackson...

The after-effects

Though i felt privileged to have seen the cast of Django in real life , it DID have a side effect on me-I was completely and utterly AMOG'd. I felt unworthy of even APPROACH after this. I mean , who the hell am i compared to these super rich and famous dudes?? I really don't have anything to offer. I get pocket money from parents (desperately need a job!!) and i still live with them and i'm in full-time education. My social circle isn't all that too-a couple of close friends an a ton of casual friends/acquaintances).

So i decide to go home and hope my state changes the next day!!!

Day 53-Bumping into a flake , total inner game change and a weird new fetish...(Friday)

*Just want to point out that i've finished reading "the game" , it's quite a page turner! Now I'm reading "Power of Now" , i can't stress how much this is helping me get rid of the "past demons" that i have!

I realise i haven't been updating on the same day anymore , because of procrastination but don't worry it's gone now!!!

Importance of state-building

Before i went out today , i watched a bunch of seriously funny youtube troll videos ( seriously type that in troll videos , absolutely hilarious ) and i came to a realisation-

-i am enough

Though i've seen this quote from an RSD vid before i drew my own meaning to it. My life was perfectly functional before game , heck i've lived 18 years without women and i didn't NEED them then , i won't NEED them now , it's just a bonus to my lifestyle !

And also , here i was today , absolutely going to town with these youtube vids and realising no one supplied me with this joy but myself. I should just be happy talking to women without getting results as they can't take away my happiness from me.

Onto the daygame!!

Today i definately caught some women looking at me. There was a non-HB i saw and she forced herself to smile at me ( she was shy about i ) as we were walking past each other and i smile back. I look back after a couple steps and realise she's doing the same!! If i was to be calculate what could be the cause it would happen to be a combination of these factors-

-I have a right heel injury from football ( or soccer for the 'Murikans) which causes me to slow down my walk to avoid limping retardedly.

-My legs were chafing oddly enough today even though i'm fuarking skinny! This caused me to adopt a wider stance.

-I've been practising the 'eye smile' alot and had a perma-eye smile today.

-awesome state (I am enough)

-I improved upper body language ( chest out , chin up arms and elbows out ).

THEN

I hit central!! I was warming around until i saw THE Estonian girl. For those who don't know or in the event that i didn't type this , she was someone i daygamed. Very seductive eyes (yellowish green) and was a uni student and part-time bartender. I number closed her and it turned out to be a dude's number. I saw her approximately 3 weeks later from the close. As she walks past me with a HB4 friend i grab her elbow and give her that " don't i remember you from somewhere face and she looks at me weirdly and continues to walk. Oh boy , i wasn't about to give up that easy as i wanted to get to the bottom of it. I physically get right infront of her and-

Me-Hey , wait a minute , don't you remember me?
Her-I can't remember?
Me- I saw you at the bus stop and got your number a couple weeks ago.
Her- Oh now i remember ( bear in mind the whole tone of the conversation was me acting excited that it was nice to meet her and she looked very annoyed that she stumbled into me and had a monotone voice)
HB4- I don't think she remembered you ( i thought she was being a bit*h by i realised she wanted to join in the coversation.
Me-She just said she did.
HB4-I meant earlier.
Me-OH , that's what i thought !! But (focus on her now) when i was trying to text you , a guy replied?
Her-What? (fuc*ing bad actress , she knew about this sh!t)
Me- Yeah !
Her - I don't know ?
HB4 - It could be her dorm mate! She has to TONS of italian guys living with her (jelousy plot , over-emphasis)
Her-Yeah it probably was!!!
* I can't remember what happened afterwards but i became so needy and angry that i eject*

Analysis

I think of all , there was intrigue and interest but the minute i turned needy she picked up on it and decided to make me jelous. As for HER , im still inshock.

I had oneitis for this girl over the christmas period , i always bragged about her to my wing and everything. How could she heartlessly pretend not to recognise me and deny my existance??! How could she give me the cold stare and pretend to want nothing to do with me?? How could she?? HOW COULD SHE??

This seriously kept circling my head for the next 5 mins or so , i physically could not comprehend how this could've occured. We had a nice friendly vibe when i closed her and THIS is what i get in return?? Well she could f*ck herself!!! I don't want her damn number now and everyone else can f*ck themselves too.

I seriously began to adopt this "me against the world" mindset. I mean seriously , most people people i've met have f*cked me over in some way or another ( wether it be socially , physically or mentally) and i literally didn't care about what anyone thought of me then.

She didn't even have any decency to reject me so i was gonna show her what rejection means !!!

So i went on a rejection spree and made myself get reject around 20 times before going home. Needless to say i enjoyed it...abit too much! I destroyed my FEAR OF CROWD and tomorrow i plan to head to china town to break my fear of hitting on asian girls ( this is because i fear they may not speak English) and i plan on getting rejected another 20 times minimum.

SO , i FINALLY cracked the fear of crows and i'll try to keep this momentum going .

AS always , thanks for reading guys , and stay tuned for the next post!

Good job brother ^